I’m reaching the point of my mental health where everything is exhausting or pissed me off or makes me feel anxious at every turn.
I miss drawing or painting for myself but I am so swamped with other people’s stuff or assignments that even picking up a pencil and doodling is too much effort.
It sucks that the one time I have inspirations to draw my mediums are either broken at the moment or I’m under supplied.
This spring break wasn’t the best, in fact- it made my depression set in deep rooted for the rest of the semester. I nearly relapsed on self harm a few times but I knew I wouldn’t be able to hide it back at uni and that it’d trouble people I care about. so I just bottled it up again.
I’m exhausted.
I feel like I’ve had to swallow down my own feelings for the sake of others and usually I don’t mind but it’s tiring, it’s exhausting. I feel selfish complaining I feel pathetic letting it out.
But if I don’t keep it in I might fall apart faster than I would keeping it all in.
I just wish I can do more and give people 100% or help them better. But I realize helping people is hard when you don’t love yourself enough to properly show other people how.
