#beheaded!cathy

[mochiiikko]

Btw if you wanna be tagged for the Beheaded cathy fic give me a sign <3

[mochiiikko]

➸❥ Lies and their consequences

𝐍𝐀𝐕𝐈𝐆𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍 !

Beheaded!Catherine Parr, Stress cooking, Nightmares, Blood (not as bad as it sounds), Angsty but not really, platonic everyone, Except Aragon and Boleyn who are shoving their tongues down each other's throats in the background, also Cathy has a crush but, Mentioning the fact Cathy was a teen when Anne became queen bcus funny

↳ Catherine Parr, Catherine of Aragon, Kathryn Howard, Anne Boleyn, Anna of Cleves, Jane Seymour

𝐀𝐨𝟑

7.741 words

Hey there! Here is the long awaited Beheaded!Cathy fic before i get into it i wanted to talk a bit cause hey <3 this is technically a sequel to LiSL, but that was written a WHILE ago, and a lot of my hcs, dynamics, how i write, etc. Have changed. Like the switch from established clevemour to crushing clevarr. So all you really need to know is that Cathy lied about surviving and was beheaded, which the queens found out in said previous fic.

Other then that, thanks for sharing even slightly in my hype for this fic, this is the longest fic i have written in a WHILE and there will be surely be more to come. This isn't that in depth on the situation, but if this is well received i will write some side pieces, this fic got long very quickly so i had to end it somewhere adafj

But anyway, enjoy! Also please remember to reblog and/or leave some kind words <3 i worked really hard on this and it'd be nice/nf

Catherine Parr woke up at 2 A.M.

Their chest heaved as they shot to find their heartbeat. It was dark, they didn't yell. They weren't sure they could. 

Their hands found their heart, beating. Thankfully. Rapid, a rhythm that seemed out of tune. 

There was an ache at their neck, beating like their heart. But this hurt, it hurt a lot. Shame burnt at the back of their mind as they subconsciously brought their hands up to scratch at it. 

Even when the thick blood started oozing from the scar, they scratched. They should stop, they knew they should. But they couldn't. 

Whether it was the dissociation or the other being quiet. Cathy only realized someone had entered their room when their wrists were grabbed. 

The woman flinched, labored breaths leaving them as they fought against whoever was trying to hold them down. 

In an instant their mind returned to years ago, begging for their life and struggling against the guards. They were saying something, it didn't matter, it didn't. Catherine needed to talk to the king, they could still save this. 

Catherine gasped when they were pushed down, finding their breath taken from them. 

They weren't pushed to a hard ground, rather to a soft surface, had they been forgiven? Had it all been a dream? They could recognize it as a bed, they didn't know imprisonment would have such soft beds.

It didn't.

Cathy took in greedy breaths as their senses returned to them, what had been blur in front of them becoming a clear image and the distortion of sound becoming a clear hushing and humming.

Jane, it was Jane pinning them down to the bed. 

Jane was humming a tune to calm the other down, which Cathy immediately recognized as Jane's song in the show. They did mention really liking the song, hadn't they?

Cathy's fists unclenched as they calmed, attempting to squirm enough to let Jane know they'd gotten their senses back. 

The third queen seemed to get the hint, letting go of Cathy's wrists to sit next to them. 

"You okay?" Jane asked, gently rubbing at their knee. Cathy raised a brow, getting themselves up. 

"Yeah, fine. I could've.. dealt with it." Cathy tried, not daring to meet Jane's gaze. 

Jane huffed, an amused but kind and concerned smile crossing her features. "I can see that." She gestured to Cathy's neck. Cathy grimaced.

The wound they caused wasn't big and not fatal, Jane had gotten in before they could do any real damage, but it was bleeding. Not rapidly or like they would drown in their own blood. More like a wound you'd get when falling on your knees as a child. 

Still it felt uncomfortable, and it stung horribly. It took everything in them not to get up and scratch at it again. The ache hadn't subsided either. 

Jane seemed to notice where their mind had headed, giving a ruffle to their hair to shake them from their thoughts. "Lina's getting a towel and some bandages." She reassured.

Cathy managed a small smile.

"Wait, Lina? Wait shit, did I wake you up? Did I wake all of you up? I'm so sorry I didn't mean to! I didn't even scream! God i can't even not fuck up on just not waking people up, i'm so sorry i-"

"Catherine Parr!" 

Cathy snapped up to meet Jane's gaze. 

"Do not spiral on my watch like that! First of all, me and Lina were already awake and heard you start panicking. Before you ask, we were awake purely because we couldn't sleep. Second of all, Cathy, it would not be a problem if you woke any of us up, not even if you woke all of us up. You deserve your comfort too."

Cathy couldn't bring themself to respond. 

It wasn't that much longer until Catalina entered the room, holding more than Cathy had expected. 

"Okay, so i have the obvious, the towel and bandages, but i have some snacks, pain killers, that poem book you said you liked and a collection of bandaids from that show you watch to add some color to the bandages." Catalina rambled as she sat down next to her goddaughter, showing off the items as she listed them. Cathy was almost impressed.

