Sole Wanderer

A traveller by heart | Pursuer of dreams

[staff]

tumblr tuesday: stranger things ship art

Wow, ok, so the levels of gay pining we’re seeing in all your Stranger Things posts is really giving us something to come to work for. Here’s some of that gay pining in art form: whether you’re shipping Ronance, Steddie, or Harringrove, there’s fanart for that on Tumblr.

Ronance by @faunshii​:

Harringrove by @hanighul​:

Steddie by @peitho-is-here​:

The library scene by @robiinbuckley​:

Harringrove by @saberghatz​:

Just these two by @kushusk​:

Small girlfriends performing girlfriendism by @irlplasticlamb​:

Steddie kissies by @mmmo0n​:

Ronance date night by @vaderda1a​:

The eventual nerdification of Steve by @krasnyel​:

The whole gay group by @azulsejos​:

[thesolewanderer]

I still wonder about you, a lot more than I should, and a lot more than I reveal. After all we’ve been through, it’s hard for me to reach out to you because I know—the whole world knows—that we will never be what I wanted us to be. Still, I wonder about you.

I wonder if you remember all the details of the first time you told me you had feelings for me, and how happy I was. When I thought all my prayers were being answered through you, that you were finally here to rescue me from all those failed relationships and meaningless flings.

I wonder if you still listen to that song I told you about, and if you think of me every time it comes on, and I wonder how it makes you feel.

I wonder if Adele makes you think of me.

I wonder if you miss talking to me after a long, hard day at work, and if you still think I can make you smile when you are tired.

I wonder if you know that I enjoyed every moment with you more than I enjoyed my entire life.

I wonder if you think of me as someone who is so close yet so far away.

I wonder if you are aware that so many words were left unsaid between us, and I wonder if you are curious to find out what they were.

I wonder if you read what I write, and I wonder if you smile when you read between the lines.

I wonder if I made it hard for you to sleep at night.

I wonder if you figured out that I needed to love myself the way I loved you, and that I needed to see myself the way I saw you.

I wonder if you like who I am becoming and I wonder if you will ever try to find out why I disappeared.

I wonder if you knew how far I was willing to go to make you happy.

I wonder if you worry that I might have met someone else.

I wonder if you met someone else yourself, and I wonder if she will ever look at you the way I did, and if she will listen to you even when you are quiet. You were always quiet.

I wonder if you are still having issues with your dad, and I wonder if there is someone there to reassure you that you are doing just fine and that you need to stop being so hard on yourself. You were always so hard on yourself.

I wonder if you still tell bad jokes, and if you miss the way I laughed at them, or if you miss my “obnoxious but lovable” laugh.

I wonder what comes to your mind when you hear my name and if it still means anything to you.

I wonder even though there is no point in wondering.

I wonder even though I know we are not right for each other.

I wonder because deep down inside, I know you wonder too.

[thesolewanderer]

Note to self 🙏🏻

[thesolewanderer]

2019 has just begun, yet I'm starting to feel all sorts of pressure about almost everything in life. Just when I thought that it's gonna be a stress-free year, I guess it's more likely to be the other way around. Yesterday, I had this rare convo with my parents and I was asked about my plans for this year (refering to my career specifically) and honestly, I wasn’t too prepared for that question. It’s something I really did not expect from them and the fact that I was being asked about it right on the very first day of the year, it felt unusual and really caught me off guard. I found myself unable to speak and that I had to think for a moment, but I just couldn’t seem to find the right words to say. I started to feel the pressure slowly building up within me, then it hit me - my dad will be retiring from work in a few months and bills just keep piling up. Apparently, this means that soon I’d have to take care of everything and will eventually become the sole breadwinner of the family. Not too sure tho if I'm ready to handle such huge responsibility but I have to prepare myself and do it no matter what cos it's for my family anyway. It's just a bit unfortunate though that working in my homeland cannot sustain all our expenses and that I've got no choice but to find my luck somewhere else. Just the thought of having to find a new job abroad and move somewhere far away from home makes me feel extremely exhausted. I don't even know how and where to start. I know how hard it is to find a decent job overseas nowadays due to the fact that there's a very tight competition in the market and limited opportunities available. But I guess, it's just a matter of believing in oneself, strong will and perseverance that will surely take you places.

