#blackadder quotes

[ofserpentsnoir]

"Do you think the Roundheads will find him?" "Certainly not. I've assured him that he's as likely to be caught... ...as a fox being chased by a pack of one-legged hunting tortoises." "Is that true?" "Yes, of course it's true. Have you ever known me to lie to the King?" "Yes."

"No." "Exactly."

[my-secret-shame]

[brasskingfisher]

I made a note in my diary on the way over here. Simply says: "Bugger!"

[headlesshorsemanxiii]

Well, I've failed hideously at the first two, let's see if I live long enough to at least achieve the third one. . .

[ofserpentsnoir]

"This way, my lord..."

[ofserpentsnoir]

"Here it is, sir: the very cornerstone of English scholarship. This book, sir, contains every word in our beloved language." "Hmm..." "Every single one, sir?" "Every single word, sir!" "Oh, well, in that case, sir, I hope you will not object if I also offer the Doctor my most enthusiastic contrafibularities." "What?" "`Contrafibularites', sir? It is a common word down our way." "Damn..!" "Oh, I'm sorry, sir. I'm anaspeptic, frasmotic... even compunctious to have caused you such pericombobulation." "What? What? WHAT?"

[ofserpentsnoir]

"There are only two options. Either you do it, or you don't do it. If you do it, you don't get paid. If you don't do it, you get beheaded."

[ofserpentsnoir]

"Well, tell me about these oppressed masses. I mean, what are they so worked up about?" "They're worked up, sir, because they're so poor they are forced to have children simply to provide a cheap alternative to turkey at Christmas."