#bishamonkin

[fictionkinfessions]

With all love to humans, I get really frustrated when they use the term "human" to mean Capable of Emotion. Capable of Connection. Kind. Considerate. Like they're the first species, the only one, to have those traits. I understand why. I understand they've used this phrase to separate themselves from "the beasts" for forever, but jeez it's so belittling. No, I'm not human. Yes, I love and care for things. Yes, I am capable of connection. Yes, I want you to be well. "But she's old!" "Her rules don't apply to us and vice versa!" "A god cannot love a human - not in the way humans can love each other." I don't know! I think I love pretty fully! Pretty hard! With all that I am! And I'm human NOW and I think it feels the SAME >:/

× Bishamon, Noragami (#🎐🍵) (but this also applies to Celty)

x

[fictionkinfessions]

I had a small group of friends watch my source with me recently.

I had spent the whole week preparing, as we got to season 2 by last we watched, and season 2 is the one where all of my pain is displayed for everyone to see. I spent so much time talking about how afraid and nervous I was to watch it, to the point that I figured I must be overreacting. I only feel this way because I'm the subject.

Apparently not.

After the viewing (we had to stop halfway because multiple of us were having breakdowns), two of the four kinfirmed regalia of mine, and the one that had already kinfirmed one was sent into a Past Life PTSD Spiral. I think only one of us came out unscathed.

This was my third viewing. I have cried every time, and it puts so much stress and tension on my body every time... My blood always goes cold and I ache. Despite my reactions, though, I didn't expect such an impact on the others. I didn't expect two new regalia to pop up. If I knew it would devastate and cause unrest and upset like this, I wouldn't have encouraged a watch.

After we finished our session, one of my friends sobbed "I'm so sorry you had to watch this alone the first time." It's stuck with me... I can't stop thinking about it. I can't stop thinking about how it affected so many. How, despite one recalling in terrible, vivid memory how they died, that their reaction was still to reach out to me. Even in a new lifetime... They act like that...

I only hope to take better care of them this time around.

× Bishamon, Noragami (#🎐🍵)

c

[fictionkinfessions]

[Takes a deep, deep breath]

Yato, when I catch you, Yato? Yato when I catch you? Yato.

Yato let go of my baby. Yato I'm asking nicely. :) Let's be civil. :) Yato.

On another note...

Kazuma, my precious, you look so adorable in your little grandpa clothes. I like your new glasses, they're adorable on you. Don't let that greasy man touch you. Kazuma. Kazuma, listen to me. Demand to be released! Kazuma!!!

× Bishamon, Noragami (#🎐🍵)

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[fictionkinfessions]

Sometimes I look at myself and get embarrassed by my mannerisms. I was once stoic and strong, and now I'm giggly and bouncy and silly. I'm loud. I sing unprompted. I dance when I'm happy, no matter where I am or who I'm with. As a war god, I could never have imagined myself acting the way I do. I had a playful side, sure, but it was largely overshadowed by my place and my duty as a protector.

But then... I think... That all of this. This loud and full expression of joy... That is my liberation. My right as a human being. Without the status and expectations of a God I can simply be, and be happy. Love and be loved. I am with the people of the world. Regardless of where they are, they are my people, and I am one of them, and I express like one of them. I laugh with them, dance with them, sing with them. We are finally equals. I no longer need to be as I was. I am free.

× Bishamon, Noragami (#🎐🍵)

🐸

[fictionkinfessions]

There's this cosplayer who recreated my armor (sweet Aiha...) And I envy them... SO much. Not in an "oh my god I hate you die Im the only valid me" way, but in an "I do not have the time, patience, money, or drive to make what you have. It looks gorgeous though and I want to do it too."

Every time I see her, for just a split second I go "I could do that" (I could not do that). I want to be able to do that! I mean I have nowhere to put any of that, I'd need to make an entire mannequin to put in my bedroom somewhere, and it would just be a mess. But! Imagine a world with me where I too have a gorgeous, hand crafted suit of foam armor to parade around in! You couldn't talk to me. I'm sorry, I can't hear you over my lightweight armor made for fashion and not battle. I am too important and silver to understand a word you're saying /silly

And don't even get me started on how badly I want REAL armor (no I DON'T it's HOT, HEAVY, AND EXPENSIVE... But 👀)

You wouldn't be able to tell me ANYTHING.

