This, here... again...
I always said I would let him go. That I would be happy once he was happy again, that I would wish him the best no matter what. And that I would stand back and let him go, since after all he let me go too.
I want him to have the best, to have what I couldn’t offer to him. That even then, I gave him all I knew.
So here I sit, looking upon the open truth he is giving me. He moved on, without me. Without telling me. He moved on, and is letting me know that he found happy. That I don’t need to worry about him anymore, and to show that the thing between us. is over.
So, here I sit, at my computer and in my room. I sit alone across the country. I sit in the place that I chose. in the place I said I would come and find my new beginning. The place that I would find my new version of happy, yet I still talk to the pieces of the past that did consist with a type of old, welcoming happy. I want to go back now, but what do I have to go back to?
Not him, he has moved on. The pieces that are left, they are the pieces that never left. They are the ones that I know I can trust, they helped me on this journey and let me go. They let me go and yet I didn’t try to see what they thought about it.
I look back in the photos on my computer from the years that formed me. The years that have been there for me. The years that shaped my mind, my heart.
The photos say more than what I could care to read. They don’t have words, they only have memories. And that is the problem, they don’t tell me anything nor anyone else. They only show what was and what won’t be.
Now, unlike the way it feels. The people in those photos are shadows, they aren’t even strangers. They are the people I called my friends, they are my lovers, my people, and my tribe.
Never will they be strangers with memories that we share, they will be the people I loved. They are the people that I grew up with. And they will not be easily forgotten.
