#bisexual lives

[readingbibooks]

“There was I, a seasoned lesbian activist, having done a lot of work in the lesbian and gay movement, suddenly being told that bisexuality is ‘just a phase’ that people go through in their way to being ‘completely’ lesbian or gay. I was told that bisexuality is a cop-out, used by people who want to sleep with people of their own sex but don’t want to come out, let alone do anything to make it easier for other people. Bisexuals were freeloaders, cashing in on the gains fought for by lesbians and gay men. We were, variously, trendies (really straight), fence-sitters, utopians who claim that EVERYONE is really bisexual and thereby endanger the identities lesbians and gay men have worked so hard to establish, hedonists universally available for sex, pseudo-feminists who are guilty of giving our energy to men, unpolitical and non-existent. From straight society’s point of view we were either ‘perverts’ just like the rest of non-heterosexual society, or, to straight men, a bit of a turn-on, slightly exotic women who were still available to them.”

- Kate Fearnley, Bisexual Lives

[readingbibooks]

“Finally, here’s what we particularly want you to know:

Anyone who isn’t exclusively heterosexual, lesbian or gay may call themselves bisexual - in other words anyone can be bisexual ‘enough’.

There are enormous numbers of bisexuals in the world - probably over one third of the population - but most do not call themselves bisexual yet. We are all sorts of individuals; there is no bisexual ‘type’.

Because of the effect of oppression, most of us bisexuals have internalised a message that ‘I, as a bisexual, don’t belong’. So, if you are our friends, please welcome us as we are into whichever group you belong to, and this will help us overcome our oppression.

For our part, as bisexuals, we need to communicate more so that bisexuality is more public and people get to know us face to face as individuals and not as a label to be oppressed. We need to inform people so that awareness and understand replace the fear of bisexuality which arises from people’s own emotional blocks against what they cannot handle or dislike in themselves. A growing bisexual network can help us overcome oppression so that liberation at both the personal and wider political level is progressively achieved.”

- The Off Pink Collective, Bisexual Lives

[readingbibooks]

“It is very difficult to agree a definition of bisexuality. Each person experiences their sexuality differently and we feel it is right to fully acknowledge this. It is quite usual for the balance of a person’s sexual preference to change and evolve continuously for many reasons. Relationships may be emotional and/or physical, contemporaneous or consecutive. The emphasis should be on a fluid sexuality rather than a fixed one. Bisexuals are people who are not or have not been exclusively gay, lesbian or heterosexual.”

- The Off Pink Collective, Bisexual Lives

[readingbibooks]

“I don’t feel totally accepted by other people so almost all my close friends now are bisexual. With them I’m finding a new level of support and awareness. I just wish there were more bisexuals around.”

- Anonymous female contributor, Bisexual Lives

[readingbibooks]

“I hate the feeling of knowing I have to justify my sexuality, of feeling guilty because I’m not easily defined and can’t easily be explained. I’m not a mystery to myself; only to other people.”

- Jackie Roberts, Bi Monthly April/May 1985, reprinted in Bisexual Lives

[readingbibooks]

“I hate it when one group of women alienates other women when they need support so badly and not rejection. The Women’s Movement must fight against ageism, classism, racism and unfair discrimination against sisters with disabilities and lesbians; so why are bisexual women ignored so often and made to feel rejected?

Feminists become full of guilt when their prejudices are pointed out to them, but why is it that the refusal of the Women’s Movement to actively discuss bisexuality - to any positive degree anyway - does not make feminists feel they are hurting a lot of their sisters?”

- Jackie Roberts, Bi Monthly April/May 1985, reprinted in Bisexual Lives

[readingbibooks]

“Up until now the fact that maybe over a third of the population has strong attractions to or sexual activities with both sexes has generally been ignored. Sexual self-identities have been seen as either heterosexual, or gay or lesbian. But in reality people are not in distinct groups. As far as disease transmission is concerned, it is actual behaviour rather than self-identity that counts and many self-identified heterosexuals and gay men and lesbian behave bisexually. Contrary to a frequent association of bisexuality with promiscuity, it is our experience that many self-identified bisexuals are recurrently celibate, and increasingly so as part of a safer sex life.”

- The Off Pink Collective, Bisexual Lives

[readingbibooks]

“Despite the almost crushing weight of my family’s and society’s requirements, the one thing I have never felt is heterosexual.”

- Sharon, Bisexual Lives