From a young age Snufkin knew he wasn't a girl, knew that his body wasn't quite right if it made everyone think he was a girl, eventually he couldn't bear it anymore and came crying to Moominmamma. The big moomin held him in her arms, smoothing down his fluffy hair to sooth him and rocking in her chair.
"What is it, my dear? What has you so upset?"
The poor little mymrik's face was all wet from his tears and some of his hair was sticking to his face. He didn't typically show it when he was distressed, but this was super serious to him.
"Oh Moominmamma, I don't know what's wrong with me! I'm not a girl, but you all think that I am! I don't want you to think I'm a girl, I'm a boy Moominmamma! I'm a boy!" He wasn't angry, he was just incredibly upset with the situation. It wasn't a situation the moomin was familiar with, but it didn't seem too difficult to fix. She kissed his forehead and hummed thoughtfully.
"Well, it will definitely help now that you've told me, darling. Why have you never said anything about it?"
Snufkin wiped his eyes and sniffled "I thought maybe everyone would figure it out without me having to say anything. I didn't know I would have to say it."
Moominmamma helped him wipe his tears and took him to wash up his face with a warm wet rag. "Well now that you've told me, the issue will be resolved. I will make sure to tell Pappa, Sniff and Moomin unless you want to tell them yourself. Oh, and was there another name you'd like to be called? I don't think anyone else has the name Snufkin, so I don't think it would affect anybody's view of you."
He shook his head "There's nothing wrong with my name. I like my name." He said, giving Moominmamma a tired smile. She smiled back at him, scooping him up in her arms and going back out to her chair where they were soon joined by Moomin who she scooped up in her other arm.
"Oh hello Moomin, dear. What woke you?" Mamma asked, smiling as the two almost instantly curled up together.
"Snufkin being gone did, mamma. I heard crying and I saw that she was gone and- What's the matter, Snufkin?" The little moomin didn't know what he'd done, but Snufkin suddenly looked very upset again.
"Well, Moomin, he's just told me that he's a boy and we've had it wrong this whole time. I think you may have hurt his feelings just now, dear."
Moomintroll frowned and buried his snout in Snufkin's hair. "Oh Snufkin, I'm so sorry! Why didn't you tell me?" The gesture was reciprocated by Snufkin pressing his face into the moomin's fluffy neck.
"I thought maybe you would figure it out! Or maybe you wouldn't like me anymore if you found out, and I don't want you to not like me anymore."
Moomin pulled back from him, a shocked look on his face. "Why would that change me liking you? You're my favoritest person in the whole world! Nothing will ever ever change that. Especially not you being a boy." He laughed, rubbing his nose against Snufkin's.
As time went on, things got better, everyone was fairly good about things. Even Moominpappa, who was fairly stubborn and ignorant about everything, got used to it eventually. But then things got bad again as his body and voice started to change. Strangers would call him a girl even more often, and he couldn't stand it. In a fit of rage, he cut off his back length curly hair down to where it barely passed his ears. He thought he'd regret it later, but he actually had grown quite fond of it. He'd also started wearing baggier clothes, but he didn't know what to do beyond that.
On one of their adventures they met Snorkmaiden, who Snufkin was quite silently jealous of at first, as Moomin would often go out of his way to impress her, but one day the two of them ended up being the only ones awake so Snufkin settled for playing with her. She wasn't actually all that bad when Moomin wasn't around flirting with her. Suddenly she seemed upset and started anxiously fiddling with the end of her tail.
"Snufkin, do you think they've noticed that I'm not..that I don't have the right body?"
Snufkin was confused.
"What do you mean?"
She tilted her head at him "I'm like you! Well, except the other way. I'm a girl, but people don't understand that I'm a girl because I don't look enough like a girl snork, or sound enough like one. I've been seeing this nice lady that helps me with it, but sometimes I'm worried it won't be enough."
Snufkin hadn't even noticed anything off, but he also didn't know snork anatomy or assume anything about anyone. He felt comforted by her confiding in him with this information though. "Even if they have noticed, I don't think it matters to them. They like you no matter the body mix-up." He said, making her laugh and smile. She relaxed again and laid back in the flowers, turning her head to look at him.
