#blogtoy

[suckmachine]

I might be losing one of my jobs. I tried to arrange a shift for today last night but I got a call in response to my text. I told her I couldn’t talk because I hadn’t yet eaten anything and I was in the drive through, so she told me to call her back when I got home- but I had dinner to eat and it was already late so I said I can’t call her back, so she just put her husband on to talk at me while I was driving. He went on about how they haven’t been reporting paying me and how they need me to come over and “have a conversation” about it to do their back taxes. When I expressed frustration that I was not able to deal with any of this right now- he talked down to me in a baby voice “well then this isn’t the best time to be having this conversation, is it?” Which is what I’d been trying to communicate before getting the lecture, but how anyone can sit with “we need to talk” looming over them without losing their mind is a mystery to me. I’m the only one who’s been “doing the right thing” reporting income, why should I have to commute out to them to talk about THEIR financial issues on MY time? I already did my part! I told them nevermind I can’t work for them this week, that I’m very upset about this phone call, and I’m not confident that I can keep working for them if it’s gonna be like this. How do I respond to “we hope you feel we’ve been fair” when all I want to say is “can either of you acknowledge my humanity?” They just want me to return to work for them weekly, disregarding my reasons for asking to reduce hours- and maybe I could if they’d vacate while I cleaned so I’m not subjected to these one-sided conversations, but at this point I think I’d rather quit to try to keep myself and our car from running into the ground…

[suckmachine]

Hi queer person! Are you sick of discourse and infighting? Do you think we all need to just agree and get along? Then sounds like you may have fallen for the bait, and we would all benefit if you would listen to transfeminists, especially-

if you believe in any kind of systemic oppression of men on the basis of being men/masculine, and unironically use the anti-transfeminist terms transmisandry/transandrophobia, or believe the tme/tma “binary” excludes intersex people,

if you see a transfeminist post or somebody talking about transmisogyny and you derail to talk about the oppression or suffering of any other group, such as transmascs/trans men, tme nonbinary and intersex people, cis queers, etc,

if you automatically use they/them pronouns in response to a post written from the perspective of a trans woman or on transfeminist topics, or ever defaulted to calling a trans woman “bro” “guy” or “dude” esp. if you disagree with her,

if you frequent women-only or lesbian oriented spaces that support or encourage the acceptance of transmascs and trans men alongside a noticeable (if not explicit) exclusion of trans women and transfems, especially butch and POC,

if you think that anyone can or should do “whatever they want forever,” including appropriative identification, such as race-faking, or self-IDing as a trans woman or transfem while never having been assigned male at any point in life,

if you participate in the reduction of transmisogyny to be something which almost everybody experiences, or claim that anyone who could be mistaken for a trans woman or otherwise de-gendered would be transmisogyny affected,

if you use your own queer identity, minority status, and/or medical trauma as a cudgel against transfeminist points, or consider it bioessentialist to simply acknowledge how gender assignment is relevant to unique lived experiences,

if you believe trans men and cis women aren’t capable of having privilege over or oppressing trans women, or group transmasculine people in with women when convenient, or parrot pseudoscience and repackaged terf talking points,

if you like media which perpetuates violence against trans women through harmful stereotypes, or will accept only the thinnest, whitest, most cis-passing as women, or only see her as a femboy or object for your sexual gratification,

if you are a trans woman or transfeminine person who doesn’t have any/many other friends who are transfem, especially if you have tme friends who do any of the above, or feel lonely no matter where you go or who you’re around

[suckmachine]

Our pupgirlfriend stayed the night and I’m going to work this morning still tasting her on my breath and she’ll still be here when I get back cause I’m the one with the fuckin car keys- what a truly magical time

[suckmachine]

it’s important for you to know that my MySims town is pretty much entirely women like I forcefemmed all the commercial sims of course I have Vic Vector, and Terry, and Sir Vincent is my he/him lesbian girlfriend like he spends TIME in my house while I’m out doing tasks, I come back to decorate he’s using my hot tub and looking fine as fuck with a little black lipstick on!

