#bltn au

[lee-luca]

hi 🥺 that amnesic Jingyi ver. was chef kiss,,I can’t stop thinking about the after reunion 😩✊💕

Aha...ha...ha...what after reunion...Jingyi still doesn’t remember anything... :’)

[lee-luca]

Oh! Oh! Can I take a try on angsty BLTN? So, that night when LZS and LJY talk things out, LJY stand firm on his decision and decide instead of a divorce, they need some space from each other before they could properly talk. Cue some sort of hunt that LJY took that takes away from Gusu for a long time which took his life before they could settle things. Little A-Yu woke up one day, too young to understand, wonder when his Mama is coming home (1/2).

Now he sits on the stairs of the Cloud Recesses, waiting for LJY to come home without knowing that he won’t ever see him again. He’ll grow up wondering if he did something wrong, why his Papa could hardly be with him anymore and why LXC and LWJ would waste their time sitting with him on the stairs everyday (2/2)

HEY ANONS WHY DO SO MANY OF YOU SEE THE HAPPY ENDING AND GO “what if the ending was tragic instead haha just kidding…unleSS?”

I am in pain. You have stabbed me. Why would you do this to poor innocent A-Yu. Why would you want another generation of Lan men to pine after someone they can’t have. I am in PAIN.

My brain automatically came up with an extra something so this doesn’t end tragically to soothe my pain because I am such a huge baby with for sad endings. Anon, feel free to look away if you don’t want to see me butcher a specific part of your angst. I promise I kept everything else though, so the pain is still there :’)

Lan Yu can’t remember the last time someone called him A-Yu, and he hates that because he knows that Mama used to–Grandpa and Grandfather said so, on the rare few occasions they felt comfortable talking about him. Papa used to, too, but then Mama stopped coming home and Papa stopped. Now Lan Yu can’t even hear his only parent say his name the way Mama used to.

Papa doesn’t talk about Mama much, if at all. When he does, he makes sure that he’s combing Lan Yu’s hair, or tying his ribbon, or holding him close. Never when Lan Yu could see his face. He talks about how much Mama loved Lan Yu, about how radiant Mama’s smile was when he was holding Lan Yu. He never talked about Mama and himself in the same sentence. Lan Yu doesn’t know why, and at this point he’s too afraid to ask because he doesn’t know if he’ll like Papa’s answer. Lan Yu might not remember Mama’s face, but he remembers the way his family felt fragile even before Mama left.

Papa isn’t at the Cloud Recesses much either, but he’s always there if Lan Yu needs him. He was there when Lan Yu received his first forehead ribbon, was there for Lan Yu’s naming ceremony. But even on those occasions, he never called him ‘A-Yu’ again, and almost always left immediately. Lan Yu knows where he goes, but he never asks because Papa always comes back alone and empty-handed and even quieter than before.

Lan Yu spent 13 years being called many things, but never ‘A-Yu.’

At least, until now.

“Lan Yu, huh? Can I call you A-Yu?”

Lan Yu observes the rogue cultivator for a moment, too surprised at hearing ‘A-Yu’ for the first time he remembers to react immediately. “Why?” he eventually asks.

Wu Ming–the rogue cultivator–taps his chin. “I don’t know. It feels…right. I feel like I knew an A-Yu, once.”

“You feel like?” Lan Yu asks, incredulous. One or two of the other Lan sect disciples behind him remind him not to show too much emotion. Lan Yu ignores them.

“Hey, what’s wrong with a feeling? Not everybody has the privilege of remembering their whole lives, you know?” Wu Ming says indignantly. “Do you think I’d be called ‘Wu Ming’ if I knew my name?”

“Nobody’s stopping you from picking a proper name!” Lan Yu exclaims. The other disciples remind him not to make too much noise. He ignores them again. “Wait, that’s not the point. How can you cultivate if you don’t remember anything?”

Wu Ming rolls his eyes. “Just because I can’t remember my life doesn’t mean I also can’t remember how to cultivate. Which is a good thing, too, because that’s the only skill I have. Anyway, what are you Lans doing so far from GuSu?”

