billie dean howard x reader
summary: You meet Billie in mourning. She's too professional, and you're too angry, and it takes too long to see her again. And again. And again as your lives tumble together.
w/c: 2.9k
taglist: unsure! let me know if you're still interested
chapter one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen, fourteen, fifteen, sixteen, seventeen, eighteen
notes: hi! i've actually had this chapter and most of the next chapter written for a long time and never posted them. not sure why, but i'm going to get 19 posted in a couple days just because i can and should. can't make any promises, but this story lives in my head still. so i want to finish it. to whoever reads this, thank you! and i hope you enjoy :)
warnings: discussion of cancer
The last few weeks, Billie thinks, have been oversaturated with you. Like a movie screen with the vibrancy up so high it hurts her eyes, makes her dream in colors that don’t exist. It’s terrible. And Billie just can’t stop, doesn’t have the willpower to grab onto something steady, something real to stop the spinning. She’s sick with you, absolutely run down and overwhelmed by your warmth and gratitude and patience and humor. God, you can make her laugh. Harder than she has in years. It scares her half to death sometimes when she looks at you and wonders. Not just about brushing your hair back for you or sliding a hand tight around your waist or kissing your soft, lovely lips. But about waking up next to you, getting to see you bathed in a soft morning light, knowing how you take your coffee and making it for you every morning. Billie finds herself wanting something much softer and more tender with you than she’s allowed herself to have in a long time. She wants to love you.
The last time she took you out to dinner, it was at some swanky bistro in West Hollywood. And as soon as you noticed that they didn’t post the prices on the menu, you blushed and set it down.
“Billie, I can’t afford this,” you admit with considerable difficulty and humiliation, your cheeks tinging red in the candlelight. Billie forces down a blissful, hazy grin and reaches over, covering your hand with hers.
“Darling, I’m taking you out to dinner. I don’t expect you to pay.” Your cheeks flush darker at the term of endearment, and you swallow, pulling your hand away and down into your lap.
“This is too much,” you breathe, and Billie’s eyes search yours, her smile flickering and fading, trying to hide her panic.
“Did I overstep?” She’s been worried, endlessly it seems, about stepping too carelessly into romance and getting burned, about making it awkward and uncomfortable. Billie doesn’t think she could stand that, not with you. They’ve worked too hard to be friends to then get lost in some terrible unrequited crush. Fiddling with your napkin, your jaw tightens momentarily before you look back at Billie.
“No, you’re not…” you take a breath. “You’re not overstepping. I’m just not used to being paid for. I don’t want to owe you anything.”
“You could never,” Billie says, brow furrowed because the idea itself is ridiculous. It takes a minute for you to accept that, but as soon as Billie sees it on your face, she smiles, soft and easy. “Unfortunately, I’m rather fond of you. It’s what I do for people I like.”
“Buy them things?” you ask, a hint of amusement creeping in. Billie chuckles, resting her elbow on the table, her chin on her knuckles.
“Spoil them,” she allows herself to say, eyes sparkling in the low, warm light. Your eyes lock with hers in surprise, and then you swallow.
“You are not the same Billie Dean Howard I met on my front porch,” you say with a shake of your head. “I feel like I’m constantly uncovering a little bit more of you.” Your voice begs a question Billie isn’t sure how to answer. She feels like any explanation might give too much away. She helped you when you were nothing but cruel to her. She bought your house. She was so patient with you, and you with her. And now you’re here, and she’s spoiling you the way she does with the people who steal her affections. Billie swallows, resting her hands back in her lap.
“I’m sorry it’s taken so long. I’m not an easy person to get to know.”
“Please don’t apologize,” you chuckle, shifting forward. “I promise you I understand. Besides, it’s kinda exciting.”
“Exciting?” Billie drones, looking at you over her lashes.
“Yes” you laugh. “I’m never bored.” Billie huffs out a laugh and rolls her eyes.
“I’m glad I’m so entertaining for you.” You grin, biting your lip, and your eyes are shining in the candlelight, and Billie wants to kiss you.
Later in the night, after Billie steals the check from you before you can look at it and you’re walking to your cars arm in arm, you lean your head on her shoulder. Billie stiffens.
“Maybe next time, we can start talking about the really deep stuff. Like your favorite color.” Billie lets herself grin, chest tight, and rests her cheek against your head.
“It’s taupe,” she mumbles, and your head shoots up from her shoulder, horrified and disbelieving.
“You’re kidding.”
“Yes, I’m kidding,” she chuckles, and you press a hand to your heart in relief. “It’s green.”
“Green,” you echo, resting your head back down, your steps falling in line.
“Like spanish moss,” Billie offers, and you hum.
“That’s oddly specific.”
“There’s not much that I miss about my childhood,” Billie breathes. “But climbing all the big oak trees and watching the spanish moss sway in the breeze was…” You lift your head, turning to watch Billie’s furrowed brow and faraway eyes. “It was a nice escape.”
“Escape from what?” you ask quietly, and Billie swallows, giving you a brief, tight smile. You give her one back, but it’s sadder, more careful, and then you’re leaning in, squeezing Billie’s arm, your thumb across her bicep. It’s a little thing, a small comfort, but it means the world to her. And she’s afraid to look up at you. Afraid she might kiss you.
“Thank you for coming to dinner with me,” she says, mustering the restraint to meet your eyes. Your arm tightens in Billie’s, and you’re smiling.
“Thank you for agreeing to come to Norah’s birthday party.” Billie exhales the tightness in her chest. “It’s this Saturday. Don’t forget.”
“I wouldn’t miss it,” she says, and it’s the truth. An opportunity to see you in any context was something she couldn’t ever pass up. Then you pull her into a hug, tight and warm, and Billie closes her eyes against you, fingers splayed across your back. “Goodnight, Y/N.”
“Night, Billie.”
. . .
Billie’s curled up on her couch the night before Norah’s party in satin pajamas. There’s a steaming cup of tea on her end table and a book nestled in her lap. She’s startled by the sound of her phone ringing but even more startled to see who’s calling. With a deep, settling breath, she dog ears her book and sets it down next to her tea.
“Hi dad,” she breathes.
“Good to hear your voice, honey bunches,” he says, that southern twang drawn and tired. She checks the time. South Carolina is four hours ahead of Los Angeles which would make it two in the morning there. Something surges up within her, choked and panicky.
“What happened?” He lets out a strained chuckle, and she can picture him scrubbing his fingers across his scruffy jaw.
“Y’know how your mama’s had that cough.”
“No,” Billie shoots back. “I didn’t know.” Her father hums.
“Musta been Jamie I was talkin’ to then,” he offers. “Your brother actually calls home to check in every once an’a while.”
“Dad,” Billie groans, pressing her fingers into her temple. “Please just tell me what happened.”
“She started up that coughing. Couldn’t catch her breath. I pat her back, gave her water,” he sighs, pausing. “There was blood in it, Billie. Curlin’ down like smoke. An’ she just looks up at me with a face I ain’t seen since you up and left. Resigned and so hard. Then she swallows and licks those lips and says, James, get my coat.” The silence on the line is deafening, and Billie numbly registers her ears ringing. “So here we are, Hoffman-Strauss Memorial.”
Billie’s throat is thick, and she blinks once then twice, chest tight.
“Okay.” Her voice is hoarse. She swallows. “Have you seen a doctor yet?”
“Just a room. Your mama’s sleepin’. She’s scheduled for a CT at 8.”
“And Jamie knows?” He hums.
“She’s too proud to say it, but she wants you to call her.” Billie scoffs, holding her hand over her eyes as she shakes her head.
“The only thing she wants to hear from me is that I’m leaving Hollywood,” she says, suddenly so weary.
“Set it aside, Billie Dean. Just for a minute,” he tells her, harder this time, with less give. Her shoulders deflate, and she swallows, looking down into her lap. “I love you.”
“Love you, dad.” When she hangs up, the world feels like it’s tilted on its axis. The last time she spoke to her mother, Billie’s face had been in the tabloids, her name spoken like a disgraced Hollywood starlet. Out of all the things her mother’s ever said to her, that phone call was relatively tame. It was expected, usual. The guilt, the shaming, the moral superiority. And now she’s coughing blood. Some might call that divine intervention. Absently, Billie laughs. It’s a weak chuckle, but it grows. And as it does, Billie’s chest seizes up. She laughs and laughs, but there’s a growing pit in her chest, and she’s starting to feel hysterical. She just can’t stop. And then the laughter turns gasping, and she can’t breathe. And my god, the hardest woman in America is coughing blood. She is a human being. Delicate and fallible.
Billie presses her palms into her eyes. “Fuck. Fuck.”
She remembers pressing a wet cloth to the back of your neck when you broke down over Kate, and Billie tries to treat herself with the same patience, the same kindness. What do you need right now? Slowly, she forces her breathing to slow, shuts out everything but the in and out of her breath and the occasional flash of your smile in her mind’s eye, your gentle hands on her arms. Jamie. She hasn’t spoken to him since his birthday. He reminds her too much of her childhood, so she tries to stay away. Not tonight. Her heart is pounding when she presses call, and she feels lightheaded, but she forces herself to stay on the line as it rings.
