Christine Canigula was socially ostracized & developed a complex to protect herself: an essay
(suddenly i NEED to infodump about Christine actually so here)
Something I only noticed on rewatch: the way Christine will say something silly and then just kind of gingerly wait to see if Jeremy reacts well to it before continuing, almost like she's asking permission?? (e.g. the gap after the first stanza of "Play Rehearsal"). And it's only after he riffs off her bowling alley bit that she feels comfortable talking about her personal feelings with him (right before "Guy that I'd Kinda be Into"). The same happens with their "weird noise" exchange immediately before "It's pretty killer to sit and chat with you." I know theater relies on being succinct, and that 'bonding over shared quirks' and 'feelings talk' are both just crucial parts of relationship development... but I don't think it's a coincidence that it always goes in that order!
It's like Jeremy has to pass these *trials of weirdness* before she feels safe opening up to him and it drives me BONKERS so I wrote a whole 1000 word thing about it under the cut and this got too massive and I'm sorry. Also some autistic Jeremy meta at the end if that sweetens the pot hehehe
Table of contents:
Why she was ostracized
How she was ostracized
How that might inform her pattern of relationship development with Jeremy and Jake
How gender caused Jeremy's experiences to differ from hers, and how that affects their current relationships with "popularity" and peer acceptance.
1. Why she was ostracized
I am just so certain that Christine has been bullied or at least majorly outcast for a lot of her life. She's very obviously neurodivergent and because of that she can have these obnoxiously deep and repetitive interests, she can't judge if a piece of information will be genuinely interesting to someone, and she doesn't take social cues very well.
She frequently interrupts people when they're talking (an ADHD symptom btw), even when they're literally talking to her about the thing she wants to hear!
(C: "Do you find that? Because I totally find that!"
J: "Uh, yeah, I-"
C: "-And no matter how hard I try....")
(J: "I know the last thing I deserve is another shot, but-"
C:"Jeremy, just... say what's on your mind.")
(girl I'm sorry but that's what he was doing..... I have a whole other thoughtpiece on how this particularly fucks with Jeremy while they're dating but thats another thing...)
She doesn't seem confident in her interpretations of people's emotions and she'll ask/talk about them point blank (both theirs and her own) in a way a lot of people would find rude
("Uh, you seem really nervous...")
("Popular people are fucked up! *mutual laughter* …I mean, you're one of them!")
("I am flattered, this is new / still I'm not sure what I should do" <- as a response to getting asked out, that's pretty bold! Plus the entire part where she laughs at Jake's "rich boy routine")
(also compare and contrast to Jeremy's "I don't know what I'm supposed to say right now." idk. are your allistic stage dorks in the room with us right now motherfuckers)
I'd go on about her hyperfixations/special interests too but I think Play Rehearsal pretty much sums it up lol
2. How she was ostracized
All this to say that I am CERTAIN she spent a lot of her schooling having "nice girls" patiently let her sit with them at lunch for weeks at a time until they finally get sick of her rambling and faux pas. Only when they leave does Christine realize that they didn't actually care about anything she said... And this happens over and over and over. (I know this seems hella specific but I swear it's an actual phenomenon... at least I'm pretty sure? sdjflksjf)
But anyway, it's clear that by the time they're juniors, Christine has kind of (and I do only mean kind of) figured out what behaviour other people respond poorly to. And from evidence I stated in the intro, I think she's become really careful about which people she lets herself get attached to. She doesn't want this to ever happen again - which means if she's going to hang out with someone, she has to know that they actually care about her, that they know she will sometimes be obnoxious or blunt, and they'll still be okay with that forever.
3. Applying this to her canon relationships
You can extend this to Jake, someone who sees her in her element in drama rehearsal (the thing everyone finds annoying about her because she won't shut up about it) and STILL likes her. I think it's a totally valid reading that her bluntness with him later ("Upgrade") is just because she misreads him / doesn't quite get the social standard that she should be white lying instead. But I think you could also read her as testing the waters. If she's really going to commit to dating this guy, she's gotta know he's okay with her being herself. And the fact that this guy (and I think it's significant that he is a boy, for reasons I'll explain in the end note) genuinely seems to like her is a whole new level of peer validation ("I am flattered, this is new") -- so of course she's gonna fall at least a little! It doesn't hurt that he's "tired of being the person that everyone thinks that I am..." just like her!
Her history with being pity-liked makes Chloe's "advice," that Jake's just toying with her and is going to move on soon, even scarier, because that's genuinely happened to her (on a platonic level) so many times before.
