#blue line rambles

[welllpthisishappening]

A very long time ago, my mother-in-law mentioned that Justin used to skate so quickly and without much finesse and as such would trip over the blue line. And something in my brain just went: oh. And then I...wrote, like, a million words. And got people to like hockey? And spent most of my mid to late-20s writting about this fictional hockey team with their kids and their kids' kids and people made art and I made spotify playlists and it was, like, my little safe space of happiness and found family and an absolute excess of love that I could just dive into whenever I needed it and then life happened and I haven't written in forever and we moved and @ohmightydevviepuu asked me for my address because she bound totbl by hand! Five volumes! They're named for periods! She wrapped them in laces! And I gave her the wrong addresss because we just.moved but all five (!!!) volumes got here and I actually cried and ran around our new house because it's been years and literally almost a million words, but this is my whole fandom soul and all five (!!!) volumes are going in our new reading room.

[welllpthisishappening]

I just need you to know that you’ve destroyed me. I reread tripping over the blue line and i just want to say that i HATE you! This fic never leaves my head and I cannot even read other cs fics without comparing them to this masterpiece. And you know what? Nothing compares! So im miserable because — as Mr. Darcy says— you’ve bewitched me body and soul. AND I HATE (love love loveee) YOU.

And don’t get me started on actually hockey because then I will have to admit that you got me into it and im obsessed! DO YOU SEE MY DILEMMA????

anon, this is very nice. i have read it several times. so as to let the overall nice'ness of it, just, like seep into my soul. i—can't believe people are still talking about/messaging me/thinking about this fic. it's so long? i last posted actual fic such a long time ago? getting asks likes this makes my heart soar? in a metaphorical sense?

anyway, i also still think about this fic and i remain very glad that i wrote it when i did because i don't think i would be able to base a universe on the current rangers without that aforementioned heart exploding just a bit.

[welllpthisishappening]

listen i need to YELL AT YOU because im rereading TOTBL because ive been haunted by it recently (there are kittens at the shelter i work at name anna and elsa and apparently thats enough to spiral) and I HAVE READ THIS BEFORE and am still SO ENDEARED. and like ANXIOUS to know ehat happens next... I ALREADY KNOW WHY AM I SO SQUEALY AND ANXIOUS YOUR THE WORST (read: Best) I HATE YOU (read: adore forever)

Anon, lemme lovingly tuck my chin into your shoulder while we spin around in a tender post-game embrace.

Hey, listen, this is nice, and you're nice, and I cannot believe people are still reading this story and rereading this story and thinking about this story. It just—blows my mind. I mean that genuinely and in a nice way? Like, not totally self-effacing, just it's been a really long time, y'know? And I've written so many words and so much that I've never actually posted, and plotting future storylines for this fictional hockey team and their kids and their grandkids is still one of my favorite driving activities.

So thanks for being real nice, and please tell Anna and Elsa the kittens that I love them.

[welllpthisishappening]

I know you’ve said you haven’t written in a while, so I just wanted to let you know that a stranger out there loves you and is cheering you on even when you’re struggling. I’m a giant sentimental person, so the thought of you not knowing just how much you’ve had a positive influence on one life (not even mentioning the countless others too), was too much for me to bear. So thank you and here’s to next year finally being the Rangers year!!! 4/4

ANON.

A N O N.

These messages have been sitting in my inbox for a time because I honestly do not have the proper words to tell you how wonderful they were. I cried??? I am a human being prone to crying, so this might not sound like a big deal, but it is and you are and I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH MY HANDS OR MY HEART AND I LOVE YOU, ANON.

I am just—I didn't and won't publish the rest of the messages, mostly so I can continue to go back into my inbox and read them on particularly rough days. I can't tell you what they meant to me. Several worlds, quite honestly.

I've said it before, but: whenever someone tells me that Tripping Over the Blue Line had some sort of impact on their lives, I am—overcome, really. In a totally, overwhelmingly, cannot quite function way. This story meant so much to me and continues to mean so much to me and to know that people out there enjoyed it, is absolutely incredible. Writing’s a weird thing, right? Like, I enjoy doing it. I want to do it. But also sending things I care about out into the void is a little terrifying sometimes. You want people to like what you like and what you’ve worked on, and that’s hardly something the void can guarantee. Also, real life is exhausting. Responsibility is the WORST. Reading historical romances is so much easier. 

