being chicano
I'm 20 years old, about to be 21.
I heard the word chicano when I was in 3rd grade.
In 3rd grade the chicano started taking a mainstream turn, akwid, kinto sol, and jae-p were rappers that people were talking about, dressing like and wanting to be like them.
Dickies, horizontal stripped shirts, white and back t-shirts, nike cortez's, and long black and white socks.
6th grade I became a gang memeber.
7th grade a drug dealer, use to carry nickle bags on me all the time and sell them to everyone even the danm teachers.
8th grade I was in and out of school all the time, I had respect, money, and just everything figured out.
November 27 of my 8th grade year I was targeted in a drive-by shooting. I survived scratch free...but my homie was dead 6 gunshots 3 to the chest area, 2 to the head, 1 to the heart.
He was only 17 years old, I was only 14.
I was forced to move. Forced to leave my barrio.
I moved to a very rural town in North Carolina, none of the other Chicanos here dressed like me, talked like me, they were different.
I didn't fully settled in until 2 years there. I changed. I didn't dress like a cholo no more. I was "different".
I graduated despite my bad grades.
I went into the manual labor work force at first, didn't want that.
I tried tattooing, but no luck.
I'm in community college now. I like it. It helps me set goals.
I think back on life right now, I wonder what would have happened if i had stayed in my barrio.
They say now the barrio isn't a barrio no more, everyone there use to be family.
now no one knows each other, no one talks.
all the younger Chicanos, are growing up into this "swagg" culture.
they won't know what its like cruising in a low-rider on Sundays after church to the park and having a cookout with the older homeboys, they won't know what its like playing them oldies and asking your crush to dance. they won't know what its like to come up with nicknames for themselves and their homeboys and home-girls. they wont know what Chicano even is.
sure there's bad things about growing up the barrio but there are so many good things.
Being chicano is having pride in being mexican, sticking to the influences of our heritage, protecting la raza, and keeping traditions alive.
I miss my homie carlos, he's dead because of me.
but he always told me "the raza and family comes first, protect the barrio, and always have your homeboy(girl)'s back."
I miss him everyday.
I'll stay chicano.
Siempre.