“Dad called you too, huh?” he asks when the phone connects, and immediately her breathing evens and slows.
“Yeah,” she says quietly as the world stops spinning around her.
“Takes a lot for you to reach out. The news must’ve rattled you.”
“I’m fine,” she says immediately, rubbing circles in her chest. He scoffs, and she closes her eyes. He hasn’t lost his accent, but it’s weaker now, stilted. Though his voice hasn’t changed, that richness, that unwavering steadiness is still there.
“Alright. Goodnight, then.”
“Wait,” Billie starts, and she hears him settle and exhale. “I’m sorry. I just don’t know…” she scoffs and shakes her head.
“I know,” he says, low and even. There’s a thick silence between them, and Billie remembers his hair, brown and unruly. She always used to ruffle it. She wonders how he styles it now. Is it shorter? How does his wife like it? Does she like that scruff he refuses to shave? Or does he shave it now? They’re little things, she knows, inconsequential really. But it’s the missing she can’t let go of now. The disconnect.
“How are you?” she asks finally, and he chuckles.
“I’m alright. Business is tightening with the economy, but we’re fine. Addison’s still with her firm. Could be making partner next year.”
“That’s great, Jamie, really,” she says with a smile. He doesn’t respond right away.
“How are you? I saw the magazines.” Her blood runs cold. “Come on, Bill, I know mom ragged you on it.” Jamie’s known she’s a lesbian since high school when he caught her kissing her best friend against the shed one hot summer afternoon. Feeling bitter, Billie stands up.
“I’m used to her bullshit,” she says, grabbing her cigarettes and stepping onto her balcony. When she lights one, it’s an immediate relief. “The press? Not as much,” she admits.
“What’s it like bein’ a Hollywood hotshot?” he asks, a laugh in his voice. She takes a deep drag, shaking her head.
“I try not to acknowledge it,” she admits.
“Me and Addie’ve been watching your show.” She taps ash over her balcony and clenches her jaw. “Don’t get like that,” he drones without ever seeing her face. “It’s good. Really good.”
“You never used to think it was good,” she says, embarrassed and maybe too bitter. Jamie always stood around a corner and watched when their mother would yell at her, tell her to stop that. It’s not right. As if she had any choice in the matter. As if she wanted to see the dead roaming her house on a Saturday afternoon. She was so alone. And then Jamie would look at her with those big, shameful eyes and turn away to go play with his friends, knees muddy and bruised. Jamie takes a breath on the other line.
“You really think I had a say in it, Billie Dean?”
“No,” she replies quickly and then sighs. “No, I don’t,” she adds, softer. “But you could have…” she trails off, rebellious tears welling in her eyes. She takes another long drag, trying to will them away. “Later, you could have…”
“You mean later when you moved out and didn’t talk to any of us for five years? Or do you mean later when you sent me a Christmas card and spelled Addie’s name wrong.” Billie blushes fiercely, jaw clenched as she looks down, looks away as if Jamie’s staring right at her right now. “I know that your experiences with mom were a lot different than mine, but I ain’t the enemy.” She takes a long drag as she looks out at the skyline. She knows he’s right, but she doesn’t know how to let her body know that.
“I’m sorry,” she finally admits, blowing smoke into the warm breeze.
“I’m sorry too.” They’re both silent for a long time. “Listen, Billie. I’m tired. I’m driving in tomorrow. I’ll call you with news, alright?”
“Alright,” she says, quiet as she looks down at her feet.
“Try to get some sleep,” he says before the call disconnects.
. . .
When the sun comes up, Billie’s neck deep in a scientific journal about lung cancer. Her eyes are red, and her tea is long since cold, and her brow feels permanently furrowed, lips sealed in a hard line. It’s 6:30 when she finally turns her neck in another direction, peels her laptop from her skin, and licks her chapped lips. Her whole body is buzzing and achy, and she swallows, sending a vague text to cancel her things for the day. And then she drags herself to bed and sleeps so fitfully she could barely call it sleep.
She only wakes up at noon to the sound of her phone ringing. Bleary and dazed, she pulls it toward her, hair across her face.
“Hello?” she mumbles.
“They’re gonna do some more tests, but…” Jamie sighs, and Billie feels electricity shoot through her in an icy, terrible jolt.
“It’s cancer,” she says, cold and empty.
“Is it surprising?” Jamie chuckles wearily, “she smokes like a chimney.” Billie’s stomach flips and a rush of dizziness takes over.
“Now what?”
“I don’t know.”
. . .
Billie doesn’t know what to wear to a party like this, but she does have more than enough black for a funeral. Stop. Stop it. Billie wants to scrub her mind clean with a brillo pad. Her chest clenches, and she closes her eyes, willing away the intrusive thoughts that want to swallow her whole. She doesn’t even know what to feel. All she can manage is panic and avoidance. It’s something to deal with later. Not now. Please, not now. She’ll have to make the trip down south. She knows this. It’s inevitable. Christ.
Instead of digging through her closet, hair still wet after her shower, she walks to the kitchen and pours herself a glass of bourbon. She’s going to a party in two hours. Isn’t that what one does? Drink beforehand?
. . .
“Andy’s not coming,” you announce when you enter Norah’s apartment with several grocery bags full of various liquors.
“What?” Norah asks, poking her head out from the kitchen. She’s unpackaging red solo cups, both shot glass and full size.
“We had a fight.”
“Uh oh,” she intones, “what happened?” You sigh, setting down the bags on her dining room table.
“I told her I didn’t want her at the party.” Norah raises her brow, pressing a hand to her hip patiently.
“Is everything okay?” You don’t know how to answer that. The excuse you gave Andy was some story about how you always attended Norah’s parties with Kate, and you didn’t want to feel like you’re replacing her this year, and it was thin and unbelievable even to Andy.
“I’m pushing her away,” you finally admit, eyes squeezed tight. When you open them, Norah’s head is tilted, her eyes soft.
“Why?” she asks carefully, stepping forward, folding her arms over her chest.
“I think I feel trapped?” you guess, wringing your hands. “She loves me. She hasn’t said it, but I know she does. And I don’t think I can love her back.”
“Because of Kate?”
“Partially. I don’t know. I don’t wanna talk about it anymore,” you sigh, shaking your head and waving the topic away with your hands. “Let’s just get ready for this party.” Norah gives you a searing look, a hint of a smile on her lips, before continuing on. Though there’s something in her eyes that unsettles you, something she knows that she’s not saying. You chew your lip and try not to think about it.
I came here to fix my car (not my heart) - Billie Dean Howard
a/n: this is something completely different to what i’ve written before and much longer than my other fics so i really hope you like it
prompt: billies car broke down and her usual mechanic is out of town. they recommended your place
cw: very suggestive throughout, passing out, billies being dramatic.
taglist: @stayevildarling
if you’d like to be added to my taglist please let me know (:
Word count: 3174
"I don't care that he's out of town! The AC has blown out and it's the middle of Summer!" the blonde almost screams down her phone in frustration. She leans against the hood of her car, cigarette in hand as a slight slither of sweat drips down her face.
"You're going to have to see someone else Ms Howard.." the person on the other line sighs, "There's not much we can do. There's one that should be open the "Magic Hands Repair Shop,"
Billie abruptly ends the call, not wanting to listen to the man any further and scoffing at the ridiculous name, whilst turning around so she's leaning her backside on the hood of her Audi. Taking another drag from her cigarette she sighs as she tries to figure out what to do. Due to her job there's a lot of driving around and visiting people. There is, of course, the option to go in the company car but she does much prefer her own and to drive herself for that matter. She pulls her purse close and takes out a handkerchief to dab her brow before she takes a deep breath and gets back into her stuffy car.
Pissed off and against her own wishes, she turns into the repair shop she was recommended. It would definitely have to do for now; it's far too hot to continue to drive across the city to find a decent one. Especially with traffic being as heavy as it is right now, due to the evening rush, and by the time she would even find a more reputable one than this, she only imagines it to be closed. Thankfully, this one seems to be open. It should be. That's what the man said.
She quickly exits the hot, stuffy car and walks into the shade inside, the cool air hitting off the back of her nude legs making her hum contently. She looks around for the owner, taking note of the "run down" look that this shop has in comparison to her more expensive car mechanics. This place looks cheap, anyway, she assumes. It'll have to suffice until she can get someone more superior to sort it out. If the car would even last that long.
She realises it doesn't look like anybody is actually in the shop. Maybe it's not actually open. That's annoying and she is definitely going to send a complaint to the person who gave her this recommendation. She had bad vibes from him anyway. She scans the room to confirm lack of life before she heads off. She can see stacks of old and new tyres and hears the distant sound of a radio tuned to the local station, but there is no other sign of life, other than the cactus sitting on the shelf at the back end of the room where various tools were sitting. But even that seems to be lacking there of. She cant say anything though, she has killed plenty of succulents in her time.
