starring: Black Sister!reader, Sirius, & Regulus
featuring: Lily Evans, Peter Pettigrew, James Potter, Remus Lupin, Dorcas Meadows, Evan Rosier
based off of this TikTok that @unstablereader sent to me [597 words]
no ships stated so can be whoever you want <3
CW: muggle style brawl, brothers not at all concerned about their sister, referenced past sibling fights, referenced biting, referenced broken noses, siblings
Lily had finally managed to convince James and Sirius to sit still and actually work on their potions essays - a considerable feat considering Remus had been completely uninterested in helping her with the task - when Peter came rushing up to their table in the library.
“Sirius,” he barely got out; face flushed pink from having run over from wherever he’d been, bending over to rest his hands on his knees as he fought to catch his breath, “your sister - blimey - come quick.”
”What? What about her?” Sirius started, skepticism giving way to genuine concern as he closed his potions textbook - much to the chagrin of Lily Evans.
“She’s - fucking hells this school has so many godsdamned stairs - she’s gotten into it with Mulciber and Avery” a deep, desperate breath “in the dungeons.”
“Gotten…into it?” James asked as he, too, closed his potions textbook.
“Stole their wands and went at them in a muggle brawl.”
Whatever reaction Peter thought he was about to get, it wasn’t the bark of laughter that left Sirius.
“Brilliant, the dungeons you say? Who’s up for a show?” He drawled as he lazily packed up his belongings.
“I…what?” Peter asked as some of the pink began melting from his cheeks. “Did…you not hear me? She’s brawling with Mulciber and Avery.”
”Oh I heard you.” Sirius laughed, even garnering a cautious look from James as Remus and Lily shared one of their own.
“Shouldn’t we…help her?” James asked, earning him a derisive scoff from his friend.
”She doesn’t need help.”
“She’s taking on two older blokes.” Lily argued, finding herself unconsciously packing up her own homework as well.
A somewhat pleased and proud smile seemed to take over the oldest Black’s face. “Right you are, Red; she also grew up with two brother’s and I can assure you, she is not afraid to fight dirty.”
Lily reluctantly nodded her head in understanding at that; siblings, and what-have-you.
“Have you told Reg yet?” Sirius asked seemingly apropos of nothing.
“Have I- what?” Peter sputtered. “Mate, I came running here to tell you ‘cause I was convinced your sister was suicidal!”
”Oi! Reggie!” Sirius hollered instead of gracing Peter with a response, earning him militant shushing from Madame Pince.
Regulus - wholly adverse to being called Reggie, being hollered at, and his brother in general - scowled at the Gryffindor.
“Sunny’s in a fight.” Sirius continued, seemingly unawares of his brother’s ire.
“With who?” Regulus asked quickly, ire forgotten as he closed his own textbook, forcing Rosier and Meadows to lift their heads in interest as well.
“Mulciber and Avery.”
Regulus let out a very inelegant snort of laughter as he threw his bag over his shoulder. ”Ten galleons she breaks Avery’s nose.”
”Remember how pissed mum was when she had to reset yours after you tried stealing Sunny’s Christmas candies?” Sirius asked as he bumped his brother’s shoulder.
Regulus chuckled - near giggled, to everyone’s astonishment - in response. “She was almost as mad as that time you had well defined teeth outlined on your arm when you tried those muggle wrestling moves on her.”
“Broke the skin and everything, little witch.” Sirius spat, though his face screamed fondness as the two brother’s laughed and left the library together to find their rascally sister.
“Huh.” James let out; the same expression adorning his face as when he listened to the professor explain complicated Runes to him. “Who knew brotherly bonding only required their sister to pick a fight.”
“I doubt she started it,” Remus chuckled as the four friends followed after the brothers, “but it sounds like she’s gonna finish it.”
A/N: This is the first time I'm posting something on here, so I'm open for feedback.
This drabble is based of an oc that I made up in my head while dozing off but this is the first time I wrote one out.
English is not my first language so I'm sorry in advance for any grammer mistakes.
428 words
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'Why are you still doing his bidding?' he asked.
Sometimes I want to strangle him.
He doesn't understand. He will never know how it feels to be a woman in this world. In the family we grew up in. No. In the family I grew up in, the one that he abandoned.
'Do you think I have any other choice? Are you dense, Sirius?' It's a genuine question. He may have abandoned us but he still grew up with our customs. You don't grow out of those kinds of manners, no matter how much you try to deny your upbringing.
'You had another choice,' stupid, 'you could've run away with me.' I almost laughed. A loud and embarrassing laugh. One that would have gotten me in trouble if my parents were still around. One that would get me punished because of how unladylike it is. But I keep quiet and my face blank, one that I mastered after years of practicing.
"Run away with you? After you ignored my brother and me just because we were in a different house? Because we weren't brave enough? You never gave us a choice, not even on the night you left." He left without looking back to see if he hurt anyone—which he did, though I'd never admit that. I'll never give him the satisfaction of telling him he was right. The night he left, I still believed we could repair our relationship. Perhaps if we had talked, my brother and I would have left with him. But he didn't give us that chance, and there's no going back now. He took that piece of hope and belief with him the moment he started calling others his family, his siblings.
"Because I had lost all hope that the two of you would come with me. We had drifted so far apart that I thought it was a losing battle to convince you. I just wanted a better life." And that's just it, isn't it? Hope. A feeling that existed—and still exists—on both sides of the war. Two different kinds of hope that would split an entire world in two. It was simply a matter of who acted on it. Three siblings, each with their own hope. One acted by running away and creating a new life where his hope seemed possible. One suffered in silence, following the rules until he found a way to perhaps act on his hope—only to meet his end. And one pushed all hope away after witnessing what happened to those who dared to entertain such feelings.
Okay I am working on like three different fics at the moment, but which one would you guys like to see first?
James Potter x Reader
James’s parents have passed and the reader is helping him grieve while Lilly is getting jealous towards James and the readers relationship. Also contains some platonic Sirius Black x reader and Remus Lupin x Sirius Black.
Percy Weasley x Aurora Lupin Black
Second Part to the story
James Potter x BlackSister!Reader
Reader is Sirius Black’s baby sister. She leaves with him when he leaves home, but not before their mother can strike some vengeance into her. The Potter resident becomes a safe haven as well as a place for love to bloom.
Sirius Black’s Daughter
In AU were Sirius still goes to Azkaban for the murders, but James and Lilly live. They taken in the girl who they consider their niece, and she is raised along side Harry.
Okay, I am going to say this now. I love Lilly Evans do not get me wrong, but I have a hard time writing her in a good light in my fics. I don’t want to make her totally evil or anything, but in most of my James fic she will be jealous or rude towards the reader. It’s just what happens when I start writing,
starring: Black Sister!reader, Sirius, & Regulus
featuring: Walburga Black, Remus Lupin, Barty Crouch Junior, James Potter
ships: jegulus, wolfstar, Barty x Treasure
genre: crack/comedy with a side of blasphemy
explanation: this fic is set in the same universe/realm as my Black Family Christmas fic, but this time we see the siblings in partnerships. Also, they're at a church; a Catholic Church... attending their father's funeral. [1.6k words]
CW: mentions of death and dying, grief (?) but also none, Walburga Black, BLASPHEMY, set in a church, I make some fun of the Catholic Church, the Lord's name is said in vain, a joke about queerness and there is one homophobic comment if you really really squint but it's handled expertly, they are so unserious it's painful
Your slicked-back hair was slicked back to the point of a pain, your black dress that your mother insisted you wore was tight enough that you were already struggling to breathe, leaving you more than a little worried about actually sitting your arse down in the pews, and you could already feel one blister breaking in your heels as you made your way to the front of the church.
“Does mother know you’ve dressed like a whore to her husband’s funeral?” Your brother drawled, earning him a punch to the gut as you reached around him to hug Remus first.
“I’ll have you know that mother specifically chose this dress, thank you very much.” You sneered at Sirius as you accepted a chaste side kiss from him as well.