"Oh there's also this thing I forgot the name of to make sure the wound doesn't get infected." Catalina showed off the small bottle. Cathy raised a brow. 

"Disinfector?" 

"That's the bitch." 

Cathy couldn't press back a smile. 

Catalina got Cathy to turn towards her while Jane held back their hair. "This might hurt." She warned, though she supposes the younger would already know that. She dabbed the towel where the blood was before wiping it clean with the part she'd wet.

It stung, horribly so, it took everything Cathy not to scream at the sensations at their neck. It didn't get any better when Catalina added the disinfectant in the mix.

Cathy hissed as Catalina worked the wound. Jane was holding their hand and squeezing to keep them grounded. Both women whispered soft reassurances to the last wife, who had started bouncing their leg at the overstimulating pain.

When Catalina finally finished and turned to grab the bandages did Cathy start calming down. There was still an incredible sting at their neck, but the removal of active movement was a significant change.

Catalina gently cooed, cupping their cheek. "Almost done, querida. Don't worry." She tried a reassuring smile, which Cathy tried their very best to return.

Cathy's breathing picked up as Catalina wrapped the bandage around their neck, being as gentle as she possibly could be. Jane continued with humming her song as gently played with Cathy's hair in an attempt to keep them in the twenty-first century. 

Logically it had been a few minutes at most, but Cathy felt like it took hours for the bandages to be finished. Tears stung at the corners of their eyes, small pained whines leaving them as they relaxed their ever aching neck.

The two other women's hearts broke at the sound, Jane combing through Cathy's curls gently in an attempt at comfort. "The pain will be over soon, chiquitita." Catalina assured, turning to give Cathy a band-aid of choice like she promised. 

It felt incredibly childish to Cathy, and a small blush arose to their cheeks as they chose. Their godmother gave an amused smile at Cathy's embarrassment, but did nothing more as she gently placed it on the side of their neck.

The three sat in silence for a few moments, the only sound in the room being Jane's humming.

"Has this happened before?"

Cathy turned to Jane. "What? The nightmares?" They asked, a brow raised.

Jane chuckled, her hand never ceasing with the comforting motions. "No.. i know those happen. But.. you hurting yourself like this when you woke up from one.. has that happened before?" She mused, her gaze soft.

Cathy froze, before curling in on themself. "Yes." They responded, bringing up their hand to bite at their nails. "I just dealt with it. At some point i'd get grounded by some random noise outside or something. Then i'd just clean it off in the bathroom and pretend it never happened. Never got a new scar from it, though." 

The other two listened carefully, both giving eachother a concerned look at the end. 

"I do wish you'd told us earlier, or just.. didn't lie about it at all." Catalina tried to sound a little like she was joking, it hadn't worked, she noted as Cathy curled further in on themself.

"I don't know why i did it, honestly. Or.. how i even managed it." Cathy chuckled. "I.. suppose i.. felt like my beheading was a failure. I'd so carefully planned out everything so i'd get out of that marriage alive. And it.. didn't work." They explained as best as they could.

"Of course that.. beheading thing being a failure only applied to me, and not the cousins." Cathy added with a small smile. 

Jane hummed in thought. "Wouldn't Anna have known?" She asked.

Cathy had to think for a moment. "I asked her about it recently. After Kate's beheading she didn't keep up much with the news from the English royal family, atleast until Henry died. So she just didn't get word of it. She'd heard people speaking of a beheading, but she never looked into who it was." They took in a breath.

"Besides that, it isn't like Anna particularly liked me back then. Which honestly you wouldn't say now. But i can completely forgive her for just caring so little she forgot. If that had been the case." Cathy giggled, what had clearly been a joke to them only making the other two wince in concern.

"No one really spoke of it after the fact i suppose, didn't stand out that much from you guys since i was basically more a nurse then i was a wife." They shrugged.

Catalina sighed, deciding to put the next Parr issue that was surfacing from the depths in her mind for tomorrow. It was late and frankly they needed sleep.

She smiled, taking Cathy's hand in her own. "Well, how about we talk about this tomorrow? You've had a hectic night and i think it's about time we get back to sleep." Cathy winced. Something which didn't go unnoticed.

"What if-" Cathy tried, though Jane quickly cut them off.

"If you get any nightmares we will be right here, ready to do all of this over again." She assured, holding Cathy's other hand.

Cathy wanted to retort, but found themselves unable to argue. It did seem rather nice to have them spend the night. 

Catalina chuckled, clearly knowing it. "Well, how about you make use of those pain killers, and i'll get that poem book ready, yeah?" Her voice was kind and soft, and the thought of being read to made a second round of blush spring to Cathy's cheeks. But they nodded either way.

….

Cathy couldn't say they were surprised when the two women were still in their room by morning.

They'd woken rather peacefully, not having any bad nightmares that night anymore. They found that Catalina was already awake the moment they'd opened their eyes. Their head had been moved to rest on her lap so that she could sit comfortably while reading.

Jane was still sound asleep, keeping Parr stuck in a hug.  