The smell of oil and gas lingers making her scrunch her nose in slight disgust as she continues to scope out the place - full of cars sitting silently, waiting attention. Except, nobody seems to be giving it to them. She sighs to herself shaking her head and just as she is about to leave, a muted metallic clang catches her attention. She moves further inside, scoping out where the sound came from and notices a pair of boot-clad feet and lower legs emerging from an old Cadillac in the back of the shop.
"Hello? Is anyone there?" she calls out, wincing as she sees the legs jerk and hears a muffled bang from underneath the car.
"Ow," the voice grumbles. One word, but enough for Billie to determine that the owner is female. For some reason, that surprises her. She hasn't encountered a female mechanic before. And now her heart is in her pants and she finds it arousing. Why? She hasn't been laid in over a year, that's why. Her ex was a bitch.
"Hang on, hang on," your voice mutters as you rub your now bruised forehead, in pain. Billie holds her breath as you quickly roll yourself back into daylight and the moment she sees your face she almost forgets how to breathe.
She is so in her own mind of arousal that she only realises that she's been holding her breath for a bit too long. Her heart is thundering inside her ribcage and the world is starting to go a little grey around the edges. She can't even say anything or see you jogging quickly over to her because everything goes black quickly.
Her eyes open and she looks dazedly to up at you as you carry her. She looks at your h/c hair and sees it's tied up in a ponytail, apparently to keep it out of your face, which is dotted with streaks of oil and a small bruise forming on your forehead. Your expression is focused, which, given the fact that you seem to be climbing a set of stairs, is unsurprising. Billie is hardly lightweight, and you're so wiry and small, but yet...here you are, carrying her up a flight of stairs. You're apparently much stronger than you look. Another reason to become aroused, she guesses. Typical Billie. She faints and the first thing she thinks of is finding her mechanic sexy.
"What..." She attempts to speak, feeling words fail her when you glance downwards and she's again, imagining something she shouldn't.
"You passed out," you explain, a small droplet of sweat dripping down your face.
Billie stays quiet as you kick open the door to your apartment with your foot. You make your way inside, lowering Billie down on your couch in the middle of the room. It's surprisingly comfortable, Billie thinks and she shuffles as she relaxes into the cushions, feeling the haze in her head slowly fade away.
"Stay there," you say, carefully, turning around. Billie breathes a sigh of relief when you switch on a fan that was sitting on the coffee table. It moves the air just enough to cool the sweat on her brow. "There. I know it's probably not much, but it should help. I'll get you some water."
Billie watches silently as you head over to the small kitchen on the other side of the room. She can't believe her eyes and she almost pinches herself when you reach for the collar of your boiler suit, unzipping it swiftly. She swallows, hard, when she sees a glimpse of a white undershirt peeking through and bare stomach when you lift your arms above your head to stretch out the toned muscles in your arms. She simply can't tear her eyes away.
You're undeniably attractive, but Billie has to keep reminding herself that she barely knows the woman in front of her. Although it's most certainly not unusual for her to have one night stands... Jesus christ, why is she thinking if having a one night stand with her mechanic?
Before she knows it, you return with two glasses of water, ice cubes clinking as you walk over. All the while you don't utter a single word and the quiet is quite unsettling and Billie finds herself focusing on the sound of the fan as it whirrs, wondering what on earth to say. Suddenly, she's nervous. It doesn't help that her head's still cloudy, and she takes a gulp of water in an attempt to revive herself. It's beyond time for her to say something, so she summons up the courage to say the first appropriate thing that pops into her head.
"So... you live here? Above the garage?" She asks, wondering why on earth she even opened her mouth when you give her a bemused look before taking a gulp of cold water. Billie traces its journey down your throat, watching the movement of your neck as you swallow. A droplet escapes the corner of your mouth and trickles down moments later, running into the collar of your undershirt, and Billie forces herself to look away in an attempt to avoid overheating for the second time that day. Just picturing where that water had ended up was enough to send her mind to places she had been trying to ignore for the past few months.
"As first questions go, that's not what I was expecting," you finally say, not unkindly. "But yeah, I do live here. It's much easier to grab parts and tools that way." you smile softly at her before your eyes widen slightly "Sorry. I got you a bit oily," you say, and Billie looks down to where you're pointing at her arm. You politely hold back from touching the skin; but she definitely wants you to, and sure enough there was a smudge of brown there from where you had held her.
Billie shakes her head in a daze. "It's okay," she murmurs, taking another panicked gulp of the icy water and wincing as it hits the back of her throat. She can feel the weight of your stare "Sorry. I didn't mean to faint on you. Just... Must have overheated." She doesn't want to tell you the full real reason of passing out. From finding you so attractive she literally forgot how to breathe for a moment and with all the heat almost suffocating her, she passed out. The embarrassment has yet to fade and it gives Billie something to focus on other than the woman sitting so close to her.
"What's your name?" you ask her, tilting your head in such an adorable way that it takes Billie a moment to answer.
"Billie Dean Howard. Medium to the stars." Reciting the script is easy, at least. She has to hold herself back from doing the 'flutter fingers' she usually does. Her movements still not quite caught up.
You smile warmly at her reply. "Alright, Billie Dean. Nice to meet you." Billie swears she died the second her full name left your lips. "I'm Y/N," you continue, before downing the rest of your water and reaching silently for the blondes glass. While you busy yourself in the kitchen, Billie mentally kicks herself at her lack of social skills.
Why hadn't she started with names? She is usually the master at flirtation and social situations. But this time.. Combined with the heat and the pounding in her head, Billie wishes she can just start this interaction all over again.
"So... I- well, I guess I should explain why I'm here," Billie fumbles, fidgeting with her hands, her acrylic nails clacking together. All of a sudden she can't keep still, and the words come out in a rush as if to make up for her earlier incompetence. If she can snap out of this right now and stop acting like a lovesick, horny teenager that would be great. She shakes her head and scolds herself silently.
"I'm assuming it's something to do with the Audi parked outside?" you ask, handing her another glass of cold water.
"Right, right," she breathes, relieved for a normal topic of conversation. She can do that, at least. "The air conditioning is broken."
"Can't have you overheating again, can we?" you smile, giving Billie a quick wink to show you mean no harm by the joke. The gesture was enough to make Billie's cheeks to fluster anyway and she feels her mouth fall open.
"Preferably not," she finally agrees. She's glad she can blame the heat in her cheeks on the warm weather. "I can't believe I passed out." she chuckles
"It was a bit of a surprise," you agree, frowning when you look at Billie's expression. "Are you sure you're alright? I can give you a lift home, if you like."
She shakes her head suddenly, feeling the room spin with the motion. She should take you up on your offer, it would be the sensible thing to do - but she doesn't trust herself not to screw things up. She needs a moment to adjust, to prepare herself.
"It's ok. Thank you, though, I mean it. I'll just get an Uber."
"Okay, if you're sure. I'll have a look at the car tonight. Considering you're saying it's just the AC, I should be able to get it done by tomorrow"
"Do you need... do you need my number?" she asks, uncertain. Although she knows damn well you're going to need her number. How else are you supposed to contact her regarding her car? More than anything she wants an excuse to keep in touch and she breathes a sigh of relief when you nod in reply.
"That would be helpful, yeah. Save you an unnecessary journey. I'll let you know the damage."
Billie realises that she'll soon run out of excuses to see you once the car is fixed, but she'd have to cross that bridge when she comes to it. She would definitely like to see you again. She waits while you read out her number carefully, wanting to ensure you have it correctly.
"Yes that's just right" she confirms. Her hooded brown eyes looking at your e/c eyes briefly, she can look into your eyes all day.
-
"You what?" Billie's long term best friend, Jennifer asks with a hint of playfulness to her voice and a huge grin plastered on her face. Billie is now regretting even agreeing to playing tennis with her the following afternoon.
"Don't" the blonde warns, swinging the racket nervously in her hands. She's now even more regretting telling her about her hot mechanic now.
"Come on Billie ask her out!"
Billie snaps her head towards her, eyes wide. "Ask her out?' I'm far from my 20s, sugar. I'm not asking anyone out." she tries to play it off cool, flipping her ponytail behind her shoulder.
Her friend was having none of it, of course she wasn't. She bounces the tennis ball on the floor before taking a swing with her racket, still that stupid smug smile on her stupid face. "Come on, you like her" No doubt about that.
Billie shakes her head, quickly dismissing her and quickly hitting the ball back, "She's my mechanic. I met her once." She knows that usually doesn't stop her and the blonde on the other side of the net knows that too.
Jennifer scoffs, "And? Your cheeks blush when you think about her." The ball flies back over to Billie.
