Sorry if this is too personal of a question. You don't have to answer this if you don't want to. How did your adoptive parents tell you that you were adopted? What's it like growing up knowing that you're adopted?
Oh, interesting!
So I've known that I'm adopted for almost my entire life. I think I was around five or six when they told me? I'm very fortunate that I was adopted by a couple of pretty cool people, and that they wanted me to know my circumstances. I don't remember the details of how I was told... I recall something about Mom just casually mentioning it when we were in a rental truck or something? I was little though. I don't think I had any trouble accepting it.
I was born during a time when closed adoptions were the standard. Meaning that my biological mother and my adoptive parents had no contact. After I was born, and the adoption finalized, that was it. They never met, lawyers did all the work. I've had no contact with her in decades. And I'm absolutely fine with that? Again, my family is pretty cool. We have our differences, but they love me and I love them. I have never felt like I wasn't a part of this family.
Really, my only annoyance ever came from people asking me if I knew my 'real' family. And sure, I do. It's the couple that uprooted their entire lives so that I could be a part of theirs. I'm certainly grateful to my biological mother. But I wouldn't want for things to be different. Thanks to her decision I was blessed with a mother who first read me bedtime stories, then let me read her bedtime stories. I had a father who gave me a love for exciting stories, and who supported any creative endeavors I wanted to go for, even if he didn't always understand them. I had two loving grandparents, who were so very present in my earliest years, and so dear to me in later years. Aunts, uncles, cousins. My family is not large, no. But it's important. And it's mine.
I suppose on occasion growing up I had the wondering of, "What if my Birth Mom is actually an alien queen and I'm her heir and I'll get to go to space and be powerful and rich and save the galaxy" or whatever. But I imagine even children that aren't adopted have similar daydreams.
So, I don't think my upbringing was so very different. I know this isn't true for many adoptees. It's just my experience.
One recent thing though - A few weeks ago my mother was going through some old boxes in the garage, and came across a notepad of my father’s. The paper was yellowed by age, but the writing is still clear. It’s part of an adoption log he made. Includes some new details about my biological mother that I didn’t know, lawyer information, nurse info... all new to me. On the second page was a letter he wrote to mom. Around the time I was born he had a lot of questions and concerns. So he decided to take a flight to Atlanta and go speak with the lawyer in person. Mom gave me a photocopy.
Thank you so much for the ask! It was interesting, and not too personal at all for me!