“She’s probably still hoping you’ll find one of our distant cousins more desirable than your current boyfriend.” Regulus murmured as he slid in beside you, not bothering to greet your other brother and his fiance.
“No better place to peacock than a funeral, hm?” You asked as you watched Bellatrix laugh rather theatrically in a ruse to place a perfectly manicured hand on Tom Riddle’s well-pressed suit under the guise of steadying herself.
“What a beautiful day.” James all but cheered from the other side of Regulus, sharing enthusiastic waves and smiles with you, Remus, and Sirius.
You hummed in agreement, but it was Sirius who responded. “Yes, all's right with the world now that evil has been defeated.”
“Sirius!” Your mother screeched, causing Sirius to jump nearly a foot off the pew he was sitting on.
“Jesus fucking Christ, she’s bloody everywhere.” Sirius breathed with a hand on his chest, earning him a chiding “Sirius! We’re in a bloody church!” for the blaspheme from his fiance and a muttered “looks like some of the evil won” from Regulus.
“They put the flower arrangements from colleagues in front of the flowers from family members!” Walburga howled at Sirius as though he may have had something to do with it.
“I- what?” Sirius started incredulously. “Who’s they?”
“The church staff!”
“You mean the nuns?” You asked then, earning you a scathing look from your mother.
“Don’t be smart with me, Y/N.”
You shared a look with Remus behind Sirius’ back as he tried to reason with your entirely unreasonable mother.
“Okay, but…what is the issue?”
You could see the vein in your mother’s forehead protruding, threatening a stage five meltdown.
“The issue, Sirius, is that the flowers from your father’s family are meant to be front and centre.” She hissed menacingly.
“Right, well, easy fix that; I don’t think dad gives a shite whose flowers are front and centre.” Sirius offered simply, causing you to suck in a steadying breath.
“I’ll go talk to them, mother.” Regulus placated, shooting Sirius a withering glare that rivalled your mother’s.
“Well, now that that unpleasantness is out of the way.” Sirius murmured as he dusted off his hands for a job well done, only to groan as Barty slid into the pew beside you.
“Hey Treasure, what’d I miss?” He asked, waving to Remus, flipping Sirius off, and completely ignoring Regulus’ husband sitting on the other side of him.
“The flowers are in the wrong order.” You informed him solemnly, nodding towards the front of the church where Walburga was berating the priest whilst Regulus tried to do damage control with the nuns.
“Just as God intended; hey, look what I found.” Barty announced with a flourish before pulling his hand out from where it had been hidden in his suit jacket to reveal a large and ornate chalice - clearly the chalice - filled with red wine.
“Junior you didn’t.” Remus moaned as he looked at your boyfriend in horror.
“What? What’d I do?”
“What’d he do?” Regulus parroted as he reclaimed his seat between Barty and James.
“Barty stole the blood of Christ.” James explained tattled.
“Barty, you didn’t.” Regulus repeated, pinching the bridge of his nose.
“Well if it’s so fucking important why’d they leave it lying around?”
“Where did you even find that?” You finally asked, causing Barty to gesture to the back of the church with a flippant thumb.
“It was just sitting back there. There were a bunch of wafery type crackers too but they tasted like cardboard.”
You followed his line of sight to see a few altar servers whispering feverishly to one another as they scanned the area in search of something.
“Son of a bitch, Barty.” You hissed as you plucked the chalice from his hands and hid it under the pew.
“You know, Junior, I’m surprised you managed to step over the threshold without simply bursting into flames.” Sirius taunted from your other side.
“Oh please. As if this entire row doesn’t contain every bloody colour of the fucking rainbow.” He retorted over your frame before falling back into the pew with a petulant huff, though his comment earned him a booming laugh from James.
“He’s got a point; look at us!” He laughed, either ignorant or dismissive of the way various dutiful mourners sneered at him as they walked past your pew.
“Sirius, you’re really not one to talk.” Remus pointed out then, causing Sirius to let out a derisive scoff.
“I’m very familiar with the Catholic church, okay? That box over there” he started, pointing towards the confessional across the room “is where I get on my knees and say I’m sorry, daddy, I’ve been a very bad boy.”
“I can’t bloody take you anywhere.” Remus groaned into his hands as you and Sirius snickered.
“Laughing at your own father’s funeral? Does your disrespect know no bounds?” Your mother huffed with a glare as she took a seat in the pew in front of you.
“This is how we process our emotions, mother. Grief looks different on everyone.” Sirius explained facetiously.
“And how nice of you three to show.” Walburga drawled sarcastically as she eyed Remus, Barty, and James. “I was beginning to think all three of my children had concurrently been divorced.”
“Can’t be divorced if you’re not married yet, mother.” Sirius murmured.
“Can’t even call off an engagement.” You added, pointing at your ringless finger.
“Walburga,” Remus greeted warmly, sparing you and your brother a wary glance, “it’s always a pleasure.”
“You’d be wise to show a little more respect when attending the funeral of your significant other’s father.” She spat, not even able to bring herself to acknowledge Sirius’ sexual preferences in her place of ass kissing worship.
“Jesus Christ,” Barty muttered as he leaned over you to look at Sirius, speaking as though your mother was no longer there, “if you thought I’d go up in flames, what’d you think was going to happen to her?”
“Explode.” Sirius replied easily, causing your mother to let out a sound between a squawk of protest and a blood curdling scream as Regulus snorted a laugh and hid his face in James’ shoulder.
“The absolute disgrace, you wretched, wretched man! How dare you speak of me in such a manner!”
“Mother, please, you’re creating a scene.” You drawled as you waved at your Uncle Alphard and cousin Andromeda who took only one look at your mother before choosing seats on the opposite side of the church.
“I am a grieving widow; I’m allowed to behave any which way I want.” She hissed; nails digging into the back of the pew she was gripping so roughly that her knuckles were turning white.
“I hardly see how that’s any different from every other day of the year, Walburga.” Barty offered, bored gaze pointed anywhere else in the church.
With this, your mother let out a strangled sound before she went storming off in the direction of the rectory to no doubt take out her frustration on some poor unsuspecting priest. While you felt sort of bad for him, you figured it was better him than you; wasn’t dealing with the wicked sort of his expertise?
“Holy shit, I need a drink.” James murmured as he stretched languidly, jolting in surprise when three identical flasks materialised in front of him alongside one pilfered offertory chalice of wine.
“Fuckin’ hell.” Remus groaned into his hands, bending over his knees as though praying for patience as you, Sirius, Regulus, and Barty threw back your drinks of choice.
The lot of you managed to make it through the funeral service with little fuss after that, only earning withering glares from your mother twice for snickering at the priest's “Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to honour the memory of Orion Black; faithful husband and dutiful father” and then again when the preparation and presentation of the offertory wine was clearly performed with some back up chalice.
“Barely made it through with my own life.” Sirius murmured at you over his shoulder as the group of you filed out of the pews and made your way to the back of the church.
You stole a quick glance to ensure none of the church greeters currently bidding the congregation goodbye noticed as you quickly took out the (now empty) chalice from your purse and placed it on a table.
What you didn’t know at the time was that the chalice had hardly made contact with the decorative tablecloth before Barty - walking directly behind you - reached out to pluck it back up and tuck it into his suit jacket.
How about a fic where Remus falls for reader who is Sirius’ sister? If Sirius freaks out with Regulus and James, just imagine how protective he would be with a sister! Specially if she is sweet and kind (totally opposite of him and Regulus)
will I ever make a sibling fic that isn't chaotic? no, likely not. also, I didn't exactly make her the opposite of Sirius and Regulus but it could be argued that she's better than them anyways. ALSO, I've always refrained from reader-inserts with Black!sister reader simply because I see her as Reggie's twin who looks the way he does, and also can't get beyond the fact that she would have a celestial name SO, in any Black!sister fics going forward, please note that her middle name will have been Soleil which is French for sun, and the boys call her Sunny as a nickname <3
Remus Lupin x Black!sister reader who he has fallen head over heels for [1.5k words]
CW: siblings, threats of murder
Most boys at some point in their lives will be asked the following question:
Are you a mummy’s boy, or a daddy’s boy?
