for your kisses fic prompt
35. …to gain something.
hi, sorry this took me so long to get to! got busy with work and summer classes and life stuff and then writer's block happened for a bit. but anyway! here's:
35. ...to gain something
“So let me get this right,” Blaine says, needing to restate the puzzle pieces of what Kurt just told him for himself. “You have a third date with this guy this weekend, and if it goes well again, you want to kiss him, but you don’t feel confident that you know how to kiss someone, so you want to kiss me to gain confidence.”
“Yes,” Kurt answers, nothing but serious. “I know it sounds…”
“A little insane?”
“Yeah, I know it sounds insane but…” Kurt lets out a sigh, finally stops his frantic pacing since he’d burst into their shared dorm, and takes a seat on the edge of his bed. “It’s embarrassing. I’m nineteen years old and I’ve never properly kissed a guy. Everyone else has had a proper first kiss by now…”
“Kurt…”
“No, please don’t—”
“If this guy is any decent, he won’t judge you for not having a proper first kiss yet. There’s plenty of people who don’t have a proper first kiss until college.”
“Are there really?”
“Well, I can’t speak from personal experience, but…”
“It’s stupid that I’m embarrassed about it, isn’t it?”
“It’s not stupid.”
Before he can try to convince his roommate otherwise, Kurt starts spiraling. “It is. It’s stupid and insane and… Pointless. It’s pointless! I’m already embarrassed about the fact that I haven’t properly kissed a guy, and that’s not gonna change, and then I won’t be able to kiss him, and then maybe I just won’t be able to kiss a guy ever and—”
“Okay,” Blaine stops him. “I’ll do it.” It’s nothing but sincere.
“What?”
“I’ll kiss you. If it’ll help you be more confident with this guy, then I’ll do it. But we both have to promise that this won’t make anything weird between us, we’re still gonna be just…great friends after this, yeah?”
“Yeah, yeah, of course. Why would it make anything weird? You’re just helping me out as a friend and a really great roommate.”
“Just bros helping bros.”
“Bros helping— yeah, no, I’m not repeating that.”
“Okay. Just…come over here,” Blaine says, patting the empty space next to him on his own bed as Kurt crosses the room to sit next to him. “You want to be the one to kiss him, right?” he continues.
“Yeah. I mean…I think so.”
“Rule Number One: don’t be nervous about it. I know you can be confident, so..be confident. If you want to kiss him, then just go for it. Ask permission first, but– you know what I mean.”
“Yeah, I get it. …Can I kiss you?” Kurt asks, slightly biting at his bottom lip. Blaine nods and lets his eyelids slide closed as Kurt’s lips meet his own and Kurt’s hands come up to sort of cradle his face. He kisses back, but it takes just about everything in him to fight that pull in his chest that makes him want to just keep kissing Kurt again and again. Maybe, if they weren’t roommates or best friends, or if Kurt wasn’t going out with another guy, that could happen. But it can’t right now. Because they’re just friends and because he’s just doing this to help Kurt gain confidence. It doesn’t matter what other feelings he has for Kurt. He doesn’t need to know that.
“Was that…okay?” Kurt asks, cheeks flushed, when they break apart.
“That was…” Amazing, breathtaking, and I think that’s the best kiss I’ve had maybe ever are all thoughts that come to mind. Instead, he continues: “Yeah! Yeah, that was..great! I mean, like, ‘great’ in the totally objective ‘you’re gonna be absolutely fine kissing him’ type of ‘great.’ Like, I don’t know why you were so nervous about that. Um, excuse me, I’m just gonna..go down to the common room for a minute, um, see if there’s anything good snack-wise or… I’ll be back in a bit.”
“Okay? Have fun I guess?”
Blaine rushes out of their dorm in a way that seems as much like he’s not rushing out as possible even though he feels like he might just combust. Once he’s on the other side of the door, he lets himself slide down the hallway wall to sit on the floor and breathe for a minute.
Why did he agree to kiss Kurt? Yes, he wanted to help him out, but he should have known better, given his feelings for his roommate that said roommate does not and cannot know about. He should have known that kissing him was only going to amplify the feelings he’s been shoving down and hoping would just go away for…however long he’s been crushing hopelessly on Kurt. He should have known that, as much as he can try to convince himself that what happened wouldn’t make things weird, the fact that they kissed is probably, definitely, going to make things weird. For him, at least. He’s an idiot, isn’t he?
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