"They do not!" she scoffs, her hand touching her warm cheek just to double check, but of course her stupid friend is right. She doesn't see the ball rolling passed her on the ground beside her out of lines.
Her friend picks out a new ball and serves it over the net "Do it for me."
Billie sighs as she hits it back over "I'm not ready for that."
"It's been what, two years? You've got to get over her, Bill," She's right. Her ex was awful, she doesn't know why she's still so hung up over her. It is about time she even attempts to date someone else.
"I guess I can give it a try," she finally says in defeat. Dropping the racket and once again letting the ball roll. She is far too distracted.
"Atta girl," Jen grins again. Billie wonders if that's all she does at this point just to mock her. Grin. "So when are you going to pick your car up?"
"When she-" her mobile vibrates in the bum bag strapped around her waist and she hastily pulls it out hoping it's the woman she's been thinking about all day, "Hello? Yes this is Billie Dean Howard," the blush appears to her cheeks again and her friend only grins widely raising an eyebrow when Billie's lips turn into a smile. Billie quickly swats at her and turns around to hide her face.
"Your cars done. She's a real beauty. Good as new" the blonde hears your voice and feels her knees turn weak again. She can hear you smiling down the phone. She really wants to see you again.
"Thank you so much. I-" she turns around to face Jen again who only nods in approval "I'll come over in about an hour,"
"Brilliant. See you then."
-
Her uber pulls up outside the Magic Hands Repair Shop and her heart is still pounding in her chest. The heat isn't has bad as it was yesterday so she is definitely not counting on passing out again. So what's this? Is she nervous? ...Excited? She's only getting her car. She steps inside and sees you already standing there near the hood of her car. She takes note of your face which she is already quickly regretting and her eyes quickly roam your body. You're so attractive it's hurting her vagina. She shakes her head quickly and strides over, more confidently this time.
"Lovely to have you not passing out on me this time," you smile jokingly, a soft chuckle escaping your lips and if Billie didn't already embarrass herself yesterday she is sure she would do the exact same thing today. She feels her knees becoming weak.
"Maybe next time," her lips purse. Fuck. Why the fuck did she say that?
"Didn't mind carrying you home. Usually wait until I take you out for dinner first." you smirk and the blonde definitely couldn't help the blush that fills her cheeks.
She almost gawps. Your confidence is really taking her off guard. She clears her throat, "The AC?" she takes out her wallet.
"Right," you clap your hands together and turn around to grab her keys, "All fixed. Seriously, it's as good as new." You open the drivers door to her car, and she sits down turning the car on.
"Perfect," she couldn't help a soft moan escaping her lips when the AC springs back to life. The cool air blowing in her face. She's been driving around in Ubers all day and she misses her car so much.. But not as much as she missed seeing you.
"What can I say? I'm good with my hands," you smile at her and if she wasn't already slightly blinded by you in the first place and the fact the sun was surrounding you like a halo she would've seen the slight blush rise in your cheeks.
"Oh, I bet you are," she quips, her confidence coming back in full swing. She smirks at you and you hand her the papers for her to sign, your fingers lightly ghosting hers.
"Sign here and your address here,"
"My address?" She tilts her head but really couldn't stop the smile on her lips. This woman is seriously going to be the death of her.
"So I can pick you up,"
Billies eyebrows raise as she looks at you and a smile plays on her lips as she writes it down. "You can definitely show me how good your hands really are. Pick me up at 7."
''Are you glad you decided on joining us now, Miss Venable?'' Billie mocks, a little smirk visible on her features. You glance at Wilhemina to see her reaction and just like you expected, she simply rolls her eyes at Billie and carries on looking into the distance, the beautiful night sky filled with stars.
It was Cordelia's idea to finally get out the house again and escape the hectic reality and busy days. She kept talking about this place, this incredibly beautiful viewpoint where you can overlook the entire city, she talked about teleporting here often in her teenage years and you immediately wanted to go, from the first second she mentioned it.
Billie would have prefered to stay home and have some fun with her girlfriends but Cordelia's sparkling brown eyes and your puppy eyes were too convincing. To convince Wilhemina was a little challenge however, she likes spending time with you three but climbing a hill just seemed impossible with her back but after Cordelia suggested just teleporting them both up there, she finally gave in.
You glance at the skyscrapers and buildings that are fading into the distance, as the lights of the city slowly dim and the moonlight and stars are coming into view. The wind is howling and sending little shivers through your body, rising goosebumps on your skin but you can't even feel it. Being near Billie, Cordelia and Wilhemina has always kept you warm and made you forget about things like being cold or shivering. Their embrace and the effect they have on you, have always been strong enough to keep you warm, safe and steady and still after all these years, it still feels special to even breathe the same air and live at the same time as they do.
Finally taking your eyes away from the beautiful city that is slowly dying down, people returning home from work to their families or unwinding from their days and the night sky, you glance in between your lovers.
Wilhemina is leaning against the bench and pillows that Cordelia provided for her, she seems relaxed and less tense than usual. The usual little creases in her features are calm, no sign of pain or discomfort visible. You have always admired how strong she is, never letting her diagnosis and back break her and always keeping her head up. Of course there are the dark days, the ugly truth and pain very visible in Wilhemina's features. She would come home after a long day at work and you could tell by just looking at her, without words how bad it is. Silently you would take her into your arms, she would stiffen at first but soon relax in your arms and silently you would walk her to the bathroom and run her a soothing bath for her back, handing her some painkillers and helping her undress.
Wilhemina never liked anyone helping her or learning the truth and she hates admitting the pain. At the beginning, she never let anyone close, never let anyone in but she learnt to understand that, pain isn't weakness and that you would never judge her and only be there to comfort.
Her eyes are focussed on the stars and her head is slightly tilted upwards, exposing her amazing bone structure. Normally Wilhemina always cares so much about her appearance, wearing perfect suits and carefully picked lilac outfits but today she seems relaxed, her hair is beginning to loosen from the tight ponytail. Wilhemina's grip on things is usually strong, a hair tie always gripping strong around her ginger red hair or a hand gripping around yours firmly, showing just how much she needs control and also reflecting her fear of loosing things or things slipping out of her control.
Your attention focusses on Billie as you see how her hand is slowly reaching for the hand of your redhead lover. As your eyes travel from her hand and her delicate manicured fingers reaching for Wilhemina's, you notice her outfit first and the accessoires. Out of all of your girlfriends Billie is the one that cares most about how she looks and her appearance. There are the rare days, where she would walk around home in your sweatpants or one of Wilhemina's sweaters but just like today, she is dressed in a champagne colored blouse, styling it with a long skirt and her iconic white pearl necklace.
Looking at Billie has always felt like a privilege to you, being lucky enough for your eyes to be blessed with a beautiful masterpiece like her. Her blonde hair is falling perfectly and you see it sparkling probably from all the hair spray she put in there and for a moment you chuckle internally, remembering the argument between Billie and Wilhemina just hours ago before coming here, Wilhemina scolding Billie for poisoning the air with the disgusting spray, irritating Wilhemina and Billie just shrugging while spraying some more and admiring herself in the mirror.
Billie decided on her ''everyday'' makeup as she calls it although to you it seems like she is going to a designer show or importing meeting. Her eyes sparkle and you can see the reflection of the moonlight in her brown orbs. You notice her lipstick and the light pink color, matching her perfectly manicured nails and this brings you back to her hands and seeing how her hand is now intertwined with Wilhemina's.
Your heart flutters a bit when you notice these intimate moments between them and whenever you get to witness these little interactions. Billie's nails scratch ever so slightly on Wilhemina's hand and by the occassional smile on the redheads face, you can tell she loves the feeling. Your attention now focusses on your other girlfriend Cordelia, sitting next to you when you feel her slowly pulling you backwards and into her lap.
You let yourself fall backwards slightly, trusting each and every one of them with your life and your back softly hits Cordelia's legs and as you open your eyes you are blessed with her face above you, her brown eyes looking at you and her smiling at you. You can't help but smile, still feeling so utterly in love whenever she takes as much as a glance at you.
Although there is a sky full of stars and a moon shining bright above her and around you, it's impossible to focus on that right now as her eyes lock with yours. It always brings you back to the exact moment when your eyes locked for the first time. You met her a few times before, when you were in your teenage years and occasionally picking up your sister from an all girls school in the summers and you didn't know much about the beautiful blonde stranger but her eyes locking with yours for the first time is something you never forgot, even when the summers ended and your sisters years at the academy came to an end too.
She was always a faint memory and after years you thought you forgot what she looked like as your memories faded but she always stayed with you, sometimes she would visit you in dreams or when your sister spoke about the academy, she was on your mind again. Then one day, after moving back to New Orleans there she was and suddenly she was present on your mind again and as if her stunning appearance never left your brain in the first place.
She was just unpacking groceries with some girls and you almost carried on walking but then her eyes locked with yours and that same smile greeted you again and it was the moment you knew, you would never get sick of that smile that could light up your entire world. Once again you are snapped back into reality as you feel Cordelia's soft hands on your skin, her thumb caressing your cheeks and instantly you smile as soon as you feel her skin come into contact with yours.