If a boy wasn’t asked such a question, it was likely because the answer was painfully obvious.
“Little Lucius Malfoy is such a daddy’s boy.”
“That James Potter, such a mama’s boy”.
“Oh, sweet Peter Pettigrew, he has always been a mummy’s boy.”
Since the answer was so painfully obvious, neither Sirius Orion Black or Regulus Arcturus Black had ever been asked this question. For them, the answer was simple:
They were their sister’s boy’s.
It was this fact that made Remus Lupin’s current predicament so bloody difficult.
“Where is she!?” Regulus barked as he stormed over to the Gryffindor table where Sirius was sitting beside James across from Remus and Peter.
“Goodmorning, Reggie.” Sirius offered instead of answering his brother.
“For Sala- hi, Sirius. Where is she?”
“Where is who?”
“Your sister.” Regulus spat, causing Sirius’ brows to furrow as he chanced a look over his shoulder at his brother.
“How is she my sister? She’s your twin.”
“Nevermind that, do you know where she is?” Regulus muttered.
Sirius sighed and stood from his seat to scan the Great Hall.
“Nope.” He offered with a pop of the p before returning to his breakfast.
“I’m going to avada that meddling witch!” Regulus hissed as he stormed off; Remus, James, and Peter all watching after him as Sirius continued happily with his toast.
“Are….you not worried about her?” Peter asked cautiously then.
“Not really.” Sirius responded quickly.
James let out a breath at that and shook his head in disbelief. “Siblings are weird, mate.”
“Thanks, Siri.” You chimed as your head popped up between James and Sirius; the former shrieking not unlike a displeased mandrake plant as he clutched at his chest.
Neither you nor Sirius paid him any mind as Sirius nudged his plate closer to you so you could pick from it.
“What’d you do now?” Sirius asked.
“I simply told one of Reg’s admirers that he was already seeing someone; I hardly see what all the fuss is about.” You offered simply, causing Sirius to look at you in bemusement and mutter “Reg is seeing someone?” at the same time James looked at you in horror and hissed “Reg has an admirer!?”
You simply smirked and looked at Remus who was sitting across from you and shot him a wink.
He hoped to all get out that no one noticed the heat radiating in his cheeks as he smiled nervously down at his plate, though he was relatively certain he could feel a set of spectacled eyes burning a hole into the side of his head.
“Wait, why do you look like that?” Sirius asked then, causing the table to look at him to see he was surveying your form.
“Like what?” You asked him slowly, looking down at your uniform as if to see what Sirius could possibly be talking about.
“You look…like…nice.” Sirius muttered as if that was a particularly bad thing.
“I always look nice.” You argued then.
“That’s not true, you usually just look fine.”
“You’re such a git.” You spat, taking the piece of toast he had in his hand and taking a bite of it.
“Doesn’t she just usually only look fine?” Sirius asked then, and Remus was horrified to see he was looking at him.
“Me?”
Sirius nodded impatiently as if saying “yeah? What about it?”
“Why are you asking me?” Remus asked somewhat shrilly.
“You’re objective.”
“And Peter and James aren’t?”
Sirius huffed as he kicked Remus in the shin under the table. “Would you just answer the sodding question?”
“I…well,” and Remus looked at you - you, who always looked nothing short of lovely and radiant and dauntingly perfect in every way, and today had been no exception. But he couldn’t very well say that. “She…she looks fine, yeah.”
Sirius’ brows furrowed further as he turned back to look at you, and Remus tried to pretend he didn’t notice a brief look a hurt cross your features. “You do, though. Look lovely today, that is.” He added awkwardly, simply receiving a half-smile in response.
“Sunny!” Regulus barked then; apparently having found his way back to the Great Hall in his search for you.
“Oh, Merlin and Morgana.” You grumbled as your head fell back in exasperation.
“What did you tell him?”
“Who?” Sirius and James parroted.
“Sunny.” Regulus repeated, his gaze never moving from you as he sidled up behind you. “What did you tell him?”
“Oh, stop with the theatrics, Regulus; you’re embarrassing yourself.” You drawled, sounding like a true upper-classman as you refused to look at your twin.
“What did you tell Fenwick?” He gritted out slowly in a way Remus was sure would make a lesser man cower, but you simply rolled your eyes at him.
“I simply told him that he was grasping at billywigs because you were already seeing someone.”
Regulus held your gaze as you raised your eyebrow at him. “That’s it?”
“That’s it.” You hissed, completely unimpressed.
“Who in the hells are you seeing?” Sirius asked then, causing the two of you to look over at him.
“Nevermind, Siri.” You responded in a bored tone around another bite of his toast.
“I will too mind, thank you very much! Who is my baby brother seeing!?”
“Oh relax, Sirius, there’s no need to call the DMLE; it’s not like Sunny’s seeing anyone.” He chuckled, causing Sirius to snort in laughter.
“That’s true.”
You made a disbelieving sound as you looked between your two brothers. “What in Merlin’s name is that supposed to mean?!”
“That means, my dear baby sister,” Sirius responded curtly as he yanked his toast back from you, “that you must never date, otherwise your big brother will end up in Azkaban.”
“Oh give us a little credit, Sirius; we’d get away with it.” Regulus countered.
“Why!?” You beseeched.
“No one is good enough for you, obviously.” Sirius responded simply, as if you were quite ridiculous for even needing to ask.
“And anyone who thinks otherwise will end up dead.” Regulus continued earnestly, causing James to bark a laugh.
“Don’t worry Moons, Pete and I will make sure your funeral is nice.” He said as he brought another spoon of cereal to his mouth.
Remus felt all blood drain from his face as everyone turned to look at him.
Regulus stared at him in a confused sort of horror, Peter looked at him with a sympathetically worried expression, Sirius didn’t look exactly horrified or disgusted as Remus had thought he would, but he definitely looked disturbed to some level, and you were looking at him with what he thought (and certainly hoped) was hopeful surprise.
James looked up at the silence to see everyone staring at Remus, whilst Remus just stared at him in betrayal.
“James!?” Remus whisper shouted; his voice having apparently run off along with his bollocks.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Regulus finally asked then, staring daggers at Remus as Sirius raised his hand slightly as if warning Regulus off of his best friend, though never removing his own scrutinising gaze from Remus.
“James, what’d you mean by that?” Sirius asked James - eyes still glued to Remus.
“I, well, erm. I’m actually, not entirely sure? I just…well…”
“Do you fancy her, Moony?” Sirius whispered as if it was some horrid joke and so completely unfathomable that Remus could possibly find you as enchanting as he admittedly did.
No, he wanted to say, of course not, Pads. That’s your baby sister, I’d never fall so head-over-heels for the sister of my best friend, that’s absurd.
But that wouldn’t be true.
And he’d already been outed.
His gaze moved to you and offered what he hoped was an apologetic smile before opening his mouth to respond.
“Regulus is shagging James!” You blurted then, causing James to flinch so violently that his knees hit the bottom of the table top, and Regulus deflated severely from where he’d been staring down Remus like some well-trained guard-dragon.
“Are you fucking kidding me!?” Sirius shrieked then, turning to point his glare at someone other than Remus, finally.
Remus had been so caught up in the verbal volleying taking place between Sirius, Regulus, and James that he hadn’t noticed you had disappeared from your spot beside Sirius until you popped back up beside him and were encouraging him up by the sleeve of his uniform jumper.
And you looked so sweet and so lovely and so hopeful and so mischievous and Remus really was helpless in the pull you had on him, which saw him rushing out of the Great Hall with your hand in his as you dragged him away from your brothers and laughing all the while.
So yeah, this made Remus Lupin’s current predicament incredibly bloody difficult.
