#beginbegun

[notinusehuh]

Things that scares me:

- commitment to anything - that I would die unhappy - forever - racism - living a life with out anti-depressive - feeling trapped - the end

[notinusehuh]

It feels, once again, like there is a small fox in my chest, trying to claw her way out.

I just can’t breath, nothing makes any sense, I hate and love everyone and I’m always in great physical pain.

Welcome depression… I’ll kick your but! Once again.

[notinusehuh]

Don't you just hate it when your 6 kilos cat sits on your punani and starts licking its genitals right in front of you?

Normal day in Madrid....

[notinusehuh]

"Jag måste bara fråga: gillar du mig som i att bara ligga med mig-gillar eller gillar-gillar du mig?" “Alternativ nummer två.” “Bra.” “Tror du verkligen att jag skulle vilja vara med dig såhär mycket eller sagt hur fin du är om det hade varit alternativ nummer ett?” “Ja tyvärr.”

[notinusehuh]

Ella died on my bday. Sadest day in a long time.

[notinusehuh]

You saved me this winter. I hope you know that.

Thank you for being my best friend.

[notinusehuh]

miss him, but not my scars. shit.

[notinusehuh]

To be alive at 21 is so sick. I'm supposed to be dead now. How the hell did I survive these years of shit? I'm very pleased i did though.

I still remind myself everyday that I'm a badass bitch who can survive anything. I'm so pleased that my life is now my life and no one else. To not be controlled and manipulated is fantastic. Love Madrid, love my friends, love my jobs, love my little sisters, love my family, love to be me for the first time.

And now I have 4 years left until I have to get my act together.

"At 25, something must change."