“We were chasing a spirit,” Lan Yu replies, his expression going dark. He has reason to believe that this was what Mama encountered the night he stopped coming home, and, despite what the rules say about revenge, he can’t stop the fire in his blood.

“Oh? Is it this one?” Wu Ming opens a scroll to reveal a detailed drawing.

“Yes! Did you see it?”

“I’m after it too. It’s been on my list for a while now. But it’s pretty vicious,” Wu Ming says, eyeing the lot of them dubiously, “are you sure you can deal with it? You’re only, what, 16?”

“Already sixteen,” Lan Yu corrects.

Wu Ming laughs. “All right, already 16-year-olds. But you’d best stay behind me if you’re coming along. I don’t want the Lan sect coming after me if I let a single one of you die under my watch.”

“Who say anything about us being under your watch?” Lan Yu huffs. “We don’t even know how good you are at cultivation. Maybe you should be the one staying behind us.”

Wu Ming taps Lan Yu’s head with the scroll. “Not a chance. You’re staying behind me or you’re not coming along at all.”

—

Wu Ming turns out to actually be good at cultivation, along with a whole range of things that have little to do with cultivation, including singing and sewing and treating wounds, as the Lan disciples find out later that night after they’d finally exorcised the spirit. If Lan Yu felt a sense of satisfaction at helping to take down the spirit that took Mama from him, well, Great-uncle doesn’t need to know that.

Wu Ming had gotten straight to work sitting the injured disciples down and demanding to look at their wounds while waving the rest of them off to set up camp nearby. Nobody was heavily injured, but Wu Ming said it was better to be safe than sorry, which he’d learned the hard way by collapsing in the middle of a deserted village once. Nobody argued with him. It wasn’t worth it, especially now that they knew what he was capable of after seeing him take down the spirit almost single-handedly.

Lan Yu is starting with dinner preparations when Wu Ming sits himself down next to him, a white robe with a large tear from one of the other disciples in one hand and a threaded needle in the other.

”I don’t take spices with my food,” Wu Ming says, peering over his shoulder.

“We don’t have spices anyway, even if you did,” Lan Yu tells him. “Anyway, who said we’re making your share too?”

Wu Ming raises an eyebrow. “Aren’t you? After I helped you out so much with the spirit and treated all of your fellow disciples?”

Lan Yu fights the urge to make a face, because Wu Ming is right. He was prepared to make enough for Wu Ming as well. “Why are you here?”

“Where is ‘here’?” Wu Ming asks, beginning to mend the rip in the robe.

Lan Yu shrugs. “I don’t know. Near this village. Or next to me.”

“Why can’t I be next to you? I can sit where I want, and A-Yu is an interesting boy compared to all the others. They seem so…stiff, all of them. I don’t think I’ve ever fit in well with those types. And I already told you–I’ve been tracking this spirit down for a long time, and it’s grown too strong lately for me to be comfortable leaving it alone any longer. I also suspect that it’s the one responsible for my memory loss, so it feels good to finally be able to be rid of it.”

Lan Yu bites his lip, feeling his eyes sting a little. How many things had this spirit taken before they finally brought it down?

Wu Ming seems to have misinterpreted his silence, because he adds, “Don’t feel too bad for me. I’m sure I wasn’t missed much, anyway. Nobody’s come looking for me, so maybe it’s best that I forgot the life I used to live.”

…wow that…that sounds terrible. Lan Yu can’t imagine why nobody would look for Wu Ming, though. He’s nice enough, and his swordsmanship seems to be based almost entirely on GuSu Lan’s style, so he must, at some point, have known a few other cultivators from the Lan sect, if not spent time studying at the Cloud Recesses. Surely somebody must care that he’s been missing for… “How many years has it been since you lost your memory?” Lan Yu asks, suddenly aware that he didn’t know this before.

“Nearly fourteen years, I think, but I’m not sure.” Wu Ming shrugs. “You tend to lose track of time when you’ve been alone as long as I have.”

Fourteen years. That’s around the same time Mama… Lan Yu shakes his head. He doesn’t want to think about this.

“For what it’s worth, I’d at least try to look for you if you went missing again,” Lan Yu offers.