Because if Sirius and Regulus were sister’s boys, you were your brothers’ girl.
this may be a bit left field from what you were asking but i had this idea in my head for awhile of remus being told he couldn't have children because of the whole werewolf thing and reader gets pregnant and he instantly thinks he's been cheated on and it couldn't be his because of what he was told from a young age (his self esteem and insecurity that he isn't good enough etc. flaring up!! not that he truly believes she would but he's spiralling and it's the only explanation right????) and it takes lily and the marauders to knock some sense into him and realise he's been given a little miracle and a chance at having a family like he's always wanted!!! (i imagine being told he couldn't have children put the whole werewolf thing into perspective and meant he secretly yearned for it as it was another thing it had taken from him)
sorry this was long, if it's rubbish please ignore, it's why i've anonned!!!
poor angsty moony hahahaha. thanks for your request!
Remus Lupin x Black!reader who tells him she's pregnant, and he doesn't respond well [1.7k words]
CW: pregnancy, implied belief of cheating/adultery with a happy ending, background jilypad because I wanted to
“Wait, wait, wait.” James interrupted, holding his hands up from the table as Lily folded her lips over her teeth like she was working over time trying not to laugh. “Hang on. Are you telling me-”
“This is not funny, James.” Sirius hissed, glaring daggers at Remus though his hold on Harry in his arms was as soft as ever.
A giggle escaped Lily’s lips, though she was quick to slap a hand over her mouth when Sirius turned his burning gaze to her.
“You’re telling me” James continued “that your girlfriend-”
“My sister.” Sirius interrupted.
“- that you love-”
“More than life itself, right.” Remus continued.
“- told you she was pregnant, and you…” James trailed off, clearly waiting for someone else to jump in here.
“Came here?” Lily tried.
“Ran off like a sod?” Sirius muttered.
“Told her you…didn’t believe her?” James offered.
“It’s impossible!” Remus argued.
“Do you not fuck your girlfriend, Moons?” James drawled then, causing Sirius to moan very dramatically as he held his son against his face as if he couldn’t even look at Remus right now; Harry, for his part, found that hilarious and started pulling at his papa’s long hair.
“Sod off, James.” Remus groaned miserably as he ran his hands over his face. “It’s impossible, werewolves cannot procreate.”
It was Lily who asked “Says who?”
“Just… everyone.”
“Everyone?” James asked, his eyebrows rising over the frames of his glasses.
“Would have told your parents they had ‘no idea what your future holds’.” Lily explained simply. “What lycanthrope have they studied to know if that’s true or not?”
“There has never been any cases of a werewolf successfully procreating, Lily.” Remus explained simply.
“So just because it’s never been bloody written down, you think it could never happen?” Sirius spat then, looking around Harry’s little body who still had a fistfull of his hair to level Remus with a look. “So, what? She’s lying? She’s making it up? She’s cheating on you?”
The room fell quiet as everyone, even Harry, turned to look at Remus as they waited for a response.
“Remus.” Lily breathed out in disbelief when he didn’t provide one.
“You didn’t…” James sighed.
“Remus fucking Lupin, I swear to Merlin if you-”
“What was I supposed to say!?” Remus exploded then. “I- it’s supposed to be impossible. Werewolves cannot or do not procreate, they cannot be parents, they-”
But his excuses sounded feeble, even to his own ears. Lily was right; no studies as such have ever been conducted on lycanthropes. Sirius was right; there was no evidence because it had just never been written down. James was right; Remus does fuck his girlfriend.
Remus had always assumed this was just one more thing that his lifelong curse had stolen from him; the ability to ever have a family of his own.
Although, there were a lot of things Remus’ lycanthropy was supposed to have taken from him, yet….
Yet, he had two parents who loved him unconditionally and did everything they could for him, even though there were no rule books or how-to guides on raising a werewolf child. Yet, he had been accepted to attend Hogwarts at age 11, even though he never expected to be able to attend school with his affliction. Yet, he met three boys on the train who turned out to be his roommates, who turned out to be his friends, who turned out to be his pack, even though they didn’t have to be. Yet, he found himself a precious love who loved him in return, even though you were raised to lift your nose at anyone who wasn’t a pureblood, even though you were raised to harbour disdain for creatures and beasts alike, even though you were a Black and he was a Lupin, even though you were a Slytherin and he was a Gryffindor, even though….even though.
Remus wasn’t supposed to have any of this, yet here he was. And he wasn’t supposed to ever have children of his own, yet…
“Oh Godric.” Remus breathed out as he sat back in his chair; both hands over his mouth in a silent gasp as he stared unseeingly past his three friends.
“You know Sunny loves you to the stars and back, Remus.” Sirius started earnestly. “And the fact that you think she could have ever betrayed you like that-”
“I didn’t.” Remus hissed. “I don’t.”
“I know, Rem.” Lily offered, even though Sirius didn’t seem all that convinced. “It’s just what you thought made the most sense at the time.”
But it really didn’t make sense at all. The thought would have absolutely never crossed his mind in a million years if he hadn’t been told his entire life that this was just impossible for him.
“Have you wanted kids, Rem?” James asked quietly then, and Remus’ eyes came back into focus as he looked at Harry.
Harry, who was the spitting image of James, who had Lily’s eyes, who had Sirius’ mischief. Who was loved beyond measure and loved his parents exactly as they were.
Did he want kids? He certainly liked kids. He loved Harry. He thinks he’d be a good dad… that is, if it weren’t for the lyca-
“I can see where your mind is going, Remus.” Lily interrupted his spiralling then. “We didn’t ask if you should be a dad - which is not even a question, by the way - we asked if you wanted to be.”
“Yes.” Remus whispered; the answer came so easily.
“Alright then.” Sirius declared, sitting Harry up as if they both meant business. “So let’s pretend - even for a sodding second - that Y/N did end up pregnant by some random imaginary bloke that doesn’t exist. This would mean that she apparently had many options, yet she came running to tell you. She’s pregnant, and she wants to do this with you.”
And if Remus didn’t feel like an arse before, he certainly felt like one now. He knows you would never do that to him, of course he does. But even if you had the choice of 100 other men to father your child - all of whom would be able to provide for you better, who wouldn’t risk the safety of your child every month, who wouldn’t risk passing that curse down to your child, who wouldn’t make their life harder by simply being the offspring of a werewolf - you wanted it to be him. You wanted Remus.
The good, the bad, and The Wolf - you wanted him all.
“I think you need to go talk to your girlfriend, Moons.” James offered with a hopeful smile, and Remus couldn’t agree more.
✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧
The flat was quiet when Remus stepped through the floo; the entire space seemed spotless, evidence of your anxious tidying taking over after Remus took off.
Remus tried to tamp down the guilt and shame working its way up his throat as he took off his shoes and jacket, placing them in their designated spots lest he disrupt the perfect kept house you’ve worked on all afternoon (and well into the evening, now that Remus could see that the sun was long gone from the sky).
He found you in the living room at the desk bent over a book and some papers, and Remus found himself smiling without his consent when he was brought back to late nights in the Hogwarts library; his grades profiting greatly simply because he wanted to find any excuse to be in your company. He’d find out later that you were doing the same.
You looked over at him expectantly, and Remus felt his heart splinter at the cautious, uncertain expression on your face. It was as though you were afraid of him, like you weren’t sure what he was about to do or say.
“Dove?” He ventured. “Can we talk?”
“That’s what I’d been trying to do, Remus.” You merely whispered, and Remus can’t remember the last time he’d ever heard you sound so small.
He made for you immediately, crouching down beside your chair so that he could look up at you. “I’m so sorry, baby, I-”
“And you accused me of whoring around and ran out on me.” You added, and the final fracture split Remus’ heart in two when he saw your eyes well with tears. “Remus, I would never-”
“I know dove, I know.” Remus insisted, reaching up to take your face in both of his, quickly wiping at the tears falling from your lower lashes. “I know you wouldn’t. I know that, I just- I didn’t think it was possible for me, I didn’t think I’d ever be able to have kids.”
You sucked in a shuddering breath and closed your eyes, clearly trying to will away the onslaught of emotions. Remus felt like scum of the earth.
“I never imagined I’d ever get a chance like this.” He whispered.
“Well,” you offered primly, and Remus could tell you were working hard to imbue a certain levity to your words, “I’m not sure that you should, now. Taking off on me like that.”
