Benjamin Linus SFW Alphabet
This...got out of hand. I wanted to do something quick and easy, and it turned into a long-winded character writing exercise pretty fast. I hope at least someone enjoys it :)
I combined two SFW alphabets, this one and this one.
A note on Reader's gender: I use feminine pronouns and descriptors like "woman" and "wife" because that's the perspective I'm writing from, but most of this could probably also work with a non-woman. I just prefer to write from my own experience when it comes to gender, but I understand if anyone doesn't want to read it because of this.
CW: Stalking, controlling & possessive behavior, imbalance of power with an implied age gap (older man), generally unhealthy relationship dynamics that are only hot in fiction. Some implied/referenced child abuse and mentions of alcoholism (thank you, Roger Linus). Also, the "Smooches" section slightly pushes the bounds of "SFW," but it's nothing graphic.
Lmk if anyone would be interested in a NSFW version 😏 (ETA: NSFW version here!)
Affection (How do they show love?)
I say this with so much love, but Ben's vision of ideal romance never evolved from when he was about ten years old. He really does think flowers and jewelry and over-the-top compliments are the surest way to a woman's heart. Prepare to never have to pull out your own chair, hold a door or carry anything heavy ever again.
He's insecure, jealous and possessive. You know this. His "bigger" gestures of love are consequently going to be performative. Lots of PDA. He won't full-on make out with you in the middle of the town square, but he will hold you squeezed against him with his arm so tight around your waist that you feel like your circulation might get cut off. The chivalry is also dialed up to an absolutely insufferable degree. He will literally grab your water bottle and open it for you.
Just go ahead and let him show you off, because as insincere and cringey as he comes across with these public displays of obsession, he more than makes up for it with how sweet he can be in private. Once you're safely in your house, get ready for a barrage of cuddles, little forehead and cheek kisses, slow dancing in the kitchen while waiting for the oven timer to go off, and tons of small acts of service—and all for you this time, not for his ego... Okay, maybe a little bit for his ego.
He likes to sit on the front porch with you at night or in the early morning (the low light and the fact that your neighbors are all either drunk, sleeping or both helps him to feel less vulnerable). He'll put his arm around you and whisper sweet things in your ear while you cuddle against his shoulder.
When you take walks together, he always holds your hand.
I've heard others in the fandom compare him to a crow, and I second that. Congratulations, you have a shiny object collection now. You mention something that interests you? He researches the leading scholar on the subject and has their book shipped to you from the mainland.
You ARE the most beautiful woman in the world. No, literally. No, it's not a matter of opinion. Just try and debate him on this, I dare you.
Butterflies (How did they behave when they first fell in love? How did they confess their feelings?)
He "met" you through the Others' totally normal, not at all invasive and cultlike "recruitment" process. So he actually first saw you through one of Mikhail's screens, via Richard's secret camera. It was infatuation at first sight for him. Let's just say, of all the files on the pre-Island lives of the Others, yours is by far the thickest.
Ben didn't just get the cold, hard facts about your career and family and friends. He also made sure to find out your favorite foods, music, books, hobbies, as well as more personal things like fears, insecurities, dreams and desires, regrets...basically, all the information he could possibly need to manipulate control woo you. And he didn't just get this information from Richard, either. He actually traveled off-Island in order to stalk you more thoroughly before officially extending the invitation to the Island. He has no remorse for any of this, btw.
When the two of you actually met in person, he turned on the charm so high his charminator broke and got stuck at max strength. But at the same time, he was SO nervous and awkward. You remember him frantically wiping his sweaty palms on his pants before shaking your hand, and it probably should have grossed you out, but instead you found it kind of sweet and endearing. His awkwardness ended up working to his advantage—he could almost fool you into believing he was a normal guy with a heart of gold...
Your first date was a clichéd Picnic On The Beach, and Ben's hand shook as he poured the wine. You ended up losing track of time and staying there until well after dark, just talking and talking and talking, meanwhile your neighbors at the barracks grew increasingly worried (they 100% thought Ben had killed you). The whole time he was dying to kiss you, but too nervous to lean over and try. In the end he settled for holding you tightly against him as you lay looking up at the stars. When you eventually dozed off, he sneakily gave you a very quick, very light peck on the cheek.
Your second date was a movie night at his place, and of course he just "happened" to have all your favorites. ("What a coincidence! Great minds think alike" etc. Bastard.) You had your first kiss on his couch in the dark as the credits rolled. It quickly turned into a full makeout sesh, just like a couple of teenagers.
It took him forever to actually confess his feelings, but his actions toward you made it clear enough how he felt from the start. (Whether or not you noticed those "vibes" depends on how good you are at...noticing vibes.) In the end, it was a pretty unromantic love confession. It went a little like this: "So, have you been reading the new book club book? What do you think? Oh, by the way, [Name], I've been meaning to tell you that I'm deeply in love with you. I apologize for not letting you know sooner. Anyway, what should we do for dinner?"
