#bf thoughts

[cathartidae]

first contact of the third kind (dicks)

[lillyorlyracat]

My bf just said that Owen Wilson is a male version of Jennifer Coolidge and.... yeah

[no-vamos]

Maybe my bsf has a point and he is a red flag bc he’s barely giving me the bare minimum

Idk

[no-vamos]

Hi👋 friends

It’s been a while

But that’s because I’m happy

I like him

A lot

And I get security and confidence from things and people besides him

I feel like we’re running a healthy relationship

We haven’t had an actual date, like to go out to someplace

But that’s not really either of our things

We’ve been to each others houses

He’s coming to my house next Wednesday

Overall it’s been good

We text every night

I share a class with him that I really enjoy

It’s peaceful and calm

There was a moment where I was like wait is this when things are gonna start falling apart

But no

I feel calm and happy and secure

Maybe not in love but there’s no ick

There’s almost love

It’s too soon to call this love

We’re gonna watch the sunset at some point this month

As like a Christmas thing

I’m excited for that

I would like to kiss him

Just to try you know

But I don’t want to force it

I’m happy with the rate things are going

My senior photos came out today and I had probably the best concert and solo of my life last night so I’ve been running those highs

I’m vaguely stressed about banquet season bc I want to look good for and with him but mostly for myself you know

And I don’t want to coach him through it you know

I trust him

But I don’t want to manage this

Anyways to ends this off here’s a cute little faceless photo from my senior photos

[no-vamos]

Hi👋 tumblr

It’s been a while since I blogged

Mostly bc I’ve been doing quite well

I really like my bf

Like really really like him

I might be falling in love

It feels too early to call it love though

We’ve been dating a little less than a month and even tho we’re texting on average 2.5 hours a day I don’t get a lot of irl alone time with him and that makes me kinda sad

We share an interactive class now and that’s been fun

Anyways back to the falling in love comment

He’s been indirectly making comments that he wants us to lead to marriage

Idk phrasing it like that feels weird but I’m not dating to date I’m dating to marry

And he’s made comments reiterating that he’s not gonna break up with me when I go to college and I’m not gonna break up with him when I go to college bc I like him too much

And I’ve said before that I don’t want to get married until I’m at least 22 and he was like I’ll keep that in mind

And he’s today he’s washing dishes for a wedding being held at our church and we were talking about it once and he was like isn’t it convenient that we both go there

And just ahdbkwjqkfka he makes me feel wanted you know

And last night we both nerded out over house design and talked about our housing preferences

And like how many kids and what pets and like he wants to be an architect so he’s into this stuff but I like it to and just

He’s so fucking smart he got a 1420 on the PSAT and I’m like what the actual fuck but he never makes me feel dumb and I feel like we stand pretty equally in intelligence and just

We’re both Mennonite and he’s just

Ugh I made a comment being like all I want is religious financial and emotional stability and he was like my goal is to have those like

For me

And just that makes me so happy

He makes me happy

I’m going to his house on Wednesday and it won’t be for very long bc his family is leaving for PA after lunch but we’ll hang out a bit and just

Maybe I’ll try to kiss him idk

I haven’t had my first actual kiss

You know one with real intentions behind it

I’m still a bit physically awkward around him but we’re getting there you know

I feel comfortable around him and will continue to feel comfortable around him

Like I can feel it

I’d like a future with him

I really would

His dad only ever dated his mom and he makes comments being like it worked out well for them maybe it will for me and like

Me too love me too

[no-vamos]

All you had to do was stay

And then I wouldn’t have felt sick

Five minutes

You didn’t even have to stay around other people

You could’ve waited in the foyer

You could’ve texted me first

Anything besides leave and not say anything

It was opening night

I wouldn’t have even known you came if I hadn’t seen you in the audience in the final scene

All you had to do was stay

When I noticed you weren’t there afterward I felt physically sick

Like I was going to throw up

I understand you were tired

I understand you don’t like big groups of people

But it was opening night

And I’m your girlfriend

And you didn’t even say anything

I didn’t even get compliments on it afterwards from you

It hurts

A lot

Bc I feel like it’s not unreasonable to expected you to know to stay afterwards

It’s not unrealistic to expected you to know to stay afterwards

And I’m your girlfriend

I’m your girlfriend

And this is something that matters to me

This is not acceptable

Sorry isn’t going to cut it

Saying you might be coming today isn’t going to make me feel better

Your dad doesn’t know we’re dating

I don’t mind very much but your family doesn’t know about us

I understand you like being private and it is fun to run a social experiment about these things

But your dad doesn’t know

You haven’t told him

And I’m upset because you didn’t stay

All you had to do was stay

I’m not asking for roses

I’m not asking for flowers

I’m asking for your time

Your attention

And I didn’t get it

And what’s the likelihood you’ll stay to talk when your dad is there

[no-vamos]

Me when my bf says that no it’s not an issue that you want to text me but I do think it’s a bit excessive

And now I’m mad and upset

But I also know that he’s allowed to have that opinion

It just hurt me ig

So I’m going to try and have already failed unfortunately but I can always try again

To not text him today

[no-vamos]

Omg we’re dating now

This is so great

I like him so much

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