Remus knew you were joking, but he sighed at you as he pouted his lips. “M’so sorry, dove.”
“You should be.” You agreed, though you leaned forward to press your forehead against his.
The two of you sat in silence for some time; you evening out your breathing, and Remus drawing circles with his thumbs where they rested on your arms as his legs started to cramp.
“Are you really going to have my baby?” He whispered then; the weight of the words finally settling somewhere deep within his soul, though not unpleasantly.
“Well, yes, but I’m not going to do it on my own.” You responded, sitting up to look at Remus imploringly. “So what do you say, Lupin? Are you in or out?”
In, of course. All the way in; for as long as he lived, for as long as you wanted him, he was in. He was all in.
Black!reader that is “I don’t smoke” (mitski) because if their parents ‘you need to be mean be mean to her me, she I can take it and put it inside of me’
hi babes, this was my take on Black!reader who was always hurting on behalf of everyone else. this fic is very angsty compared to my usual standards, so please keep that in mind before reading, and mind the warnings. of course, as typical on ellecdc we have a happy/hopeful ending
Remus Lupin x Black!sister reader after The Prank™ [4.7k words]
CW: The Prank™, Black family trauma, the Marauders aren't speaking to each other, depressive episodes and self-loathing, siblings get quasi-violent/threats of violence? but for a good cause?, Remus' typical self-loathing, discussion of forgiveness and hatred, breaking up [not pictured] and making up [pictured]
The worst part-
Though, even the thought caused Sirius to scoff humourlessly, because what could possibly be the worst part of this? What could possibly be any ‘more worse’ than the worst thing he’d ever done?
Still, Sirius supposed, wand to his head, the worst thing about all of this would be the fact that Sirius didn’t regret it. Not really.
If anything, he only felt stronger in his conviction that Snape deserved to be mauled violently to death.
Yet…
Yet he didn’t find he felt particularly good about it all; about the way Remus woke up with new, deep, angry scars across his face courtesy of The Wolf who finally had a chance at a meal only to have that stolen before he turned on himself, about the way he looked at Sirius with an expression of pure unadulterated betrayal and then fury when he realised what he had done, about the three well aimed hits he took from James, nor about the way he had to listen through the door as Remus ended your relationship with you, officially giving into all of his deep-seeded self-loathing and beliefs that no one could or should possibly accept him.
And all Sirius managed to do was prove that to be true; that Remus couldn’t trust anyone. And as a result, he robbed you of the only love you had access to save what little you received from Regulus and Sirius.
So perhaps Sirius regretted that, but without access to a Time Turner, there was nothing to be done.
There was nothing to be done.
James had told him that “until he made things right with Remus, he wanted nothing to do with him”, and while he didn’t blame James, Sirius knew he was officially on his own because there would be no ‘making things right’. There was nothing right, not with Sirius, at least.
Everything about Sirius was wrong.
There was nothing to be done.
He brought the cigarette back up to his lips, the sensitive skin at the corner of his mouth cracking painfully as he took a drag. He appreciated the sting as his teeth started to taste like iron; the pain was both a welcome reminder and a distraction of his inner turmoil as he kept his gaze on the grounds below him.
He couldn’t look at the common room; the red and gold that once felt like home had faded into shades of grey. He couldn’t look in a mirror; his permanently downturned lips and angry eyes found him looking more like his father than he did himself. He couldn’t look at his hands; they were blistered and cracked from his tryst in the forest where he emptied his lungs by screaming until he was choking on air and punching uselessly at a tree.
He couldn’t look at any of his friends, because they couldn’t even look at him; they hated him.
He was hated.
Sirius began to wonder how many more classes he could miss before McGonagall followed through on her threats to write home when the portrait hole opened.
He couldn’t look, though. Because he was hated.
“Aren’t you meant to be in class?” He heard you call to him, listening to your measured steps as you made your way to his spot on a windowsill.
“I could ask the same of you.” He gruffed; voice cracking from disuse, from chain smoking, and from the perpetual tightness he had felt since That Night.
“What are you doing, Sirius?” You sighed; you were exhausted. Exhausted of him.
He was exhausted too.
“I’m minding my business, Y/N.” He spat back, stubbing out his smoke before lighting another one with a snap of his fingers. “You should try it sometime.”
With a wave of your hand, the smoke was gone.
“What the fuck?”
“Get up.” You ordered simply, and Sirius shook his head at you.
“Go back to the dungeons.”
“No.”
“I’m not in the fucking mood, Y/N.”
You shrugged your shoulders. “Great, neither am I.”
“I don’t want you here.”
“And I don’t want to be here,” You agreed, voice rising at Sirius’ petulance, “but I’ve got a brother who decided to stop functioning a few weeks ago, so here I am.”
“I’m perfectly fine.”
“You smell.”
“Yeah well, you’re ugly.” Sirius sneered, pulling out another cigarette only for you to vanish the entire pack.
“When was the last time you showered?” You demanded, and Sirius refused to look at you.
“Hm? Or changed? Or ate? When’s the last time you brushed your teeth?”
Sirius kept his gaze pointed at the grounds outside.
“Sirius. Your hair is greasy, you smell stale, you look gaunt, and…they’re going to write home.”
“Good.” Sirius spat quickly. “As they should.”
“Is that what you want, Sirius? You want more people to be mad at you? More people to punish you?”
He didn’t answer.
“You’re already doing that enough for the rest of us.” You sighed, attempting to grab him by the arm only for him to shove you away.
“Get away from me, Y/N, I mean it.”
“No, get up.”
“Fuck off.”
“Now.” You nearly growled, and Sirius turned to see you aiming your wand in his direction, surprising a sarcastic laugh from him.
“What? Gonna hex me? Or are you gonna skip right to the Unforgivables, hm? Maybe an imperio? Or are you going to try some negative reinforcement? A crucio for disobedience? Salope stupide, de plus en plus comme ma mère chérie chaque jour.” (translation: stupid bitch, more and more like mother dearest every day)
Sirius flinched as you quickly raised your hand, prepared for a blow that you never landed.
He looked back to see you standing there, hand poised like it was ready to hit him as you stared at him defiantly; your cool, piercing eyes so much like his own, but the displeased pinch of your mouth was that of your mother.
“Is that what you want, Sirius? Huh? You want to be walloped a few more times on the nose so that everyone knows what a bad dog you are? You want to be punished for your misdeeds? Maybe get a few more of these?” And you punctuated your question by roughly grabbing at his jaw, fingers pressing into the painful bruises still colouring his cheeks courtesy of James. “That’s why you haven’t bothered healing them, yeah? So that everyone who sees will know what a right bastard you are."
He smacked your hand away with one arm and shoved you away from him with the other.
“Or,” you continued - rather unphased by Sirius’ aggression - grabbing his balled up fist and bringing it up to your own face, “is it me you want to hit, hm? You want everyone else to hurt just as badly as you are? The world has been just terrible to you Sirius, you were dealt an awful hand! You just want everyone to suffer for it; to pay for the wrongs done to you.”
“Stop it.” Sirius hissed, trying to yank his hand away from you to no avail.
“Hit me then, Sirius. Hit me. You wanna give into that Black Darkness? Want to be just as bad as they are? Just as bad as they’ve painted you to be? Go ahead.”
“Stop.”
“Then get up.”
“Y/N…” He warned.
“Get up, Sirius.”
“I hate you.” He spat, and your jaw tightened but you rolled your eyes as if you found him to be quite tiresome.
“Yeah, well, I don’t like you very much right now either.”
He stood then, giving you no time to get out of his way before he was towering over you. You never faltered, though. He let you grab him by the sleeve of his shirt, he let you drag him up the stairs towards his dormitory - somewhere he hadn’t been since That Night, opting instead to sleep on the couches, a time or two in the room of requirement, and one night in the Shrieking Shack as Padfoot - and he let you bodily shove him into the boys’ bathroom.
“Get in the shower, Sirius.”
“Sunny, please.”
“I’m not asking.” You said firmly. “Get in the shower.”
“I can’t.”