"You know, I thought you didn't like me. You always seem upset when I'm around."
Snufkin blushed and looked away. Gods this was embarrassing.
"Well- It's- I- Okay. It's just..Moomintroll is always so..show offey in front of you. I don't know why it makes me so upset, but it's like I'm not his favorite person anymore! I guess that's fine if that's how he feels but.." He sighed, his ears drooping. The snorkmaiden gave him a sympathetic look, looking away for a moment before looking back at him.
"I'm so sorry, I didn't realize...I didn't realize that you were in love with him."
Snufkin turned to look at her so fast he nearly fell. His face was burning red. He hadn't realized it until this moment but she was absolutely right. He was in love with him. He let himself collapse against the wildflowers and clutch the chest of his shirt with his paw.
"Oh goodness I'm in love with him…"
Snorkmaiden looked very confused. "You mean you didn't know you were in love with him?"
Snufkin shook his head "I guess I never really thought about it that hard before...But um, it's okay if he loves you. It may be better even. I know how hard it is on him when I leave, it would only be worse if he loved me."
Years passed and feelings only grew, but he said nothing of them to Moomintroll. Not even when he came in so fast for an embrace he nearly knocked Snufkin over on his first day back that Spring. He was so excited to see them he'd almost forgotten to show them something very important. He waited for the perfect moment at dinner that night to reveal his fresh pair of scars right under his pectorals, and how smooth it was now compared to the lumps that had laid there before.
Everyone was very happy for him and that only made his heart more full, but he still didn't say anything about his feelings. Not even when he and Moomin laid together in his tent that night and the moomintroll traced his scars with his soft furry fingers. Not even when he could have sworn he saw Moomin think about leaning in for a kiss but look away before anything could happen. Not even when the furry beast held him as they went to sleep, or when he was reluctant to part with him in the morning.
He couldn't. It wasn't even just for Moomintroll's sake now, it was for his own too. He could never have the alone time he desired if he desired his dear friend so much more. He hoped one day it would just go away so that they could live on with their lives without the heartache.
Even more time passed, and today he was sure it was the day he had to let go, but his feelings were stronger than ever, making things a bit difficult. It didn't matter though. Moomin had gone and Snufkin didn't know where to, and he must not have cared if he hadn't left a note, so he supposed he was leaving Moominvalley for good this time. But as he finally started to go, Toffle called him over from the coastline about a boat approaching and the sprint he broke into was involuntary.
At first he didn't see what Toffle was talking about and was fairly disappointed, but sure enough, there it was. The Adventure in all her glory, with a singular Moomin aboard and Snufkin knew it was him. He dropped his bag and hat on the grass and ran out to meet him as soon as he was docked, tears forming in his eyes. He gasped and laughed as the moomintroll picked him up and spun him around a few times, causing them to nearly lose balance when he set him back down.
"I'm so sorry I didn't say anything, I didn't know where you were or if I'd see you again before you left, and I was so focused on trying to make Snorkmaiden happy that I totally forgot to write you a note and-" Moomin was cut off by Snufkin suddenly bursting into tears, which was definitely not something he did unless it was a super big deal. "Oh no don't cry-"
"I thought I was never going to see you again! I didn't even know where to look for you and- I thought I was never going to have a chance to tell you that I love you and I would travel alone for the rest of my days."
Moomin held his face in his paws and blushed "Oh I'm so so sorry! I promise I'll never make you feel so helpless again for as long as I'm alive. Oh Snufkin, I've loved you forever, how could you not know that?" He crooned, his tail sticking straight up when his friend kissed him, but it was almost instantly reciprocated. This was it. The moment their lives this far had been leading up to. From that day on there would be no more silent tension, they would finally get to fully enjoy each other's company without overthinking about how the other may not feel the same way, because they knew. From now on, things would be just perfect.
(Or would they? Because perfect doesn't exist and every relationship has conflict even if it's just friendly arguments over silky things, but they're happy. I need to write my whole au and actually develop the story more, but it will exist eventually. Also this took like a minute to write please appreciate it. Also mymrik is my word for the hybrid that he is and either Jox or Mymble named him idk but he had a note with him that was just his name. Not canon, just canon in my stories.)