Cuddle (Do they like to cuddle, and if so, how? How do they hold their partner/like to be held?)
Not only does Ben enjoy cuddling, he takes it very seriously.
He loves when you snuggle up to him on the couch after a long day, so close you're practically in his lap, and lay your head on his shoulder and just veg out there. You often ask him to talk just so you can lean against his chest and feel the vibrations of his voice. Even after you've been together for years and years, he still gets butterflies from that. He can't get enough of knowing he's the one you come to for comfort and warmth and affection. It's a nice ego boost and also quite healing for him after so many lonely years.
Many evenings are spent reading together while cuddled up, either reading your own separate books silently, or him reading out loud to you while stroking his free hand through your hair. Sometimes you fall asleep while he's reading, and when you wake up he pretends to be offended (or maybe he actually is offended, who really knows with Ben). Oh no, you missed a whole chapter of the book? Too bad, he's not telling you what happened, if you're so bored by the sound of his voice you can go ahead and read it yourself ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
He sort of has cute-aggression with you sometimes? You love being held by him, but you could do without the boa constrictor treatment.
He also secretly LOVES to be held and cuddled by you. In a vulnerable moment he'll lay with his head in your lap, or just curl up against you and let you hug him and rub his back. He doesn't have a ton of hair, but he likes when you run your hands through it. He also likes to listen to your heartbeat, and feels comforted by feeling your voice through your chest (just like you do with him). When he feels phantom pains from his traumatic surgery, you give him a back massage (you're far from a professional masseuse, but it's more about the thought behind the gesture).
Big spoon or little, he's happy either way. It depends on his mood.
Domestic (What is domestic life with them like? Do they take over chores?)
HUSBAND. MATERIAL.
(When it comes to domestic stuff, I mean. With other things...well, we'll get there.)
Have you SEEN how clean and organized his house is, not to mention beautifully decorated? Swoon.
His main love language is "acts of service," which means even more considering what a selfish person he is generally. Going out of his way to do something nice for you means deliberately going against his own nature, just because he loves you.
Soon after you started living together, you felt bad that Ben was doing all the chores, so one day while he was out committing some unspeakable cruelty or other, you deep cleaned the whole bungalow, and... He was actually offended. He didn't act ungrateful or rude or anything, but you could tell he was offended.
You sat down together and made a chart dividing up the housework, but he still likes to sneakily do your chores for you. By now you know to just let it go; clearly it's important to him, and come on, are you really going to complain about having landed yourself a man who not only voluntarily does housework but enjoys it?
Remember when the Others abandoned the barracks and were living nomadically in tents, and Ben still brought along half his personal library and set up a desk so he could do his nightly journaling? He's like clockwork when it comes to his routine, and if you're someone who really wants to have a strict, disciplined daily schedule but struggles with it because of ADHD (hello!) or any other reason, having Ben in your life is a game changer. You'll never again have to worry about forgetting to eat or drink, or take your meds, or go to bed on time. He will literally drag you away from your work and force you into the shower. Is it controlling? Yes, but on the other hand, you've never had a more productive period in your life.
Everything (You are my...)
Family. You're his family.
Feelings (When did they know they were in love?)
"The only way to gain a con man's respect is to con him." It would have to have been the first time you either outwitted him, or otherwise showed that you were an intellectual match for him. I think in Ben's eyes, cleverness and cunning and wit are the sexiest qualities a person can have. He gets bored easily, so it's important for him to have a partner who can constantly challenge him and make him exercise his brain. That's what takes him from a state of childish puppy-love to that all-consuming, drunk, yearning kind of love where he suddenly feels he can't see a happy future for himself unless you're at the center of it.
(The Homeric concept of "homophrosyne" is more or less how I would sum up what I think Ben would ideally want in a relationship. He has such a weird brain, and he needs someone who gets it at least enough to keep up with him, and is just like-minded enough that their brain doesn't short circuit when he says or does something completely out of pocket.)
Gestures (How do they express their love? What are their love languages?)
As I've said, his primary love language is performing acts of service, and he also enjoys physical touch. He also shows his love by making time in his busy schedule to spend with you, and by really making this time count.
Some sweet things he's been known to do for you:
Noticing you haven't eaten in hours, and making you something to eat and bringing it to you (or bringing water/tea/coffee if that's what he thinks you need)
Surprising you with flowers for no reason at all
Bringing you on a surprise outing to show you something he found on the Island that he knows you'll find interesting or beautiful
He has a very deliberate, purposeful way of conducting himself in your relationship. He really makes you feel that you are the most important thing in the world to him, at least in that moment.
As for which love language he likes his partner to have, quality time and words of affirmation would have to be the big ones. Kind of goes without saying why those things would mean a lot to him.
