Together [2] (fmaa2)
***
Previous part — Next part
***
Warnings: Mentioned physical abuse (here disguised as self-harm), self-harm (cutting), eating disorder (anorexia), psych ward setting (with patient mistreatment), very strongly implied depression, light description of injuries, blood, violence, forceful eating, distorted body image
Synopsis: Group activity had been even worse than Blue had imagined, but the fact literally every other patient and even the nurse looked like they hated this moment as much as he did, at least made it a little better.
But now he had to face an even more unpleasant event: dinner.
***
Group activity had been even worse than Blue had imagined, but the fact literally every other patient and even the nurse looked like they hated this moment as much as he did, at least made it a little better.
But now he had to face an even more unpleasant event: dinner.
Just the thought of eating any food right now made him sicker than anything, his throat already going dry as Hacker led him to the cafeteria. He was not quite sure what he was supposed to expect from the facility, but he was positive that whatever it was they were planning was not going to enchant him one bit.
Not only that but he would have a tough time hiding from Theodore, one of the real reasons why he would be interned here. He liked to think that he was a good actor, but there was only so much one could hide.
He dreaded the pitiful look he was sure to be given once he found out.
He was fine. He did not need help.
He was in control of the situation.
He dragged his feet to the counter behind Theodore, the latter seeming oblivious to the raging tide taking place in his roommate’s head as they walked.
Just as it was about to be their turn, Blue caught a member of the staff looking in their direction before speedwalking toward them. He stopped in front of Theodore, who had to look up to meet the person’s eyes.
“Can I help you?” he asked, tilting his head to the side as the other patients stopped their discussion, some even stepping a bit further away from the psych tech who just arrived. If Theodore looked neutral, Blue did not miss the subtle tremble in his shoulders as he spoke.
“You are Theodore Bradford, are you not?” He stared back at the boy, his gaze piercing.
He did not even wait for the other to confirm the assumption before he continued. “Follow me, we are going to have to take some more of your blood.”
Theodore frowned, glancing at Blue for a second, before he turned back to him. “Can it not wait for a few minutes? It’s di--”
He gave a pained cry as the taller man suddenly grabbed him by his wrist, the teenager’s other hand gripping the man’s arm as he desperately tried to get him off. As a response, the staff member only squeezed his arm harder, earning another muted cry.
From the way his eyes looked glassy, it did not take a genius to understand that it hurt like hell. Under the other’s hand, the fabric of the hospital gown he was wearing was slowly starting to taint red.
“I don’t have all day.” He simply replied as he began to walk away, dragging the young patient with him. Theodore glanced back as they walked back, meeting Blue’s staring.
The latter began to walk after them, about to call out to the staff member, only to see Theodore shake his head vigorously as a patient who was waiting in line behind him grabbed him by his shoulder, looking away from the scene.
Blue glanced at the sanitary workers behind the counter, who seemed to be pretending not to have seen anything, simply continuing to do their job. Why was no one doing anything to help?
The whole room seemed frozen in time as the duo walked to the exit, everyone coming back to life the instant the door clicked shut behind them.
Whoever that was, he was going to learn more about him since every patient seemed to be unusually scared of him. He wondered what kind of things he would be able to dig up about him. After all, he could not have this repeated.
And he quite hated not having his way.
The girl behind him finally released his shoulder, sighing. “You just dodged a bullet; you really don’t want to talk back to him of all people.”
“Why so?” he asked, tilting his head to the side.
“He’s the first ready to take you out if you misbehave.” She explained, her eyes turning toward the exit. “Poor Theo, we might not see him for the movies tonight.”
“So he is that bad then?” She nodded vigorously.
“Trust me, you don’t want to cross him. You are a newbie, right? Theo probably did not have the time to warn you against the psych techs you should be careful of, but this one is one of them.” She then paused. “Since he’s gone now, do you want to sit with us for the time being?”
He smiled sweetly, nodding. “That would be my pleasure.” There was something about this girl that seemed interesting to exploit, if she mostly stayed vague during their conversation, he was quite positive that she knew more about this psych tech than she let out.
Whatever she knew, he was quite determined to know too.
It was about time that he got it together, there was no other way he would get out of this place otherwise.
Seeing this other patient walk past him toward the ones serving the food finally made him muster enough courage to get up to the counter and ask for his portion too.
If he managed to get distracted thanks to the unexpected interruption of his conversation with Theodore, he now had nothing to distract him from the smell of food he could already sense as the employees studied his face. The sense of dread he had felt earlier just intensified as he caught sight of the plate he was being served.
His heart dropped as he realized an important detail.
The portion he was being served...
It was way more important than the others.
One look at another plate confirmed his dreadful assumption.
Even worse was the way the employees stared into his eyes as they let out one of the worst sentences he may have ever heard.