Catalina hummed, shutting her book when she realized her goddaughter had woken up. 

"Good morning, sleeping beauty." She smiled, gently playing with their curls. "I would ask if you want breakfast, but it seems you're a little trapped." She giggled, gesturing towards the arms wrapped around their waist.

Cathy smiled. "I'm sure she'll wake up soon."

"Anything happened yet?" They asked. Catalina thought for a moment.

"The others came to check up on us, other than that nothing has happened." She responded. 

"Did you tell them what happened?" The younger asked, bringing them self up as much as they could with Jane clinging to them. Catalina smiled. 

"Not in detail, I just told them you had a nightmare so we stayed the night." Cathy smiled at the answer, they weren't sure they'd forgive themself if the other cousins heard of them hurting themself like that.

"They wouldn't mind you know." Catalina quickly said. "They care just as much about your well being as you do theirs."

Cathy raised a brow, an amused grin on their features. "How did you know i was thinking about that?" They asked.

Catalina laughed. "You're like an open book! Honestly Mi Amor, you're pretty easy to read, especially in the morning."

"I lied about my beheading to you. For two years." 

Catalina shoved them aside playfully, rolling her eyes. But a smile reached her when Cathy laughed in response.

…..

Much like Cathy had suspected, It didn't take much longer for Jane to wake up, craving her breakfast.

And it didn't take much longer for all the inhabitants of the house to come down for breakfast.

 The ladies had started up their own conversation, which Maggie then somehow dragged Anne into. Jane had given herself the task of making everyone's breakfast and Anna had wrapped Catalina in a heated discussion about a new game she had found.

Which left Cathy and Kate.

Who were just sitting there.

Quietly.

Before the truth had come out, Kate had her thoughts about Cathy's 'almost' beheading. Sure the other women were several levels of pissed, but Kate was furious. She honestly hadn't thought much about why she was so mad, but she was.

This had worsened when she learned that the almost beheading had been a lie. And they'd actually gotten beheaded.

She'd jokingly praised Cathy for her lying skills after the fact, and tried her best to cool off after it but she couldn't.

She, first of all, couldn't believe Cathy would lie about something like that, but she also supposed they had their own reasons she wouldn't probe in until they allowed it. 

She'd also gotten extremely protective of them.

There must've been a reason they were afraid to tell the truth right? And Kate knew it had something to do with a differing opinion.

(Cathy once again found themself in a discussion, 'someone who attended the show talking shit again' they'd explained later.

Kate couldn't help herself, she overheard the whole thing. She could barely stop herself from giggling at how hard Cathy was kicking this guy's ass.

"Well, it's just that i think-" 

"The last time you thought for yourself you almost got killed."

Kate had never stepped out to defend someone so fast.

 She quickly came out from her hiding spot. Startling both Cathy and the man they'd been talking to. 

Cathy looked around to where the other could have come from, confusion in their eyes.

"What? Kate where-?"

"You should leave." Kate spoke up, looking the man straight in the eyes, and stepping behind Cathy.

"With all due respect we were just having a discussion."

Kate shook her head. "That didn't sound like a normal discussion." 

Before the man could retort, she continued. "Don't be a dick. Leave them alone." 

The man groaned, but did as he was told, heading straight to the door.

Cathy looked up, Kate's gaze immediately softening at catching the other's eyes. "..Thank you"

"I.. You're welcome.")

In some sense, Kate blamed herself. In a similar way to how Anna blamed herself for Kate's beheading. Barely being able to look Cathy in the eye. 

The fifth wife was snapped out of her thoughts as Jane handed her her breakfast, at which point she realized everyone had sat down at the table.

She'd talk to Anna later.

…

It was about 2 P.M when Anne walked into a kitchen filled with treats and sweets. 

She'd decided to come down, a snack would go well with her reading. But her plans changed as soon as she walked in and saw several plates full of them.

"Jane?" She called, the kitchen was full of evidence that Jane had been there. But Jane was nowhere to be found.

"Oh! Anne, do you want something?" Came Jane's cheery voice from behind her. Anne whipped around, smiling at her softly.

"Yeah, well. Originally- Are you okay?" 

Jane tensed for a second, before smiling and going back to her spot to work further on her treats. "I'm fine, why do you ask?"

Anne grimaced. "Jane, you're stress baking." She responded softly.

"Oh."

Jane stopped, staring blankly in front of her.

"Cathy hurt themself last night." She said. Anne wasn't exactly sure if she realized she did.

"When they woke up from their nightmare. They started scratching at their neck and they were bleeding, Anne they were bleeding, lord it felt horrible." Jane rambled.

Anne quickly scrambled over towards her, taking her into a one-sided hug.

"I wondered how long they've been doing that. And we just didn't know. Anne oh my god. Anne, I'm so sorry." Jane started trying to hold back tears, her voice wavering in the process.

"It just reminded me so much of you and Kate. And i'm so sorry i got into the affair with Henry. I caused your death Anne. I'm so sorry." The third wife cried, hugging Anne back.

