Hello India!
I would love to hear your opinion on the Louis dm thing as I always love to hear your thoughts. Personally, I totally understand the fandom frustration but at the same time its nothing new. Why is this the last straw for so many people? If you don't answer its totally fine, I'm just curious. Have a lovely day!
Hello, love!
I’m currently away with my family, so I’ve been getting a very specific streamline of information from blogs I trust and friends who have their own ways of verifying things. Also, I have no particular interest in exhaustively digging into info from every angle when it comes to stuff like this, so please know, I’m answering this question with the very limited information I have from a set of trusted but very like-minded sources.
I also can’t speak for larries as a whole, so I’ll speak for myself: why do I think this is the last straw for some people/why am I, personally, feeling affected by the situation?
Well, because every relationship (romantic, platonic, even parasocial) is marked by thresholds. We draw lines in the sand that, while not unmoving or unadaptable, still exist. They’re different for everyone (a red line to me may be a yellow line to someone else) and can be flexible depending on the circumstances surrounding the situation. But, each time a line is toed or crossed, it’s natural to re-evaluate a relationship and decide whether or not there’s personal value in staying. That’s the mark of healthy self-worth and a healthy level of distance in any relationship: being able to recognize that there are goal posts everyone (even celebrities we love and adore with all our hearts) has to meet in order to continue having access to our energy.
Now, operating on the theory that this DM is real, there are many things that we now have to come to accept. One of the biggest is that, if Louis does see everything that happens in fandom (like he’s said he has before) and still played a hand in throwing Larries under the bus (some would say again) knowing what kind of hate it would get us, what does that mean for Larries’ relationship with Louis?
Of course this question varies depending on the circumstances. How much control did Louis have over this decision? What was the justification for it? What was the negotiation like? Do the ends justify the means (like, if this is a step towards ending BG)? Was it necessary to deal with the situation this particular way?
These are all questions we ask every time both Harry and Louis make a decision we don’t agree with or that hurt us as Larries. Unfortunately, we usually don’t have the answers to those questions, and we never will, so the only thing we, individually, can decide, is how generous are we each willing to be with them?
Personally, Louis has proven to me, time and again, that he is a good person with a good heart and good intentions. Nothing he has ever done has struck me as unjustifiably cruel or intentionally destructive, and I maintain that closeted people cannot be blamed for the difficult decisions they are forced to make to protect their closet. Navigating how to survive an abusive situation is not freedom, and viewing it through that lens means that whatever decision that was made, it can never be said that it was made with 💯 control.
That said, it doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt to be made the scapegoat, yet again. It doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt to have being a Larrie diminished like that by one of the people we’re trying so hard to stand up for. By one of the people we take risks for, and insist on loving out loud for all that he is regardless of the mistreatment that love comes with.
And for some larries, no matter the justification behind the decision, those are their red lines, and what they do once those lines are crossed is a decision only they can make for themselves.