[suckmachine]

What term would you use for the oppression of trans men? I've really only experienced it at the hands of cis people (mostly CIS women) and it was something I felt strongly before I looked into transfeminism, so I'm not asking in bad faith or to oppose transfeminist theories. I also don't think it's as simple as transphobia, as these specific experiences have always been around me trying to act more "masculine", correcting cis women when they use they/them rather than he for me, and afab non-binary people telling me I'm "gross" and "[they] could never be a man" as if this was a choice for me

That is transphobia, but that kind of brazen interpersonal transphobia -especially directed at masculinity- just isn’t exclusively experienced by trans men. There’s no opposite of transmisogyny, or a term describing oppression of any group of men that wouldn’t dismiss the intersectional misogyny affecting women within that same group.

There aren’t societal structures in place to punish men for being men, so any term used to describe such would be inherently anti-feminist, or at least ignorant of beginner’s trans/feminist theory. Depending on the situation, I would describe a trans man’s oppression as transphobia, racism, fatphobia, intersexism, ableism, even misogyny/noir, etc, whatever’s most appropriate. I wouldn’t posit experiences of transphobia as oppression exclusively affecting men.

[suckmachine]

Hey mind if I draw our community’s attention away from your important discussions about your specific plight in your increasingly sparse safe spaces to demand that you absolve me of this guilt you caused me by broadly calling out the ignorant behavior directed at you in frustration on your own blog? Requesting I stop appropriating your lived experience and/or co-opting hateful language makes you exclusionary! No, I can’t possibly be biased cause I’m also marginalized and therefore incapable of ever meaningfully contributing to your structural oppression or exerting any privilege over you! Woah, you don’t believe I’m oppressed? What about these weaponized minority groups I’ve never belonged to who experience different kinds of oppression? What we need now is solidarity, why the identity policing? Bioessentialism! Discourse! Lateral aggression! Infighting!

[suckmachine]

Last night, my wife joined her main friend group’s discord voice chat for the first time in weeks. I’m not in this server, which is comprised mostly of guys she matriculated with, but I was within earshot while decompressing before bed.

She was only talking to our mutual partner earlier on, but I overheard as each of the guys came online and expanded the conversation. One guy I used to sleep with, who we’ve both known for years, came online and provokingly asked,

“Are you going to start going by your deadname again?”

“What?”

“You know, for your personal safety?”

“Um.. No…?”

I wasn’t paying super close attention before that, but the conversation had not been going in any serious direction, and nobody was talking about the election or trans politics. He simply joined and hurled this at her totally unprompted.

She muted herself after that interaction, I couldn’t object on her behalf and no one else said anything to call him out. He kept feverishly ranting about Trump, so she muted him and went afk to talk to me and our mutual partner about it.

She’s been out for over four years and has been harassed with slurs and sexually assaulted, abandoned by doctors and friends, and been unable to access hormone therapy multiple times. It cost $400+ to legally change her name and gender, and it still isn’t up to date everywhere official. She hasn’t gotten her driver’s license, and she can’t even vote let alone work right now. Mind you, this is all in a blue state and almost entirely under the Biden administration.

He never asked her how she felt, if she’s alright, or offered her comfort or space to vent about the oppression she’s been experiencing all this time. He hasn’t extended any support to her throughout the last few years of increasing transphobic legislation or even now, despite how obviously distraught he is about a second trump term. It seemed like he just wanted to exploit her for validation, catastrophizing to somebody marginalized so he can feign concern for her.

Even if she hadn’t been out or legally changed her name, even if she hadn’t been taking hrt for a few years or if she didn’t pass, how could he think it’s okay to imply she won’t be perceived as a woman and so should just detransition?

Liberals act progressive and say slogans like “trans women are women” and “fuck terfs” but in reality, they are afraid of being just as disposable, and will throw her and anybody else under the bus just to feel a little bit safer themselves.

If Trump didn’t win, most of them wouldn’t even pretend to care about what others are going through. Fuckers

[suckmachine]

right hand is doomscrolling left hand is hair-pulling

no motivation to get tf out of this loop except-

I have no desire to go bald right now 🫩