#birds asks

[uh-oh-its-bird]

answer my ask you fucking gay bird

💅

[oh-no-its-bird]

Why are obito's tits so big? For other men to grab? 🤨

[oh-no-its-bird]

why’s kakashi’s waist so small? for other men to grab?🤨

-Obito talking to himself in a mirror at 5am after four all nighters in a row (time well spent doing Terrorism(tm)), gripping the mirror frame so hard the glass is starting to crack.

[oh-no-its-bird]

yk i wonder if kakashi DOES in fact have clan tattoos but they’re just on his torso and legs

Kakashi clan tattoo tramp stamp

[oh-no-its-bird]

Doodle idea

Teething kakashi just chomping down on anything and anyone just like puppies do

He immediately chooses the worst possible items to chew on

[oh-no-its-bird]

kakashi seems like the type to convince people that he has a twin when he doesn’t

The twin in question is Sukea, who team 7 "discovers" is Kakashi's totally legit secret twin when, through some convoluted reasons, Sukea's disguise gets pulled off.

Kakashi, lying his absolute ASS off, manages to convince them that he, Sukea, as Kakashi's twin, has been helping him fuck with them all. At first, team 7 is mad-- then they get excited. Surely, if they're twins, this means they share the same face? So isn't looking at Sukea basically the same as looking at their teacher?

Only Sukea is oh-so-sad to inform them that actually he and Kakashi aren't identical twins, and while the upper halves of their face bear a similarity, they actually look super different on the lower half </3

Sorry kiddos!

Unironically tho, Kakashi convincing people he has a twin then using that opportunity to walk around maskless-- purely because no one believes he'd ever do that, sounds really funny.

[oh-no-its-bird]

yk i don’t rlly like when ppl say kakashi should’ve adopted naruto right after the kyuubi attack like im sorry but i don’t think a very depressed and some what suicidal 14 year old in ninja black ops should be taking care of an infant

Personally I think we should definitely give the magical, widely hated demon baby to the 14 year old suicidal assassin with insane hang ups and complexes on every family figure he's ever had in his life + his own absolutely horrible reputation among almost every person he knows save a group of like 3-5 of his old schoolmates.

What could possibly go wrong? The answer is so, so much. And we get front row seats!

Sorry Kakashi.

Anyways my favorite versions of this au is when he finally cracks and runs away from the village with Naruto under his arm.

And also him taking care of Naruto allows Gai an excuse to further bully his way back into Kakashi's life as he offers to babysit / help with the baby, which Kakashi has no idea how to take care of and is so overwhelmed he might, for the first time ever, be forced to accept that offered hand. Only Gai,,, also isn't too sure how to take care of a baby. Luckily Genma knows, and so he's getting dragged into this mess too now. Yay!

POV you are Genma and you wake up at 3am in the morning to find 14 year old, friend killer Hatake Kakashi looming over your bed holding a baby with glowing eyes. By the time you finish your terrified reflexive screaming (very embarrassing. Genma denies this happened) you realize Kakashi is literally shaking from stress and fear, and he's here-- somehow, for some reason-- for your help. Because Genma is the only person Kakashi knows who is,

a) not close enough to Minato or Kushina to make Kakashi spiral if he's placed in a room in and forced to ask for help from

b) Has a history of being more of a neutral party back at the academy, and seems neutral on both Kakashi and Naruto's reputations

c) Kakashi has seen taking care of a baby, a tiny little cousin of Genma's Kakashi only ever saw once-- but remembered abruptly when he was sinking into his fith spiral of the day, tired and distressed and just so desperate to make Naruto stop crying

Anyways. Genma, Gai and Kakashi raising Naruto. Is my conclusion on one of the options I can see of this getting a happy ending.

[oh-no-its-bird]

PLEASE I BEG YOU PLEASE SHARE MORE ABOUT BABY SAKUMO AND HIW HE WAS TEATED IN THE FAMILY!! OR BABY KAKASHI!!

I want to see those two meet the family they were too late have

Sakumo is very beloved by everyone in the clan (even if some aren't supposed to be around him alone because they want to bite his cute little face)

He's everyone's favorite little guy, and the first child born since Kurumi, who is well over 10 years old by the time he's born. Everyone regards him as a little miracle and a clear sign from the fates that coming to Konoha was a good idea.

Of course, any child born into the clan would be adored by all of the Hatake, but the fact that he's the son of their clan head also adds to the miracle of his birth— Haruka is supposed to be infertile (something she openly jokes about, considering her sister had 4 children) and she is also much beloved by the clan. So of course any child of hers will be placed on a pedestal by all of the Hatake.

It's also been quite a few generations since the Hatake have had an actual blood descendant of the clan head as a clan heir. Haruka was essentially elected into the position some decades back, Tetsuo was chosen by her for his spirit, and if Sakumo hasn't been born it's likely one of the twins would have been given the position after Tetsuo— So many of the Hatake are excited by the prospect of Sakumo being their blood heir, something they haven't had in any of their recent memories.

Also he's cute. He's really, really cute. Everyone is obsessed with how cute he is. They are switching back and forth between jealously guarding him away from the dangers of the village and screaming about how cute and perfect he is from the rooftops as they hold him up to the sky Simba style

The entire clan is pretty much convinced he is the most perfect baby in the entire world and their sign from the gods that their clan will find prosperity in this new age