(Can you tell I literally googled "love languages" because the only one I could remember off the top of my head was acts of service)
Honesty (Do they have secrets they hide from their partner? How honest are they with their partner, even when it's hard?)
hahahahahaha................. (this is nervous laughter)
First, he's just a compulsive liar generally. He lies to your face about the dumbest, most insignificant things, and even he couldn't say exactly why he does it. ("Ben, have you seen Titanic?" "Yes, of course, many times." (Ben had not, in fact, ever seen Titanic.))
He's veeeeery slow to open up, and even then he barely opens up. You'll never be sure how much of his life he's shared with you (and of the things he has shared, which if any are true). You've more or less made your peace with the fact that he'll always know more about you than you know about him. He has occasional moments where he reflects on whether or not he really is doing the right thing by keeping you in the dark about so many things, but he always swings back to the conviction that yes, of course it's the right thing, anyway, where the heck are his glasses...
In some cases, you don't need to know all the gritty details in order to "get it." For example, Ben hasn't shared with you the full extent of his father's abuse, but you can sense it in the way he gets visibly anxious around drunk people, especially angry drunks, especially if they're men.
There are various reasons he keeps so many secrets from you—besides that lying is, as he says, "what he does." Having knowledge of certain things might put you in danger. Furthermore, there are countless skeletons in his closet (literal skeletons included) that he knows would at the very least disturb you, and at worst he fears you might stop loving him if you were to learn about all the horrible things he's done.
As the events of the show happen, you do end up learning about more of these skeletons, either from other people, from Ben himself when he felt he had no choice but to tell you, or just accidentally on your own. And come on, it's not like you didn't already know he was a manipulative bastard. That isn't exactly a secret—and it isn't much of a stretch from there to connect him with many of the bad things that have happened on the Island lately.
One rare thing he couldn't successfully lie to you about was Locke's death. When he told you what had become of "Jeremy Bentham," your heart sank and you somehow just knew. You didn't tell him you knew, but you knew.
As it happens, you don't end up losing your love for him because of this, which helps him to trust you more and to start being a little more open. Maybe as the years go on, he'll start to let you in on some of his schemes. Who knows, you may even find yourself scheming with him—and he'll find you're actually a valuable asset to his little regime, and wonder why he ever underestimated you in the past.
Injury (How would they react if you got hurt?)
If it's a minor injury (let's say you accidentally cut your finger while cooking) he jumps right into action, bandages you up, comforts you, talks to you to distract you from the pain, then once the excitement is over he jokingly kisses the hurt area and then gets down to scolding you for not being more careful.
If it's a major, life-threatening injury, he'd be a lot less suave. I can see him freezing and being completely useless for at least the first few minutes, just from the shock of seeing you in that state. In all honesty, your injury was most likely at least partially his fault, but even if it's not, he'll still feel guilty for his failure to protect you, and he might even assume you don't love him anymore because of this. He might actually turn and walk away from you in some weird fusion of the flight and freeze responses. Let's just hope there's someone else there who can take care of you until he snaps out of it.
He does eventually snap out of it, and comes back to comfort you and to help treat your wounds if he can. His fear temporarily mollifies and humbles him to where he's happy to take orders from Jack or whoever is doctoring you, and in the moment he doesn't mind letting himself be vulnerable and show his feelings (though he'll be highly embarrassed about this later). Holds your hand the whole time.
He's a lot more like his normal self after the initial treatment is over. He stays with you pretty much every second while you recover, makes sure you eat and drink enough, watches over you while you sleep, holds you when you cry, the works. Definitely makes up for the time he spent initially avoiding you out of shock.
Jealousy (Do they get jealous? How do they deal with it? How do they handle insecurity or attention?)
Does Ben get jealous?
...Is water wet? Is Locke bald?
This is probably his worst flaw when it comes to your relationship. He would never physically hurt you, but he's a sulker and a guilt-tripper. If he sees you talking to another man and you seem to be enjoying yourself the slightest bit, it wounds him to the core and he won't be able to look you in the eye for the rest of the day. And this probably goes without saying, but god help the man you were talking to.
Good luck making friends, btw, especially if you also like women.
Ben has this issue where, because he lies so often and so convincingly, he has trouble trusting that everyone else isn't lying to him as well. So it can't be as easy as you sitting down and explaining to him that he's your one and only, and that there's no way you could be seduced by someone else, because you don't want anyone else. It feels good for him to hear that, but he still can't make himself completely believe it. So in the end, you just have to both be patient while you gradually prove your loyalty to him. And it takes a lot of patience. He's never going to fully get over this jealous streak, but as the years go on he finds himself slowly learning to relax and be more trusting.