Wu Ming favours him with a small smile. “Thanks,” he says. Then, his smile shifts into something more mischievous, “But if something can take me down, then I doubt you’d have any chance again it. You’d better stay safe in GuSu.”

Lan Yu huffs, and returns his attention back to meal preparations. “See if I care again,” he mutters.

Wu Ming nudges his shoulder lightly, still smiling but softer this time, and looks down to focus on his own work of patching the robe. Lan Yu sneaks a few looks once in a while only to notice that Wu Ming is also fixing the arrays embroidered on the inside of the robe, fingers moving quickly and deftly and forming all the correct lines.

“How did you learn to do that? How do you know these arrays?” Lan Yu asks, now very certain that Wu Ming used to be a disciple of the Lan sect.

“I don’t remember,” Wu Ming says, laughing. “I don’t remember most things.”

“Come back with us to GuSu,” Lan Yu says. Wu Ming is about to laugh his offer off when Lan Yu adds, “I’m serious. Your sword style and your knowledge…you must have studied at the Cloud Recesses as a disciple at some point. I’m sure of it. Maybe we can figure out your past.”

The emotions that used to dance in Wu Ming’s eyes go out like a light. “I already said I don’t want to remember it,” he says. “Why should I remember a place that doesn’t remember me.”

Lan Yu falls silent. If he were in Wu Ming’s shoes, he might not want to go to GuSu either. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you. It’s just…I can’t help but wonder if you’re wrong about that. Maybe your friends or family have been looking, but they just kept looking in all the wrong places.”

“…are you looking for somebody?”

Lan Yu adds some vegetables to the pot. He almost doesn’t answer, but he’s already spent 13 years keeping quiet. He wants to be able to give voice to his pain. “…one of my fathers didn’t come back from a night hunt. We found his forehead ribbon and parts of his outer robe, but his body…they say he was torn apart. So no, I’m not looking for somebody. I just…I just hope that I can help somebody else find their family again.”

“I’m sorry,” Wu Ming whispers, grip tightening on the robe he’s patching. “But I really don’t have high hopes, you know. Maybe I’m a coward, but I’d always rather never know that find out for sure that I’m not wanted.”

“You don’t have to come if you don’t want to,” Lan Yu concedes. “But if you ever feel ready, I can be there for you when you decide to find out. I just think, someone like you definitely has somebody waiting.”

Wu Ming ruffles Lan Yu’s hair. “You’re a really good boy, A-Yu. I promise I’ll let you know when I’m ready.”

“You better,” Lan Yu mutters, then cuts a potato with slightly too much force.

They sit in silence as Lan Yu finishes dicing the potatoes, and just as he’s about to add them to the pot, Wu Ming starts humming.

Lan Yu almost misses it, the bubbling of the pot before him drowning out any quiet noises. But it’s a familiar tune, so familiar that Lan Yu can sing it in his sleep–has sung it in his sleep, according to Papa–and Lan Yu just has to stop what he’s doing to stare.

That’s Lan Yu’s lullaby.

That’s the song Papa made for him. The song Papa told him Mama sang to him all the time.

Lan Yu’s song.

Mama. Mama.

“Ma…ma?” Lan Yu says so softly it’s barely more than a breath.

Wu Ming pauses in his humming. “What?”

Lan Yu puts down the chopping board, ignores the pot, and says, “That song! The song you’re humming! How do you know it?”

“As with almost everything, I don’t remem–”

“I remember! I know this song!” Lan Yu exclaims. His heart is pounding in his chest. He can barely see Wu Ming’s face through the tears starting to well up in his eyes. No, that’s not right. That’s not Wu Ming. That’s–

“Mama!” Lan Yu throws himself into surprised arms.

“A-Yu, let go! I’m not your–”

“You have to come back with me to GuSu! You can’t just sing this song and then leave! I won’t let you! I won’t let go until you say you’re coming back with me!”

“What’s so special about this song? It’s just a song.” Wu Ming–Mama–says, bewildered.

“It’s not just a song! It’s my song! Papa made it for me. You can’t know unless you’re…you’re…” Lan Yu stutters, hiccuping, “you’re Mama.”