You swore under your breath as you dragged him over to the shower stall, said nothing as he went no bones and sunk to the floor, and simply turned the shower on, soaking you both.
“Y/N, stop.”
“Sirius, if you’re not going to take care of yourself, I will. Those are your choices.” You said defiantly, staring down at him as your school uniform became more and more drenched and your hair started sticking to the side of your neck.
Sirius let out a sigh and rested his head against his knees, and you accepted his relenting as the acquiescence it was.
You pointed the shower head at him and began lathering soap into his hair before doing much the same with the conditioner.
Sirius let the soap burn his eyes; welcomed it, even. He did nothing to help you with your tasks, though you didn’t ask him to. He did, however, draw the line at you trying to disrobe him.
“These need to come off, Sirius.” You said, pulling at his uniform shirt like something disgusting you found in a gutter.
“And I will take them off once you’re no longer staring at me.” He growled, causing you to scoff a humourless laugh.
“Like hells I’m letting you out of my sight again.”
Sirius simply groaned.
“How are you going to wash your body, Sirius? Please don’t tell me you’re going to make me do that too.”
Sirius ripped the bar of soap out of your hands and glared at you as he shoved it beneath his clothes, washing himself the best he could under his sopping wet uniform.
Though he was more than likely still sudsy, you shut the water off and vanished what water you could from both of your beings; each of your heads and uniforms still dripping wet as you flung open the bathroom door and marched across the hall.
Sirius’ mouth ran dry when you knocked on their dormitory door; somewhere between you confronting him in the common room and forcing him to bathe, classes seemed to have ended.
He should’ve flung himself out of the common room window when he had the chance; he couldn’t see Remus, James, or Peter. They hated him.
He was hated.
Remus wouldn’t talk to any of them, and James and Peter weren’t talking to Sirius. Even though Remus had told them he didn’t want them “taking sides”, he didn’t seem too bothered watching Sirius get iced out.
Because he hated him.
Sirius was hated.
“Oh…hi, Y/N…” James offered awkwardly as he opened the door.
You barely spared him a glance. “Potter.” You greeted simply as you dipped under his arm which had been holding the door open and marched towards Sirius’ bed.
Remus pulled his head through the hole of his jumper as he watched you start digging through Sirius’ trunk, sharing a quick glance with James and Peter before his gaze moved to Sirius all but cowering in the doorframe.
“Are you…wet?” Peter asked cautiously then, all three boys staring at you in bemusement as you packed up a duffle.
“Yeah.” You responded simply, throwing Sirius a towel that he (thankfully) caught as everyone’s eyes fell to him.
Sirius quickly ran the towel over his person as you let his trunk close with a loud thunk, hiked the bag you packed for him over your shoulder, and stalked out of the dorm room without sparing any of the boys - including your ex boyfriend - a passing glance.
“Don’t you hate me?” Sirius whispered as he allowed you to lead him to the Slytherin dorms.
“No, Sirius. I hate what you did.” You sighed, never faltering in your steps but strengthening your hold on your brother's wrist. “I love you, that’s why I’m here.”
Remus had tried telling Peter and James to leave him alone; he wanted to be alone.
Yet somehow, every morning, the two of them would sit across from him in the Great Hall, say hello, and then talk amongst themselves whilst pretending he wasn’t there.
That was fine, though. Remus was sort of pretending he wasn’t there, too.
But while Remus could ignore James and Peter’s existence, Sirius’ existence, and even his own if he really tried hard enough, he couldn’t ignore your existence.
He’d been more than slightly confused when you stormed into his dorm room last night completely drenched without your eyes ever cutting to him and packed up a bag for your equally drenched brother.
He’d been more than slightly hurt when you left without sparing him a glance, too. Though he figured perhaps he deserved that. This is what he wanted, right?
Scratch that, actually, what he had wanted was to be safe and loved and protected by the people who promised to do that for him. That was what he had wanted.
It wasn’t until Peter and James paused in their conversation to look at Remus concernedly that he realised he had caused his tea to overflow by means of accidental magic.
Remus threw a wad of napkins at the mess as he made to stand, but his legs felt wholly incapable of holding him up when he saw you enter the Great Hall, quickly followed by a rather dispirited looking Sirius who nearly bumped into you as you paused at the entrance.
Your gaze automatically fell to the Slytherin table where Regulus was shooting you and Sirius a perturbed look.
You turned then towards the Gryffindor table when your gaze fell to Remus.
He found himself unable to break your gaze; he wondered if you could see the heartbreak pooling in his eyes, or the longing painted in the space between his brows.
He wondered if you could even manage to see past the new, ferocious scars decorating his face.
He certainly couldn’t.
Your shoulders fell as you shook your head - so minutely that Remus wondered if he had only imagined it - before you grabbed Sirius’ sleeve and dragged him towards the Ravenclaw table where both Pandora and Benjy accepted the pair of you without issue.
He was simultaneously grateful that neither of you were sitting over here and furious that the two of you deigned to sit anywhere else. You were his; his friend, and his girlfriend, you were supposed to be here with him.
But he didn’t want either of you over here, he didn’t want…
He didn’t…
“Moony?” James asked cautiously.
“Don’t call me that.” Remus spat before he stood abruptly and stormed out of the Great Hall.
He never wanted any of this; sure, he wanted to go to school, but he never wanted friends. He didn’t need friends, he’d never had them before. He met some kind kids on the train who ended up being his roommates, but he was ready and willing to hold them at arm's length.
And then…
And then he found that he rather liked their company, and that they seemed to enjoy his. And then he found that he cared for them, and that they seemed to care for him. And then they found out, and they were accepting of him. And then they did the impossible and found a way to be there for him like no one else before, they showed up for him in ways no one else had ever tried, in ways he never imagined possible.
And then he fell in love, and then…
And then.
And then one of the worst people Remus could imagine to know learned of his darkest secret, his biggest shame, his lifelong curse.
And he learned that from one of his best friends; Snape learned of Remus’ darkest secret, biggest shame, and lifelong curse from one of his best friends.
And suddenly, everything everyone had ever said about lycanthropy was true; he was a monster, unloveable, a threat and hazard to everyone around him.
And as he paused in front of a window where he could see his reflection - three violent claw marks stretching from his left eye across the bridge of his nose down over his lips - the monster stared back at him.
He was a beast. He was a monster playing dress up; cosplaying as a wizard day in and day out when in reality, deep down, he was a vicious, disgusting freak.
And now everyone knew it; Sirius knew it, you knew it, Snape knew it.
And for those who didn’t know it, they could suspect it; rumours flying around of how Remus managed to be mauled by some creature and survive to tell the tale, because the only thing scarier than a beast among men is a man that can take on a beast and live to tell the tale.
The worst part-
But the thought made Remus snort humourlessly, because really, how could there be a worst part of any of this? What could possibly be ‘more worse’ than the worst thing to ever happen to him, second only to being bitten all those years ago.
But Remus supposed, wand to his head, that the worst part of all of this was losing you.
Remus let out another humourless chuckle as he let his head fall with a thunk against the windowpane.
And the absolute fucking kicker was that losing you had been his own doing.
For the first time in perhaps five days, you were alone.
You sat in the farthest corner of the library near rows of tomes with enough layers of dust on them to promise you some solitude as you waited for Sirius’ meeting with McGonagall to end.
You’d convinced him (rather forced him) to start attending his classes again, though you were certain he wasn’t exactly a delight to have in the classroom at the moment. You only hoped it was enough for the school to refrain from writing home.
You dropped your quill and pressed your fingers into your eyes hard enough to see stars. Sirius was displeased with you for ordering him about. Regulus was displeased with you for babysitting Sirius and ‘cleaning up’ after him. Your parents were displeased with you seemingly because you were born with free will. Your professors were displeased with you for submitting sloppy work because you spent the majority of your time doing Sirius’ for him in order to keep him from being expelled. Your roommates were displeased with you for smuggling a dog into your room for the past week, even though he was very well behaved and slept dutifully on the end of your bed. And Remus…
And Remus.
