I have beaten the third level of Super Hexagon, an incredibly difficult game whose easiest level is labelled "hard", and which only becomes harder from there.
This is....an actually momentous achievement. To give you an idea, I'm in the top 4% of all players who have downloaded this game.
I am NOT going to belittle this achievement: it was damned hard, and I'm literally happy I managed to do this.
Along the way, there's a bunch of things I've learned which I think are actually applicable to everyday life.
Behold; life advice from machines:
Sometimes, the most complicated and elaborate things are also the easiest.
Anger is never useful. Hate, on the other hand, can be.
Control is key; going too far in one direction, predicting a pattern too far in advance, can make you lose just as much as staring at a wall that's going to crush you.
Persistence is also key. I managed to beat this level by vowing (and tracking my doing so) to last, every day, one more second than the day before.
Do not question a lucky break, but immediately capitalize on it and keep going forward; otherwise, you'll lose.
When you're completely lost and have no idea what's happening, continue doing what you were doing before; it's your only chance of making it out alive.
Conversely, do not pause on your mistakes, but try to correct them immediately and go forward.
Praise can be as damaging as a slap to the head; whenever you make a record, the game will chirp "excellent" and I've lost count of how many losses were due to that momentary distraction.
Living in the future is the only way to survive in the present.
Even in the most high-stakes of situations, it is possible to be lazy. Furthermore, it often a good thing to do so.
Fucking around when you don't have to and setting arbitrary silly goals is a way to improve.
Success comes unexpectedly.
Success comes only when you've planned for it.
And now, I'll be off to try and beat the last level. Hopefully, I should be done in at least sixty days. One second at a time.
I can't wait to hear that endless shore.