An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
Carey ‘W’Recs Wednesday(｡•̀ᴗ-)✧ presents:
You're on Your Own, Kid
bluefay
@thesleepiesthufflepuff
Chapters: 10/10 Fandom: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling Rating: Explicit Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter Characters: Draco Malfoy, Harry Potter, Original Characters, Hermione Granger, Ron Weasley, Luna Lovegood, Neville Longbottom Additional Tags: Muggle London, Harry Potter Epilogue What Epilogue | EWE, Draco Malfoy in the Muggle World, Family Feels, Running Away, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Internalized Homophobia, Mental Health Issues, Anxiety, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Healing, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Fluff, Desi Harry Potter, Harry exploring his heritage, POV Draco Malfoy, Growing Up, Queer Themes, Queer Families, Gay Draco Malfoy, Pansexual Harry Potter, Harry Potter Has Long Hair, Draco Malfoy Needs a Hug, Food as a Metaphor for Love, Cooking, Awkward Conversations, Mutual Pining, Slow Burn, Harry Potter loves Harrison Ford, Birthday Fluff, Drunken Shenanigans, Hand Jobs, Anal Sex, Happy Ending, H/D Wireless 2024
Summary:
In August of 1998, Draco leaves behind everything he’s ever known. With the help of two middle-aged lesbians, a Muggle bookshop, and a new best friend, Draco’s future is finally looking up. That is, until Harry Potter wanders back into his life a year later, undoing everything Draco has worked towards. Or, a tale about healing, forgiveness, and living for no one but yourself.
(੭ˊ͈ ꒵ˋ͈)੭. * ･ ｡ﾟ☆
Excerpt:
He spends the next few hours wallowing in his silent flat, Harry’s absence completely and entirely overwhelming. Draco sits in a stupor on the couch, a fresh cup of camomile in one hand and the landline from the kitchen in the other. It’s late, past one o’clock, but he’s already dialled Joyah’s number. She picks up on the second ring.
“Hello?”
“I think I’ve scared Harry off, Joy. I think I’ve fucked this up.”
“What happened?” There’s patience to her voice—a tone she reserves for nights like tonight, when Draco is feeling his absolute worst, and he’s forever grateful for it. “Draco, love, tell me everything.”
“We had the picnic tonight, you know,” he begins. “And then we came back to my place. We were sitting on the couch, and he mentioned he’s really nervous about meeting Edie and Niamh. I told him he didn’t need to worry about that. We wound up sitting really close together, and I—I think we almost kissed. I wanted to tell him, Joy. I wanted to tell him he’s the person I think of all day, every day. He’s the person I dream of having a life with.”
Joyah sighs, soft and barely audible. “Then what?”
“He panicked, maybe. I don’t know. Fuck.” Draco grits the last word out, squeezing his eyes shut. “He got up suddenly. He said he had to go, so I let him. I scared him, didn’t I? God, how could I be so fucking stupid—”
“Oh, Draco,” Joyah says. “I don’t think you scared him off. I think he got scared of his own feelings for you and ran away. In fact, I bet he’s feeling the same as you do right now.”
Draco scoffs. “I don’t know, Joy. He seemed pretty desperate to leave.”
“Probably because he thought he was fucking things up. Look, why don’t you go over and tell him how you feel?” she asks. “Talk things out?”
“Because,” Draco says, “I’d lose him, and I’m not ready for that yet.”
“Right. No more gentle Joyah,” she mutters. “Draco, you are one of the most brilliant people I’ve ever met. You’re kind, funny, and sympathetic. But you can also be so bloody thick, sometimes. Haven’t I been saying that Harry fancies you from day one? You’re so bad at seeing yourself, Draco. You think you’re this awful person, but that couldn’t be farther from the truth. You’re incredible, you absolute knob, and it’s about time you realise that. Harry Potter is in love with you.”
Draco’s chest swells with discomfort at Joyah’s words—the compliments, which he’s never been great at taking—and he tries to breathe through it. “But how can you be so sure, Joyah? How can you be so sure that I am who you think I am? And that Harry—well, what you said.”
“Because I know you,” she says, her voice steady and warm. “Because, no matter how you spin it, you have people who love you and care about you, and there’s a reason for that. As for Harry…Draco, he looks at you like you’re his entire world. Don’t you get it? You deserve to be loved.”