“You better eat everything there is on this plate, we will check whether you truly finished your meal or not at the end of dinner.”
He did not respond, grabbing what was being handed to him and walking away from the counter, joining a small group of people the girl he talked to was part of.
On his way, he was tempted to smash that cursed place on the ground, kicking whatever remained of this godforsaken food out of his sight.
Oh, how he wished he could throw its contents on those workers’ faces, see how they would like to finish it all.
He was gaining enough weight as is before he came in here, he did not need these demons to be ruining his progress with his body.
He was so close to being perfect.
Why did they have to ruin it all?
All these sleepless nights from hunger pains could not have been for nothing.
His pain was worth it, right?
But he shook his head, holding himself back from acting on the thought. While the action would bring him some sort of satisfaction for a moment, he knew this would only get him in trouble.
Considering how these psych techs treated the patients, he did not want to discover what they would do to him if he had the misfortune of letting his desires take the best of him.
He sat down, his plate suddenly attracting everyone’s attention. They shared knowing glances, confirming that the greater portion of food was intentional and directed at people suffering from anorexia like him.
As he had feared, a few of them gave him pitiful glances, just succeeding in pissing him off more. Why could they not leave him alone? He was fine, he was not sick.
He pretended not to notice as he picked up his fork, pushing a piece of ham toward some... rice? He thought it was rice at least. If they were going to get him all angry like that, they may as well try to be useful to him.
“Everyone seemed to know that man who dragged Theodore out.” He began, catching one of the patients froze, their fork raised mid-air. How lucky they were not to care about what they would look like after. “Who was he?”
Another boy sighed at the others’ hesitation before finally giving him useful intel. “That was the hospital’s director’s son.”
“Oh? Is that why he’s allowed to do all these... things?” He pushed on, avoiding the plate below him like the plague.
“It kind of helps when they are all the same.” He sneered, voice bitter. He would have pushed on to get more information but someone at the table suddenly spoke up.
“Dinner finishes in half an hour, they are soon going to pass the meal check.” She reminded the group, though it was obvious to anyone with a minimum of brain cells to figure out the reminder was more for Blue than anyone else.
Guess distraction time is over, huh?
He knew what he was supposed to be doing, but he could not help it.
He raised the fork to his face, the smell alone enough to almost get him to gag again. His hand trembled as he could not help but eye the piece of potato drenched in sauce.
How many calories did potatoes possess again?
What sauce did they use? Would it make him fatter?
Would they allow him to pour salt into his water?
The longer he stared at the food, the sicker he felt. The ache in his stomach just flared up again, almost begging him to take a bite.
He would not be able to look at himself in the mirror if he so much as touched the food, he knew it.
He was a bit happy about how floaty the gown was, it would at least hide his stomach if it really did end up screwing his form as he feared.
That did not mean the shower would not hurt though.
His beauty was one of the only things he could pride himself on, why did they have to rob him of it as well? Had he not lost enough as is?
A psych tech was walking toward him, so he worked up the courage to finally put the piece of food in his mouth.
The second he felt the warmth on his tongue, he felt the vague ache in his stomach turn absolutely unbearable. He slapped his hand over his mouth as he doubled over and gagged.
He shook as the tech came over, completely ignoring his sorry state as she simply stared at his plate.
“You did not finish your meal.” She flatly stated, noting something down. “How long is this going to take for you to do so?”
Blue looked at her as if she had lost her mind, wondering if she was blind or consciously ignoring the fact he was visibly trying to and struggling. “I can’t finish it.”
She looked at him up and down, before sighing. “It’s a pity we must use such methods to get people like you to listen.”
He was about to ask what she meant by that before she suddenly grabbed his fork from his own hand, picking up a piece of meat. She forced Blue’s jaw open despite his attempts to get her off him, forcefully shoving the food in his throat.
He choked, feeling tears form in the corner of his eyes as he tried to cough the food out. However, the woman’s grip on him was firm and she did not let him do as he pleased, staring coldly into his eyes.
“If you spit or vomit it out, you can be sure that you are going to regret it.” Blue was not even given a second to process the words before she shoved something mushy in his mouth again, causing yet another gag to escape him.
This time, the force of his repulsion managed to finally push the woman back as he fell on his hands and knees, throwing up whatever it was she forced into his throat.
She simply waited until he was finished before she grabbed him by the collar, pushing him back against his chair. She had another handful of food in her hand, her eyes cold and annoyed as she frowned at him.
“I’ve warned you.” She simply stated before she lifted her gaze away from him. “Security!” She called, making Blue flinch. “I have a patient going crazy over there!”
He tried to say something as he vaguely deciphered the sounds of hurried footsteps coming from behind him in his haze, before he was flipped onto his back, his wrists pinned together from behind.
The next moment, he felt pain.
Then, nothing.