He had looked so hollow and… dead when he told you this needed to end, that he couldn’t see you anymore. You didn’t think he was capable of occlusion, but that was the only thing that could possibly explain how he could manage to look at you like you didn’t even matter to him anymore.
Perhaps you didn’t.
You didn’t matter.
Perhaps you were too much like your brother; he couldn’t forgive him, so you were unforgivable too. Perhaps you were just too much of a Black for him; perhaps he realised the mistake in keeping your kind around.
You couldn’t blame him, you supposed.
You were a tiresome bunch. You didn’t often want to keep your kind around, either.
You shook yourself out of your pity party and returned to your notes, only to watch as Remus pulled out a chair opposite of you at your table.
“The library’s plenty large, Lupin; I’m sure if you looked harder you could find another table.” you offered, hoping for indignation but landing somewhere around disheartened.
“Is Sirius alright?” He murmured quietly, and you forced your eyes up to meet his.
He looked dead tired; his eyes were sunken and his skin was missing its warm glow. But in his eyes laid an earnestness that had you remembering just how wholly safe and full you felt whenever you found yourself pinned beneath his gaze.
You quickly looked away.
“Not really.” You replied honestly. “But I think he deserves that.”
Remus made a noncommittal sound as he continued staring at the top of your head; you couldn’t see it, mind you, but you could certainly feel it.
“And you?”
“What about me?”
“Are you alright?”
“Why?” You demanded, and you looked up in time to see Remus finally look down into his lap.
You stared at him as he wrung his hands in his lap while you catalogued the scars across his face. You wondered if where they landed over his eyes caused him any vision issues. You wondered what the ones over the bridge of his nose would feel like as you traced your fingertip over them. You wondered what the ones on his lips might feel like under your own.
You hated them, knowing that he did too, knowing how he came to have them. But you loved them because they were his, because it was him. Because you loved him.
“Are you alright?” You decided to ask then, and he looked up at you as if he was surprised you were still there.
“No.” He responded quickly.
“I’m sorry.” You offered, though you knew not what for. You really hadn’t done anything.
“How-” Remus started, though he quickly looked back down at his hands as he searched for the words.
You waited for him.
“How…can you help him?”
You felt your eyebrows furrow, because whatever you thought Remus might’ve been about to ask, it certainly wasn’t that.
“What?” You asked dumbly.
“How can you help Sirius? After all that he’s done?” He continued gently.
“I… because, Remus, someone has to.”
Remus nodded as he considered your response. “There’s a… part of me that feels as though you’re choosing him over me.”
“Remus. You chose; you made that decision for me. I didn’t choose anyone’s side.”
“So if we were still dating right now, would you have forgiven Sirius?”
“Forgiven?” You repeated incredulously. “Who said anything about forgiveness?”
Remus simply blinked at you owlishly.
“Remus, I cannot just sit here and let him whither away into nothing because I’m mad at him. He fucked up - big time - there’s no question about it. And deep down, I know he knows that too; that’s why he’s been torturing himself over it. There is no way in which I could treat him that would be worse than the way he’s treating himself right now. But I-”
You shook your head as you fought off the stinging in your sinuses; you did not want to cry in front of him.
“There is no one rooting for us, Remus. No one. You’re pissed at him - rightfully so, and completely justified - Potter and Pettigrew are pissed at him too, he’s pissed at himself and I… someone has to, Remus. Someone has to root for him, I can’t…I can’t just abandon him, not when there’s no one else.”
“I can’t… I can’t feel bad for him, Y/N.” Remus exclaimed helplessly.
“I’m not asking you to; I’m simply telling you why I do.”
“I don’t…I don’t know how to forgive him, dove, I don’t know how to not hate him for this.” He nearly sobbed, holding his hands out helplessly as if the grief and torment were tangible things that he could crush in the palm of his hands if only he could catch them. “Why don’t you hate him? Please tell me? Because I genuinely want to know. I need to know - I don’t…I don’t want to hate him.”
“He’s my brother, Rem.” You said simply, shrugging your shoulders helplessly. “I hate what he’s done, I hate the choice he made, I hate the outcome of that choice, I hate what he did to you, I hate what that’s done to me, but… but I don’t hate him. I can't hate him.”
The two of you sat in silence for a while; the only sounds coming from the odd book being magically sent back to its shelf and the odd voices from students downstairs when a study group got a touch too boisterous.
“Do you hate me?” Remus whispered then; your eyes flit up to meet his which were already steady on you.
“No, Remus.” You whispered back.
He nodded as his gaze fell. “Just what I did?”
Your lip quirked in the faintest ghost of a smirk. “Yes I…I sort of hated that, I suppose.”
“I don’t want to hate him.” He repeated.
“I know.”
“Do you-” Remus paused, turning away and screwing his eyes shut as you realised he was crying. “Do you think you’ll ever be able to forgive me?”
“Remus…”
“I was scared, and hurt, and angry, and-” he hiccuped, reaching across the table as he nearly begged for your hand. You gave it willingly. “-and I hated him but I mostly hated myself.”
“I know, Rem.”
“Please? Do you…do you think you’d be able to forgive me? For leaving, for running, for abandoning you? You’ve never once given up on the people important to you and one bad thing happens to me and…and I just throw you away, I-” He looked at you as if he was only realising all of this now; hurt, frustration, anger, and betrayal all on your behalf flickered behind his eyes. “I’m so sorry.”
“It’s okay, Remus.” You insisted, but he quickly shook his head at you.
“It’s not; it’s not okay, I- … I’m not as gracious as you, clearly, but I just…I just feel like if you’re strong enough to forgive me then there’s…there’s hope for me, too. That maybe I can be strong enough to forgive Sirius.”
“You’re forgiven, Remus.”
His eyes fell shut as more tears fell, but you were sure it was more from relief than it was from pain.
Both boys - Remus and Sirius - were so good at torturing themselves over choices they’ve made that you were certain no one else would ever have to as long as they both should live.
And for different reasons, you loved them both beyond measure.
“I don’t deserve forgiveness.” Remus whispered.
“Of course you do.” You countered, squeezing his hand in yours and watching as some of the tension in his shoulders dissipated.
“Does Sirius?” He asked quietly, keeping his eyes pointed at where your joined hands sat on the table between you.
You’re not sure when or how you became the leading expert on conflict resolution and forgiveness; perhaps it was in refereeing Sirius and Regulus’ petty squabbles growing up, perhaps it was in shielding Regulus from your parents fury, perhaps it was in trying to tame Sirius enough to keep him out of trouble, perhaps it was in being the youngest cousin along with Regulus and watching the siblings before you find their own ways to define what was right and good, perhaps…perhaps it came from the many examples of conflict and spite that you had witnessed growing up.
“I don’t know, Rem.” You answered honestly. “I think…I think the only one who can really know that is you.”
If he was displeased by your answer, he didn’t show it.
“But,” you continued cautiously, “I don’t think you have to forgive him for what he’s done. You just have to decide whether you’re going to hate him for it or love him in spite of it.”
His lips pursed, pulling at scars both new and old in ways you’re not sure you’d ever grow tired of watching, as he nodded. “I don’t want to hate him.”
“I know, Rem.”
“I don’t want James or Peter to hate him either…I don’t know why they were willing to watch him wither away like that.”
You couldn’t hide your smile at that; the first genuine smile since That Night. “They don’t, and they weren’t.” You countered, only moving to explain when he looked at you in bemusement. “They were the ones who told me how bad he was getting…they wanted to make sure someone was looking after him without giving into his pity party.”
“Always taking care of everyone else, hm?” Remus murmured at you, bringing your hand up to his lips to press a delicate kiss to your knuckles.
You simply hummed noncommittally.
“Can I return the favour?”
“You can certainly try, but I’m quite high maintenance.” You teased gently.
“That’s alright.” He agreed quickly. “You’re more than worth the effort.”
You breathed out a quiet laugh through your nose. “Whatever you say, Lupin.”
