Anon Advice Asks - September 22
eugene anon (new), fearless anon, androgyne anon, big creator anon (new), biological boy anon (new)
eugene anon (cw- pet death)
Hi, I need to talk to someone abt this and i think my family might break down if i mention it.
It’s been a year since my cat, Eugene, died. He was a fluffy brown tabby and the softest thing in the world. I always like to just like face plant him and hug him, I thought it was a recent thing but there’s a picture of me when I was 10 or 11 doing it. I loved that cat, he was my best friend. He never but it scratched people ( he was a bit of a killer though) and he was even gentle with our other cat who is a violent prat (no hate to Ralph, I love him, we’re goth twinsies)
I wanted to keep him as a house cat but he wasn’t happy, he always broke out and screamed at the door, he was miserable, I loved seeing him outside more than anything, it’s just so sad that outside killed him. He was my baby, I had him from when I was 10 to when I was 15, he always slept on me in winter and he’d watch my favourite movie with me and he was the first person (cat) I came out to. I miss my baby.
In January we got a cat who looks a lot like him and I love her (my Pandora baby) but it’s so difficult seeing her at the back door or sleeping on my mums bed because like that should be my baby.
Everyone’s trying to move on but I can’t, he had a chair in my mums room that he was slept on and the day after he died my mum put it out in the garden, it’s rotted from the rain and doesn’t stand anymore, we’re also moving house soon and it feels like we’re going to be so far from the memory of my sweet boy
Hi <3
I am so sorry about the loss of your cat. I can't even imagine how hard that is, and I'm sending you a million hugs.
I think the thing is, with any loss, everyone mourns differently. Your feelings are so valid and you have a right to be sad and to have mixed feelings now dealing with new cat and upcoming mood.
Please don't stuff these feelings down. You're allowed to mourn <3 I think the best thing you can do is to talk about this, even if you cry. Also remember that healing isn't linear. You can be sad about it one day and feel okay the next. Be gentle with yourself, and you're more than welcome to inbox me anytime <3
___
fearless anon
hi cas it’s fearless anon
precalc is going well but i had a 40 point quiz in ap chem today and i got 95% on the mcq and 70% on the free response so now my grade’s 82.5 and i feel like crying because wtf how did i do so bad and then there are these guys who i share several classes with and if they scored better than me i’m going to crash out because it’s bad enough that i’m taking ap physics 1 as a sophomore instead of as a freshman like some people did because my old school didn’t have it
i’m still sitting alone at lunch and i have a couple of people to talk to in french and chem and that’s about it. it’s only two weeks into the school year but i feel like i’m so behind because well the 82.5, but there’s like an aggregate of 300 points or more so in the long run it won’t matter much hopefully but i got a 90% on the placement test how did i fuck up this badly. i know which one i probably got wrong but i had practiced that type of problems before so idfk anymore.
Hi <3
hon, you are being so hard on yourself! An 82.5 is amazing, especially for the first test in a very difficult class! PLEASE take a moment to acknowledge that this is tough, and you are trying so hard.
I think it could be a good idea to ask your teacher what you got wrong. That way you learn from it, you know? But also know that YOU DID AMZING! You did your best and an 82.5 is fantastic. I' proud of you <3
___
androgyne anon
hi cas it's androgyne anon
i think i'm going to go with genderfluid? like how i feel about my gender, my clothes and how i'm presenting does change, and so i think i might be genderfluid? but idk if i'm ever going to tell anyone that i am or my new pronouns. i want to, but it'll change everything irrevocably and i don't know if my friends would accept it because they're very weird about gender (not sexuality though). and it would just make things harder so i'll probably just stay she/her and not tell them or anyone else for that matter about they/she. like i put it on my tumblr and that's fine but it's not that easy irl unfortunately.
Hi!
That makes sense! I'm so sorry that you don't have people you feel safe to tell right now </3 I hope someday you're able to find those people. Until then, I'm so glad you felt safe telling me!
___
big creator anon (new)
Do you have any advice on what to do when you know a big creator is a very hateful, creepy, borderline pedophile but they have too many followers to safely speak out? It's one of the hardest things for me, to watch people go and follow and worship this person when I know they're horrendous
Hi!
I think this is a really hard thing to give advice on because I don't know the specifics of the situation? And I think it would really depend on the specifics. You're welcome to dm me/inbox me with more details, though!
___
biological boy anon (new)
(New anon btw)
Hey Cas. So I’m questioning if I’m trans or not. I mean, the fact that I’m questioning it makes me think that maybe I’m not? Idk. I was born a girl, and I thought I’ve felt comfortable that way, but recently I’ve been not that way. I don’t like my curves or height or feminine face or voice or anything that makes me appear like a girl. I thought it was kinda sudden, thought it might have been hormones, but looking back, i don’t think I’ve ever liked being a girl. I’ve always felt uncomfortable dressing feminine. And I liked to be around boys because I felt more… I dunno assured I guess. Now I think I’m just starting to realize it. But I don’t wanna be trans. I want to be a boy. A biological boy. So sometimes I think that maybe it’s just body dysmorphia and I’m not trans at all. But, to be fair, I’m raised by Mormon parents. (Their views on transgender are basically you can feel that way but don’t act on it.) I don’t follow that faith at all really, but it’s been shoved in my face my whole life. So maybe I have religious guilt or something? And I know that you can’t tell me if I’m trans or not, I know I need to find that out for myself but I guess I just want to get it out to someone if that makes sense. So yeah. Not sure what I am.
Hi!
I'm so sorry you're struggling with this.
I think the thing that's important to think about is...I obviously can't speak for all trans people, but I would guess that the majority of trans people don't want to be trans. Sure, there are a lot of trans people who have embraced their transness, who are proud of it and confident in it. But I think a lot of people would also say they'd be thrilled if they didn't have to transition- if they were born physically like the gender their brain knows they are.
All this to say, you saying you want to be 'biologically' a boy and 'not a trans boy'...I don't think that's a deciding thing. Because in the end...they're both boys.
I think your best bet now would be to do some research on transness and trans people's experiences (nobody's experience is the same, but the information is valuable) and also, if it's safe, try to experiment with your gender expression a bit! Try different pronouns or different clothes or a different name. None of those things are permanent and it could help you see where your brain is at. And remember--it's okay to not know. It's okay to play around with gender but not put a label on it. It's okay to just be YOU!