Edith: Hey there! You’re starting to waddle like a duck.
Gemma: (dryly) Thanks for noticing.
Edith: You’re welcome. This here is Brad, Brad Taggart.
B’zad: I’m pleased to meet you, Gemma.
Gemma: The pleasure is all mine.
Edith: He’s the guy I lost my V-card to in the barn.
Gemma’s mouth opened, and her eyes grew big.
Edith: Shut your mouth before you suck down a fly. I was wrong about the alien stuff. We were both tripping, and I might have hallucinated a bit.
Gemma: (slowly) Okay.
Edith: He came back to town to find me. I guess I’m unforgettable.
Edith cackled while B’zad smiled at her like she hung the moon.
Gemma looked from one to another. Did Brad know how crazy Edith was? Was he crazy, too? Was he who he said he was? Was Edith being conned?
Edith: (loudly) Listen here, everyone! I have an announcement to make! Brad and I are getting hitched!
The room broke out in a discordant mixture of congratulations and annoyed seniors who had counted on winning the betting pool.
Gemma: (stunned) You-- You are-- You’re getting married? When?
Edith: Just as soon as we can sort out the living arrangements.
Gemma: That soon?
Edith: I’m seventy-three for chrissakes. You expect me to have a long engagement? And look who’s talking, Miss Married-Markus-months-after-meeting-him.
Gemma: Touché.
Edith: (to B’zad) Hold on. I need to have a girl talk with Gremma.
Edith grabbed Gemma’s arm with surprising strength and led Gemma down the hall.
Gemma: That is one helluva grip, Edith.
Edith: It comes from giving hand jobs. I can’t give head anymore because my false teeth would fall out. And I like my teeth in when I’m getting laid.
Gemma: Oh my gods! I did not need to know that.
Edith sniffed disdainfully and shook her head.
Edith: You’re such a puritan. How you landed a hot-blooded man like Markus, I’ll never know.
Gemma: I am not a puritan! We have a very adventurous sex life.
Edith: (dismissively) If you say so, honey. Listen, Brad wants to find the kid to check on him.
Gemma: The baby you gave up for adoption?
Edith: Yeah. Not right away. We gotta figure out our living arrangements first. But soon.
Gemma didn’t need one more thing on her plate, but she didn’t want to let her friend down. Plus, as Edith said, she was seventy-three. Alfred lost his son at too young of an age and missed the opportunity to meet his granddaughter.
Gemma: Of course. Just say the word, and I’ll do everything that I can.
Edith: You’re a good friend, Gemma.
Gemma: Does the engagement mean you’ll stop sending me AI nudes? And you’ll stop writing reverse harem romances featuring you, Oscar, Ivan, and Wyatt.
Edith scoffed and rolled her eyes.
Edith As if! I’m trying out a new genre called Omegaverse and just wrote my first knotting scene.