Publication: "Before Heat" Weave Magazine Issue 10
February is a good month for me, the past two poems I have had accepted come out this month, the first poem is titled "Before Heat" and is out in issue 10 of Weave Magazine.
This issue of Weave is beautifully put together, the cover artwork is stunning, and I couldn't be more proud to be put alongside the other great writers in this journal. If you have never checked out Weave before you should definitely order a copy, it doesn't matter if you order mine or not, each issue always has quality work.
Enough about the fact I got published, with each publication I like to reflect about the lessons learned from writing the poem and editing it, and also to reflect upon how my writing has changed, etc.
"Before Heat" is a poem I have learned a lot from to say the least. This poem was one of the first "real poems" I ever wrote. When I say real poems I mean ones where I felt like I kind of knew what I was doing, I felt the connection that a poet should feel with their work, and I knew I had something in the words I had written. This being said, when I submitted this poem to Weave, several months ago, it was among the first group of poems I have need much editing and revising to. One of my biggest struggles is letting go of a poem I have written and allowing it to reform and transform into something bigger and better. Of course, I didn't edit it alone, I had some help like any good poet does, but it was still hard to tear apart the original work I had created and give it a new space in which to breath. When all was said and done not that much was changed, but the impact of the work had grown stronger, which is good. Once this poem was selected for publication it reinforced that revising is good. It doesn't mean I still do not struggle with revisions, but it helped me take the first couple of steps down the "road of revisions" if you will.
This piece also helped me learn that you can't give up on old work, if you find yourself distanced from a piece you wrote, it probably needs revision, and despite not feeling as close to it as you once did, it doesn't mean it is worthless and that it won't speak to others. While I didn't connect to the poem several months ago, I am connecting to it again now, it speaks to something everyone feels and sometimes it is more beneficial to make yourself face something you are not connected to that what you are connected to. Facing this poem (along with a few others I revised at the same time), helped me get past some writers block I was having and resulted in my working moving in a new way, unexpected way.
My writing has changed so much since I wrote this in my intermediate poetry class, and I find that perhaps the most frustrating thing is the fact that I feel like my abilities and my work have grown and become so much better, yet it is my older work that gets selected for publishing. I don't write to be published, but I feel as a poet I owe it to myself and the others to share and engage in the literary community by publishing. I find the most pressing question in my mind is what was different about my early work as opposed to now? I have some ideas, but I need to analyze things more, finding the missing link could prove a major turning point in my writing.
"Before Heat" is a poem is of loss, bitter sentiments, the wounds and darkness that come from letting go, and the symbolism that exists in life regardless of if it was meant to be there or not. Originally, it was titled "Basement Feelings", but that changed right after I wrote the poem a couple of years ago. It all stemmed from a single moment in my life that I will never forget because it was where the threads of so many parts of my life met up, were tied together, and ended. Perhaps it is a lack of letting moments exist more realistically in my work that has changed, I don't know.
Either way, I am grateful to be in the newest issue of Weave and I am grateful for the lessons I learned from this poem and its publication. Now, that grad school applications are out of the way I plan on attempting to revisit old work and take on the painful task (literally it tares into my soul) of reworking it.
Keep reading, keep writing, keep seeking,
M