Title : That's How I Feel
Warning : None. Italics means flashback. Y/f/c => your favorite color. Y/f/sc => your favorite summer clothe.
Words : around 2260
Pairing : Loki x Black!Chubby!Female!Reader
Requested by @rootbeergoddess "Can you write a story where a chubby, brown skinned reader is dating Loki and Loki decides to spoil her one day by taking her to the mall and buying her everything she wants?"
Masterlist // Request
My name is y/f/n y/l/n, I'm a young adult living in 21th century. You wonder why I would say that ? Simple. I'm a woman, black and chubby, and apparently in this era this is a huge problem. I didn't do anything wrong, I mean yeah I love good food and I'm not overly fond of any kind of sport but is this really enough of a reason to basically bully me everyday. Let me answer this basic question : HELL NO !!! I'm pissed of all this bad comments about my appearance, what I should do to lose weight, to eat healthier... I can't stand the fact that we are being judge (yes because of course I'm far from being the only one) based on our looks rather than our sharpe mind. I know my worth, and I am far more worthy than all of these piece of...garbage...those wanabe decent human. Right now I seem like I am incredibly confident but I'm not. I'm alone in my room talking to myself in my head because I am not capable of doing it in front of my bullies !! You wanna know what happened for me to be alone instead of happilly working ? Let me tell you a story...
I live in a cute two bedrooms appartment not far from the Avengers quarter (I'd say 20 minutes on foot). It's a charming place, the neighbors are the nicest and most of all not judgmental. I live alone but sometimes my boyfriend come to spend the night at my house, those are the best night that could happen. But today I woke up alone in my king size bed, unfortunatelly for me he had an important meeting early this morning so he had to go early. His name is Loki of Asgard heir to the crown of Jotunheim, adoptive son of Odin, brother of Thor and most importantly the Holder of my heart. It's been 4-5 months that we are actually together but we've known each other for about one year. We met at the Avengers compound where I worked as an assistant for Pepper Potts before I became the analyst that I am today, but that's a story for another time. As I was saying I woke up alone this morning, it was 8:30 am. I'm not due to work until 10:00 am. I decided to take my breakfast while mentally visualise what I will do to work, whilst thinking about how to avoid my mescreants of co-workers (you read it right co-workers not collegues, I'm not appreciate enough to call them that, I only consider Bonnie a collegue, she's the closest thing I have to a friend at work. ). Once my coffe and my toasts spread with honey were eaten I went to to the bathroom to prepare myself. The most difficult part for me is to chose what I am going to wear if I don't want any comments. The purpose is to clearly become invisible, like a shadow lurking in the corner of the room. I don't want to wear a cute dress, a fluffy skirt or a top with some lacework on it cause i will 100% receive insults, mockery, and I just don't have the strengh anymore, it already happened before it will happened again I can't do anything to stop it. I already try when I was younger and guess what "it's just words don't listen to them", thanks a lot I feel better now ! I finally decided on a simple dark tight blue jeans and a white shirt with an afro motif on it (just like me). I put some liner and mascara and I was ready to face my personal hell. I went to work on foot, it was sunny with a bit of fresh wind, perfect for 20 minutes of walk. I arrived at exactly 9:50 am, and went to my desk to begin with my daily task. It took time and mental energy cause i'm a bit perfectionnist. My boss knows of that fact and are still satisfied with me because my work is ALWAYS perfect and NEVER need rework, the fact that I won the award of the best employee last year and this year too is something that didn't escape me. That's why I went to the communal area to get some tea and a chocolate and pistachio cookie, I really needed it. Just before I arrived I heard my name being said, and clearly not in a friendly way. I stayed hidden in the corridor to listen to what was being said. I recognised the voice of five persons (three men and two women, all agents of shield), they were talking about how fat I am, how ugly I am, how my clothes are too tight and not meant for me. But if it was only about my body it would be just like usual, nothing to worry about, but they were talking about my personnality (low confidence, shy, discret) and about Loki, and that, I couldn't stand it ! How dare they insult him after all he has done for humanity, for shield, for them, only to be treated as a lesser man, it's absolutelly despicable. Understanding that whatever I could do I will never be enough for them made me sad and angry at myself. I didn't wanna eat anymore and decided to quit work for the day (don't worry I informed Pepper) and get back home and stay alone in my bedroom, laying on my dark green new bedsheets.
I stay alone like this for quite some time until I hear the familiar voice of my tender one.
"I came as fast as I could, Pepper warned me you left work early what happened ?" He seems so worried, I don't want him to see me as a weak little human even if I know that he doesn't see me like that at all.
"Don't worry it's nothing. Lets talk about something else, how was the meeting ?" He was looking at me as if he could read me, maybe he can, he is too cute, look at his face, his eyes, his...sad smile ? What happen to him ? "Why the sad face Loki ?"