You know that age-old nugget of dating advice that you need to make a man feel "needed"? It's sexist and gender-essentialist, but when it comes to Ben it's actually true. Ask him to help you reach something on a high shelf and watch his chest puff up like a balloon. Wax poetic about how smart and powerful and handsome he is, and how lucky you are to be his woman, and how you'll follow him anywhere, all while planting adoring kisses all over his perpetually bruised face—he'll forget all about Joe NewRecruit who had the audacity to smile and wave at you earlier in the day.
Kindness (How do they show tenderness and care, especially on hard days?)
He's a little aloof. Unless you're openly crying, he probably won't notice on his own that you're feeling depressed. You'll have to swallow your pride and let him know you're having a hard day. Unfortunately he's also the king of unsolicited advice, so prepare for a lot of "You're depressed? Have you tried going outside and getting some exercise?" or "Are you sure you aren't just hungry? Here, let me make you a sandwich." You'll have to look him in the eye and tell him straight up that you need a long hug and nice words.
Early in your relationship, he hears that you're feeling down and he's kind of like, "...okay?" It's not that he doesn't care, he's just not sure what you want from him. He'd planned out your fairytale-like courtship so thoroughly that it probably never occurred to him that you might ever be upset while you're with him. At first he just does the same things he normally does when he wants to make you happy, like going out and picking some flowers, making your favorite comfort food, taking you down to the beach for a walk...and when those things don't have the desired effect, he just feels frustrated and inadequate. He's an active person by nature, so he never would have guessed that all you really needed was for him to put his arms around you and hold you as tight as possible.
The first time you ask him to hold you, he's a little awkward. He squeezes you a bit too tightly, and lets out a hesitant "...there, there..." When he feels you relax against him, he grows more confident. He rubs your back and combs his fingers through your hair, murmuring into your ear that everything will be all right, he's got you, you'll always be safe with him. He kisses your tears away and wipes your face with a cool washcloth.
On a typical day where your mood is better, he's much more natural with the TLC. His favorite view on the island isn't the ocean or a lush valley, but your beautiful face looking up at him as you lay in his lap. Sometimes after you massage his back and shoulders, he returns the favor. He loves to cook and bake for you; it's an easy way for him to literally be a "provider," which is important to him. It instantly gives him butterflies when he sees your face light up on tasting the dinner he made from scratch. He may be a bad guy, but he takes care of you.
Love (Who said "I love you" first? How often do they say it? Do they say it without words?)
Honestly, he doesn't say it out loud very often. From his perspective, he just doesn't need to—he does so much every day to show you that you're the love of his life, so why would he need to also say it? He thinks of the spoken phrase as being somehow less sincere than imparting his love through his actions.
He said it first, a few months into your time together, just as a way to clarify to you that you weren't just another Other to him, and that he saw your relationship as special. He said it in the same tone he might use to inform you that your shirt was inside out: "Oh, and by the way, [Name], I'm deeply in love with you." When you replied that you were also deeply in love with him, he said "Yes, I thought you might be, but it's still good to have it out in the open." And then you went back to discussing dinner plans.
There was a shift in the way he treated you after that. His displays of affection didn't come across as quite so schmaltzy and rehearsed as they had been in the early days when he still doubted your feelings for him and felt like he had to work hard in order to "make" you love him back. After you both said the L word, you could expect more easy, casual gestures. His arm rests across your shoulders like it was meant to be there, and he isn't afraid to kiss you more sloppily in a moment of passion. Everything he says and does feels less calculated when he's alone with you. This in turn helps you to feel safe with him, which lays a healthier foundation for your love to really flourish.
Memory (What is their favorite memory together?)
The day you arrived on the Island. He'll never forget the enraptured look on your face as you climbed out of the submarine and took in the towering green mountains for the first time. Then your hand in his as he greeted you and welcomed you to your new home. Your face broke out into a big, nervous smile, and butterflies swarmed in his stomach.
Part of their "initiation" is for new recruits to get a personal tour of the Island (that specific part of the Island, at least). Normally it falls on Richard to show the newbie around, but somehow Ben couldn't stand the thought of anyone else getting to be alone with you as you experienced such an important milestone. Besides, what better way to make you feel dependent on him, than to establish himself as your guiding mentor in this radically new chapter of your life?
He draws out the hike, savoring every moment, gazing adoringly at you as you explore the jungle with his supervision. You were so adventurous and curious, asking endless questions and hanging on his every word. He felt like some kind of scientist, observing you in your new environment, taking mental notes on your behavior, noting your sensory likes and dislikes, fears and repulsions, as well as the things that bring you joy and relief—all valuable information he could use to make you his.
The highlight of his afternoon had to be when he picked you a mango, assured you it was safe to eat, and watched your face light up as you took your first taste of Island fruit. It was at that moment he resolved that, no matter what it might take, he would never rest until you were his wife.
Nicknames (Do they call their partner nicknames/pet names? Which ones do they use?)
He's not much of a "pet names" guy. He prefers to just call you by your name, but occasionally a "honey" or "sweetheart" will slip out.