Jeremy is also a good candidate from the beginning because he's weird he's a weirdo he doesn't fit in and he doesn't wanna fit in you ever see him without this stupid cardigan on? that's weird! And she keeps warming up to him not only because they're getting to know each other but because he gets progressively more willing to not only tolerate (as Jake does) but *participate* in her weirdness!
First, she does something weird and he tolerates it ("Play Rehearsal"); the next time she's weird, he participates! (bowling ball before GTIKBI). Then finally finally finally he initiates the weirdness and lets her join in! ("weird noises" exchange before GTIKBI reprise).
And notably, it is THIS moment that canonically signifies that they've hit the apex of their canon relationship development. If there was an achievement called "Befriend Christine," it would have popped up right then and there!!!
IN CONCLUSION: YOUR HONOR I LOVE THEM T_T
4: Christine vs. Jeremy: Gender differences & how that ultimately impacts their social goals
I also think all of this would have happened to Jeremy too if he'd been a girl. But because, generally, young boys feel less social obligation than girls to take pity on the autistic kid (and because boys tend to be more quickly recognized as autistic) he just ends up completely alone for most of his school life (Michael nonwithstanding - and yeah there's an important distinction between your childhood friend putting up with you and knowing that, woah, I guess literally nobody else ever will).
Meanwhile, Christine has had people "put up" with her, and she's SICK OF IT!
That's part of why their complexes are so different, because Christine is trying to check everyone she meets to make sure they'll be okay with her weirdness before she gets attached, Jeremy is trying to eliminate his weirdness altogether because he's never even experienced his peers listening out of *pity* so how the hell can he expect someone to ever listen to him out of *interest?*
Jeremy has never had someone pretend to like him before, so he completely lacks Christine's fear of befriending someone who secretly hates you. He doesn't realize how bad it'll hurt him if he destroys his real self for popularity, if he befriends people who would have bullied his real self. He doesn't know what disingenuous friendship feels like, so like a very young Christine he's still actively trying to get there because he thinks it's the only kind of validation he'll ever get.
Do you see what im saying? Do you see it???? AUAUGUGUUGGH
THANK YOU FOR READING!!! If you have thoughts or even rebuttals please share i am so desperate to discuss the blorbos
pondering jeremy n rich friendship dynamic post-canon n y’all that shit is craaaaaaaaazzzzzzzzy. Cause I highly highly highly doubt rich just completely dropped all of his self destructive tendencies from during/before canon n I think they would defo show up BIG TIME in his relationship w/ Jeremy. Like, they have the whole squip thing in common right? That’s what they bond over at first!!! same trauma, Spider-Man pointing meme, etc etc. (that plus they were literally shoved into the same hospital room for however long. nothing brings two lost souls together like watching the nurses swap out each others bedpans. shudders in disgust <3). But the thing is like. Rich did that. He not only literally encouraged (n lowkey threatened) Jeremy to buy/take the squip, he also had a direct hand in building the insecurities that made Jeremy interested in a squip at all. Now, as an audience we can generally recognize Rich as a Very Vulnerable And Manipulated Child but if rich had that kind of self-awareness the plot of be more chill would be veeeeeery different so im gonna go out on a limb n say Rich feels megazord guilty for that. And that’s where the self destruction comes in </3. Rich keeps trying to goad Jeremy into snapping at him or being angry in the hopes of getting Jeremy to “finally stand up for himself” but rly he just wants Jeremy to be mad at him bc Rich is mad at himself n feels like he deserves it. I am a VERY firm supporter of Jeremy Heere Snarky Arc post-canon (bc I feel like we see a lot of Jerry Sass in bmc but it’s limited to either just in his head or (affectionately) to Michael), n I think Rich would absolutely play a role in Jeremy developing that side of himself. BUT. Not necessarily in the way rich wants. Bc again, same trauma!!!! Jeremy recognizes that rich understands him now in a way that nobody else rly does. even the ppl squipped @ the play don’t rly understand what that thing does 2 a person after a while, and jeremy rly needs rich after everything, more than either of them realize. He’s not willing to just reject rich out of hand like rich subconsciously wants him to so you get this dynamic that’s just like:
Rich: aw, you mad? You upset lil bitch boy? Whatcha gonna do about it huh???? Hit me???? Do it i dare you!! Fucking hit me!!!!!
Jeremy: rich it is 9 in the morning.
