Hi, this is the Lapis fictive again. I need a little positivity, I guess. I've been feeling lonely and hopeless. I can't connect with people anymore because all my friends except Peridot and Bismuth went dormant. But Bis feels distant now. And every time I see Peridot, I'm overcome with jealousy because they're partners with someone I have a crush on and have rejected me. So I avoid them. I don't know what to do. I'm full of anger and cruelty and I'm tired of resisting it. Thank you again.
Hey Lapis,
Systems going through periods of dormancy can be very hard. My systemmate 🍃Drielle has been going through something similar.
It's important to remember that this isn't on you. Them being dormant isn't a reflection at all on the quality of your company.
Just like gems outside of headspace sometimes need to retreat into their gem to heal, sometimes headmates need time on their own to recharge. It can be lonely, but at least you aren't truly alone. Bismuth is there and so is Peridot. And hey, i'm always here to talk if you'd like that.
It's also perfectly natural to feel jealous. Your feelings are valid, but they aren't what define you either. Your actions are what define the person you are.
Sometimes I worry I have a tendency of coming off as passive-aggressive. With that in mind, I'd advise you to be upfront with Peridot about how you feel. I think that if you're respectful about it, it could bring the two of you a lot closer together. As your friend, they shouldn't fault you for your feelings.
In any case, keep your head up, Lapis.
Mod Haze (💣Mark)