''Baby?'' Cordelia's voice suddenly grounds you again, pulling you out of all the flashbacks that have your mind clouded and also remind you it's not a dream and you are currently watching the stars with your three girlfriends.
''Yes?'' you ask and prop yourself up a little, seeing all three of them look at you. ''Your thoughts are so loud it's irritating'' you hear Wilhemina and you can see her disapproving of you clearly being lost in your thoughts but not sharing them with your lovers.
''I'm sorry'' you apologize, leaving Cordelia's lap and sitting up, crossing your legs and looking at the three of them. ''What are you thinking about, honey?'' you hear Billie ask and feel her hand rub your arm in a calming and supporting manner.
''I just-'' you hesitate for a moment, not really knowing what to say and whether to be honest because you know that especially Wilhemina doesn't really like all the ''romantic crap'' as she sometimes refers and you don't want to interrupt this moment by swelling in memories with them.
''It's okay sweetheart, what is it?'' Cordelia now asks after feeling you hesitating and some concern visible in her features. It's a mix of love and hate whenever you see Cordelia's eyebrows furrow, the sharp inhaling of a breath and her mouth slightly open, ready to be there if anything at all is upsetting you. You hate seeing her like this, having you be the reason for the creases in her features and lack of smile but at the same time, before Cordelia you never knew what it would be like to have someone show concern, worry or interest in you so it feels special, it has always been that way.
''What's keeping that pretty little mind of yours occupied?'' Billie asks while lighting a cigarette and you blink a few times, looking at Wilhemina, then Cordelia before saying. ''Nothing, sorry I- just thinking you know'' and you can see both of your blonde girlfriends features relaxing but also Billie's curiosity when she smiles a little.
''What about babydoll?'' she asks while blowing some smoke out and making sure she doesn't blow it in the direction of you three. ''Just thinking about little things'' you state and as you look at Wilhemina you know that whatever she is about to say is very funny in her head and will probably insult one of you three.
Wilhemina would often do this, mid conversation she would think of something that she finds hilarious and she will blurt it out, sometimes she waits a little, just making sure it's actually funny but once you can see that same little smirk, you know she is about to say something. ''So you are thinking about yourself?'' Wilhemina states, looking back up at the sky, pretending not to just have insulted your height.
You chuckle, not feeling offended about the height joke, more loving the little reference to the petname, she has reserved for you and for you only. Little one. ''Do you remember the first time you called me little one?'' you ask, causing Wilhemina's head to lower and her gaze to linger on you. ''Of course I do'' she states and without being able to control it, Billie, Cordelia, Wilhemina and you end up in a flashback and it feels like at the same time you four are pulled into a different reality and experiencing the moment you two just talked about as if it is happening right now.
-Flashback-
Your relationship felt strange at first, after reuniting with Cordelia you basically had no hope of ever being in a relationship. You never really did but when you met Cordelia you kind of hoped, maybe something could happen but when you got to know her better again, learning about all the things that have happened in her life since she last saw you and how she is now in a relationship with not one but two girlfriends, you thought you should give up the thought of dating.
Then however, Cordelia invited you to dinner with the three of them, to get to know them better of course because whenever you would visit her at the academy she would mention them. You felt like an idiot, dressing up in the prettiest piece of clothing you owned at the time, meeting the girlfriends of your crush and having to spend dinner with them. Your insecurities got the better of you and you felt so nervous, barely able to control those shaking hands or blushing cheeks.
However, you had no idea one of her girlfriends is Billie Dean Howard, the Billie that you have watched on your tv screen and binge watched her show for ages, following her on social media and having a crush on her for a long time. You instantly got along well with her, loving her sense of humor and admiring just how classy she is and just loving her aesthetic and how she makes even things you despise like smoking look and feel so damn amazing. Dinner went well, unlike your expectations and you liked the thought of maybe just being friends with them all but then something strange happened, they invited you again and again and then the dinners turned into frequent Friday evening dinners, regular coffee dates and you started to feel like either going insane and reading everything wrong or the two blondes actually liking you a little more than just in a friendship kind of way.
Billie showed her admiration through her eyes and how her brown orbs would be smiling at you. Cordelia on the other hand expressed her admiration through her hands, a hand always resting somewhere near or on you. Wilhemina however seemed like a different story, the first time you met her at that dinner, she hardly spoke to you and you felt intimidated by her and it seemed like she didn't want you there. Her glance seemed so cold and so unlike the other two. You suddenly felt like having dinner with royals and remembering all your table manners and acting so proper. However Billie confessed after a coffee date, that Wilhemina has a huge crush and soft spot for you and you never believed her. You thought she was messing with you that's until Wilhemina invited you for lunch one day on your day off.
You expected to be met with the three of them in a little fancy restaurant but instead you were met with Wilhemina alone. Your heart was beating incredibly fast and you felt scared at first, not sure what to expect until Wilhemina confirmed your prediction. ''My two girlfriends seem to have developed feelings for you'' she stated plainly and without a hint of jealousy, so you felt confident and replied ''I heard you do too'' and without knowing it back then, she loved your confidence in that moment and simply smirked and replied ''How could I not, little one?'' and in that moment, that day she didn't just confirm Billie and Cordelia's affection towards you but also her own and things took it's turn from that day on and started to develop.
-End of flashback-
''Can you believe that was five years ago?'' Cordelia asks, pulling you all out of your flashback and the memories you have of that day and beginning of your relationship.
Billie just finished her cigarette and she flicks it away with such ease, while Wilhemina's eyes are still closed, still thinking about the day she made you theirs and you her very own little one. Seeing Wilhemina emotional and vulnerable happens rarely because even after half a decade of being with you three, she has trouble opening up, still building her walls up high and feeling as if her feelings are stupid or showing emotions is weak even though it's so beautiful and natural to see it and show them.
However you quickly notice her features changing, eyes opening, the same little smirk, alerting you she is about to insult someone yet again. ''I know right, can you believe Miss Howard was able to just settle with us three and not sleep her way across the city?'' Wilhemina says, causing Billie to be the one to roll her eyes this time, while Cordelia chuckles a little, part of her loving Wilhemina's sharp tongue, whenever it doesn't involve herself or actually upsetting anyone.
''Excuse me Miss Venable, are you referring to me as what I think you are implying?'' Billie counters and Wilhemina simply nods while you chuckle. ''I love the interactions between you two'' you state and both of them just smile amused. ''Interactions? you mean arguments?'' Cordelia interrupts.
Just like moments ago you three think of the countless times Billie and Wilhemina have argued and caused trouble in your relationship for a while. Often it would be teasing and them not actually meaning a single word they are saying, just like tonight but there were the times especially at the beginning when those two would argue for hours, one of them being annoyed with the other one and both unable to just get out of each others sight and calm down. Cordelia would always be the one to calm the storm and get those two to agree and eventually one of them to give in.
''We have had our ups and downs didn't we?'' Billie says while looking into the distance again, remembering the struggles you have went through together. The truth is, although their relationship seemed intact before you came along, it wasn't, Wilhemina couldn't handle her pains, Billie couldn't handle the feeling of something missing and Cordelia couldn't handle Billie and Wilhemina's troubles and so you joined at the best time possible.
''You saved us you know, little one'' Wilhemina states and suddenly three heads turn into her direction, surprised at the sudden statement and deeper meaning to it. Cordelia nods, knowing that all along you were the missing piece, the sunshine of their lives, bringing joy, happiness and a little bit of youth into the relationship, taking away all the hectic and harshness of their lives away. All of them had a lot on their plates back then and still do now, Cordelia being the one to lead an academy for witches and being the most powerful witch on earth, carrying a whole lot on her plate. Billie being a medium and constantly being around spirits, only able to help some of them but never able to save any of them, as well as running her show. Wilhemina constantly reminded of her back and also having to deal with a lot at work and two idiot bosses.
You noticed the stress they were under and so you tried to take every little daily thing, they would usually worry about, away from them. Always preparing three sets of lunches in the morning, you never mind getting up very early, before 5am even on your days off to make them some sandwiches and prepare three bags with little notes and three mugs of warm coffee in the morning. You would always make sure the apartment is clean and tidy, you would take care of the shopping, making sure the apartment looks and smells amazing. Preparing Mina's bath, dinner for the three of them, it all became a routine but you liked doing it and they never took it for granted and still to this day they never do take you or the things you do for granted although you all learnt to support each other and take a small part in your lives together and take care of each other.
Involuntarily, you shake your head to Mina's original statement about saving them and of course Cordelia notices that. ''You did baby, you saved us and you waltzed into our lives when we needed you'' she reminds you, the sincerity in her eyes, a sign she isn't lying.
''No Delia, you saved me'' you state and while feeling some tears swell in your eyes, you remember your life before meeting them.