Mama–because it is Mama–shakes his head. “I’m not. I can’t be. You’re wrong–”

“Come back to GuSu, please,” Lan Yu says into Mama’s shoulder. He smells familiar, even if Lan Yu can’t remember the last time he encountered this smell. But he knows. He knows that he knew this scent.

He also knows that he’s causing spectacle in front of the other disciples, but he doesn’t care. He doesn’t care. Mama is here and the disciples can tell Great-uncle about his misbehaviour all they want but Lan Yu won’t let go. He won’t.

Mama sighs. “You’ll see you’re wrong if I do.”

“I won’t,” Lan Yu says stubbornly. “I know it’s you and I don’t even remember what you look like, but Papa does. Grandpa and Grandfather say Papa hasn’t been the same since you left. He’ll know it’s you when he sees you. Grandpa and Grandfather and Granduncle and Great-uncle will all know it’s you. Come back, please.”

“A-Yu, ah, A-Yu. I don’t want to get your hopes up. Didn’t you say your father was–”

“They never found his body,” Lan Yu interrupts. “They couldn’t have known for sure.”

“Yes, but–”

“Just come with me. Please. If you won’t then I’ll follow you. I’ll pass a message to Papa through one of the other disciples. He’ll come find us instead.”

“A-Yu–”

“Please.”

—

Mama comes back to GuSu with them.

He’s silent the entire journey, distractedly patching robes as he follows behind the other disciples on his sword. Lan Yu stays behind with him, unwilling to be more than an arm’s reach away.

They arrive at the Cloud Recesses at noon, and Lan Yu takes off for Papa’s rooms with one of Mama’s hands in his, ignoring the other disciples’ outrage at his lack of discipline. Lan Yu knows he will be punished heavily for not reporting immediately after his return–along with running and being excessively emotional in the Cloud Recesses–but he doesn’t care. He’s been itching to bring Mama to Papa.

He’s sure that Papa missed Mama too, even if he doesn’t say it. He doesn’t know how much they loved each other, if at all, but Papa must have liked Mama at least a little. He wouldn’t still be mourning if he didn’t.

“Papa!” Lan Yu calls loudly, holding on tightly to Mama’s hand even as Mama tries to wrestle him arm back. Lan Yu knows that it’s just a token effort. Mama can shrug him off easily if he really wanted to–many of the stories he’s heard about Mama include him being punished to copy the rules while doing handstand, and he’s seen Mama’s strength in battle recently.

Lan Yu hears Papa’s voice before he sees him. “Lan Yu, no shout–”

“Papa, look!” Lan Yu rounds the corner with Mama, and looks at Papa expectantly. “Papa, look,” he says again, softer.

Papa looks up, and he freezes.

Lan Yu’s grip on Mama’s hand tightens. He knows he’s right. He knows it’s Mama, but what if–

“JingYi?” Papa whispers. His brush clatters to the table, ink seeping into the paper in dark, dark splotches. Lan Yu barely has time to breathe before Papa has crossed the room and taken Mama’s face in his hands, eyes darting all over it as if searching, searching, and then finding.

“JingYi,” Papa breathes, voice trembling. “JingYi,” he says again, almost soundlessly, like the words are caught in his throat.

And then, Lan Yu is caught up in the middle of the tightest hug he’s ever been privileged to be part of.

In almost no time at all, Lan Yu’s shoulder is wet with Papa’s tears, and he struggles to turn around so he can wind his arms around both of his parents. Mama stands almost too still, but that’s okay. That’s okay.

Lan Yu’s family is back together again.

They have all the time in the world.

[lee-luca]

I loved your amnesia prompt for BLTN! I want to ask, aside from bring hesitant, how does Sizhui react to a memory-less Jingyi? Seeing this freer version of his husband who talks and laughs so boldly, reminiscent of happier times, so loving towards their son (sorry if I'm assuming, that's how I picture a rogue!cultivator Jingyi haha). And what if Jingyi tries to 'improve their relations'? Or gains his memories? Honestly, this amnesia prompt has so much promise! Thanks for the story!

