300 words of cisgirl!klaine, because I have a headcanon that Kurt as a girl would have small boobs and would complain about how no shirts fit her. And then Blaine would have big ones and she would unknowingly flaunt it, like canon Blaine does his butt. I mean. . .
Kate sighed as she put the third shirt in her stack on, scowling it sagged down in the chest area, like all the previous shirts she tried on did.
“Blaire,” she whined through the closed dressing room door, “none of these shirts freaking fit, because all the shirts these days are made for busty girls.”
“No, they are,” Kate groaned as she stripped the shirt off in the discard pile. “I wouldn’t expect you to understand, since you seem obviously have no issues fitting into every shirt perfectly.” She could picture Blaire sitting in her seat and preening. Kate shook her head and smiled fondly at the thought – if there was something that Blaire unknowingly did, it was showing off her well-endowed chest area.
Boobs. God, Kate hated objectifying girls like that, like it was the only part of them that mattered, but it was so freaking hard not to when every single shirt was made for girls with big. boobs.
Giving up, Kate stacked up her discarded, too big in the boob area shirts and walked out of the dressing room. Blaire looked up, her smile falling a little when she saw the scowl on Kate’s face.
“If it helps,” Blaire grinned again, her eyes roaming up and down Kate’s body, “you really don’t have a problem filling out your pants.”
“Oh my god,” Kate groaned, walking out of the dressing rooms and into the main part of the store. “You are horrible.”
Fic: Five Times Burt Was Told That Kurt and Blaine Were Just Friends, and One Time He Wasn't
1. A Few Days after the Wedding
“Dad,” Kurt calls as he rushes down the stairs, pausing at the mirror to make sure his hair is still perfect, “I’m heading out.”
Kurt waits a moment until he sees his dad stick out from around the corner of the kitchen. “Where are you going?” He asks, raising an eyebrow at Kurt. “You have about a day left before you and Rachel head back to New York, and I know for a fact that she’s busy with her dads and that most of your other friends have already left.”
Kurt blushes, because he can tell just by the glint in his dad’s eyes that he knows where he’s going. “Well, Blaine called, and –”
“Say no more,” Burt says as he holds up his hand. “Really. Spare me the details.”
“No, it’s not like that – we’re just friends, dad –”
Kurt blushes and mutters something under his breath, shooting him a glare before rushing into Blaine’s car.
Burt watches, squinting his eyes for a clearer image of the two boys in the car. He swears that he sees Kurt lean over the counsel and kiss Blaine, but no, he had assured him many times in the last two days that he and Blaine are just friends.
Burt snorts as he walks back into the house. He knows what being friends with someone looks like, and he’s pretty damn sure that ‘just friends’ don’t kiss each other greeting in the car.
2. The Lima Airport, before Kurt Returns to New York
Burt honestly wasn’t surprised when Kurt told him Blaine would be going to the airport with them. The two boys had been practically inseparable since the wedding, and after that night where Kurt went to get coffee with Blaine and hadn’t returned until the next morning, he was beginning to wonder why they were still telling him they were just friends.
He figured it was an agreement on both of their parts, but watching them embrace together in the airport, the way Blaine clings to Kurt like his life depends on it, and how Kurt buries his face into Blaine’s shoulder, Burt really can’t figure out which one of them was the one holding back.
Burt has to swallow the lump of nostalgia in his throat as he watches Kurt press a soft, gently kiss to Blaine’s lips before murmuring into his ear. He sees Blaine nod eagerly, and then Kurt is waving at Burt one last time and boarding the plane.
Once he’s out of view, Burt waits for Blaine to turn around, but once it’s obvious that he probably would just stand there and watch the empty terminal all day, he goes up to the boy and wraps an arm around his shoulders.
“Come on,” Burt murmurs to him, and this feels reminiscent of all the times he’d comforted Blaine after Kurt had left for New York that first time, but before their break up.