Everyone you have known in your life up the point before meeting Cordelia, Wilhemina and Billie always had their lives together. No matter if it was your parents, always working hard and making sure you and your siblings are provided for or your sister, being a witch and after attending the academy, heading her own way and studying witchcraft in a different state and building her own life.
Everyone around you seemed to always know what to do with their lives, having visions and goals and working hard to achieve them. You however had no idea, you were never like that. Knowing what job you want to work as and having colleges and universities ready or places to apply to, you never really knew what you wanted out of life apart from belonging. Even in a family of five, you never felt a sense of belonging, they loved you of course they did but you were just a daughter, a sister and you felt like a side character in everyones story. ''Poor Y/N'', the daughter that failed her parents by not knowing what she wanted out of life, the sister that didn't follow in her sisters path or the disappointment to your grandparents by not following into their footsteps and not having salem blood and magic.
You struggled with yourself for a while, getting a degree, solely for the purpose of doing something and doing side jobs here and there to pay the pills until you decided it was time to leave your old home town, sick of always being the black sheep and standing in everyone's shadows. You did it, you moved out to New Orleans. Although having no idea of the place or what it would be like, you remembered the hot summers, whenever your family would drive down here and pick up your sister from the academy, the beautiful streets and architecture and so you followed to where your heart told you to go and took a train, never looking or thinking about going back ever again.
But from a family of five, moving into a tiny apartment on yourself and working in a coffee shop or helping in the mall sometimes, it's a huge difference and you felt so lonely. All those nights on your sofa, debating everything in your life and sometimes especially in those dark and lonely nights, even debating the purpose of your life.
That's until you bumped into Cordelia that one day and your life taking a 360 degree turn from laying eyes on her again, unloading groceries with some girls and shortly after meeting Billie and Wilhemina. They indeed were the ones that saved you, all the attention they continue to give you each and every single day. Even the small things like all three of them asking how your day was as soon as you return from work, even though they heard you say it to one of the others, they just wanted to hear it from you again.
The little things like, whenever you walk into the place seeing Delia smile and walk over, pulling you into a hug, walking into the living room after and seeing Mina do some knitting or other things important to her like reading or watching the history channel, she would always stop what she is doing and pull you closer, asking how you are and truly meaning it, before Billie would run inside after having a smoke on the balcony and also wanting some of her babydoll. They pamper you with their love and affection and at first it felt so overwhelming, never having anyone ask you how you are and genuinely meaning it before or let alone taking time out of their day to speak to you. They all made you their little priority in their own ways and whenever you think about that and how your life was like before meeting them, it brings tears into your eyes.
At first it would be fears, the fear of being alone again, them leaving or it all being a dream but they reassured you throughout all these years, that you won't be alone again and that they will be yours forever and so the tears now rolling down your cheeks aren't from fear they are happy ones, feeling so grateful to have met them.
''Sweetheart, don't cry'' Cordelia whispers, hating to see you, one of the most precious things in her life like this. Billie instantly turns to you once she hears Cordelia's words and frowns ''Babydoll'' she whispers and tilts her head to the side a little.
Through your blurry vision, you see Wilhemina look at you with an expression that you can't quite make out. After blinking the tears away and Cordelia and Billie almost at the same time wipe them away, having Billie's hand on your left cheek rubbing slow circles on it and Cordelia's hand on your right, holding you gently, you take a deep breath.
''Wilhemina are you crying??'' you suddenly hear Billie say and instantly snap your eyes open, because although having two very emotional blonde girlfriends, the redhead rarely shows emotions or pain and you have only seen her cry once when her back was particularly hurting.
''Allergies'' Wilhemina replies and wipes her eyes, turning her head back around to look at the view in front of her. Without words, Billie, Cordelia and you manage to communicate and let each other know it's obviously not allergies because first of all Wilhemina doesn't have any and secondly, the only time you actually saw her crying, she also said it was allergies at first.
''You try talking to her'' Billie mouths and you nod ''I'm just going to get those extra blankets that are in the car'' Cordelia states and gets up, before Billie follows her ''Going with you, incase you need help'' Billie adds and also leaves you and Wilhemina.
You look at your girlfriend but her head is turned the other way. ''Mina?'' you ask gently, barely above a whisper. ''Yes little one?'' she asks and by the raspiness in her voice you can tell she is trying hard not to cry. ''Did I upset you?'' you ask carefully, unsure why she seems so sad.
''No little one you didn't'' she replies and turns her head and looks at you with glassy eyes. ''I- don't understand'' you say and move closer to her. ''It's just.. it's true little one, you did save us and you also saved me you know'' she adds and you look at her with a confused expression because she hasn't said these words out loud before.
''I was struggling a lot back then, with my pains and also...'' she pauses a minute and takes a deep breath. ''Sometimes I felt like giving up and when you waltzed in I didn't just get along better with Delia and Billie, I didn't feel like giving up anymore, because I have you'' she finishes.
Your mouth is slightly parted and you feel your heart skipping a beat, not just because these moments with her are rare but also because you never knew Mina struggled like that in the past. ''I'm so happy that you don't feel that way anymore Mina'' you reply with a smile and Wilhemina also smiles and you rest your head on her shoulder carefully.
She pulls you a little closer and she pokes your nose and whispers ''You are my little sunshine'' and you look into her brown orbs before her head moves closer and her lips are so close. Before you know it, you feel your lips on hers and ever since kissing them for the first time, you knew all along with Billie's and Delia's they would be the only lips you would want to kiss for the rest of your life.
''Look at our two lovebirds'' Billie mocks and Cordelia simply rolls her eyes and punches Billie in a playful way before handing you and Wilhemina some blankets. You end up still snuggled next to Mina with her fluffy purple blanket that she knitted, covering you two and Billie and Cordelia also share one of Mina's knitted blankets and sit across from you two, so you can all look at each other.
Cordelia lights a little fire with her magic, so you can all get a bit warmer as it is now starting to get colder. ''So why were you crying darling?'' Billie asks and looks at Wilhemina and you. ''Leave her alone Billie'' you defend your girlfriend and Billie simply rolls her eyes, while Wilhemina reaches for your hand under the blanket in a thanking manner.
''Do you know what this night reminds me of?'' Cordelia starts trailing off ''What?'' you ask and she replies ''Our first vacation'' and Wilhemina scoffs, before you and Billie look at each other before bursting out laughing, pulled into another flashback of your first vacation, in your second year of dating.
-Flashback-
''Billie where is that damn sunscreen you packed?'' Wilhemina curses before Billie throws the bottle halfway across the room, from the bathroom only for it to spray across the entire hotel room. ''Oh my god ew'' you shout, now completely covered in sunscreen.
''I swear I will kill her'' Wilhemina hisses and Cordelia simply fixes it with a flick of her wrist and magic. ''Your magic can't always solve everything Cordelia you do know that right?'' Wilhemina argues and adds ''Where are we supposed to get sunscreen from now hm?'' she asks and you simply put your hand on her shoulder and say ''Calm down Mina our hotel has a little shop we can go and buy some new ones'' you try and calm her down.
''Fine'' she says and you walk into the little shop to buy some more. ''I will kill her one day you know'' Wilhemina says and you simply chuckle ''Well hopefully not I need my Billie'' you answer and Wilhemina rolls her eyes. As Wilhemina picks out some sunscreen you take a look around, only to find some water-guns. You pick up a few and look at Wilhemina, only for her to raise an eyebrow and knowing exactly what you are suggesting, without even saying anything.
''Fine come on'' she says and you chuckle, excited like a little child. As soon as you purchased the water-guns, you walk to the nearest bathroom only to fill them up. Thankfully you four decided to book this holiday while not a lot of people are around so you had the place to yourself. ''Shh they will hear us, your cane will give it away'' you scold Wilhemina as she almost ruins the plan of surprising Cordelia and Billie with some water.
''Okay okay'' Wilhemina says and you two try your hardest to sneak up on them two, now lying by the pool, just tanning with their sunglasses on and eyes closed. ''Now'' you whisper and you and Wilhemina start spraying them with the water ''Ow oh my god'' Cordelia squeals and Billie instantly gets up and runs away so you can't spray her. ''No no no my hair and makeup'' she argues and stomps her foot on the floor.
That doesn't keep you and Wilhemina to continue spraying her. Cordelia simply chuckles, liking the refreshing cold water on her skin, she teleports behind you and whispers ''Your turn sweetheart'' before pushing you into the pool. She steals your gun and starts spraying Wilhemina, before teleporting behind Billie and also pushing her into the pool. ''Cordelia Goode'' Billie screams and squeals and your stomach hurts from all the laughing, watching your three girlfriends having a water-gun fight and Cordelia abusing her powers.
-End of flashback-
''You ruined that holiday by ruining my perfect hair and makeup'' Billie states, pulling the rest of you three out of your flashback and the memories. ''I loved that holiday'' Cordelia replies and smiles fondly.