But it’s nice to know there’s people, anon. Who come into this void where I shove my words about a fictional hockey team and grandkids that other people are only vaguely interested and they tell me nice things and remind me it’s ok to name the third generation and it makes me smile. 

Thank you anon, seriously.

Next year is the year, babe.

[welllpthisishappening]

you've done an awful thing 🤡 I stumbled upon ur blue lines fic and devoured it & now love hockey 🤡 awful thing you've done 🤡 I'm english we don't even GET ice hockey here so I'm stuck watching reels unable to watch full games 🤡🤡

I've said it before, and I will say it again: This is my goal! Making people care about this silly game with its silly rules and silly athletes is my favorite thing to do! I love hearing about it! I am only marginally sorry that you haven't been able to watch full games yet!

Thank you for reading! Tell me who your favorite player is! I am full of exclamation points and joy at your newfound fandom!

[welllpthisishappening]

hi! wanted to let you know i read blue line a couple of months ago knowing nothing about hockey but it is absolutely one of my favorite things i've ever read SERIOUSLY YOU'RE AMAZING!!! anyway it got me into hockey and now i'm a full fledged rangers fan even though it's frustrating and watching them in the playoffs makes me want to chew my own hair. also i can't look at chris kreider and not think of killian

Anon! SERIOUSLY YOU'RE AMAZING! Oh God, I don't know whether to thank you for reading all those words and now caring about hockey or apologize for you caring about hockey after reading all those words. I hope you also didn't break your couch after Game Seven.

You're not alone, either. Every time the Rangers do anything my mind is like How can this fit into a universe that is already over 1 million words strong and made up of multiple generations???? Writing has been, like, non-existent for me recently (who knew working a "normal" 9-5 with a commute would zap me of all writing energy?) but in some perfect world where I am not constantly writing emails, I am also writing about this hockey team and how Matt Jones totally would have been Mika in the Chris-throws-an-iPad-situation on the bench. Like, Matt would have tried to watch that replay no less than 47 times. Killian too, let's be honest. He probably promised Emma a breakaway before the game.

[welllpthisishappening]

Because all I thought about was the Blue Line universe when reading this - but I can't add a link so just look up Adam Fox in the Player's Tribune?

Hello, anon! First off, let me say that I am sorry for letting this languish in my asks for a small eternity. Life, work, daydreaming about a hockey romcom I may never write. It's all been happening. But! I have read the Adam Fox article, I have felt human feelings about the Adam Fox article, and I think Matt Jones would write a nearly identical one.

He'd ask Henry for help. Just to get his thoughts in order, y'know? And he'd have a lot of thoughts. About skating on Garden ice as a kid. Knowing the locker room layout by the time he was four. Where Ariel used to keep the really good prewrap before games and how, sometimes, she'd wrap his ankles. Just for fun. How the pressroom seat in the third row two in always squeaked. No matter what anyone did. The precise way the air smelled just outside the players entrance on opening night. How when it didn't actually smell different (or feel different) on Matt's first opener (like he was worried it would be) he stood outside and just breathed for twelve seconds straight. He wouldn’t mention that the people at Dunkin in Penn know his pregame order. He would say, though, that the first tattoo he ever got was the longitude and latitude of Madison Square Garden. Because it always felt as much like home as the brownstone did.

[welllpthisishappening]

Recently went to a hockey game, instantly thought of you, now I’m rereading TOTBL because it feels right. I know you’ve written A LOT of incredible stories but fuck lol you’re so talented it’s not fair!!!! Anyways….hi hope all is well!!!

Anon, it's important to me that you know I read this message, made some sort of muppet-like face and then said, out loud, at my laptop: "Oh, wow, that's so nice." It's true, too! This is so nice! You are so nice!

It seems a little silly to just constantly be repeating myself in these responses, but I am incapable of saying anything except how grateful I am that people read and read and all other iterations of all tenses of that word when it comes to this story. Especially when this story seemingly will not end. Legit, anon, I spent my drive to and from the office today plotting next-gen ideas while listening to Taylor Swift.

Like, it's not possible that the assorted Jones-Vankald-Locksley-Mills-Nolan, etc. siblings and cousins didn't have some sort of godparent competition to determine who got to be godparents to Roland and Lizzie's first kid, right? Right?

Anyway, this made my day. You're a delight. I can't believe people are still reading this story. It's absolutely wonderful.