Open (How open are they with their partner? Do they share everything with them, or are they more reserved?)
Let's just say you didn't learn about his spinal tumor until the night before he went into surgery. ("Ben, do you want some of my dessert?" "No thanks, I have to fast before my tumor removal tomorrow." (crash) "WHAT") He figured you didn't absolutely need to know, and knowing would undoubtedly cause you stress and pain, so why bother you with it?
This is how he approaches most things with you. Do you 100% NEED to know this information? No? Then you never will. He's not lying to you, he tells himself. He's protecting you, of course.
As time passes, he starts feeling more comfortable showing his true feelings around you. This usually comes in the form of a guerrilla cuddle session, which he always tries to convince you was your idea. As stated above, he not-so-secretly loves being held by you. You cuddle him and rub his back and stroke his hair, almost in a babying way, and this helps a lot to calm him in moments of fear and despair.
Protection (How protective are they? How do they protect their partner/would like to be protected?)
How protective is Ben? Yes. Just yes.
We've already gone over how he hides a lot of his life from you. He never wants anyone to think they can torture you for information about him, and even if that weren't a concern, he doesn't want to cause you undue stress. But as events spiral on the Island, it becomes clear to him that shielding you from the tough realities of his world isn't really an option anymore. Instead, he empowers you with the truth (or his truth, at least).
In times of danger, he won't let you out of his sight for a second (sadly one of many lessons he learned from Alex). If he can get ahold of a bulletproof vest for you, he will. You have a gun and, thanks to him, you know how to use it.
In safer periods on the Island, he can relax a little with you, but he still keeps an eye out for dangerous wildlife when you're in the jungle together (not to mention the smoke monster—does he count as "wildlife"?). Under no circumstances are you to go past the security fence by yourself. You're not even allowed to know the code.
Off-island, he has his trusted guards watching over the two of you 24/7. In crowded spaces, you feel his hand on your back, sometimes snaking around your waist to steer you closer to him. At night, he holds your hand tightly enough to crack your knuckles. Nothing scares him more than the possibility of Widmore sending another Keamy to execute you just like Alex.
He doesn't need the same kind of protection from you, but that doesn't mean you're not willing to offer it. You've been known to throw yourself between Ben and someone preparing to beat him senseless. You're always defending him to his detractors, even when you know in your heart that they're correct. You will never, ever betray him, even under torture.
Quiet (How are they during quiet moments with their partner? Is it a peaceful silence, or do they make it awkward somehow?)
When he can manage to settle down and actually be quiet, those moments are heavenly. It's usually at night, when the rest of the community is either in bed or winding down. You and Ben sit together on your front porch, where the only sounds are the rustling trees, crickets (? or tropical equivalent, idk), and the swish of your hands rubbing soothingly against each other's clothes.
Once in a blue moon, you catch him taking a nap on the couch. It's the sweetest sight you could imagine. You either cover him up with a blanket or, more often, carefully climb in and join him. His sleeping face looks so peaceful, dare I say almost innocent, and you love to just caress it, studying every inch of him, until you fall asleep on his chest.
You spend a lot of time reading side by side, or working at your respective desks for hours at a time, completely silent except for one of you occasionally asking the other if they want some coffee or a snack.
Sometimes he accidentally makes things weird with a sudden comment, but you don't really mind. You love him for who he is, and who he is is...chatty.
Romance (How do they keep the romance alive in the relationship? Big gestures or small surprises?)
You live in a very romantic place, so that helps. Lots of sunset walks along the beach, early morning walks in the jungle followed by a breakfast picnic, and just exploring together. The Island is full of surprises, and despite having lived there for decades, Ben is somehow still finding areas that he's never seen before. Knowing your curious nature, he always has to find you and bring you back to show you what he found (provided it's safe).
You always have fresh flowers on your desk and next to your side of the bed. Gifts arrive from the mainland that he ordered for you. He tells you he loves you without words by doing little services for you, like folding your laundry, or baking a cake for no reason.
One uniquely "Ben" thing he does, which unbeknownst to him is also his most romantic habit in your opinion, is the way he just stares at you. Let's say you're doing the dishes while he's sitting at his desk, ostensibly working. You'll feel his infamously intense eyes on you, and look up to see him giving you the most heart-wrenching, yearning, lovesick look you've ever seen. From his almost grief-stricken expression, you'd think there was an entire ocean between you two, instead of just a living room. You know he's terrified of losing you, either to a younger, hotter, less fucked-up man, or to your grave. So you drop everything and climb into his lap and kiss him passionately, reassuring him that you're here to stay, forever, and that nothing in the universe could ever interfere with your love for him.
Smooches (What are their kisses like? Where do they kiss their partner? Where do they like to be kissed?)
Is Ben a good kisser? ...Maybe? But that might not be the right question to ask.
