some of you said that you read that new story i wrote even though you don't know who the guys are, which is -- as Tyler would describe himself:
but in case you actually wanted to know who they were, i have made you a small primer. just the facts.
this is tyler seguin. when he first started in the NHL, he was playing in Boston, and he missed team breakfast and got scratched. (that means he wasn't allowed to play in the game.) as a context, the goalie for the penguins got his neck slit, needed five stitches, and came back to play in the game like seven minutes later. TYLER WASN'T ALLOWED TO PLAY AN ENTIRE GAME BECAUSE HE MISSED BREAKFAST.
tyler is like a pile of flaming banana peels.
like someone wanted to make caramelized bananas but they used too much sugar and too much alcohol and now it's on fire. it would probably taste pretty good if you could put it out, but in the meantime your entire kitchen is on fire.
anyway, so he played for boston, they won a cup, then he immediately got traded to dallas bc boston didn't like the way he celebrated by white girl dancing on top of tabletops.
if you really want to understand tyler, you should watch this video.
now he lives in dallas with his two dogs and his countless abs. in dallas he met jamie benn.
this is jamie. before he was drafted, he was called a kid to watch but not to draft.
jamie is like a bread box. best case scenario there's a loaf of bread in there, worst case it's empty except for the crumbs.
it's actually a beautiful story because he did get drafted and he got better and better and eventually became captain of the team and one of the best scorers in the league and got to play with canada at the olympics! THIS UNDERDOG!
this is tyler and jamie. when tyler got traded to dallas, jamie was like BUDDY and tyler was like BUDDY and now they are, as jamie described it, "the bestest of friends."
they play for the dallas stars. the dallas stars are like if the titantic was sinking and no one could get to the lifeboats because they were all already injured.
anywhere here's a picture where it looks like they are going to kiss!!!
tyler really really really likes using his tongue for anything but KEEPING IT INSIDE OF HIS MOUTH. jamie once tried to chirp someone on twitter for being the type of guy who likes to "mox bunch" (you know, box munch). OPPOSITES ATTRACT I GUESS.
this is from when tyler was being interviewed and SURPRISE HE WAS AT JAMIE'S house, like this interview was not planned for the two of them. also though it's from when they were both supposed to play for team canada for the world cup this year and then neither of them did because of injury which is fine i guess but did they think about how that would make me feel and also about the effect it would have on the team canada gsf fic that i ... did start writing.
this is the best video ever filmed.
this gifset is tyler and jamie from the story i wrote, now you have a visual, this has been a post, thank you!!!!!!!
