#behindthemonitor

[utameiday]

5 Things | OOC meme

Tagged by: No one, but snagged it from @theroua
Tagging: Anyone who wants to!!

5 Things in My Bag(I rarely carry a bag tho, so assume jacket pockets):

- Keys
- Various sweet notes from a classmate
- iPhone 
- 2-4 guitar picks of different density
- Old polaroid photo of a stray cat

5 Things You’ll Find in My Room:

- A mandolin
- Collection of H.P. Lovecraft novels
- Mahogany scented candles
- Empty Hendrick’s Gin and Glenfiddich whiskey bottles on display
- Spare septum ring

5 Things That Make Me Happy:

- 80’s metal/rock music
- Spontaneous adventures
- Bad decisions involving a shopping cart - Physical contact
- Playing my different instruments

5 Things I’m Currently Into:

- Recently started to teach myself piano at a music library
- bad soft-grunge aesthetic posts turned into memes
- watching countless people pass by outside a local coffee shop
- Darkest Dungeon
- The Punisher (the tv show)

5 Things on my To-Do List:

- Finish Davy Jones’ Organ on piano
- Find a new job that I can work late shifts on due to school
- Go to that one kebab place again, get dat good good
- Continue working on my semester assignment which is due early January - Save up to meet some good dudes I’ve met here in this community

[utameiday]

Absence & Disappearance (OOC)

As some may have notice, I have a tendency to disappear completely, both in-game and on tumblr. Suddenly I will have periods where I’m almost never logged into FFXIV and don’t post on tumblr, at all. This little thingie here is meant as some sort of explanation to those who have taken note. I figured I should write it her since I have received questions about it. I’ve played FFXIV for quite some time, but I didn’t really get deep into it’s RP before summer 2016, right after I got off campus. Like many others in this community, I have my struggles, and FFXIV provided a dope escape. It wasn’t until around christmas 2016 that I realized I’m taking it way too seriously. It was around the same time as the topic of IC =/= OOC swirled around tumblr in regards to people leaving RP for the night with a sour taste in their mouth. After this, I became very cautious about how much time I spent in RP, and who I RP’d with, which made room for the truth that I had ignored my issues and struggles. The escape was so good that I completely forgot about them ‘til I stepped away from the monitor. And that was not good at all. 

As a result, I came to associate FFXIV with my issues and struggles, and the moment my life got 10 times brighter in February 2017, I disappeared. I disappeared because I was scared that FFXIV would drag me down and remind me of everything I hate. I was scared that I would spiral back down. So scared that I didn’t even tell people goodbye, or... See you again. For that I apologize, and I really am sorry, it’s a dick move. Alas, none of this is an excuse for hurting some people by just straight up leaving again and again, but I want this to serve as an explanation. I’ve never been very keen on opening up to people in large groups about what I struggle with, so I found it easier to just bail. Another reason I have for writing this is that since 2016, I’ve played on and off, dipped my toes so to speak. So that I could one day go back to the RP I enjoy, and because I enjoy it, not because I can’t accept my struggles. I think that is today.

[menganhlabathi]

#workgang #behindthescenes #behindthemonitor #lovewhatyoudo I wonder what we were checking on our phones cc @mapholoba.e @ntando_magubane

[utameiday]

67: What were you doing last night at 12AM?

I... Think I was playing Hotline Miami 2: Wrong Number!

Thanks for the ask @ooc-llorne !♥

[utameiday]

18: Do you believe in karma?

More or less. I don’t really think about it ‘til it happens, but I suppose that’s more of a light coping mechanism that’s there to give me reason for bad things to happen to me. It’s easier to accept such things if it’s because of karma, rather than spend what feels like an eternity to ponder on why and what ifs. Like lying to yourself, in a way?

Thanks for the ask @ganchinuaxiv ♥!

[utameiday]

"'ey man can you tune the guitar to an open A while I find the mandolin sheets." motherfucker is buying me new strings tomorrow.

[menganhlabathi]

#behindthescenes #behindthemonitor #gang #worksquad #uzalo #grateful (at Uzalo Studio Nandi Drive)

[13trains-blog]

(by frl. zucker)