Oh Patty, we love you so much. We love how excitable you are. We love your story of learning to stand up for yourself. We love your allegory. However...
... you can't be out here slandering my baby boy Alexei like that. Yeah, I don't believe for a second that Al actually ate that toxic old man's laundry.
Yes, Alexei can have some interesting ideas for food. Everybody judges him based on his recent attempt to eat a beach ball. However, they forget that he only did this on his own once.
And then, when he realized he couldn't stomach it, he hurled. Wouldn't you?
But my boy is smart. He went to foodie school. He learned about the dangers of glass, and he refuses to eat it.
The Mildreadberry is inedible unless cooked. And it smells like iron. My boy knows an unsuitable berry when he sees it.
When he eats something bland, it is because Capo can't keep the troops fed.
But you wanna tell me that my smart son is eating clothing contaminated by this old man, whose smell transcends the art. My boy knows not to eat anything that Capochin handles.
Oh, you want a more traditional head-canon? Okay, Capo has a lot of junk. The Bizzyboys are absent-minded and lose his junk all the time. To try to save their own letters, they lie and say Alexei ate it. It's that simple.
Or maybe Vibiano did it. Who knows?
