Today I learned about OCD-based hyper-responsibility and I don't want it.
I had looked up a responsibility based complex because I constantly struggle to relax when I'm out with friends. This is mainly because I constantly feel responsible for their well-being. The definition for hyper-responsibility is "the idea that you can and must manage things around you to prevent harm — even when those things are totally out of your control." I had to take a moment after that. This perfectly explains how I constantly feel whenever I leave my house.
It explains why I carry a backpack filled with items that most people don't usually have on hand in case of emergencies. It's also the reason why I have the count to make sure all my friends are still in the general area. And if one of them is missing I start to panic and imagine the worst.
I wasn't going anywhere really with this but if this helps someone else that's all that matters.
Definition taken from this article:
Many people with OCD feel responsibility more strongly, known as hyper-responsibility. If this is affecting you, support is available.