#being on camera

[nethervoice]

BECOMING MORE VISIBLE AND VULNERABLE

In my previous post “Finding a New Niche,” I started to outline my transition from being a full-time voice over and blogger, to someone searching for a different way to reach out to the world. Given my background and experience, the “big” idea was to focus on the Netherlands. I wrote: “I’ve made it my new mission to tell the world about the influence a small, flat country of 18 million people has…

BECOMING MORE VISIBLE AND VULNERABLE

[b-beams]

I hate having my picture taken. I think may be because I can't smile well on command? So my face always ends up looking really awkward on staged photos. I'm more okay when (someone I'm comfortable with) takes a photo while I'm interacting with someone and my focus doesn't have to be on the camera.

i feel this!! i struggle seeing myself in photos, although i’m a lot better being on camera having started making videos (it was a big thing to get over though to start with, but v. good for confidence now i’m more comfy with it!) - if it’s something you’d like to be more comfortable with, i found taking photos of myself to really help? 

it’s kind of desensitisation in a safe + controlled way to get used to it? seeing myself in pictures was an uncomfortable experience, so getting used to it in a way that i was initiating and practicing means i hide from the camera less if family or friends want to take photos + generally feel less bad about it! (i used to have a really bad time self-confidence wise, so building on that in a productive + healthy way has been pretty important and hard going)

i agree that candid photos are much easier! (i don’t really have people or situations where that really happens though) 

[b-beams]

im autistic and also have BDD and hate having my picture taken, i didnt mind at all when i was younger but since developing BDD i cant stand it, I also suffer with dissociation and depersonalisation which i think contributes to it a lot too, i think a camera can feel almost like a strange form of eye contact sometimes as well

thank you for adding!

sorry you’re dealing with those hard things, i hope things are going okay for you! <3 

@avoiding having your picture taken anon, another handy perspective for you (:

[b-beams]

Is it an autistic thing to not want your picture taken?

hmm, i’m not sure! i know that some allistic people don’t like having their picture taken so ofc it’s not exclusive to autistic people, but it could be an autistic thing for an autistic person?

some autistic people have a tricky relationship with their identity because of being autistic (like, it could be because of difficulty tuning in to your own feelings/emotions/body (alexythimia) so being unfamiliar with yourself, some autistic people are face-blind so there could be a physical not-recognising yourself, there are definitely other reasons that i just can’t think of!)

so if you avoided the camera because of things like that then it would be an autistic thing for you! 

It could also be a self-esteem thing, which could also be linked to being autistic if you were bullied for autistic traits, but i think you’d say that was caused by the bullying rather than placing the blame on being autistic - it’s not the fault of the person being bullied.

it really depends on your reason for not wanting to be on camera - i don’t feel i have enough knowledge to give a definitive answer, sorry, if anyone has any more explanations please chip in!!