Anne barely knew what to say, so instead she settled for rubbing Jane's back as she sobbed. 

"It's alright, Jane you're alright." She assured, still processing everything that she was told.

Jane quieted down into quiet sniffles as Anne collected her thoughts, deciding what to say next.

Anne swallowed. "You know, the world has a funny way of working."

Jane looked up in confusion.

"If it had not been you, it would have been someone else. Fate and such." She smiled when she got a small chuckle out of her cousin. "But seriously, if anything i am glad it was you, and nobody else. I would have never forgiven someone else."

Anne smiled softly, meeting Jane's gaze. "You're a wonderful person, and you are fully deserving of my forgiveness." She assured, patting Jane's back.

"And as for Cathy, what they did was wrong. But i do fully believe they are also deserving of our forgiveness. There's definitely an underlying issue waiting to get dug up." She chuckled.

Jane hummed, swaying in her cousin's hold. "They talked a bit about it last night." Anne perked up.

"Really?"

"They said they felt like it was a personal failure. They also, just to clear them, said that the thought of the beheading being a failure only applied to them. And not you or Kate. It's not much of a reason. But it's an insight." 

Anne giggled. "At least it's a start."

Jane smiled, nodding in agreement.

"You know.. it's really been hard to trust their word on things recently." The third wife whispered. Anne hummed.

"Yeah, i get where you're coming from. I know they aren't like that. But something in me is screaming 'if they lie about something like that, what else could they be lying about', you know?" She responded. 

Jane chuckled, nodding. "It's just.. hard. I know they aren't the type to lie about random things. But if they lied about their literal head getting chopped off.." She trailed off.

"And it ranges from small things. Like me not being sure if i believe their 'i'm not hungry' when i ask if they want a snack. To wanting to know if there's something their holding back when they talk about their past." Jane continued, biting her nails.

Anne nodded. "Same here, i just wonder if there's more to it." She smiled softly. "I'm sure they'll tell us more, when they're ready."

"I hope so."

…

A knock on her door awoke Anna from her trance, setting down the sketchbook she'd been working on.

"Come in!"

The door opened and in came a very tense looking Kathryn Howard. She walked over to the bed, sitting on the edge.

Anna raised a brow, turning her chair around to face her. "What's up, Katze?" She asked, rolling over to sit a little closer.

"I just.. i wanna talk about Cathy." Kate responded, fidgeting. Anna raised a curious brow.

"Okay..? And what do you wanna talk about concerning Cathy?" She asked, her voice soft as ever. 

"Do you think i'm at fault for their beheading?" 

Anna was taken aback, staring at the younger woman in front of her. 

"No! Why would you think that?"

Kate looked around the room, wearily. She was clearly tired. "It's just.. if- had i.. if i had survived a little longer just enough for Cathy to marry their Thomas.. he couldn't hurt them." She responded, blurting out all her feelings before she could decide it was a bad idea.

Anna quickly reached for Kate's hand, shaking her out of her emotional state.

"Kate, what happened to Cathy was horrible. But what happened to you is also horrible. You had no control over your situation and shouldn't blame yourself. Henry was horrible. Mannox, Dereham and especially Culpepper. Were horrible people. And what they did to you is unforgivable. And most importantly, not your fault."

Kate nodded, wiping away stray tears. "I've learned that.. and in some way i only partially blame me. I mostly blame Henry, of course. And i blame Thomas." Anna nodded, gently helping with wiping away the younger's tears.

"Hey, Katze. Can i tell you a secret?" Anna smiled gently. Kate seemed confused, but nodded.

"Cathy came to me too, before the house of cards fell down." She chuckled. "You know what for?"

Kate shook her head, curiosity filling her eyes. 

"They came for the same advice you came for. They blamed themself for your beheading." Anna said, Kate backing up in temporary shock.

"Do you blame them, Kate?"

"No!"

Anna smiled, pulling Kate into a hug. "Then they won't blame you either." 

Kate hesitated, but returned the hug with her own smile.

"You should talk to them, it'd give you some clarity." Anna added as Kate let go of her. The younger nodded, wiping away remaining tears.

"I'll talk to them soon, i need a bit. Thanks."

Anna grinned, patting Kate's knee before she stood up to leave. "You're welcome!"

And with the slam of the door, Anna happily went back to her sketchbook.

…

Cathy had always felt guilt and shame swell deep inside their stomach whenever anything in the musical mentioned them surviving. This feeling had only gotten worse after the word had gotten out to the other queens.

They'd found themself rushing off the stage after the megasix, ignoring the concerned looks they got from everyone. They always changed as quickly as they could, so the silence that filled theirs and Anna's dressing room wouldn't choke them.

Today was no different. Well it was, in the essence that when they'd gotten into the dressing room they felt incredibly tired and instead of starting to undress, quietly sat in their chair.

It only took Anna a few more seconds before entering as well, taking in Cathy's position before moving to sit next to them.

The fourth wife started tugging her costume off, while the sixth merely sat there.

"I suppose you don't want to do stage door?" Anna asked, a small grin on her face. Cathy looked up, Anna wincing at the change of pace. Cathy had been so energetic just now during the entire show, yet now they looked.. empty.