"I'm not sad, I know what you're going through on a personnal level trust me, plus there is no such thing as secrecy when you work with and for the Avengers and shield. I know what those pathetic little things called humans have said about you, your collegue Bonnie was close to the area when she heard them, she called them on their bullshit (has been insulted short after) and came to Pepper who then came to me right after." He come to sit beside me, his face coming closer to mine, his hands taking my face in his, our forehead touches, our eyes getting close, we breath each other's in, it was so calm and tender. "The things you make me feel princess, I don't think you understand the power you have over me that's insane !" His smile when he said this makes my tears almost came free. We kissed each other slowly with a lot of passion until we stop to breath.
"I just don't understand why they are so mean with me, yes I'm black but I can't change that, yes I'm chubby but i'm don't have cardiac problems, cholesterol issues or diabete, I walk everyday to go to work, I'm as healthy as I can be and those buffons can go to hell because I'm so freaking smart that they can't understand how wonderful I am !!"
"You have a lot of confidence in you princess so why don't you use it at work ?"
"You mean why I do not take the lead ? You mean taking the lead the same way I take it last time we were together in bed ?" I was trying so hard to change the topic of conversation but that was vain.
"Hmm you're being a naughty girl don't play this game right now I'm being serious."
"You're no fun !! Well, when I'm with you I feel respected, love. I trust you the way i never have thought I could. You never judge me and you make me feel whole, you're the first person I see myself with for the long term, you're the one for me and I hope you will love me for the rest of our time." Tears were flowing from his eyes, he takes me in his arms and kisses me for all his worth. The moans that come out of my mouth was like a fuel to him, he could never stop loving me. "Come with me princess, we're going shopping !"
The road to the mall was short cause we live close by and we took the car. It was still pretty early in the afternoon, maybe 3:00 pm si we had all the time we wanted, we were not in a hurry. When he parked the car I still didn't know why we came here.
"Why did we came here Loki ?" I asked him.
"I have some items to purchase Princess." He says with with a smile that could bright the entire universe.
"How many items do you have to purchase?" He smirked at me, and calmly told me :
"A healthy amount".
We entered the mall, I didn't know what to look for, it's been so many time i didn't come here, work kept me grounded in a way. I always asked one of my neighbors to do my shopping in exchange of some petsitting (when hollidays comes, familly week-end...it's better than abandonment if you ask me). There were so many things I'd like to buy but I didn't do it. Loki was leading to the litterature corner of the mall, I remembered that my favorite author just published a book days ago but didn't purchase it. Without a word, he took the book and paid for it, I know he loves reading maybe he is a y/f/a's fan. We looked at each other, smiling.
"Where do you want to go now ?
"I heard about the new summer collection, I'd like to go and check it out of that's okay with you princess." How could I ever refuse this face. He took my hand in his and lead me to the summer clothes sections. There were to many wonderful skirts, dresses I couldn'tstop looking at them...but would I ever be worthy of wearing them...
"Princess what do you think about this gorgeous y/f/c y/f/sc ? I think it will compliment your figure and make your pop more."
"Why would you wanna buy it ? That's not exactly what you would wear my sweet."
"It's not for me" he said laughing, "That's for you !"
"...But why ?" I was shocked.
"Why would I want to spoiled the best thing that ever happened to me you mean ? Because I can and most importantly I want to do it. I want you to see yourself as I see you. I want you to feel self confident enough to allowed yourself to wear whatever you want without feeling self concious. And above all I want to please you as the Princess tou deserve. So I'm asking you, will you let me buy you books, clothes, make up, knits..."
"How do you know about the knits ?" I asked interumpting him.
"It doesn't matter, I know that you knit some tiny socks and caps for orphans babies, that you don't tell to anyone cause you don't brag about the good thing you do because that's not who you are and I love you all the more for it. You take so much care about people you don't even know but never about you. I'm here to change it I'm here to take care of you the way you won't do."
"Loki...I..I..Thanks you". I was crying my soul out. It wasn't from sadness but from hapiness, i couldn't describe the amount of love I felt for him this right moment. We hugged each other, the time stopped around us and we were floating like two leaves dancing with the wind.
"Lets go eat something, I saw a french backery at the other end of the mall."
"Good idea, I didn't eat since breakfast so I'm a little bit starving." I happilly answered.
"There is a lot of choices princess, croissant, paint au chocolat, chicolate chips cookie...a millefeuille..." he was undecided.
"Why not take the four and split, this way de could taste and eat a bit of everything." I told him, secretly hopping he'd say yes, cause, lets be honnest here, french food was literally my péché mignon (*cute sin/guilty pleasure*). He was more than happy with this idea, and more than happy to share his food with me. We talked a lot, purchase many other items, especially a bouquet of several flowers ( bouton d'or for joy ; white camellias for the eternal love ; fuchsias for unbreakable love ; gardenias for honesty ; lavender for respect and tenderness, last flowers but not the least the white roses for pure love). I was so overwelmed with joy that I couldn't contain my tears.
"What did I do to deserve all this Loki ?" I asked crying.
"There is no reason really..." he looked me in the eyes and I saw all the love pouring into them as he continued "...that's how I feel."
*This is the end of my first fic, hope you liked it, remember, english is not my mother tongue so there might be some mistakes.*
*If you want to request check out here*
*Likes, Comments and Reblogs are also appreciated*