He was dying to kiss you from the moment he first laid eyes on you. You caught him staring at your lips many times, but always told yourself you were just imagining it (wishful thinking, you know). When he finally leaned over and laid one on you, you were so shocked and elated that the last thing on your mind was evaluating his technique. It was Ben, and he was kissing you, and that's all that mattered. He started by sweetly cupping your face like a gentleman, and in between chaste little kisses he would stop and gaze into your eyes for a moment, as if he couldn't believe it was actually you he was kissing. As the kiss went on and you both gained confidence, he grew rougher and sloppier, pulling you into his lap and grasping at your waist and hips.
He doesn't do like, "medium-intensity" kisses. Ever. You're either getting a cute little peck, or a rough, hot, messy, impassioned, marathon makeout session. (I know this might be pushing the boundaries of "SFW" but) Where he likes to kiss you depends on your body and its "preferences," if you know what I mean...basically, he likes to get a reaction from you. But on a more PG-rated note, he also likes to lift your hand and kiss you on the knuckles like a fairy tale prince (lol, as if), and when he's feeling extra romantic, he kisses your palms and inner wrist.
He loves having his jaw and ears kissed, as well as his neck, collarbone and shoulders. One time you kissed and caressed the scar on his upper chest from when Rousseau shot him with that arrow, and since then you have an unspoken ritual where you kiss each other's scars before doing anything...well, anything NSFW.
Talking (What do they like to talk about?)
Ben likes to talk, period. No sooner has he opened his eyes in the morning than he's chatting away about whatever happens to be on his mind at the moment, whether it be serious plans for the Island, or how he's thinking about maybe starting to wear a tie more often. (Whether or not you're turning these monologues into dialogues depends on how much of a morning person you are.)
The short answer is, he can talk about anything. He's very well read and has an impressive memory. He also has a deeply curious nature and easily finds himself falling into new areas of interest. He'll be happy to tell you all about black holes, or Genghis Kahn, or the history of bananas—whatever he's been reading about lately. Be warned, this is usually a one-sided conversation, more like a lecture. If the topic happens to also be one of your interests, it's going to get more than a little mansplainey. For some reason, despite all the truly terrible things he does, this relatively small thing is the one that's most likely to cause you to actually snap and get angry at him.
But don't worry, you have your normal conversations too. Over dinner, you tell him all about your day, and he tells you a...version of his work day (which may or may not be "edited" depending on what exactly his "work" that day entailed). He's a shameless gossip and drags you right down to his level, and in the end you'll spend up to an hour dishing about Ethan's hopeless crush on that poor pregnant girl from the plane crash, or placing bets on how long it'll take before Juliet completely loses her shit with Adam and punches him in the face. These talks only get livelier when Alex is in the picture, with her refreshingly naïve teenage perspective.
Speaking of Alex, there was a time when you could almost always count on hearing both her and Ben's voices playing verbal ping pong across the house, mostly bickering in the typical father-daughter way. Some of your fondest memories are of eavesdropping on their homeschooling sessions, and sometimes joining in to help Alex study. Those lessons really brought out the best in both of them, in your opinion. Your house will never be the same without Alex's voice ringing through it, and Ben's tangents will never be quite the same without Alex interjecting with the odd sarcastic comment. He's just quieter without her, and he always will be.
Understanding (How well do they know their partner? How important is it to them?)
He tends to conflate "knowing" and "understanding." He knows every last thing about you, probably including things you don't know about yourself. He has this creepy habit of referencing events in your life that happened long before he knew you (and that you don't remember telling him about), apparently without a shred of self-awareness. For example, when you first moved into the barracks, you found that Ben had stocked your bathroom with all the specific products you use in your personal hygiene routine. Your preferred brand of shampoo is there, all your skincare stuff, your makeup if you wear makeup... When you asked him how he could possibly know which toothpaste you use, he gave a smug little shrug and was just like "oh, lucky guess I suppose. Want to see the laundry room?"
There's definitely a power imbalance present in the fact that you know so little about Ben's past compared to what he knows about you. It's probably the biggest recurring problem in your relationship. But one strangely positive side effect is that when you do learn something personal about him, it's because he freely chose to share that information as an expression of his trust in you.
One December 19th, a couple years after your move to the Island, you were preparing a celebratory birthday breakfast for Ben when he appeared spookily behind you and said "Follow me, I need to show you something." The thing he wanted to show you was the doll Annie made for him. He told you all about his childhood friend and how she disappeared from his life at exactly the time when he needed her friendship more than ever. You ended up having a long conversation wherein you bonded over lost friendships and conflicting feelings about your respective childhoods. It was the most voluntarily vulnerable you'd ever seen him at that point, and it remains one of your most precious memories.
