I do this specific kind of hallucinating where I’m not sure if my memories are real-
I have black gaps in different periods of my life where I don’t remember a thing (like my mom’s entire second marriage) and it’s terrifying because - what the fuck happened at that time that my brain is trying to block it out to protect me??? And I’ve hallucinated things that I totally thought happened that friends and family swore to me absolutely did not happen. And the opposite- I thought a memory I had was fake about a friend who tried to commit suicide and a few years after, she told me it did really happen and I was so shocked because I thought that was one of the ones my brain made up
Brains are terrifying and it definitely makes me value my current moments more since I don’t know if I’ll remember them correctly in the future- it also makes me choose not to hold too much weight on the past