Embarrassing Stories about Southpauz Part 7
So...
When I was at home, I was telling Jordan how good french toast bagels taste with peanut butter on them when they’re fresh out of the toaster. She was really digging the idea because I could see her eyes alight and all that. It was about 3 days later and, like, 2 in the afternoon when all of a sudden all of our smoke detectors go off and our security system starts freaking out.
Well, we’re looking for this alleged fire. Did someone just get overzealous and turn the stove up to high when making eggs? Nope. Nothing on the stove. Perhaps there’s something spilling in the oven? NOPE nothing in the oven.
Well THAT’S AN AWFUL LOT OF SMOKE COMING FROM THE TOASTER. We can’t even touch the thing because it’s so hot and smokey, so we unplug it and find two blackened bagels in there with a strong essence of charred peanut butter at the bottom.
((Mind you, my parents hadn’t lived there long enough to get a new security system after the previous owners, so we didn’t know the code and the thing just kept screaming “FIRE FIRE FIRE FIRE” over and over and over for nearly 20 minutes until the security people called us and gave us sweet merciful peace))
Now, 90% of us are thinking “no way any of the adults in the house were dumb enough to put peanut butter in the toaster” so we’re looking at the 3 kids in the house under the age of 10 who are adamantly denying their guilt. I took no notice that Jordan was AWFULLY quiet in the back, but my brother sure did.
“IT WAS JORDAN!!!!” He claims wildly and all, like, 9 of us just turn to look at her and she’s all wide-eyed and smoll and I’m like “NO WAY. Jordan wouldn’t do that because I believe in her and she’s so smart and perfect and-” before I could finish defending her by talking about deactivating Ammonium thioglycolate, she cracks like an egg. “IT WAS MEEEEEEEEEEEEE”
She thought that you were supposed to put the peanut butter on the bagel FIRST and then toast it. She BROKE the toaster making a bagel because she double toasted it when it wasn’t melted enough and left to go draw while it was burning to death and smoking up the kitchen because she’s 20 years old and an absolute dork who can’t adult without something catching on fire.