Discouragement.
It’s been a minute since I’ve written a real blog post, and I thought today might be a good day. I’ve been working hard and have not gotten very far, which is incredibly discouraging. I’ve started BJJ and MMA, I work hard every session, sometimes 6 days a week, I eat my chicken and vegetables, I hurt ALL the time, and yet see very little to no results. My biggest discouragement lately has been trying to find a Gi that fits my fat legs. I’ve yet to find one. Not only am I the biggest person in class, I’m the only one without a uniform because they literally don’t make one big enough. I don’t know what could make me feel more out of place there, but I just keep going. I can barely do half the warm ups, but I just keep trying. I think the most frustrating part is that I actually understand the drills and techniques, I just can’t execute them. It’s not getting any easier, the scale isn’t moving, the inches aren’t shrinking, it’s super disheartening- but I can’t let that stop me, cause it sure won’t happen by not going. It’s easy to keep going when you see results, but how do you push through when it seems like nothing is going right and everything is so hard? I don’t know, you just do. Sometimes it feels like the whole world is against me… but I have an amazing team behind me, so backing down isn’t an option. Just keep going forward, just keep going.