Lafayette stood alone on the balcony of their apartment. The chilly wind nipped at their cheeks, as their hair moved freely in the flowing air. A cigarette sat snug between their thumb and forefinger. It was lit, and had several ling drags taken from it- but the light at the end slowly dimmed in the cold night.
Smoking was a new habit for the frenchman- a bad one, they knew that much. Smoking was never the plan but they figured that chasing the pain with smoke was better than drowning it with wine. Better to be a smoker than alcoholic; or it sounded better.
They flicked the cigarette and watched the ash fall from the end. It fell slowly, and Lafayettes eyes never left the ember as they drifted back into their thoughts.
Their rotten thoughts. Thoughts of their father, their familys distaste for them, the fact that they were lying to their friends. The facade was getting harder to keep up as time drug onward- do you know how hard it is to always be so happy? To present as if everything is fine? It wasn’t killing them, yet. Yet being the key word.
What would they think of them? Knowing they’re struggling but refusing to show it. Would Alexander look down on them? Would Hercules see them differently? What about Laurens- would Laurens want to see them again knowing Lafayette was keeping such big things from them? The only argument Lafayette had against telling them was the idea that it was ‘not their problems.’
The wind seemed colder now. The ember was burnt out, lifeless and vanished. Was that their fate? This jetset mask they wore was a burning flame but behind it was an ember that begged to be relit, desprate for a match. Were they really just going to give up, just going to fade out with no fight?
Lafayette put the cigarette out and made their way back inside of the well-lit apartment. They were on a mission now, a mission to burn brighter than their mask; a mission to live more than they had been dying.
They reached for the phone, unsure of what words they’d be able to find once the truth about their downfalls came out. They’d find them, they always did. they always did.
