2019 has just begun, yet I'm starting to feel all sorts of pressure about almost everything in life. Just when I thought that it's gonna be a stress-free year, I guess it's more likely to be the other way around. Yesterday, I had this rare convo with my parents and I was asked about my plans for this year (refering to my career specifically) and honestly, I wasn’t too prepared for that question. It’s something I really did not expect from them and the fact that I was being asked about it right on the very first day of the year, it felt unusual and really caught me off guard. I found myself unable to speak and that I had to think for a moment, but I just couldn’t seem to find the right words to say. I started to feel the pressure slowly building up within me, then it hit me - my dad will be retiring from work in a few months and bills just keep piling up. Apparently, this means that soon I’d have to take care of everything and will eventually become the sole breadwinner of the family. Not too sure tho if I'm ready to handle such huge responsibility but I have to prepare myself and do it no matter what cos it's for my family anyway. It's just a bit unfortunate though that working in my homeland cannot sustain all our expenses and that I've got no choice but to find my luck somewhere else. Just the thought of having to find a new job abroad and move somewhere far away from home makes me feel extremely exhausted. I don't even know how and where to start. I know how hard it is to find a decent job overseas nowadays due to the fact that there's a very tight competition in the market and limited opportunities available. But I guess, it's just a matter of believing in oneself, strong will and perseverance that will surely take you places.
Srsly, I wanted to take things one at a time but I feel like I've had to get everything done the soonest possible. The fact that I only have very little time (since I had to set a deadline for myself) to sort things out is extremely tiring and draining indeed. It feels like I've got the weight of the whole world on my shoulders. I can't even imagine how am I supposed to make all these things happen in just a span of 3-4 months, but I just can't wait here and do nothing. I have to do something and help myself get through all of this. I guess this calls for another incredibly rough and challenging year, but I'm definitely up for it. Thus, I am placing 2019 in God's hands cos I know everything is possible through Him. 🙏🏻
P.S. Gonna work on a few other goals am trying to set myself up to achieve this year. Hoping to make all these things happen and that I get to tick them off the list by the end of the year. All the best for 2019! Aja! 💪🏻
A blessed and prosperous year to all! ✨
"Surely Your goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life." -Psalm 23
