Hi [Former Boss],I hope you're well! Just wanted to drop a line to see how you're doing but not really because actually I want to know if you have any job openings for a 24-year-old toddler with an English degree and whose only marketable skill is spotting comma splices. . How are you? How's the company? I'm asking not because I care, but because I want to ensure that you still work here. You're my most valuable contact and would definitely not be able to find a job without your string-pulling. According to your LinkedIn, which I have open at the moment, you do still work here, so I'm in luck! . I've been keeping up with [company] via social media because I want to give the impression that I give a shit about the company on a level deeper than my own self-interest. Actually, I just scrolled through your Instagram like 10 minutes ago and got the gist of how the last year went. . Article by @e_spivack #intern #beggingforajob #hiremeplease #imbeggingyou #prideinmywork https://www.instagram.com/p/B9cozF3gABC/?igshid=1rseg8d6o5535