"I'm really sorry, you know." Cathy spoke up, barely audible.

Anna frowned, moving closer. "Sorry about what, Schatze?" Cathy chuckled darkly, pointing to their neck.

"For lying about it. I couldn't tell you why i did it, nor how i managed it. But i am really sorry." They responded, looking down and grabbing at the pants of her costume. 

Anna raised a brow, a small smile still remaining on her face. "You've said you're sorry a lot, we forgive you. You know that right?"

Cathy bit their lip, tugging a little harder at the fabric. 

"I know. But i'm not blind and neither am i deaf. It's not hard to see that you guys don't take my word for things anymore."

Anna frowned, but before she could say anything Cathy continued.

"I heard Anne and Jane talking about me yesterday. They were talking about how hard they thought it was to trust me. I get where they're coming from but fuck that shit hurts." Tears stung at the corners of their eyes, which they quickly wiped away before Anna could see.

"You guys say i'm like an open book but i managed to hide the cause of my fucking death which is visible on my skin for two years and you guys couldn't manage to hide the fact you think i'm a lying bitch for longer then one week." 

Anna winced, but that didn't stop her from attempting to reach for Cathy's hand.

"Fuck that was harsh i'm so sorry." Cathy blurted out, covering their mouth with the hand Anna was trying to grab.

"I totally get you. Like i said i straight up lied about my death why wouldn't i be a fucking liar? You guys have every right to be mad as shit, i don't know why you aren't."

"Cathy we could ne-"

Cathy's breathing started to pick up as they continued to ramble. "I fucked everything because i believed my death ruined my fucking dignity, like i had any to begin with. Of course you guys wouldn't trust me, i'm so sorry i said that."

"Cathy please, hold on a min-"

"I shouldn't have fucking lied to begin with, now i'm bitching about you guys doing something which is natural response to it like a fucking idiot. I'm so sorry."

"Catherine Parr." 

Cathy shot up to meet Anna's gaze and in an instant they were sure they'd never felt more like a child to a disapproving mom then they did right at that moment.

Anna frowned when Cathy shied away from looking at her, their fingers tugging at their top. 

"I'm really sorry i said that, that was wrong." Cathy said, their voice wavering in what was an obvious attempt to bite down tears.

"Thank you for acknowledging that, Cath. You being able to admit and apologize for that makes you ten times better then several people we know immediately. We all make mistakes." Anna assured, trying to coax Cathy to look at her to see her words were sincere.

"But, i must admit. While being distrustful of you for a while is a natural response, especially when you lie about.. that." Anna gestured towards the choker around Cathy's neck, to which the other smiled sheepishly.

"But you are still family, and we don't treat family like they're outsiders. And i'm sorry if you feel we've been treating you like you are." 

Cathy stayed silent and frozen for a few more moments, before deflating and letting themself fall onto Anna's shoulder.

"Why are you so good at this shit." Cathy said, more a statement then it was a question. Anna laughed.

"Because you're important to me, you little shit." Anna teased, getting a small smile from the younger. 

"I can say the stupidest shit around you, and you'll still be my friend. I like that." Cathy whispered, reaching to hold Anna's hand. Something which Anna accepted with an internal celebration of victory.

"Of course, i have been known to let people be stupid around me." Anna joked, getting a laugh from Cathy.

"But seriously, Catherine. You haven't fucked anything. Yeah shit happened, but we're a family. We've gone through stuff before and came out of it fine. If we give it some time. Everything will return back to normal soon."

Cathy nodded, finding themself getting too tired to argue. 

"You're a really strong person Cath. We'll get through this."

It was half an hour later that the door to the dressing room was opened again, a concerned Catherine of Aragon standing in the doorway.

Her gaze softened and she breathed a sigh of relief when she saw her goddaughter and Anna on the couch.

Anna had gotten completely out of costume, Cathy still had the pants on but their top was replaced by a very oversized red t-shirt.

Anna looked up from her phone, giving a smile to Catalina. "They're asleep. Don't worry, i got them."

And if anyone had seen the way Cathy freaked out when they realized they'd not only fallen asleep on Anna but also woke up in her shirt, well they certainly didn't say a thing.

…

Catalina had talked to Anne about it, worrying for her goddaughter after what they'd said about their beheading. But it felt weird to confront them about it 3 days later.

But Anne had said it would be better to talk to them about it. So that's how Catalina found herself outside of Cathy's room figuring out if she should knock or not.

Before she could retreat however, the door slammed open. Catalina was lucky Cathy's door went inside, or she'd have been slammed on the face.

"Oh. Madrina, hi." Cathy said, stepping back. Catalina smiled sheepishly, waving in response.

"Can i come in?"  She asked to which Cathy immediately froze. Catalina's concern only grew at that. 

"I kinda thought i escaped that talk." Cathy chuckled, stepping aside to allow the older into their room. Catalina smiled, going to sit on the edge of their bed.

