“ What do you mean? I’m fine, Takuya.”
an effortless smile follows her words, natural in every sense of the word. were it anyone else, it would probably fool them. they’d see it and listen to her. they wouldn’t question it and simply let the matter go, believing that she was indeed okay and so was everything else. part of her hopes he would buy it, but she also knows better. it can only fool someone who doesn’t know the act and she prays he doesn’t because then she’ll falter. and she can’t do that.
she can’t falter. not here, not there, not anywhere. she already did once, and what happened? the worst thing imaginable. faltering could not happen is what she has told herself time and time again. any fear, any pain or sorrow had to be reeled back in and kept under a brave face-- a convincing smile and a pep in her voice that she can hardly conjure up anymore. there were people who counted on her. who needed her at her best. what happened in Yagya Moscow CAN’T happen again. she won’t allow it. so Takuya’s question earns a casual shrug and a smile, but the light doesn’t reach her eyes. everything is still so fresh and fragile underneath it, but she’s always been good at bouncing back. at pushing everything else aside to do what needed to be done.
even if that meant swallowing her own grief and turning it into bravery.
“ I’ll be fine! It’s nothing I can’t handle. “
@beyondtheglasswall