(It’s interesting that you said ‘freer’ because I think JingYi was freest when they were teenagers, so SiZhui would’ve known what JingYi looks when he’s truly free. But yeah, memory-less JingYi is the freest SiZhui would’ve seen him since they became husbands.)

I imagined rogue cultivator JingYi as being quite restrained, actually. He had to figure out how to survive on his own after first losing all his memory, and probably only started allowing himself to become more carefree after quite a few years once he got used to always being on alert. If SiZhui or A-Yu manage to convince him to stay at the Cloud Recesses after their reunion, he’ll likely revert to being more restrained because he’s in an unfamiliar place among unfamiliar people who expect things from him that he doesn’t know anything about due to the memory loss.

But maybe away from GuSu, surrounded only by juniors (and maybe SiZhui who’s supervising), he would be a lot more like he used to be. But tbh I doubt JingYi will be actively trying to get closer to SiZhui since SiZhui is effectively a stranger to him. I suspect that whatever happens next will be a lot like The Parent Trap lol

I’m actually really interested to see what JingYi would do when his memories come back…how would he react when he realises that SiZhui didn’t re-marry after he left…would he take the initiative to give SiZhui a chance…would he need to be prodded by A-Yu…so many possibilities…or what if his memories come back in a weird order that introduces even more misunderstandings…oh the plot potential…

[lee-luca]

If Sizhui falls in love with Jingyi in the amnesia AU, how would he react to that revelation? What if he realizes he's in the exact situation he's in as his fathers before with him in Wangji's shoes? Does he even TRY to make Jingyi stay? Speaking of WangXian, what would happen if they see Sizhui & Jingyi pining for each other and WeiYing is like "Oh, no no Lan Zhan I am NOT doing this again! Look at our poor son(sons)! It's been THIRTEEN years and I'm not doing this again-" Do they try to help?

Frankly I don’t Sizhui reacting much to the revelation other than thinking, “Why couldn’t I have fallen in love with him sooner and saved us all this trouble” lol

Regardless of whether he falls in love with Jingyi or not, he would still let him go. He might try to accompany Jingyi while Jingyi does his rogue cultivator stuff wandering around, but, just like LWJ didn’t force WWX to stay at the Cloud Recesses, Sizhui wouldn’t try to tie Jingyi down.

WangXian probably wouldn’t interfere directly. They might offer to take over some of Sizhui’s responsibilities so that he can wander around with Jingyi for some time, but I don’t think either of them are meddlers. I mean, it’s probably kind of hard to meddle when Jingyi isn’t even in the Cloud Recesses most of the time anyway lol

[lee-luca]

Hey question but how would Sizhui or A’Yu react if Rogue/Memory-less!Jingyi said he doesn’t want to stay in Gusu? Like yes he likes A’Yu, he’s a good kid and while everyone is nice to him in Gusu, they have expectations and he’s memory-less and there’s so many rules he doesn’t want to learn after the freedom of being rogue. Would they let him leave or beg him to stay? What would happen?

They’ll let him leave. Or rather, Sizhui would let him leave--he’s already bound Jingyi to him once through marriage and it didn’t end well for anybody so he’ll let him go this time.

But, fortunately for this pair of idiots, their son will do anything to get to know his father. Every once in a while, A-Yu will go missing for a few days because he’s off on a trip to pester Jingyi with questions and just basically spend time with him while Jingyi does his rogue cultivator thing. Jingyi will, of course, try repeatedly to persuade A-Yu to go back to Gusu, but he’s never successful. Sizhui will have to track A-Yu down to bring him back, and over the course of maybe a few tens of these trips Sizhui and Jingyi might finally stop dancing around each other. Maybe Jingyi will fall in love again. Maybe Sizhui will finally learn to love Jingyi. Who knows. Certainly not me. :)

[lee-luca]

Your ‘Better Late Than Never’ fic is absolutely amazing! I was rereading Chapter 1 and I realised that it gives me serious Kuch Kuch Hota Hai vibes. KKHH is a Bollywood movie; the plot is this seven-year-old girl who goes on a quest to reunite her father with his childhood best friend per the wishes of her dead mother, and the parallels! SiZhui and Rahul are both jerks, Jingyi and Anjali are pining-ish, kids are good. Of course there’s differences, but the parallels there just made me laugh.