He walks next to Blaine as they make their way back to the car, and it isn’t until they’re well on their way home that Burt asks the question that’s been bothering him since their hug in the airport.
“So,” he starts, keeping his eyes on the road, “which one of you is the one holding back?”
Blaine makes a choked noise in his throat, and Burt glances out of the corner of his eye to see the boy looking back at him with wide eyes and a pale face.
“Um,” he says, his gaze dropping to his lap as he plays with his fingers. “It’s – it’s definitely not me.”
Burt bites his lip and nods in understanding. “And just so we’re on the same page,” Burt says slowly, “you two are still just friends?”
“Technically, yes,” Blaine responds, his voice quiet. There’s a pause, and then he says softly, “But that’s not my decision.”
“So what’s the hold up?” Burt asks. “I mean, you two – I’m not dumb, I know what you’ve been doing…”
“I wish I knew,” Blaine sighs, slouching in his seat. “But, no. We’re just friends. What – what happened didn’t mean anything.”
Burt smirks at Blaine. “That’s the biggest piece of bullshit I’ve ever heard, and you know it.”
Burt feels his heart swell with relief as Blaine blushes and smiles down into his lap, and whispers an almost inaudible “I know.”
3. Over the Phone
“So Blaine’s coming to see you this weekend,” Burt says, holding the phone between his head and his shoulder as he rummages around in the fridge. Carole had informed him of Blaine’s plans earlier that day, and he decided that it was about time he gave Kurt his daily call.
“Well, yeah, his NYADA audition is this weekend, and I thought it would be a waste of money for him to stay in a hotel.”
“Mhmm,” Burt mocks, rolling his eyes even though Kurt can’t see him. “I’m sure that’s the only reason. And it’s not because you miss him.”
“Of course I miss him. He’s my friend.”
“Right,” Burt says. “Your friend who you kiss.”
“Dad.”
“I’m just saying, son. It’s perfectly ok for you to miss the person you’re being intimate with.” Burt grins at himself, because it is so much fun to make fun of Kurt like this, even if he knows it’s a little insensitive. But it’s been so long since he’s been able to tease him, and, truth be told, he never really did it when he was still running around the house last year.
“Dad,” Kurt groans, and Burt can picture him slouching onto a couch or bed in that dramatic fashion of his. “We aren’t together.”
“I know, you’re just friends,” Burt rolls his eyes. “But honestly, Kurt, this reminds me a whole lot of that time when you guys were just friends back at Dalton –”
Kurt groans again, and Burt breaks off with a chuckle.
“Can you tell Blaine to grab my scarves from my bedroom?” Kurt asks after a few moments of silence. “I forgot them last time I was there.”
Burt hums in agreement, and he wants to make a comment about why Kurt would need scarves in mid-march, but he refrains.
They chat for a little while longer, and then Kurt says his lunch break is over and they hang up the phone.
Burt laughs to himself again just as Carole walks into the house.
“What’s so funny?” She asks, pouring herself a glass of water.
“Just my son and his just-friend-boyfriend,” Burt replies, watching as she smiles at him and rolls her eyes.
4. Over the Phone with Rachel
Burt gets another phone call a few days later, but this time it’s from Rachel Berry. His first thought is that something happened, and that Kurt is hurt, but then he figures that Rachel would already be in near hysterics within the first three seconds of answering, so he assumes that’s not the case.
“Hey, Rachel,” he says. “What’s going on?”
“Mr. Hummel, I’m sorry to bother you,” she says, her voice hushed like she’s trying to keep her presence unknown. “It’s just that – well, I’m assuming you know that Blaine’s here this weekend, and – well, they ran into that guy that Kurt was sort-of-but-not-really seeing before the wedding, and they got into a bit of an argument and Kurt stormed out of the apartment and – Mr. Hummel, it’s late and he’s not answering his phone and Blaine’s panicking and –”
Burt sighs. He knows about Adam, and about how Kurt had ended his little fling with him a few days after the wedding, but he doesn’t know if he ever told Blaine about it.
