#bluefjords

[sullymygoodname]

TURNS OUT I HAD MORE FEELINGS ABOUT CASTIEL THAN I THOUGHT? AND THE MEMES ARE REALLY HELPING RIGHT NOW.

When Ianto Jones was brutally murdered by a 3-headed space turkey, I was devastated? Like, it really hurt. That was my first big fandom, my first big ship, and it was blown to smithereens. Making jokes about it was the only way to cope.

I’m also really mad at them for not making Dean and Cas a canon ship (or at least whatever that episode has made them) 6 years ago so that @bluefjords-blog could have been alive to see it. I’m honestly not sure what she would think about this. I miss her.

God, wtf even is this year?

[sullymygoodname]

Five years ago I was up around Lake Leelanau visiting family. I popped a postcard in the mail but you died before it ever reached you. I wish I could remember what I had written on that postcard. Probably something cliché about wishing you were here.

[sullymygoodname]

It's your birthday. You should be celebrating 41 years of life on this earth. You should be eating cupcakes and playing with your beautiful nieces. You should be traveling with your friends and family and rescuing animals after hurricanes. You should be here. We had plans.

[sullymygoodname]

I miss my dead friends tonight. I miss them all the time, but today has been especially... miss-y. I can't say I wish they'd lived to see what the world is right now, because the world is very stupid at present.

But I do wish they were here.

[sullymygoodname]

how i wish, how i wish you were here

[sullymygoodname]

Today is @bluefjords-blog 's birthday. She would have been 40.

She's been gone nearly 4 years now. It doesn't feel even close to 4 years, and it feels like it's been forever. I think about her every day. I want to tell her things, show her things, share things with her. She's missing so much.

I miss you so much.

Blue was the reason I wrote anything at all for a few years there, and I don't want to say her absence is the reason I stopped because that's not fair, but. She was my person. My fandom person. She's who I was writing for. When she was gone, my writing had no purpose anymore. It had no person to exist for.

I'm writing again, finally, for the first time in 4 years. It feels good, and I'm excited about it. But I hate that she's not here to share it with. I hate that she's not here writing her own stories.

She loved to tell stories, and she was great at it.

Please join me in remembering her today. Find a story to get lost in.

[sullymygoodname]

I've been actively not thinking about it, but it's been 2 years since @bluefjords-blog passed away and I still miss her all the time. I keep typing out then deleting a bunch of things, feelings, lost plans that we'd made. I just wish you were here.

[sullymygoodname]

Inactive blogs

According to this post https://support.tumblr.com/post/129312400022/heads-up-on-a-little-maintenance-thats-going-on if you haven't logged into tumblr for 1 year, your URL expires and becomes up for grabs. I only found this because I noticed that bluefjords had changed to @bluefjords-blog because obviously it's been more than a year. The post doesn't say, however, if the inactive blog will remain with the new suffix attached to the name or if at some point it will get deleted altogether. Clicking on an old link to Blue's tumblr and finding it gone hit me in the gut really hard. I need it to still be there.