Hi! I was reading BLTN and realised that it had parallels with a film I enjoy, KKHH. Obviously there’s a clear difference in how the main couples get together, but SiZhui gave off such Rahul energy I wanted to push him into the Cold Pool. Have you seen it? If not, it’s a brilliant coincidence. I loved the story and your art! I kinda want to see if anyone can do a fan-fan-fiction of your BLTN x KKHH. But yeah, spotting the parallels was awesome and I loved your work.

I assume these are from the same person? I don’t think the MDZS fandom has a significant overlap with Bollywood fanbase haha

I’m imagining an AU where JL is the dead mother (but A-Yu is still LJY’s due to some convoluted reasoning like “I’m pregnant with Sizhui’s child but you’re the one marrying him so please take care of my child for me”) but, uh, I don’t really want JL to die and also I don’t think of LSZ as a jerk? He only seems like one in BLTN because of the circumstances--he doesn’t actually have any glaring personality flaws. I think, if he married JL like he wanted to, no one would be able to slap the term “jerk” onto him and be taken seriously. If JL dies in this AU, LSZ would of course grieve but the fact that he’s not forcing himself into a marriage with LJY would eliminate all jerk-like behaviour. LSZ wouldn’t distance himself from LJY in the same way because LJY isn’t replacing JL in his mind. It’d probably be end up being a hurt/comfort fic where LJY helps LSZ get over losing JL and LSZ falls in love with him in the process hahaha

[lee-luca]

Your amnesia prompt for BLTN is amazing! I was wondering if I could ask a friend to write a draft with that as the base? Credit will be given, but would you disapprove if some details are changed? And I’m curious: what would A-Yu’s courtesy name be? My friend was saying that it could be 敛宁 (Lian-Ning), meaning ‘Hidden Peace’, since that seems to mix ZhuiYi’s personalities. Also, it’s a sweet reference to Wen Ning. Does WN know A-Yu? Anyway, that’s all I’ll ramble. Love your art! Take care.

A...draft? What does that mean? Do you mean an actual fic? The amnesia AU thing is not so much a prompt as a ficlet. I actually intended to transfer it to AO3 after a bit of cleaning up so I don’t think I’d be comfortable with someone posting it with only some details changed, sorry.

I’m open to courtesy names for A-Yu as long as they makes sense. I was thinking of something like 逢识 (Feng Shi; to meet and know) for this AU because LSZ would be all “I wish what happened to LWJ and WWX would happen to us too and that I’d know you at first sight except maybe for the part about being reincarnated through a demonic cultivation ritual” but Lian Ning sounds really poetic! And also kinda soft and gentle? Which is really nice because that’s the feeling I get from LSZ and WN. And yeah, I’m pretty sure WN knows A-Yu. Aside from LSZ, A-Yu is his only remaining relative after all. LSZ wouldn’t keep A-Yu away from WN. :)

[lee-luca]

Hello! I was the anon who asked about angsty dead LJY and poor sad A-Yu. I didn't expect that it'd spark a oneshot from the AU but it was fun to read! The AU because I wanted history to repeat itself and A-Yu would suffer the same pain that LWJ did when Madame Lan died but your spinoff is also great! (1/2)

A-Yu and LSZ might be happy that LJY/WM is back but what about him? He has no memories and these people are making him uncomfortable. He doesn’t know them and his guts are telling him to run or he won’t ever be happy. Basically there’s potential for even more angst and I’m always a sucker for it XD (2/2)

I have to admit that I completely missed the parallels with LWJ, and now that you mention it A-Yu waiting at the stairs hurts EVEN MORE.

I am so down for an amnesia fic though! I hunt down amnesia AUs every time I fall into a new fandom haha. The difference with this and the usual amnesia AU is that there’s no established relationship for the amnesia to ruin, and LSZ will spend the whole time trying to make LJY feel comfortable while uncertain of his own welcome and LJY can read LSZ’s uncertainty and so might feel like A-Yu was wrong and that LSZ didn’t really want him back and ahhhhh this is great as long as it doesn’t still end with LJY leaving again ahhhhh