hi.. sorry im a nerd (and by nerd i mean quite literally half blind like stu is in your fic!) but i was curious on if your planning to add that his depth perception is worse as he gets used to it? and personally my balance has gotten a lot worse on my left side and i get moments where i forget im blind and im suddenly extremely aware of it.. kinda like manual breathing.. so i was just curious if you're planning on adding small stuff like that in for the next kills :) the mask is so hard to see in when your blind in one eye talking from experience. and just to ramble a tiny bit more i have to hold onto people because i have horrid spacial awareness since i lost my eye.. theres been one too many times where i didnt see a car coming and my friends had to yank me backwards lol.. i think it'd be cute if stu instinctively held onto billy / other people. plus i feel like he'd make tons of jokes about it (i.e: "are you blind." "well yeah...") but thats all. - very ominous one-eyed anon
Hey thank you so much for these asks! Im gonna answer them both in one.
First of all thank you for sharing your experience! I mostly wrote Stu's situation based on info from a friend of mine who lost an eye so it's interesting to hear the differences. My friend didn't have phantom visual stimuli, but it totally makes sense that that could happen! I did write Stu having some phantom tactile sensations from his eye though:
This was something my friend had, but also something that came up in my research, it's similar to phantom limb pain.
Otherwise yes, most of Stu's initial recovery is in chapter two:
^This is right after he wakes up, when he's still in the hospital and hasn't really started physical therapy.
^this is later, when he's home and he's been doing his therapy for a while but its far from second nature. At this time he's going to the rehab center in the hospital very frequently.
He also has some temporary dyspraxia (trouble with hand coordination) initially as he recovers, which is why he's having trouble tying his shoes. This is more related to his brain injury, but from my research a lot of people who lost an eye or who have no vision in one eye also say that they feel their dyspraxia is worsened by the lack of visual input from one side.
^ there are some other small mentions of what he's dealing with, like having to re-do his drivers test because of the vision loss, stuff like that.
^ This is in chapter 6, which takes place 7 months after the initial injury when he's done a lot of recovery, though he's still doing physical therapy.
There will be some more discussion of his progress in the next chapter, knowing that he's got a kill coming up he starts working extra hard to train himself to compensate for the loss of depth perception and spatial awareness. He's a privilleged rich boy so he has access to the best physical therapy he can afford.
I assume you already know this given that you experience this but for anyone else it's a combination of behavioural training (like turning the whole head or body to catch the rest of the visual feild) and more sensory training like practicing reaching for objects or switching between focusing on things that are near and far to teach the brain a new way to process depth and distance signals. It's incredible how much the brain can adapt and adjust! Even so he's obviously not going to be back to where he was when he had two eyes.
In my research I also found out that loss of an eye can even be minorly helpful with stuff like shooting and archery because you no longer need to close one eye to focus, so his gun skills wont be affected after the dyspraxia is gone.
You bring up some other stuff I'll try to encorporate! Particularly the idea of forgetting you're blind momentarily, and the fact that it's a lot harder to see in the mask, that's a good thing to keep in mind. Ive read that some people can use fresnel prism lenses to somewhat increase the field of view from the remaining eye so Im considering having him add something like that behind the mask. Let me know what you think!
I do also want to add in some moments of Stu needing Billy's help like you mention. I think he'd avoid doing that as much as possible because he's definitely got a little internalized ableism going on, he doesn't want to need Billy's help because he's afraid it will make him less useful (it won't) and that's something I should make space to write about.
In terms of making jokes about it you're totally right, he will do that. Here's a moment of him joking about it with Tammy in chapter 2:
Will definitely try and find more opportunities for him to do that.
In terms of eyepatches, he has a negative initial reaction to the idea in chapter 8:
This is mostly because it's coming from his mom, who is deeply uncomfortable with his new appearance. In that moment an eyepatch seems like a way to cover up and make other people feel better.
Later on though yeah I think he'd come to see them as a fun accessory and he'd probably have a bunch. I also think he would glue a googly-eye to one of them, like one of these things:
Oh also, my understanding is that an ocular prosthesis like his has to be replaced around every 5 years depending on how much the face/eye socket shape changes with age, so it doesn't seem to last quite as long as yours.
I think that kind of answers everything you mentioned, at least I did my best! Thank you for this ask and all you shared, it's super helpful to hear varied experiences. I really want to write this in a way that feels more real and respectful, and I'm immensely grateful to you (and to my pal) for taking the time to give me that info.
If you ever have more to add/say feel free to send another ask!