A few hot, salty tears spill down Draco’s cheeks, catching on his jaw. He wipes them away, letting Joyah’s words wash over him. When he speaks, his voice is barely above a whisper. “I still want to tell him, I think. Some part of me wants to know if he feels the same.”
“Finally!” She lets out a sigh of relief. “You’ve still got some sense in you. Draco, love, go tell him now before you convince yourself not to.”
“I—I don’t know if I can, Joy—”
“Draco,” she says, a little sterner. “Go tell him. Go, go, go. You can do it.”
He exhales a shuddering breath. “I can do it?”
“You can do it,” she says again. “And I’ll be right here, no matter what. You’re my best friend, Draco. I want the best for you, and Harry is obviously it.”
Draco laughs, a fresh wave of tears rolling down his face. “God, how did I get into such a mess?”
“Because you have an astounding propensity for chaos. I’m hanging up, Draco. Give me a ring when you can. I want all the juicy details.”
The line goes dead before he can answer, but he doesn’t need to. Without putting too much thought into it, he grabs the cardigan from the coffee table, slips it on, and walks into the fireplace. Grabbing a handful of Floo powder, he closes his eyes and says Harry’s address.
He’s there a moment later, stepping out of Harry’s fireplace and into his living room. The couch is empty, although the lamp near the window is on, filling the room with soft, golden light. The space smells like strong, earthy tea, and he spots an abandoned mug on the coffee table, its contents hardly touched. Steam is still curling from the top.
Harry’s awake, then.
Heart thudding, Draco calls out to him. “Harry!”
A moment passes before he hears footsteps coming down the hall. A second later, Harry rounds the corner into the living room. He’s bare-chested, only clad in a pair of grey joggers hung low on his hips. His hair is damp from showering, glistening beads of water collecting at the end of every curl. Draco swallows hard.
“Hey,” Harry says, pushing his glasses up. “Is everything okay?”
“I need to talk to you,” Draco says, his voice shaking. “I need to tell you something.”
“O—okay,” Harry says, an eyebrow raised as he wanders over to where Draco is standing. “Sure.”
They’re close, but not as close as they were tonight on the couch. Still, it’s enough to feel Harry’s every exhale against his skin, his stomach twisting inside out as he wonders if he’s making an enormous mistake.
If he’s about to lose one of the most important people in his life.
“Harry, I—” he starts and then cuts himself off. The silence hanging between them is deafening, and all Draco can concentrate on is the roaring pulse of his heartbeat in his ears. “I—”
“What’s wrong?” Harry asks, an edge of panic in his voice. “Are Edie and Niamh okay?”
Draco nods, unable to curb the soft chuckle of laughter that bubbles up from his throat. He’s sure he sounds—and looks—hysterical. “They’re fine. It’s about us.”
Harry blanches, exhaling a quick, wavering breath. “Us? Shit. Have I done something—? Did I—”
“No, no,” Draco says. “Nothing like that. It’s—” He laughs again. “It’s not you, it’s me.”
Harry’s eyebrows raise. “You’re…breaking up with me?”
“Jesus Christ,” Draco swears. “I’m not doing a very good job of this, am I? The opposite, Harry. I…want you. I want to be with you.” A heavy silence follows. Draco, pointedly not looking at Harry, forges on. “I don’t want to make things weird between us. Fuck, that’s the last thing I want to do. But I also can’t keep these things from you anymore. You—” He sucks in a big breath, gathering his words. “You make me laugh, Harry. You make me feel joy in ways I didn’t know were possible. I’m always counting the hours until I see you next, and I love it when you and I go out to lunch on my breaks. I see Edie and Niamh in us; or, at least, I see them in how I feel about you. You’re my person, even if you don’t feel the same way. You’re my person. God, I used to think you were the worst thing that had ever happened to me, but I was wrong. You’re one of the best.”
Harry blinks, his hand clasping around Draco’s. “Draco, I—”
Steeling himself, Draco interrupts him. There’s one last thing he has to say. “I love you, Harry. Main tumse pyaar karta hoon.”
“Oh God, Draco.” Harry shifts forward, his thumb moving in circles across the back of Draco’s hand. “Why didn’t you say this sooner?”
And then they’re kissing. Draco doesn’t know who started it, but he doesn’t really care. Harry’s lips are soft and warm, and Draco feels himself melting into his touch. It’s everything he wanted and more.
The perfect kiss, finally.
( ´͈ ॢꇴ `͈ॢ)･*♡