“Let me talk to Blaine,” he says. He hears Rachel’s relieved sigh and then the scuffle of the phone being passed from one set of hands to another.
“Blaine,” he says before the boy can even say anything. “Calm down and tell me what happened.”
Blaine takes a deep breath and clears his throat. “We were walking around the NYADA campus after my audition and we ran into him – Adam – and then I started to panic because I though Kurt was still sort of seeing him, so I was kind of, you know, fidgety and what not because I had hooked up –” Burt can picture Blaine’s eyes widening as he realizes what he just said to Kurt’s dad – “and I just excused myself and walked back to the apartment. And then when Kurt followed me he got angry at me for being rude to his friend, to which I responded that he really did have a loose definition of the word ‘friend,’ and then he yelled and said he broke it off and that I had no right to be a jealous idiot before he stormed out.”
Burt sighs and rubs his nose between his eyes. He really just wants the boys to get their acts together. “Well, to start, it’s only 7:30, Blaine, it’s hardly dark outside,” he pauses, and he thinks very carefully about what he’s going to say. “He’ll come back but … I think you both need a little space right now. If you’re going to stick to this ‘just friends’ thing, then you’re going to have to work it out so that’s actually what it is. What you guys have going right now isn’t healthy.”
“I – you’re right,” Blaine says, letting out a breath. “I just – why can’t he realize –”
“He will,” Burt assures him. “Remember how he waited for you realize? You just gotta do the same now, kid.”
Burt can picture Blaine nodding, and he wishes he was with him so he could give the kid a well-deserved pat on the shoulder.
“Thank you,” he says after a few moments of silence. “I’m giving you back to Rachel now, though, because she’s still freaking out.”
Burt laughs and agrees, and he hopes that this doesn’t go on for much longer.
5. At McKinley
Finn had called Burt, angry and frustrated because his car wouldn’t start and he was stranded in the McKinley parking lot. He was currently in glee practice, since Mr. Shuester had agreed to let him be his assistant teacher now that he returned, and Burt thought it would be a nice gesture to be waiting for him once they were done.
However, as he pulls in next to Finn’s car, it seems that Finn forgot to mention that Kurt was in town, and that he and his navigator were currently at McKinley.
Kurt had done this a few times before – popping back into Ohio randomly in order to surprise Burt – but he doesn’t think that he’s ever made any pit stops before.
But, of course, he knows that Blaine is here in glee practice, so it really isn’t that surprising to Burt.
Sighing, Burt gets out of the car and walks into the school he hasn’t been in since Kurt’s graduation last year.
Expecting to find a room full of the glee kids, the only ones in the room are Finn, Sam, Blaine, and Kurt.
“Um,” Burt says, breaking the tension in the room. “I’m a little confused.” He glances around, and it’s only then that he sees the envelope in Blaine’s trembling hands.
“NYADA,” he says softly, his eyes never leaving the envelope. Kurt’s hands rub against Blaine’s back reassuringly, Finn and Sam watching him with anxious, worried eyes.
“Go on,” Kurt murmurs, soft and low in his ears. Blaine nods numbly and his fingers clumsily tear open the envelope. The letter is out in a matter of seconds, unfolded as Blaine’s eyes quickly scan the page and his mouth breaks into a huge grin.
“I got in,” he whispers to the paper, “I – I got in.”
He grins up at Kurt, whose face is lit up in excitement, his smile so big his teeth are showing. “I knew you would,” he says as Blaine throws himself into Kurt’s arms, burying his face into his neck. “I told you, I’m so proud of you Blaine, so proud of you –”
Blaine’s crying now, and Burt walks over and claps Blaine gently on the shoulder, Finn and Sam quickly following suit.
“Congratulations,” Burt grins. “Not that I ever really doubted you wouldn’t get in, but still.”