Cathy sat beside her, quietly fidgeting with her fingers. "It's about what i said, right? About my beheading being a failure?" They asked, their voice quiet.

Catalina nodded. "I wanted to talk about it, but it felt weird to go to you 3 days after the fact. But Anne said it'd be better to talk about it."

Cathy chuckled. "Of course she did."

The two sat in silence for a moment as Catalina quietly considered her next actions.

"What did you mean by it?" Cathy looked up, searching their godmother's face for any judgement.

There wasn't any.

"I meant what i said. For the longest time i considered my beheading a failure, i still catch myself thinking it." Cathy explained, their eyes glued to the floor. 

Catalina frowned. "Why did you think that?" 

"I planned it all out. So carefully i made sure not to make a single mistake." Cathy mused. "And then i just had to say my opinion on something which didn't even matter." They spat out in frustration. “I know there was only a small chance i could have saved it, but jesus christ. I should have done something more instead of just accepting i’d be put on the scaffold.”

Catalina hummed as Cathy groaned. “That’s the reason i still ask for your guys’ opinion on things before voicing my own. Or even agree with you when i don’t. I know you guys won’t charge me for fucking treason-” Catalina chuckled. “But there’s this underlying trauma response that i just couldn’t get rid of.” 

“Same reason that i didn’t tell you, i thought i would seem like a failure. Like i couldn’t even manage to survive even though he was so close to his death.” Cathy leaned back, a little too scared to lean on Catalina. “Now that i’m saying it out loud i sound fucking stupid.” 

“No you don’t.”

Cathy perked up at that, looking at Catalina.

“What?” 

“That doesn’t sound stupid. You were severely traumatized and have left over behaviors from it. That’s understandable, you realize that’s the same reason Anne put on the chaotic persona for the longest time? Her being so smart and clever was one of the reasons she got killed.”

Cathy thought for a moment. “I.. never thought about it like that.”

Catalina smiled, taking Cathy’s hand before taking them in a hug. “Maybe you should talk to Anne about this. It might ease your mind.”

“Yeah, i’ll do that.”

They stayed like that for a moment, enjoying each other's embrace. At least until Catalina decided she wanted to ease the somber mood in the room.

“Why were you so flustered when you gave Anna her shirt back this morning?” 

“How about we stop talking for a while.”

….

Cathy seemed to have been getting a lot of visits that day, as an hour after Catalina had left Kate had entered.

Kate seemed nervous, which worried Cathy, who saved and shut their project off. “Hey Kat, What’s wrong?” They turned towards the younger with a raised brow.

“I wanted to talk.” 

Cathy giggled, patting the bed. “That’s obvious. But what do you wanna talk about?” They asked. Kate sat where they pat the bed, completely tense. 

“About our beheading’s.” She responded.

“Cathy do you.. think i’m at fault for your beheading?” 

Cathy’s eyes grew wide, quickly grabbing both of Kate’s hands and kneeling in front of her. “No! Never! I could never! You did nothing, you had no control over either of our situations.” Kate nodded, tears already at her eyes. Cathy quickly cupped her face, smiling softly. “I mean it, there is not a single second in my life that i have blamed you for anything. Besides when you stole the snacks Jane made for me. I blamed you for that.”

Kate laughed, wiping her tears away.

“You had no control over your situation neither did you mine. You wonderful girl, i’m so sorry if i’ve made you feel like i do.” 

Kate shook her head, a small smile on her own features. “You haven’t, it’s just trauma and shit.” 

Cathy chuckled. “I get that.”

Kate hummed. “Why did you blame yourself for mine?”

Cathy froze before grinning. "You talked to Anna didn't you?" Kate grinned sheepishly and nodded.

"I did. And i still catch myself doing so." Cathy confessed, looking down.

"Sometimes i wonder if i hadn't gone to court so often, somehow it wouldn't have happened. But i know that's not how it works." They smiled up at Kate. "Which is why you shouldn't blame yourself for anything either, Fate has a funny way of working, if not you it's someone else."

Kate raised a brow. "Have you been talking to Anne? She says the exact same thing constantly."

"I gotta learn it somewhere." Cathy shrugged, giggling. "I overheard her say it recently, felt like it fit." 

Kate smiled. "I suppose so."

"Say, how did you manage to get historians to say you survived."

Cathy gave a cheeky smile. "Well, you remember that time our savings suddenly got really low without explanation."

"...oh my god-"

….

It was the next day when Cathy decided to listen to Catalina's advice.

They'd asked Anne if they could talk after the first show, which Anne happily responded to with a 'yes!' 

But to be honest as they walked off the stage, the dread pooling their stomach almost made them reconsider.

"I prepared some snacks for us." Anne said, walking over to the cabinet's while Cathy sat down.

Cathy fiddled with the peplum of the costume.

Anne raised a brow as she handed Cathy a few brownies. "So, Mon ange, what did you wanna talk about?" Anne smiled, sitting across from the last wife. 

"You know… 'the one thing we have in common.' So to say."

"Our undying love for Catalina, though incredibly different." 

Cathy gave her a death glare. "Stop talking to me about fucking my godmother." Anne laughed. 