Srsly, I wanted to take things one at a time but I feel like I've had to get everything done the soonest possible. The fact that I only have very little time (since I had to set a deadline for myself) to sort things out is extremely tiring and draining indeed. It feels like I've got the weight of the whole world on my shoulders. I can't even imagine how am I supposed to make all these things happen in just a span of 3-4 months, but I just can't wait here and do nothing. I have to do something and help myself get through all of this. I guess this calls for another incredibly rough and challenging year, but I'm definitely up for it. Thus, I am placing 2019 in God's hands cos I know everything is possible through Him. 🙏🏻

P.S. Gonna work on a few other goals am trying to set myself up to achieve this year. Hoping to make all these things happen and that I get to tick them off the list by the end of the year. All the best for 2019! Aja! 💪🏻

A blessed and prosperous year to all! ✨

"Surely Your goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life." -Psalm 23

[thesolewanderer]

Wrapping up 2018 with my annual best nine. This has been quite an extremely rough yet amazing year filled with adventures, challenges and some unexpected bumps along the way. Yet, I’m thrilled and grateful that I managed to get through another year. And for that I’ll say... Thank you, next. 💖 #2018bestnine

[thesolewanderer]

12.10.18 | Specs-free

I just had the most life changing experience after having my lasik eye surgery done at Shinagawa. Still overwhelmed by the fact that I can see everything so perfectly clear and am literally in awe of the result. It just feels surreal to finally be able to see the world crystal clear again as I seem to have forgotten the feeling of having a normal vision. It feels amazing to wake up and see everything a lot clearer than before without putting my glasses on, which is something I never thought would happen one day. It’s been one hell of a struggle not being able to see clearly and recognize faces from afar that I had to wear prescription glasses all the time since my eyes got pretty much dependent on it. I never opted to wear contacts cos it’s way too much of a hassle that I’d rather have my specs on for convenience. When I learned about Lasik, there was this little hope sprung within me. At first, I was coupled with the fear of having long term post-surgery effects but the thought of being able to get rid of this blury vision excites me more. Had to watch vlogs and read some reviews to have an overview of how the surgery will be like. Took me a couple of months to finally do it as I had to prepare myself physically, emotionally and financially, and I am just sooo happy that I made one of the best decisions in my life. After undergoing a comprehensive eye screening last month, I have been cleared for lasik and decided to have my surgery done after my Cambodia trip. The surgery itself only lasted for about 10-15 mins. Yes, it was that fast and I am sooo amazed! I was actually hoping to do just the Z-lasik but the screening results did not qualify me for such procedure. They had to perform an Ultra lasik surgery which is recommended for extreme cases such as having a higher degree of astigmatism. It was a quick and painless procedure although there was a slight discomfort during the suction part but it’s tolerable. I felt the effect instantly as my eyes started to clear up gradually a day after the surgery. I now have an HD vision which is even better than the normal 20/20. I literally cried out of joy and pain (just because tears won’t stop falling when the anaesthesia started to wear off few hours after the surgery). The first 3 hours after surgery was hell though. I could barely open my eyes cos my eyelids were too heavy and tears were nonstop. Had to keep my eyes closed during the entire ride back home cos it was just too painful and my vision was kinda hazy. But overall, I would say it’s worth it.

I couldn’t be more grateful to Shinagawa esp. to Dr. Dinglasan and his team for taking care of me during the whole procedure. To the doctors, nurses and the very accommodating staff of Shinagawa Makati, thank you for making this possible and saving me from this world of blur. I'm now totally specs-free and it just feels great to have my crystal clear vision back after almost a decade of living with poor eyesight. I can finally ditch my glasses and enjoy clarity of a lifetime. Here’s to brighter days ahead! ✨

[thesolewanderer]

Just some random thoughts on a rainy day

[thesolewanderer]

Stand still and just remember to keep breathing. Trust His timing and I swear, it will be worth the wait 🙏🏻

[realifedreamgirl]

I can’t wait until I am in that place where everything just falls together perfectly

[thesolewanderer]

Capping off the week with a cup of coffee and this view. Just when I needed some kind of boost ☕️

[thesolewanderer]

...

