Breaking for Daddy
So before I began last night’s training I turned my computer off. I didn’t need it for my training (I was using my laptop) and it was so hot that the computer was making things uncomfortable. This meant I wasn’t able to post my write up yesterday which turned out to be a very good thing because I’m not sure how coherent it would have been.
Goddess gave me the details of what I would be doing on Thursday night, which meant I spent Friday in a state of serious aroused anticipation, but before she started giving me the details she outright told me that this task would break me.
This made me feel a little nervous throughout Friday. Not about whatever the effects of my training would be, but what if it didn’t work because I failed? If I misunderstood my instructions or just wasn’t good enough or something along those lines. I wasn’t sitting there panicking but I was a little concerned.
My training involved a little effort to set up and I ended up moving some furniture around a little to give me a set up that worked. There were quite a few parts to it. I was playing a specific hypno file while I watched glory-hole videos and sucked on one of my dildos (suctioned to the furniture I’d moved). Goddess wanted me kneeling or squatting, playing with my nipples and after every c*mshot I had to say thank you.
Once I was ready and everything was set up, I got started. I fiddled with the volumes a little so nothing was too loud, I wanted the hypno file as the main soundtrack but wanted to hear the videos too.
I watched the first video, there was a few minutes of “story” and then a few minutes of the model performing for the camera, I usually enjoy watching bimbos perform like this, it lets me pick up tips for how to move but I was soooo eager to get to the c*ck I skipped it. When it started, I started and I felt like I was really getting into the groove, then the video ended without a c*mshot and I felt a bit cheated. I tried the next and it was the same.
In the past, this is the point where I’d have started to panic and probably send a SOS to Goddess but I’ve run into these kind of speed bumps before (see a few weeks ago where I spent 4 hours trying to cam with a guy!) and I know that Goddess doesn’t set me impossible tasks just so I’ll fail. I kept calm and checked my instructions again. Goddess had told me the studio and type of videos to use but when I searched the ones that came up were more previews that didn’t show what I needed.
I started checking other porn sites looking for full scenes until eventually i realized the important parts of what Goddess had told me: bimbo, glory-hole, cocks, c*mshots and I decided that finding something that covered these was the best plan, which turned out to be very easy! I found a wonderful bimbo glory-hole video with a lot of c*mshots (the video and the bimbo were wonderful!) and started again.
I got into it a lot quicker this time (my warm up must have helped) and everything was working really well and then I just...broke. When Goddess told me it would happen, I assumed she meant shatter but it was more like I just disappeared for a while (I think about 20 minutes) and there was just all the cocks and a hole that was either filled or saying thank you.
It’s difficult to get what it was like across in text, I sat with it last night after I’d finished and all today and this is the best way I’ve come up with to describe it.
It was humbling and really inspiring, it felt like Goddess made me a bimbo for a while, just a blank and empty thing purely functioning on desire and I wanted it SO MUCH.