"I didn't say anything about fucking." She said, an amused smirk on her features. "But seriously, what did you wanna talk about?"

Cathy gulped. "Anne.. How did you deal with it." Anne gave them a confused look. "Like, how did you deal with.. being scared of like.. being the smartass you are now." 

Anne hummed. "Okay, first of all. Cheeky comment there that i will ignore for now. second of all, before we get into anything, is it alright if i asked you why you wanted to talk about this?"

Cathy frowned. "I talked to Catalina-"

"I knew it."

"Shut the fuck up. I talked to Catalina about how my beheading affected how i share my opinions with you guys, and that you deal with something similar. I know Kate does too, but i don't wanna burden her with it."

Anne nodded, processing what was told to her. "Ah, The 'i'm totally not the smartest person in the house i'm such a gremlin please don't behead me for correcting you' dilemma"

Cathy giggled. "Yeah, that." 

"Alright, hit me."

The last wife hesitated before sighing. "So.. you may know i got beheaded because i disagreed on exactly one topic with Henry." 

"Motherfucker."

"Right. But because of that, i have a really hard time sharing my thoughts on things. I know you won't straight up charge me with treason but.." 

Anne chuckled, giving Cathy a soft smile. "That's why you ask for our opinions first, right? Like when you were writing the show you needed to check with all of us what our opinion on every line was." 

Cathy blushed, but nodded in response. 

Anne laughed. "And when we're discussing anything you ask what we think and agree with us, sometimes through gritted teeth." 

Cathy nodded again. 

Anne's gaze softened, the humor in her tone disappearing in an instant. "Look, Ma belle. I know trauma is a hard thing to deal with, especially fucking death trauma. But i also promise you we would never judge you on any opinion you have, let alone outcast you. And surely we won't behead you."

Cathy sighed as Anne took their hand in both her own. "I know that's hard, and it's going to be a long process, i'm not even done. If it helps, you can just start out by voicing your opinion to me or Cat."

The last wife gave the second a grateful smile. 

"I know it may turn out you need a different method of learning this then i did, but if that's so, we'll figure it out along the way." 

Anne stood up to get a round the table and get a seat next to Cathy, before taking them in a gentle hug. 

"Now was that all, or do you need more advice from the girlfriend of your godmother?"

Cathy barked out a laugh, covering their mouth with their hand.

"You're so cringe ew."

Anne raised a brow, a teasing grin on her face. "I deserve to be, i knew you when you were a child-"

"I was fifteen."

"And have every right to make you cringe because of it. And besides, i do remember this.. one time when you-"

"NOPE!" Cathy shot out from their seat, making a break for the door. "Don't wanna hear it, lalala!" 

Anne laughed, chasing right after them. "Come back here! Let me cheer you up by making you cringe at your past actions!"

"SHUT UP!"

….

Catherine Parr woke up at 2 A.M.

They choked on a scream as they shot up, their chest heaving and their neck aching. Their hands shot to find their heartbeat as they coughed, which only made the pain at their neck grow.

They could see out of the corner of their eye a light turning on, they didn't care. They couldn't.

The ache at their neck felt like a beating heart, but this hurt, it hurt a lot. Shame burnt at the back of their mind as they subconsciously brought their hands up to scratch at it. 

Except they couldn't.

The blurry mess that was their vision shifted, realizing their hands were being held out in front of them. And that the light had turned on. And that literally everyone was there.

Damn.

It was Catalina holding her hands, a soft smile on her face. "Hey mi cielito, you doing alright there?" Cathy couldn't manage for anything to come out of their mouth, so instead they just stared.

Cathy took the time to look around their room, the other queens scattered about. Anne sat at their desk and Jane had taken the bean bag and turned it around from the tv to face them. Kate had thrown a cushion on the floor to sit on top of, Anna having done the same.

Catalina was crouched in front of them, still with that smile, still holding their hands.

Their mouth felt dry.

"I'm.. sorry i woke you up." They muttered.

Catalina huffed in amusement, getting up sitting beside them. "Mija, do any of us look bothered?"

"Anne does." 

Anne shot her gaze up giving a glare towards the last wife, who smiled slightly in return. 

"It's my resting bitch face. I assure you, i'm not bothered." She smiled, rolling her eyes when Cathy giggled.

"But seriously, none of us are bothered. Like me and Jane said, you deserve your comfort." Catalina tapped Cathy's nose, to which the other physically cringed.

"Besides, it's nice not being the one who has their room filled with people to comfort them for a nightmare." Kate spoke up, a cheeky grin on her face. "Nice to switch roles every once in a while."

Anne laughed. "I hear you!"

Anna looked at the queens in the room before taking a breath. "You know, a lot has happened recently. And i think it's time we talk about it like, y'know, adults." 

Immediately the atmosphere in the room changed, an uncomfortable tension hanging in the air. But the other queens nodded anyway.

"Well, alright. So we all have our own thoughts and have had our own conversations about what happened last week." Anna's gaze shifted to Cathy. "Some conversations more full of cursing." The last wife smiled sheepishly.