× Bishamon, Noragami (#🎐🍵)

x

[fictionkinfessions]

Kazuma's voice actor will be at a con nearby(ish) at a point in time and... I have to see him. I must. But what will I do? Am I about to spend $100? I have already spent money on a cameo (though that was a while ago now). What will I have him sign? I'd cosplay myself but the drive is long. I'm anxious...! I wish it didn't feel foolish to long to hear him address me again... Without a cosplay I'm not sure I'll be awarded the precious Viina nickname, and I'd like to feel that shock and flustered feeling again (though I might combust, realistically)

Sigh.

× Bishamon, Noragami (#🎐🍵)

✉

[fictionkinfessions]

Gosh, canon homes...

Kyoto, I think... Kyoto Japan. Maybe it's because of the shrine there, but. Something about it... It's just home to me.

My friend says they'll take me to visit sometime. I'm nervous about the idea, but... I'd like to, I think. I want to sit in the shrine, or at least walk through it, and its gardens... The love doesn't belong to me, but... I'm grateful regardless

× Bishamon, Noragami (#🎐🍵)

2

[fictionkinfessions]

My friends know this story but I'll share it here too because it's so humiliatingly valid. This is long and silly and pointless but here we go:

I cleared my Tomodachi Life island to play a dating game. As you do. It's all I care about; who's going to get with who. What relationships will everyone have with one another?

I make myself. As you do. My mii says "it is lonely :(" so I make Kazuma. Which. I mean of course I do, but I had planned the whole thing out, you know? Yes I was making Kazuma next but I was also going to make a lot of My Kazuma's kins just for the fun of it. See which one won. So of course Base Kazuma had to be first, followed by some others. Favorites of mine, perhaps.

I make 6 others. Not too many, but enough. Enough for there to be drama. Hopefully.

There is not.

You see, upon Creating Kazuma, my mii was automatically introduced to him. It's just how the game goes. I knew this would happen but I figured it would only have a Minor impact.

It has a major one.

My mii would not leave his side. Mine was always at his apartment, or his was at mine. If they weren't there, they were out on the town together. An hour had gone by and they were already falling asleep on top of one another at the tower.

I don't really realize for the first hour or so. There have been Some breaks and one of Kazuma's kins has been making friends with the other ones, so it was only a matter of time. Even Kazuma himself was meeting others.

My mii did not. She met no one. Nobody came to her. She didn't go to anyone. At the rap battle, she stood beside - you guessed it - Kazuma, to support another mii. She. Would. Not. Part from him. (Which. Me neither, but still.)

Kazuma's mii, an hour and a half in, goes "hey I think your mii likes me." At this point I'm like my mii hasn't met anyone else. In your dreams, loser 😤!!! I don't want to ruin the game! I want to give at least SOMEONE else a chance!

No.

Four hours go by. (Yes I played this for 4 hours. I was also doing other things just.. Waiting for them to have needs. Yes it was pathetic. Don't worry about it)

Four hours go by and my mii gets The Bubble. She still hasn't met anyone but Kazuma. Everyone else has essentially met each other but my mii has not. Nobody else. No trial and error maybe friendships. No running into each other at the beach. Nothing. Just Kazuma. In his apartment, or him in hers. And she has The Bubble.

So fuck, right? I have no choice! I mean I could discourage it, but would that ruin Kazuma for the rest of the game? That seems unfair considering he won right out the gate. I shouldn't punish him for being too good, should I? I mean I want to, kind of, because he did have an advantage, but also hey! Maybe he'll reject me or something!

So. Fine. Whatever. I give in. She confesses and Kazuma says "sure" which. 🔪 How entirely dare you. And now they're sweethearts

Immediately afterwards, other miis start asking about her and trying to meet her.

Where were you!!! My date game >:(!!!!

× Bishamon, Noragami (#🎐🍵)