''I quite enjoyed it too'' Wilhemina states and grins at Billie. ''Oh come on Wilhemina you only liked it because you got to spray me with water and watching Miss Supreme over here, push me into a pool'' and Wilhemina simply smirks because Billie's words are indeed correct. ''We should go on another holiday this year'' you add and Cordelia nods ''That would be nice''.
Billie starts yawning and you have a feeling this night will end soon, because if Billie starts getting tired, there is no trying to keep her awake or convincing her because she would quite literally fall asleep anywhere. ''Someone is getting sleepy'' Cordelia whispers and smiles at Billie and you see Billie blushing and turning away.
''I am not tired Cordelia'' she tries to convince everyone including herself. ''Sure darling'' Wilhemina replies with a hint of sarcasm in her voice. ''We should be going home soon, after all I have to be at the academy tomorrow'' Cordelia states and you simply nod, not ready for this to be over but grateful at the same time for the little escape from reality and the busy days and knowing everything must come to an end eventually.
''I really enjoyed tonight'' you mumble and Wilhemina pulls you closer ''I did too little one'' and Cordelia frowns ''Well hello I am the one who had the idea remember'' and you chuckle and move towards Delia.
''I know Delia and it was great, I loved it thank you'' before kissing her. Billie looks at you with a raised eyebrow and you know she feels excluded and also wants a kiss, so you do as she expects of you. ''You know me so well babydoll'' she states after you let go from the kiss.
''Now let's pack up'' Cordelia says and everyone starts moving but you stop them ''Hold on'' you say and all of them look at you full of expectation. ''I- I love you three so much'' you say and they all look at you with so much adoration and love
''You are adorable babydoll, I love you too'' she says and kisses you, before taking her blanket and lighting a cigarette. ''We love you too sweetheart'' Delia reminds you before also retrieving your stuff.
Wilhemina tries to get up a bit awkwardly but your hand is right there, helping her up and once she is stable and holding onto her cane she looks at you and her eyes express gratitude. ''I love you little one'' she whispers as you walk hand in hand towards Cordelia, ready to teleport Mina back to the car.
As you all end up in Delia's car, Cordelia driving and focussing on the road, Billie falling asleep next to you in the back and Mina carefully observing the road, your heart feels the same familiar feeling like at the beginning of your night. Gratitude and happiness to be loved and in love with such great women and so happy about this night and being able to reflect on your years with them together and as you look out the window and up at the sky, you see a little shooting star and you quickly close your eyes and think to yourself ''To many more years with my girls''.
Inspired by the song “Hold on” by Chord Overstreet
TW: angst, suicide, overdose on pills, death,
Word Count: 1604
Tossing and turning in your bed for the past five hours seems nothing out of the ordinary lately, especially after the arguments you have with your girlfriend about work. She is sleeping soundly beside you though, her honey blonde locks sprawled out beneath her, her hand resting underneath her left cheek, her mouth parted slightly as little snores escape her lips. You just look at her, watching her chest rise and fall as she sleeps. Her left hand coming up towards her cheek, her nails scratching over it before flopping back down on the bed.
Countless nights you find yourself in this very same position, feeling so tired but not able to sleep. Usually, you have no trouble falling asleep with the blonde by your side, though, but for some reason, tonight wasn't a good night.
You figure it's your thoughts keeping you awake, although your mind seems pretty empty right now, only the ticking of the clock distracting you momentarily before you position your body to look up at the dark ceiling. What went wrong? You had argued again. That's why you're not asleep, right? Billie has to go away for work again in a few weeks and she has to share a hotel room with her new assistant. You accused her of cheating on you, but she only denied it and that had only set off a jealous rage inside you.
The blowing of the wind distracts you this time and you focus your attention on that. The leaves on the trees rustling outside, occasionally the branches hitting off the window. Then you can hear the motor of a car passing by; its passengers probably coming home from a late party or starting an early shift at work. The ticking from the clock grabs your attention again and you look over at it. The headlights from the cars passing by making the room just bright enough so you can read it. 4 am.
You turn your head again to look at your girlfriend. You don't want to wake Billie. Not while she looks so comfortable whilst sleeping and you don't want to disturb her. Especially since this is your own fault. You started the argument in the first place.
So instead, you slowly get up out of bed and make your way over to the bathroom at the other end of the hall. Your feet padding along the wooden floors as you guide your way there, hitting the light switch as you enter. You close your eyes almost instantly, though, the brightness blinding you for a moment before you open them again.
You shut the door, locking it behind you and look at yourself in the mirror. You squint your eyes as you notice the large bags under them and realise you've forgotten to remove your makeup, so it's smudged. You grab a hair tie from the counter and tie your hair up before washing your face with some ice-cold water, hoping it will wake you up a little. It doesn't help though, as you still feel as drowsy as before.
The sight of the medicine cabinet catches your gaze and you open it wearily eyeing the bottle of sleeping pills before grabbing it, popping off the cap, shaking a pill out and throwing it into your mouth. You look at yourself in the mirror again. You're so drained. Without hesitating, you empty the rest of the bottle in your hands and play with them in your palm as you watch at them as if they're going to come alive and do something. You empty the cup that holds your toothbrushes in and the items scatter in the sink before you fill it up with water and you take all the pills.
You sit down on the cold, white marble tiles and look up at the ceiling, somehow feeling safe now as if nothing can hurt you. You begin to feel dizzier and lay down on the tiles, the coolness only calming you further as you rest on the ground. You can feel your body weakening. This is it.
Until a gentle knock brought you back to reality. "Are you ok, baby?" Billie's voice is only laced with concern as she jiggles the handle again. "Darling?" She repeats a couple of times. You don't want to reply and hope that she will go back to bed. You don't want to see her because you know that you will regret what you had done if you do. The knocking got louder and suddenly the door was broken down. You look up and in the midst of blurriness saw Billie's confused and frustrated face. "What on earth?" she rushes down by your side and lifts your head up into her lap, stroking your cheek gently. "What happened?" she asks.
"I'm sorry," you say, tears now forming in your deliriously tired eyes.
Billie only looks at you even more confused, the concern quickly coming back "Why are you sorry?" Your gaze lingers behind her on the counter up at the bottle of pills and she looks at it as well. "Shit!" she exclaims, realising what you had done and what was going to happen.
She leaves for only 7 seconds as she fumbles around looking for her phone and quickly returns into the bathroom, the phone to her ear "Yes, she's still conscious. Ok." She says in a frantic voice. She's shaking. You've never seen her so scared before. "I've called an ambulance. Sweetheart, why did you do this? Haven't I been supportive enough? Is it my fault?" she asks, breathing heavily. You shake your head but didn't utter a word. You feel your heart rate increase and skip a couple of beats and you begin to tremor, your vision blurs a little and you start to feel very dizzy. "Stay with me. Only for a few more minutes," she says as she kisses you on the forehead. Her hand finding yours before gripping it tightly. "Hold on." Your eyes begin flickering shut, but you try to keep them open just to see her. A tear runs down her face, all of a sudden you're filled with regret. How could you do such a thing? You loved her. Why had you forgotten that? You are never going to wake up to her beautiful face again, never going to go out for a walk with her again. You had told each other that you are going to spend your lives together and grow old together, but you've destroyed that promise. You're a horrible person.
You feel yourself get more and more exhausted. "I'm sorry," you mumble.
Billie looks down at you and takes both of your hands up and kisses them repeatedly. "I love you. I'm so sorry I wasn't a better friend and girlfriend," she stutters now crying harder.
"Don't be. You're the best thing that's ever happened to me," you state with your frail voice. Breathing felt like it was getting harder by the second.
"Hold on please, I need you," she pleads, tears spluttering down onto her shirt as sobs wrack through her body, "They'll be here soon."
"I love you," you say as you know it will be the last time. Her brown eyes are glistening with tears and you feel your heart get weaker.
This is it
Those few seconds before you died, you could still hear Billie's tender voice. You also felt her grip around your hand getting tighter as she watched you dose off. "I love you, I love you, I love you," she exclaims with her trembling voice. That was the last thing you ever heard. The last thing you ever felt. It was the end.
The highway seems long and endless as the ambulance rushes to the hospital. The paramedics have managed to revive you enough for your heart to start again. Billie is still holding onto your hand, never wanting to let go, silently praying that the light isn't fading, trying to hide the shock that she feels in her bones.
When you finally arrive, they take you away on a table. Billie paces back and forth as you lay in the bed, her gaze fixated on you from the window, the machine flatlining again. "Please don't leave me." her mind screams. The Nurses and the Doctor rushes into the room as they try to find your heartbeat. But they don't. You're gone. Time of death 5:17 am.
Billie is allowed to have a moment with you before they have to take you away to the morgue. "Come back," she begs, her voice feels as if it's stuck in her throat. She closes her eyes as the tears freely escape, her nightmare becoming reality. She leans over, cuddling you, her head laying on your chest hoping to hear the beating of your heart, but it never comes. "I just want to take you home." she pleads, the sobs only breaking you as you watch from the other side of the room.