And it’s beginning to feel like hell...

Lost, confused, unmotivated and not even sure what I wanted to do in life. I've been struggling to handle all these unspoken words and emotions that I have right now. Felt like I have been way too drained these past few months and no matter how hard I try to pick myself up, I just can’t do it anymore; and I don’t even know how to keep myself going. I’ve never felt this tired and frustrated all my life, and it really sucks to be in this state. I guess, I have reached that point in my life where it feels like I’ve been going through the same sh*t everyday and it’s becoming a routine without any progress. At this age, I could have been living the life I have always dreamed of and it’s just kinda depressing to find myself still stuck on how it all started. Part of me wants to step up and leave my comfort zone but I guess, it’s too late to make things work right now as I have no other option. But as soon as everything is in placed and a better opprtunity comes knocking (in God’s will) where I can further grow and find my real passion, I know it would all be worth every bit of the wait.

I believe that all good things take time and everything will eventually fall into place. So I am lifting up everything to Him. 🙏🏻

[thesolewanderer]

Having one of those days where you somehow miss the thrill of going somewhere far away alone. That sense of fulfilment when you realized just how much courage you’ve put into it and how it made you grow as a person by allowing yourself to dive in a whole new perspective of life. Being surrounded by unfamiliar faces and getting lost in some unknown places may be quite a bit of a challenge but that’s the best part of this whole experience which makes the trip even more interesting. It allows you to push yourself incredibly hard and overcome your fears and inhibitions. You might feel quite a bit hesitant striking up a conversation with complete strangers out of necessity or simply just the thought of trying to blend in, but that takes up a big part of this whole solo trip thing. You learn from them and that somehow makes things a bit easier in navigating yourself around. It gives you a sense of freedom to do whatever you want and lets you breathe in and soak in the moment. Everything is entirely up to you to decide and explore all possibilities. It gives you the opportunity to unplug yourself from reality and in the process, you’ll learn things about yourself that might even surprise you in the end. There’s a big, exciting world out there waiting to be explored. Step out and fill your eyes with places, faces, hope and happiness.

Well I guess, this is just a first of many firsts.

[thesolewanderer]

It was a fun ride, 2017. To more travels! ✈

[thesolewanderer]

BDAY TRIP ‘17 🎈

📌Amsterdam, Netherlands 🇳🇱

📌Ghent, Belgium 🇧🇪

📌Paris, France 🇫🇷

First ever solo trip and longest flight so far. It was indeed an achievement that I’ve managed to survive this trip despite those unfavorable circumstances along the way. It was also my first time to travel on standby as I took advantage of the staff travel benefit with KLM. Even got bumped off the first time due to weight and balance restrictions of the plane. Had to try my luck the next day and fortunately, I was able to get in to the flight and had my bday salubong on board (though I had no idea which time zone to follow) 😂 It was such a very smooth and comfy 17-hr flight from Manila to Amsterdam via Taipei (thanks to the very nice KLM check-in staff in NAIA for upgrading my seat to extra legroom ❤). Got upgraded as well to economy comfort on my return flight by the very friendly colleagues in AMS airport.

I remember those nerve wracking moments when I had to run from immigration up to the boarding gate while being assisted by a KLM check-in staff just to make sure that I’d get into the flt since I was the very last person to board the aircraft. It was fun and somewhat stressful at the same time 😅 Learned so much from this trip esp what most of our passengers had to go though whenever there are flight disruptions, so it felt really nice to finally become a passenger myself of KLM. And surprisingly I was affected by the weather disruption in AMS which resulted to many flight cancellations. 🙃 My flight from Paris to Amsterdam got cancelled and had to book a train ticket at the very last minute. Even my baggage got delayed on my way back to Manila that I had to pick it up at NAIA three days after. It may have been quite a bit stressful since my schedule was pretty tight (plus the unexpected flight disruptions) but it was all worth it in the end.