Blaine grins at him briefly before squeezing Kurt again, and Burt almost wants to laugh at Blaine’s leech like tendencies.
“So this is why you came home,” Burt says after letting the two have their moment a little longer.
Kurt blushes and ducks his head. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you,” he says. “It was last minute, and Blaine didn’t want to open it without me here.”
Burt nods in understanding as the group starts to walk out of the building.
“So,” he murmurs to Kurt as Blaine is busy enthusiastically talking to Sam. “Still just friends? Because I would hop on a plane short notice and fly over to watch my friend open a letter.”
“Dad,” Kurt glares, but it’s good natured, apparently, since he rolls his eyes shortly after.
Burt huffs and shakes his head fondly at Kurt. “Ok, ok, I got it,” he says, holding his hands up in surrender. “Just friends. You’re just really, really good friends.”
And One Time …
Burt pushes the door open to the house, bags of groceries in his hand as Carole trails in behind him.
“Still don’t know why we needed so many chips,” Burt huffs as he sets his bags down on the counter.
“Because Kurt’s on spring break and he’s home for a few weeks, and Finn is constantly eating, and lord knows that Sam and Puck and Blaine will be over.”
Burt laughs in agreement, and he’s about to call out to Kurt, who’s obviously home since his car is in the driveway. His breath is cut short, though, when he rounds the corner and sees Kurt on the couch, spread out and hovering over Blaine, his hands splayed across Blaine’s chest, and Blaine’s gripping his waist, their lips moving together slow and languid, in a way that Burt knows. He’s caught them making out before and this – this kind is what he saw the time when he caught them after the big Chandler fight of 2012, the kind where they’re apologizing and loving and just breathing each other in, all of this being said in their kisses.
Burt clears his throat, and Kurt springs off of Blaine, both of their faces reddening. Burt raises his eyebrows as Blaine reaches for Kurt’s hand and strokes it as they situate themselves upright on the couch, and even though it’s so obvious in front of him, he can’t help but ask.
“So,” he says, leaning against the wall and folding his arms across his arms. “Just friends still?”
Kurt and Blaine blush again, but neither of them answer.
Burt grins at them, and he can see Kurt biting down his smile.
“Glad to see you finally pulled your head out of your ass, Kurt,” Burt teases, turning to go back into the kitchen. “It’s about damn time.”
Because I have all sorts of headcanons for how Blaine ends up as Kurt's date for the wedding and what exactly Kurt and Tina are saying about Blaine at the wedding. So this happened.
~1,100 words
Blaine glances at his phone, his heart pounding when he sees Kurt’s face smiling on the screen. It’s not unusual for them to call now, not since Christmas, but his stomach flips every time he realizes that Kurt is still talking to him.
“So,” Kurt’s voice rings through the line once Blaine picks up. “Mr. Shue and Miss Pillsbury’s wedding is in a week.”
“Yes, it is,” Blaine grins, setting his pencil down and leaning back in his desk chair.
“I was just wondering, and you can honestly feel free to say no, but do you maybe. . .want to be my date?”
Kurt’s voice sounds so timid, like he’s putting all of his emotions on the line for this simple question. Which, Blaine realizes, he probably is.
But then Blaine remembers the events from earlier in the day, when he’d asked Tina to be his date as a way to repay her for his ungrateful behavior. Really, he was lucky to have her for a friend. It was the least he could do.
But Kurt – here Kurt was, his Kurt, his Kurt who he thought he lost way back in October, asking him to be his date to a wedding.
Blaine can practically see Kurt grinning. “Wait,” Kurt says, his voice lower. “Tina?”
“Oh, yeah.” Blaine shifts uncomfortably. “I was really ungrateful towards her this week, and she got kind of mad about it, so I figured it would be a good way to repay her. I mean, we’re just going as friends, obviously.”
Kurt snorts, and Blaine gets the feeling that Kurt knows something he doesn’t.