Anyway, back to the question at hand. Ben's major journey with your relationship is all about learning the difference between knowing things about his partner, and actually understanding them as a person. Much of this learning actually comes from observing how you behave toward him. You didn't have a Richard or a Mikhail of your own to spy on Ben for you and provide you with extensive documentation of all the intimate details of his life story, yet you came to know him so well as to be able to anticipate his needs and understand his feelings without him ever having to say a word.
A significant turning point for him was when you attended a house party where a man had one too many Dharma beers and started getting loud and sloppy. Something set him off and he got angry at no one in particular and began shouting and swearing. You felt Ben's body tense next to you, and you looked over to see him frozen. So you faked a migraine in order to give him an excuse to leave the party without risking damage to his image as their strong, fearless leader.
That incident made something click for Ben: He had been treating you like an encyclopedia, learning and memorizing cold, hard facts about your life in order to manipulate you. But you treated him like a field work assignment, observing him in his native environment and drawing hypotheses based on his actions and reactions. He hadn't told you about his father's alcoholism and abuse, but you didn't need to know that in order to notice that angry drunk men made him extremely nervous. How did you do that?
It's not that Ben doesn't experience empathy; he clearly does. But he chooses to use it for cruelty, and you don't. It makes him wonder if things might have been better had he skipped the pre-recruitment "research" and just gotten to know you organically.
Don't misunderstand me—he's not going to significantly change his ways because of this. You couldn't "fix" him if you wanted to. But what does happen is he gains a newfound respect and appreciation for you that only deepens his love for you.
Vision (What is their vision of your shared future? Will you buy a house and grow old together?)
As a kid, Ben had that photo of his parents on a picnic, and he created a sort of personal mythology around it which ended up informing his vision of his ideal relationship. We're talking marriage, babies, white picket fence, and of course, family picnics. But like most of us, he found himself having to adjust those dreams or set them aside as unexpected life events transpired. He became a father in a...well, unconventional way. He met the love of his life (you) in an almost equally strange way. Other families have to worry about taxes and mortgages; you and Ben are more concerned with giant smoke monsters and accidental time travel. He'll simply never be able to have that idealized suburban life he always dreamed of, and he's finally mostly made his peace with that (circa end of the show).
He realized it wasn't really the white picket fence he had been craving, it was the peace and stability that the fence represents. After Hurley takes over on the Island and your little group of misfits settles into your new, weird life together, Ben starts to form a new vision of his ideal future with you. The Island is a safer, kinder place thanks to Hurley, so Ben no longer feels the need to micromanage your every move out of fear for your safety. Outside of a leadership role (and no longer aspiring to leadership either), he finds himself suddenly free to relax, to be himself, enjoy working with his new colleagues (friends?), restore trust with the Island he loves, atone atone atone, and learn to really be a true partner to you.
So what's his vision for you two, currently? Now that you have true freedom and can be spontaneous...the sky's the limit. You have so many years left—literally, as many hundreds of years as you want—so who's to say anything is out of the question? The only thing he knows for sure is that whatever he does in the future, he wants you by his side.
Wedding (When, where, and how do they propose?)
(See "Memory" above)
It was the one-year anniversary of your arrival on the Island. Ben took you back to the same spot where he fed you your first Island mango. This time, he handed you a mango that had been hollowed out like a Jack O Lantern. Inside was a ring box. He took it out, knelt before you and proposed with an extremely sappy speech all about how this was the place where he sensed the Island falling in love with you, just like he fell in love with you...idk, it was something like that. It was embarrassingly sappy, but who cares? YOU'RE ENGAAAAAAGED, BABY!
Headcanon time: Tom Friendly is an ordained minister (like, one of those internet certificates?). Somehow it just suits him, doesn't it? Anyway, he marries the two of you in the gazebo at the barracks, in the most simple yet beautiful ceremony you could have ever dreamed of.
(Oh, and the ring is OBNOXIOUSLY huge. Just in case some young Casanova were to see it and mistake it for anything other than an engagement ring, and Ben's ring specifically.)
XOXO (How affectionate are they? In public/in private?)
VERY affectionate both publicly and privately, but in different ways. I've talked about this in other sections—in public his goal is very much to show you off and demonstrate his possessiveness of you in order to scare away potential suitors who might want to try and steal you. We're not talking public makeout sessions or anything juvenile like that, but he'll hold onto you and talk to and about you in a way that is very obviously calculated to communicate an air of dominance. Your neighbors have been known to make sarcastic comments, some more good-natured than others. Your personal favorite was when Juliet suggested that Ben just go ahead and pee on you if he needed to mark his territory that badly.
In private, he's much softer and more genuine. He never handles you roughly without your consent. He'll come up behind you, put his arms around you and give you a huge, wet kiss on the cheek, then turn you around and pull you in to kiss you on the mouth. He likes to hold your hand across the dinner table while you talk. In a really good mood, he straight up flirts with you like you're both in high school. If he's feeling depressed or worried, or just tired, he prefers a good old fashioned, lazy cuddling session on the couch.
