#bg3 incorrect

[this-is-a-job-for-vesemir]

Astarion: Okay, WHO made that loud cracking noise that gave away our position and almost got us killed???

Tav: I think that might've been Gale's knees

Shadowheart: Yeah that sounded like Gale's knees

Gale, nodding: It was my knees

[underdark-dreams]

Tav: Where's Astarion?

Shadowheart: He's on the roof.

Tav: The ROOF?

Shadowheart: Relax, he's got sunscreen on

[this-is-a-job-for-vesemir]

Tav: Do you guys even know who Lady Gaga is?

Astarion: Please. Of course we know who Lady Gaga is. *looks at Gale* Gale?

Gale, not looking up from his book: Presumably the wife of Lord Gaga

[this-is-a-job-for-vesemir]

Arabella: You can read each other's minds??

Gale: Well, kind of.

Arabella: That’s AWESOME! Can you tell me what Karlach's thinking of?

Gale: Hm. Bouncy castle

Arabella: What’s going on in Astarion's brain?

Gale: Not child appropriate

Arabella: What about Tav?

Gale: Elevator music

[this-is-a-job-for-vesemir]

Tav: Wasn't it boring, being locked away in that tower for a year?

Gale: Oh not at all

Gale: In fact, I was pretty busy

[flashback to Gale in his tower, sending an email]

Hello, I just tried your seafood risotto recipe which you described on Pinterest as "better than sex" and frankly, Katherine, I'm unsure that your needs are being met,

[this-is-a-job-for-vesemir]

Tara after Gale stole the Blackstaff and almost got himself killed: This means nothing. He's just a little boy, I’m sure the recklessness will fade.

[30 years later]

Tara: Any day now

[this-is-a-job-for-vesemir]

Astarion: *sneaks into the Elfsong Tavern at 2am*

Tav: *turns in swivel chair* Care to tell me where you were?

Astarion: I was with… uh… Gale!

Gale: *also turns in swivel chair* Care to- *keeps spinning* Tav. Tav I can’t stop the cHAIR-

[this-is-a-job-for-vesemir]

Astarion: I taught Gale some stealth skills but he only uses them to put post-its on people's backs without them knowing

Astarion: He also doesn't know they should say things like "stab me", so they all just have smiley faces on them

Astarion: He is the lamest person I've ever met