It was a quick yet super fun bday trip (tho it was really bitiiin!) Wish I could have stayed longer but definitely enjoyed it for the most part especially those ‘ligaw moments’ and the struggle of asking directions because of language barrier. Thank God I had this very handy and reliable travel pocket wifi and mobile travel apps which kept me connected everywhere I go and helped me a lot in completing my itinerary. It was indeed a dream come true and a big check off my bucketlist. Best bday trip so far! Will definitely go back and explore more of Europe! ❤

[thelovewhisperer]

You know that feeling when you’re just waiting, waiting to get home into your room, close the door, fall into bed, and just let everything out that you kept in all day, that feeling of both relief and desperation? Nothing is wrong, but nothing is right either, and you’re tired, tired of everything, tired of nothing, and you just want someone to be there and tell you it’s okay, but no one’s going to be there, and you know you have to be strong for yourself because no one can fix you. But you’re tired of waiting, tired of having to be the one to fix yourself and everyone else, tired of being strong, and for once, you just want it to be easy, to be simple, to be helped, to be saved, but you know you won’t be, but you’re still hoping and you’re still wishing and you’re still staying strong and fighting with tears in your eyes. You’re fighting.

Daily Tumblr Love Quotes (via thelovewhisperer)

This is me. Like right now. Every moment. Every single second of my life.

(via herthoughtsbytheway)

[thesolewanderer]

Making better mistakes together 💕

[thesolewanderer]

I’m feeling 25 🎉

Had a quick yet super fun birthday getaway with these gorgs. Headed somewhere north right after shift and stayed there for about 2 days and 1 night. It was just a pretty short stay but we wasted no time to make the most out of this trip though we had to sacrifice some sleep. Definitely had a great time being with these cray cray peeps who have been my constant travel buddies since I started working in IAS. This was actually the first time that I did spend my special day away from home and it was indeed a birthday well spent! Not to mention how I’ve loved the chilly weather up there and how it felt so good to have somehow escaped from the hustle and bustle of the city.

We did a quick city tour and dropped by Ben Cab museum which I have pretty much enjoyed (trying to be artsy fartsy 😂). We haven’t done much of touristy stuff though since we only had very limited time. We did a lot of pig out sessions too as there were so many nice and cozy restos around the city which eventually became the highlight of the trip. We couldn’t just help but try each and every resto within the vicinity which we have heard great feedbacks with (as we made some sort of research prior to the trip.) Some of the restos that we’ve tried were: (1) Solibao which serves mostly local Filipino dishes that taste really good; (2) 50’s Diners which is a blockbuster for Baguio-goers known for their cheap yet sumptuous meals making it really sulit and not to mention its very nice ambiance giving you the 50’s feels; (3) Hardin, a rooftop resto bar and grill which has become my fave, not just because I had my birthday salubong there but the place was absolutely stunning and cozy (I just love it there and I hope they can bring it to Manila as well 😭); (4) Oh My Gulay which is definitely a must-try when in Baguio and made me literally in awe the moment I stepped in because of its very nice, artsy and instagrammable ambiance plus great food that you’ll certainly love regardless if you’re a vegetarian or not; and lastly (5) Forest House and Bistro Cafe which is more like a semi-fine dining and definitely the most pricey of all but a must try as well for its elegant, cozy ambiance plus awesome food. We actually did spend a lot with food trippin stuff but I must say that it’s worth every single penny. I may have regret a bit for eating way too much that made my tummy fucked up on our last day but still managed to end the trip fully satisfied.

I may not have that so-called ‘special someone’ to spend my birthday with but I still feel the luckiest to have such awesome friends who would make an effort to spice up my day and make it extra special. Srsly I’m so touched, can’t thank you guys enough! Your efforts and surprises are deeply appreciated. Thank you for making my birthday beyond special and turning it into something I didn’t expect it to be. Love youuu guys forevs! Here’s to making better mistakes together! ❤️