Would you be willing write a Remus fic about that super blue moon that is supposed to be happening??
like maybe it’s so so bad for him and he takes it all out on reader and she’s really sensitive and you can go from there lol
that’d be great love but it’s okay if not, thanks!! <3
thanks for the request! decided to make this with our Black!sister reader since we've been having fun with her <3
Remus Lupin x Black!reader who he takes out his Super Blue Moon frustrations on [1.6k words]
CW: Remus was being mean/rude to reader but we don't really see the angst... just the consequences of the angst, hurt/comfort, big brother Sirius having absolutely NONE of the nonsense!
“Hey moons, have you seen my sister around lately?” Sirius asked nonchalantly as he entered their shared dorm room; noticing immediately the tension in Remus’ shoulders as he positioned his body away from the door.
“How should I know?” Remus muttered darkly. “I’m not her keeper.”
And though Sirius had tried to be cool when he first realised his baby sister and best friend had less than platonic feelings for each other and vowed to stay out of their relationship, there were unfortunately some things that Sirius couldn’t let slide.
“Did she eat all of your chocolate?” He asked calmly, causing Remus to roll his shoulders in an attempt to pacify himself.
“No?”
“M’kay.” Sirius agreed as he put his school books in his trunk. “Did she throw your books into the Black lake?”
“Sirius.” Remus hissed warningly.
“Did she tell Snape to sneak out after curfew to the Whomping Willow one night so that he would come face to face with Moony, only for James to have to fight you off of him as Snape ran for his life? Oh, wait, that was me.”
“Fuck off, Sirius.”
“No thanks.” Sirius huffed as he closed his trunk with a thud. “Well, if she hasn’t done any of those things, why are you treating her like such an arse?”
“I’m not treating her like anything, Pads. Stay out of it.” Remus nearly growled as he stood abruptly from his desk and moved towards his bed.
“Shan’t.” Sirius refused, following his friend across the room. “You chose to date my sister, you have to deal with the consequences.”
“Great bloody choice I made.” Remus muttered petulantly, yelping when a book hit him in the head.
“Are you fucking kidding me?” He hissed as he looked at Sirius who was staring him down defiantly.
“If you know what’s good for you, Rem, you will never speak about my sister like that again, got it?”
Remus seemed to relent as he laid back on his bed and pinched the bridge of his nose and tried to bring his boiling anger down to a simmer.
“I’m the first to admit that Black’s are not often a good bunch, but if a Black could be perfect, she’s about as close as they would come. And I don’t like seeing her this terrified.”
Remus sat up at that, narrowing his eyes at his friend in confusion. “She’s not terrified of me.”
Sirius shrugged in disagreement. “She tenses every time you walk into the Great Hall and can’t seem to make eye contact with you, which usually only happens after a crucio or two from mummy dearest.”
Sirius watched the fight leave Remus almost immediately as he looked down at his lap in shame. “She’s…sensitive, Rem. We all are, we-” Sirius cut himself off as he stared unseeingly at the stone wall behind his mates head. “We can’t handle these kinds of moods as well as some other people can; tension and anger always led to pain and punishment growing up.”
“It’s not her, Pads.” Remus whispered.
“I know it’s not. Somewhere deep down she might know that too but…”
“I know.” Remus offered, pressing the heels of his palms into his eyes. “It’s this…this fucking moon, I- it’s driving me barmy.”
“I understand that, but you can’t take it out on her; it’s not her fault.” Sirius offered gently before retreating from the dorm to allow his friend to digest what he said; he may not like the fact that his best friend and sister found their way to each other, but he also knew that both of you deserved to be happy. If he could help you both achieve that by being supportive, well, supportive he would be.
Remus felt shame course through his body as he walked through the library in search of you.
Between his senses being heightened this close to the moon, the additional magic at play with the super blue moon, and the fact that he knew you were a creature of habit and had a table you often frequented, it didn’t take him long to find you.
“Mind if I join you?” He asked quietly, feeling his heart crack painfully when you did, indeed, flinch at the sound of his voice and sat impossibly straighter in your chair.
“Okay.” You whispered in response, not looking away from your book as he moved to sit across the table from you, though he could tell you were no longer reading as your eyes remained glued to one spot.
“I’m sorry that I’ve been such an arse, Dove.”
“It’s okay.” You said quickly, still not looking at him.
“No it’s not.” He argued softly.
He watched your jaw tighten as you repositioned yourself in your chair in obvious discomfort.
“It’s this moon.” You explained breezily.
“Which isn’t your fault, and I shouldn’t be taking it out on you- dove, can you look at me? Please?”
He watched your throat constrict as you stole yourself and brought your eyes up to his. They were glossy, but not like you were about to cry - glossy like you were hiding, like you were occluding.
He hated it; hated that you were hiding from him, hated that you felt like you had to hide from him, hated that he made you feel like you had to hide from him, hated that you even knew how to hide inside your own mind at all.
“Dovey, look at me.” He repeated gently in hopes that you’d let the walls down, daring to reach a hand across the table in invitation.
He watched as your eyes flit to his hand and back up again and he tried to keep his face neutral; no pressure or force as he let you decide if you were willing to trust him.
You placed your hand in his, but kept your gaze pointed at your joined hands.
“I know better than to let my moods affect you, sweetheart. I’m sorry.” He pressed sincerely.
You scoffed and moved your gaze to one of the rafters above you. “I’m not some delicate flower you need to tiptoe around, Remus; I can handle a bad mood.” You shot back defensively.
“I know…” He whispered as he rubbed circles on the back of your hand with his thumb.
He knew you weren’t a delicate flower; on the contrary, you were one of the strongest people he’d ever met.
You gave the entire Hufflepuff house a run for their money on who was the most loyal wix in the castle. You always looked out for your brothers, constantly playing referee, devils advocate, and a surrogate parent for the two young Black boys. You grew up making sure Sirius never acted too outlandishly or brought too much trouble onto himself, making sure Regulus wasn’t completely beaten down into nothing and grew up to be a semi-decent boy, and taking the blame when you were unable to do either of those things.
And to top it all off, you put up with him; a foul-mouthed, poor, Welsh, anger-issue riddled boy who didn’t deserve you.
“Baby, look at me, please.” He begged, reaching forward with his other hand so he was holding your one in between both of his.
You turned your gaze to him and it seemed to be taking everything in your power to hold his gaze.
“I’m so sorry, my love.” He whispered, bringing your hand to his lips to press a kiss to your fingers.
Your eyes tracked the movement before flitting back up to his.
You offered him a curt nod and chewed on your bottom lip. “I didn’t mean to upset you.” You whispered, eyes turning glossy for a whole new reason.
Remus made a pitiful sound from the back of his throat and stood to move to the chair beside you, never relinquishing his grasp on your hand.
“You didn’t upset me, dove, I was just upset. And an arse; don’t forget the part about me being an arse.”
You offered him a wet chuckle at that as you sniffed, returning his hold of your hand and giving it a squeeze.
“I hate not being able to…help, to take any of the burden off of you, to make it at all less painful for you.”
“You do, sweetheart, you do. By being here, and being with me, and being patient even when I’m an arse, okay?” He insisted, punctuating each reason he was grateful for you with a squeeze of your hand. “I don’t deserve it but I’m so lucky to have you.”
“You do deserve it.” You murmured, bringing your eyes back up to his.
And he couldn’t help himself, really; he had always been powerless against the pull you had on him and this time was no different as he closed the distance between the two of you to press a lingering kiss to your lips.
“The point of all this,” Remus said as he broke away from you and bumped your nose with his, “is that you didn’t deserve to be treated the way that I treated you this week, and I won’t let it happen again, okay?”
You gave him a sad smile and gave his nose a bump in return.
“How mad was Sirius?”
“Fuming.” Remus admitted immediately.
“Did he throw a pillow at you?”
“A book.” He corrected solemnly, earning him an astonished look from you.
“Oh…you crossed a line.”
Remus nodded abashedly. “Honestly? I think it might be harder to get him to forgive me than it was to get you to forgive me.”
Remus relished in the surprised laugh that bubbled out of you at that, and he vowed to never ever let another moon cause him to go this long without hearing it again.