"But it's about time we brought those thoughts out in the open and talked about them."

After that the room stayed silent, everyone waiting for everyone to make the first move.

Cathy sighed, this wasn't going anywhere.

"I'm really sorry about lying. And sorry about going through such drastic measures to keep the lie going. That was horrible of me to do, especially about such a topic." 

The last wife curled in on themself, biting on their nails. "I still carried a lot of trauma, i suppose. Most of my life had been planned for me and i always followed. Which is a miracle considering.. everything. So when Henry asked.. forced me to marry him, i made a plan so i could survive it. Except i didn't, and apparently everything being planned out for me and people getting mad at me when i messed up, fucked with me more then i'd realized."

Catalina placed a hand on Cathy's knee, giving them a soft smile. 

"Trauma makes you do a lot of bad shit doesn't it?" Kate said, chuckling. "When i'd learned you were nearly beheaded i'd gotten really angry, not at you. Not that i knew who i was mad at. So when i learned you actually got beheaded…"

Cathy nodded along. "..You became extremely protective of me."

"Right, i think now that i've really thought about it, in some sense it was a trauma response. When all of history blames you for the abuse you went through, you start blaming yourself for things. Some part of me wanted to make it up to you, though deep down i knew i had no control over what happened to either of us."

"I swear, if i could go back in time and kill those men, i would." Anna said, making Kate giggle.

"Thanks, Anna." 

"I think i went through something similar." Jane spoke up. "Not the whole beheading and blaming myself thing. But when we reincarnated i felt a lot of guilt for leaving behind Edward, even though i couldn't control it. So i became really protective and mother-like to all of you, even though i'm only older than Kate."

Catalina smiled. "Both Anne and me went through that too." 

Anne nodded. "Yeah, being beheaded after having a daughter is a little traumatic. Also sorry about Mary, babes." 

"You're forgiven hun."

"Gay."

"Shut up Anna."

Anne coughed, gesturing towards Cathy. 

"Right, sorry." The first and fourth queen said in unison.

Anne laughed. "Okay look, Cathy, i'm gonna give it to you straight here. If i had been the one to figure it out, i would've slapped you upside the head and smacked the shit out of you." Cathy's eyes widened as they gave her a nervous grin.

"That being said, i understand what trauma can do to a person. So here on out officially, though already done unofficially before, i forgive you." 

Catalina nodded. "Mi amor we all do, i'm sorry we haven't been clear enough with you on that."

"Thanks, but there's really no need to be sorry for anything, i'm the one that fu-"

Anna frowned, crossing her arms. "Let's cut it with that, okay? You lied about something horrible, and that was wrong. But you didn't fuck up anything. We're talking it out right now aren't we?"

Cathy hesitated before nodding slowly. 

"We're a family and we don't let one mistake ruin that."

There were several noises of agreement around the room, and it only widened Cathy's smile.

Anna raised a brow. "On the topic, Cathy, do you wanna tell them what you told me a few days ago?" 

Cathy froze, dread pooling in their stomach. "Not really, actually." They smiled nervously. 

Anna smiled. "But it would be better to get it out in the open, wouldn't it?" Cathy whined, which only got a chuckle out of the fourth wife. "You're allowed to leave out all the cursing, by the way." 

Cathy hesitated for a few more moments, before releasing tension with a sigh. "I overhear you guys talking about me a lot. How you think it's hard to believe me for a lot of stuff. Which i get, i lied about my death. But it'd be nice if you could make it less obvious."

They smiled a little, before returning to hiding their face in their knees.

Jane winced, immediately knowing they'd heard her and Anne talking. "I'm sorry, love-"

Cathy shook their head. "You don't have to be, lied about my death. Like, scarily well. It's a natural human response; it'll go away after a while. I'd just appreciate it being hidden a little better." They smiled sheepishly, shrugging.

"I, also, want to reiterate that we're all allowed our human responses to things but let's not overboard. Let's not make Cathy feel like they're being shoved away, yes?" Anna said, looking around the room for everyone's responses. The other queens, thankfully, nodded.

"Sorry if we've made you feel that way." Jane spoke up. Cathy gave her a comforting smile.

"You're good."

Anne clapped. "Does anyone have anything else they'd like to say about it now?" At the sincere no's and shaking of heads, Anne continued. "So we agree that what happened was weird and wrong, but we're all kinda over it now and going back to what we were before? With slight changes to accommodate the discovery, of course." There were more noises of agreement

She smiled. "Good."

It stayed silent for a few minutes, before Catalina sighed. "If no one says it, i will."

"What?" Cathy looked up in confusion. "What are you talking about?"

"Cathy.. we've all been talking and thinking about it for a bit now." The other women in the room nodded, though slightly hesitantly.

"Hm?"

….

"We want to rewrite the show."

Taglist : @unwrittenemmy @2nerd4this @unpaididiot @iamheretodomythingrip

[mochiiikko]

LOOK AT HOW HARD I'M FUCKING SLAYING THIS FIC AND I'M FAR FROM DONE