“Well, you’re my date now,” Kurt responds. “So break it gently to Tina, or whatever it is you do, and then I’ll pick you up before the wedding?”
Blaine smiles and nods, even though he knows Kurt can’t see him. “Sounds great,” he says. “I’ll see you then.”
…
Blaine’s fidgeting as he stands outside of Tina’s house. He knows that this is what he wants, because Kurt is what he wants, but he still doesn’t want to have to hurt his friend.
“Blaine!” Tina squeals as she opens the door, gripping his hand tightly and tugging him inside. “I’m so glad you’re here! I want to make sure my dress matches your tie for the wedding, and –”
Tina freezes, her hands dropping from where they were gripping Blaine’s. “Oh?”
“Yeah, um,” Blaine pauses and fidgets a little more. “Kurt called, and he – he asked me to be his date, and I, uh, said yes.”
“Kurt,” Tina deadpans, her face emotionless.
“Yes?” Blaine answer sounds like a question, because he clearly said Kurt’s name, and he doesn’t know why she needed the clarification.
“Of course,” she murmured to herself, rolling her eyes and instantly leading Blaine back towards the door. “That’s fine, Blaine, whatever. Thanks for, you know, considering me to be your date for at least a few hours.”
“Tina, it’s nothing personal –” Blaine tries to argue, but the front door of her house is abruptly shut in his face.
He should feel more guilty about what he just did, but then he remembers he just ditched her for Kurt and, well, he can’t really feel bad about it anymore.
…
Kurt hums happily to himself, his lips still tingling from the slow, lazy kisses he’d exchanged with Blaine in the car only a few minutes ago. Blaine had excused himself to the bathroom after Mercedes interrupted them to remind them that a wedding was happening in a few minutes, so Kurt thought this was the perfect opportunity to talk to Tina about the interesting tidbit of information Finn had told him a few weeks ago.
He walks up to the table Tina’s standing by, smirking at her and crossing his arms over his chest.
“Hey, Kurt,” she says, and to anyone else, it would sound cheery and delighted, but Kurt can here the sour note ringing throughout her words.
“So, Blaine,” Kurt smirks again, and he knows his eyes are shining with amusement. “I can definitely see the appeal.”
Tina’s eyes widen as she stares at him. “How did you – who told you –”
“You forget that I have a brother who was in charge of your glee club,” Kurt replies. “And said brother and I talk often about the happening between the glee club members.”
Tina blanches, and Kurt can’t help but laugh this time. “Honey, I’m not mad,” he says. “If anything, I’m understanding. I was there, remember? I was hopelessly in love with Blaine for the longest time, because the boy is nothing if not oblivious.”
“It’s not the same –” Tina starts, and Kurt just laughs again.
“You’re right, it’s definitely not,” Kurt says, “but what is the same is that Blaine doesn’t know you have a crush on him.”
Tina’s eyes widen again, and really, Kurt thinks, they’re going to pop out eventually. “But I’m so obvious. . .”
“It’s just how Blaine is,” Kurt shrugs and leans back against the table.
“Well, I still think I’m making progress,” she says, her voice even having a petulant tone to it. “Even if we just end up having a sexless relationship –”
Kurt laughs again, although he thinks this one came out sounding like more of a honk. “I’m sorry, honey, but, from someone who’s dated Blaine, he’s definitely not interested in having a sexless relationship.”
Kurt really shouldn’t, he knows it would be incredibly rude and a bit insensitive, but he still shifts his head to the side and exposes the side of his neck where he knows Blaine had left a dark bruise with his mouth only a few minutes ago.
He hears Tina’s gasp, and another smirk plasters itself on Kurt’s mouth. “And he’s really, really gay, Tina,” he shrugs, standing up straight as he spots Blaine coming towards them.
“Hey,” Blaine grins, his eyes sparkling as he looks between the two of them. “This is great, isn’t it?”
Kurt smiles, shooting Tina another sympathetic smile. “It really is.”