"I'm here," you whisper
"I want you alive," she states as she turns her head to catch sight of you. "I want you. Come back."
"I can't" you shake your head but you step closer towards her
"Let me take your hand, I'll make it right. I swear to love you all my life." she sits up grabbing your hand.
"Billie." you sigh, your eyes pleading with her, "You've got to let go."
"I don't want to. I can't imagine a world without you in it. I just need to hear you say "Baby let's go home." And that this wasn't real."
Please make the Cordelia showing her gfs a new magic trick into a fic.
Cordelia Goode x Wilhemina Venable x Billie Dean Howard x Reader- Tainting
TW: cursing, mention of smut
You wake up to the sun rising, birds tweeting outside the window and feeling a set of warm arms wrapped around you. Sleepily you open your eyes only to see it's Billie next to you, scrolling on her phone while holding you close. ''Good morning babydoll'' she says softly and puts her phone down. ''Morning Billie'' you say, your voice still sounding a bit croaky from just waking up. ''Are Mina and Delia at work already?'' you ask not actually remembering what your other two girlfriends said about work today. ''Yeah they left babydoll, which means I got you all to myself today'' the medium replies with a smirk and you chuckle. You stay in each others arms for a while, just enjoying the company of Billie because usually she would also be up and at work quite early in the morning, either in meetings or filming her show so you enjoy some alone time with her on your day off. ''Now how about breakfast Miss Howard?'' you ask and Billie replies ''Well I had something in mind'' looking up and down your body and biting her lip but you shake your head with a smile. ''Not now Miss Howard'' and you get up and walk into the kitchen and before walking off you say ''Maybe if you behave'' with a wink and Billie is quick to get out of bed and follow you
She chases you around the house and kitchen and wraps her arms around you from behind, kissing your cheek and turning you around. ''Don't be naughty kitten'' but you argue ''Naughty? I'm making you breakfast right now'' and Billie simply smirks before walking off, swaying her hips more than necessary and walking to the balcony to have cigarette. You can see her lighting it through the window and you can't help but stare at her while you get the necessary ingredients for breakfast. She looks stunning, even after waking up, without makeup and her hair a bit messy but she looks beautiful. You start mixing the ingredients into a bowl to make pancakes. ''What are you making kitten?'' Billie asks after coming back and sitting by the kitchen island. ''Pancakes'' you explain while trying to concentrate on filling it evenly into a pan. ''Yes I fucking love your pancakes'' Billie says and you chuckle a little while making some coffee for you and your girlfriend. After the pancakes are finished you set two plates on the island and sit opposite Billie. She takes a few bites and moans at the taste but she does it to annoy you, because she knows you hate whenever she makes those sounds and it's not in the bedroom. ''These are so fucking good'' she says and you smile and reply ''Mina would be mad at you right now'' and Billie furrows her eyebrows ''Why?'' and you explain ''You know she hates cursing'' and Billie rolls her eyes ''Well can you see her anywhere? No'' the blonde replies causing you to simply chuckle and carry on eating. ''Mina is a huge fucking hypocrite anyway'' Billie adds
After cleaning the kitchen and Billie barely able to keep her hands off you, you just made it to the sofa before Billie straddled you and started attacking you with kisses. ''I love having my babydoll all to myself'' she whispers in your ear while trailing kisses down your neck. You breathe heavy while Billie carries on making out with you. The two of you ended up spending quite a few hours on that sofa and you both ended up so sweaty that you took a shower together and the fun carried on in there. ''Mommy's gonna need a fucking cigarette after this babydoll'' she sighs and walks out the bathroom in her bathrobe, towel wrapped around her head and swaying her hips on the way to the balcony again. As you take a look at the time your eyes widen realizing you and Billie were at this for hours and Cordelia would return from the academy soon. Quickly you walk around the apartment and you pick up any rubbish or towels or Billie's lingerie on the floor and you tidy up. And just in time before the supreme enters after a long day at the academy. ''Hi Delia'' you say excitedly and she smiles lovingly at you ''Hello sweetheart'' she says before placing a gentle kiss on your lips. ''I missed you Delia'' you admit and Cordelia's eyes lock with yours. ''I missed you too sweetie'' she says and Billie walks in ''Well rude I thought you enjoyed my company today babydoll'' and you roll your eyes playfully while Billie greets Cordelia with a quick kiss on the lips. ''So what have you two been up to?'' Cordelia asks but Billie is quick to head to the sofa and watch her tv show as if nothing happened. ''Well I am going to make dinner for when Mina is back'' you say also not wanting to tell her you have mostly been doing each other all day. ''Well I see'' Cordelia says a bit flustered, her cheeks red.
You prepared some of Mina's favorite pasta, feeling bad that she always has to work so long and so much all day and hoping you could cheer up her day a little. Before you know it she is home and as you bring the food and plates into the dining room your three girlfriends are all there together. Delia is reading something, Billie watching her show and Wilhemina sitting by the table. ''Oh Hi Mina, I missed you'' you say and place a kiss on her lips. ''I missed you too little one'' she says and you ask ''How was your day?'' and she replies ''Good apart from the two idiots'' indicating her bosses. ''Dinner is done'' you shout, letting your other two girlfriends know. ''Hmm smells delicious sweetheart'' Cordelia says, kissing your cheek and Billie just still focussed on her show. ''Mind turning that show off Miss Howard?'' Wilhemina asks now a bit annoyed, just wanting to eat your food already. ''Okay okay calm down babydoll'' she says wanting to annoy Wilhemina with the petname and Mina simply rolling her eyes in a playful way. You four enjoy dinner, everyone talking about their days apart from you and Billie avoiding to actually say what you did all day. Mina talks about some upcoming projects at her work and her idiot bosses. Cordelia talking about Madison getting on her nerves and new students at the academy ''By the way after dinner I gotta show you this magic trick Zoe showed me'' Cordelia says and smiles. ''Cordelia you know I don't like all the magic stuff'' Wilhemina hisses but the supreme defends herself ''Wilhemina you only don't like the magic stuff when it doesn't involve sex'' and you and Billie glance at each other, trying hard not to laugh after Wilhemina just got absolutely roasted by Cordelia. After dinner, Billie helps you clean up, while Wilhemina takes a bath and Cordelia prepares to show you the magic tricks she discovered.
''Okay I will need a glass of water'' Cordelia says having prepared for the tricks to show you. You quickly get her one and you, Billie and Wilhemina all sit on the sofa, while Cordelia stands a few feet away with a cup of water on the sofa table. Wilhemina looks very displeased and not amused because like Cordelia said she only enjoys magical tricks that include orgasms. Billie is very excited and so are you because Cordelia doesn't usually show off anything especially not her magic so this must be exciting. Cordelia moves her hands and with a flick or her wrist the water shoots up in the air as if it's frozen and suddenly the water turns into shapes like little dolphins and letters or shapes like hearts and all that without spilling anywhere. Both yours and Billie's mouth is open, never having seen such cool magic before apart from the rose color changing spell and Wilhemina trying hard to stay unimpressed but it's obvious she also thinks it's amazing. Delia finishes the spell with a proud smile and making the water split in three heart shapes, making them fly towards you three in your favorite colors before dropping it all in the glass again and just like that there is the glass of water again as if nothing happened. Billie blinks a few times unable to believe this and after you can finally muster up a reply you say ''Cordelia that was so fucking cool oh my god'' and Cordelia simply smiles proudly while Wilhemina glares directly at Billie. ''What?'' the medium asks shrugging her shoulders. ''You tainted her'' Wilhemina states and snaps her head in the other direction. Not only hating anyone cursing, apart from herself but especially when you do it because she thinks you are way too pure and innocent and her putting the entire blame on Billie for this. ''Excuse me I have done nothing of such sorts'' Billie plays with her nails and tries to brush Wilhemina's comment off. ''Of course you have Billie, that foul mouth of yours constantly teaches her these words'' Wilhemina snaps and you and Cordelia just look at each other, not sure what to actually say. ''Well usually you like that foul mouth of mine Wilhemina especially when you beg me to eat you out'' Billie says and you simply try and not laugh because Wilhemina might actually kill you. ''I-'' Wilhemina says unable to even comprehend Billie's words let alone form a reply. ''Now come on you two, how about we just enjoy our evening together'' Cordelia suggests not wanting any arguing to happen, although she internally agrees with Mina because Billie really does have a foul mouth sometimes. ''I agree, how about movies and dessert?'' you ask excitedly almost sounding like a child. What you fail to see is that Wilhemina, Cordelia and Billie all looked at each other in the same moment when you mentioned dessert. ''How about we go to bed instead sweetheart?'' Cordelia asks, walking towards you while biting her lip and your insides flutters when you see her looking at you with bedroom eyes. ''Um yeah that actually sounds better'' you say and the three of them chuckle while following you into the bedroom.
