They tell me to change, and at first I refuse.
But refusal does not linger long on my lips.
I see identity, I see color.
I see visions and knowledge and terms that I have never heard of before.
I learn that I am privileged than my brethrens. But am I really?
I am confused because this is who I am, but I am this as well. But what if I am neither? Who am I then?
It was like this. Time was often like a speeding bullet train but the moments between time are sneakier. You never really know how much they affect you until you look back and see the years of injustices that you let happen. Before I knew it, I had fallen, and so I spend the rest of my life trying to convince myself that it is ok to feel this way. It is ok to not understand sometimes. It is ok to not know everything. It is ok to just be.
It is strange. There is so much that I do not know, yet only so much time that I can give. So I teach myself to choose my battles. To fight the ones important to me, my family, and my friends.
So I learn to pick myself up. Pick at the scabs of assimilation. Brush away years of doubt. Wipe away the tears of self pity.
I get up and wear my pink and purple and blue dupatta with pride.
Hi there! If you’re reading this, thank you so much for picking something up that probably doesn’t make a whole lotta sense. This is my very first time dedicating myself to such a massive personal goal, so if you stick around until the end, then, hey, thank you very much! I don’t know how to make things look cool on tumblr so hopefully, by the time these 30 days are over, my work and my postings will look more attractive. Regardless thank you to @desi-lgbt-fest for this wonderful opportunity to explore myself and my characters, and here’s to a successful pride month!