Yearning (How well do they cope when they're separated from their partner? Who misses the other the most?)
Ngl, it's pretty much as rough as it can be for both of you. The first time you were ever separated from each other for more than a few hours was when Ben pulled his "Henry Gale" stunt and ended up locked underground for over a week on the opposite side of the Island. The worst part of it for you was that he'd kept you in the dark about almost every aspect of the plan. All you knew was that the capture was intentional, and that it was supposedly all for some very important greater good. Tom, Juliet and the others kept reassuring you that Ben knew what he was doing and insisting that you didn't need to worry about him, but every time they repeated this they sounded just a bit less confident.
That week was a nightmare. You barely slept, stopped taking care of yourself, and when you weren't crying you were wandering around like a zombie, completely numb to your surroundings. Your one small comfort was wearing Ben's shirts, smelling them and imagining you were feeling his warmth underneath the fabric.
Of course, Ben wasn't having a great time that week either. He had been so damn confident about his plan that he hadn't taken time to consider how much you would miss him, let alone how much he would miss you. He felt a slight twinge of guilt while Sayid was beating him that first day, anticipating how much it would scare you to see his yellowish-bluish mess of a face when he returned. However, he never would have guessed just how much his absence would affect you. You ended up having to sit him down for a serious talk once all that was over, and make him promise to never keep you in the dark like that again, ever. And...yeah, from what we've gone over in some of the previous sections, you can guess how well he kept that promise...
You were separated again on the Ajira flight, when you were inexplicably yanked back in time to the 70s while Ben stayed in the present. The D.I. assigned you the role of Teacher, which meant you had the absolutely surreal task of grading your twelve-year-old future husband's book reports and suffering through a parent-teacher conference with your father in law. When you saw tiny little Ben getting carried to the infirmary with a hole in his chest, you were rocked with terror like you had never felt in your life. Even after Richard assured you he would live, you never stopped feeling that pit of fear in your stomach until you finally laid eyes on the real Ben—I mean, your Ben—grown up Ben—and felt his arms around you again.
Ben, as you know, was going through it even worse at that time. He'd actually come to believe you were dead—after all, if Jacob would sacrifice Alex, what was stopping him from sacrificing you as well? Ben had taken you back to the Island with him, which led to your "death." Yet again, he'd chosen that damn Island over someone he loved, and paid the price. If he hadn't run smack into you during the emergency evacuation of the Temple—literally collided with you and knocked you over—he would have assumed you were an apparition, like his mother had been all those years ago.
It wasn't lost on you that you had last seen little Ben going into the Temple, and now here you were reuniting with "big Ben" inside that same Temple. You never told him about meeting him as a kid, or meeting his father. You were sure it would only disturb him. With all the secrets he'd kept from you over the years, you felt that this one only made you the tiniest bit even.
Zzz (What are their sleep habits like as a couple? Do they cuddle, sprawl, fall asleep mid-conversation?)
Hear me out—if he can throw Sawyer across that cage, he can pick your sleepy self up off the couch and carry you to the bedroom. If he's feeling extra lovey dovey, he tucks you in and kisses you good night. If it's late, he'll climb right in behind you and spoon you, but if he's not ready to go to bed yet, he'll just leave the bedroom door open while he continues to work a little longer.
Ben is equally content as big spoon or little spoon. He also likes lying flat on his back and having you curl up against his side or sleep with your head on his chest. As we see a couple times in the show, he's a pretty "compact" sleeper (i.e. not a sprawler), which makes him a good person to share a bed with. He's a very light sleeper, though. If you get up for a glass of water or to pee, he's now up as well. He doesn't even mind; he can function on startlingly little sleep.
As long as you've known Ben, he's had frequent and harrowing nightmares. You don't know what they're about, and you don't need to know. You gently shake him awake (if he hasn't woken up already), then you rub his chest and stomach and arms to help him calm down. It's hard to talk him through it when you don't know what he was dreaming about, but he usually seems to get some comfort from your touch and the sound of your voice.
After various...events, you started to suffer from nightmares as well. You'll wake up in hysterics, with Ben somehow already holding you and murmuring in your ear, reminding you that it was just a dream, you're all right now, he's got you and he won't let anything happen to you ever again. He doesn't seem to realize that most of your nightmares involve you being forced to watch as horrible things happen to him.
I'll leave you with something less bleak: Ben is a morning person. A very early morning person. We're talking 4:30 at the latest. If you're also an extreme morning person, you get up with him and eat breakfast together. If you're more of a conventional morning person (getting up between about 6-8), he makes your breakfast for you and keeps it hot until you're ready for it. If you're a late sleeper, he brings you your coffee and leaves it by the bed for you (with a lid to keep it hot), but sorry, you're on your own for breakfast.
(Thank you for reading 🥰)