And I think rich would very quickly learn that ~friendly ribbing~ n stuff is a slippery slope with Jeremy. On one hand, if he teases Jerry n he rolls his eyes n snarks right back, HELL YEAH!!!! Revenge Of The Nerd!!!! Mission accomplished!!!!!!! Rich sees a lot of himself in Jeremy n I think he would be very genuinely proud of him for not just taking shit like he used to (and rich might also think jeremy is actually clever n funny n like that jeremy feels comfortable around him n bond bond relationship sssssshhhhhhhhhh). On the other hand, sometimes rich hits a little too close to home n Jeremy goes quiet. He gives a curt response, or just doesn’t say anything at all. That shit drives rich crazy. Rich says smth shitty about Michael or Christine or smth n Jeremy doesn’t talk to him for a week n by the end Rich is pulling his hair out n just word-vomits “IM SORRY IM A DICK PLZ CAN WE GO BACK TO PLAYING CALL OF DUTY TOGETHER”
And the thing that fucks me up the most is that. Jeremy is afraid of Rich. Not as much as he was before (I’d imagine watching Rich bitch n moan every time he had to get his bandages changed kinda sanded down the edges a lil bit) but he can’t just forget all that bullying, even if he wants to. For rich, the worst moments r when he goes too far with trying to get Jeremy to b aggressive n instead he just goes pale. His mouth draws into a thin line n he gets fidgety but not the loose stimming of when he’s relaxed or deep in thought, sharp and tight motions like he doesn’t want to be spotted. And he won’t meet Rich’s eye. GIRL!!!!! How does rich even begin to process that emotional LABYRINTH bc like, he feels shitty bc he spent so long trying to fix his self hatred by being a dick 2 Jeremy but now he realizes being a dick is actually… dickish. And unpleasant. And so now he has more self hatred about it. Oops. And then Jeremy’s having a shit time bc PANIC MODE SCARY LOUD but then I think he subconsciously realizes rich feels bad so he feels bad for making Rich feel bad and ugh. Ugh. Yikes.
But then the thing is,,, Rich can make a joke. Maybe reference their shared SQUIPerience—SQUIP experience, obvi—emphasize the connection between them (rich has gotten rly good at managing potentially dicey social situations. You’ll never guess where he got that skill from). And Jeremy will laugh, a little forced at first but rich keeps going until he’s curled up on the ground, cracking up like he’s about to piss himself. And Rich feels a little bit like he dodged a bullet but a little bit like he gained a friend so? If u add it all together it basically cancels out, he thinks. So they keep talking and hanging out and playing fuckin Call of Duty together and it’s not an apology, not really but… it’s a start, y’know?
N that’s what gets me about Rich n Jeremy post-canon </3. They both need each other, and they both know it. They understand each other in a way that nobody else in their immediate circle does which is important bc we know how much Jeremy struggles talking 2 new ppl and post-fire Rich is too busy putting the burnt up pieces of his life together to reach out to other SQUIPtims. Jeremy is comfortable around rich in a way that he is with nobody else in the world because he gets it, and Rich feels the same way whether he likes it or not. But Jeremy is also so deathly terrified that it’s all gonna be an elaborate bit, that Rich is unfixable and will always treat him like human garbage or worse Jeremy is unfixable and will always b treated like human garbage. And Rich in turn is afraid of Jeremy’s fear, what it means about himself that he could ruin someone’s life so thoroughly. But then he like? Wants to get Wendy’s with him. So it’s like. Whatever.
Upgrade vs Loser Geek Whatever (and why I don't think the London production should've had both)
The difference between Upgrade and Loser Geek Whatever is fascinating to me - they start and end at the same place and yet the routes they take to get there are significantly different.
In the original Upgrade, we, of course, have the SQUIP imploring Jeremy to upgrade and we find out this means completely blocking out Michael. What’s interesting is that just before this happens, we get Michael being excited and happy for Jeremy even though he'd apparently been ignoring him all day, immediately forgetting his anger and inviting him to hang out like they always have. Jeremy of course then takes the upgrade and its all downhill from there, but let's talk about what runs through his head.
The setup of having Michael invite Jeremy round vs the SQUIP's influence just serves to highlight the dilemma in Jeremy's head - at least, it should've. In the original Upgrade, Jeremy doesn't show much major conflict with this - he just says he wants to try something new, even if it's not entirely true to himself. So we have Michael, who's just shown himself to be an amazing supportive best friend, and then we have Jeremy, showing so little hesitation over abandoning him. Couple this with the fact that the melody of Upgrade is REALLY enthusiastic and upbeat; it just makes Jeremy seem a bit too happy about the whole thing. Overall, it comes across as a massive slap to the face for Michael and probably contributed a lot to the fandom thoroughly demonising Jeremy.
Then, we have Loser Geek Whatever, which has a significant change in tone (and works a million times better IMO) for several reasons. One is that it actually highlights the dilemma that many of us might have. It details Jeremy’s many sympathetic reasons for not wanting to be a loser - it's harder to blame him for wanting better. Moreover, he blames himself and his inherent nature for his loser status. He believed he was defective, wired all wrong - the problem had always been him.
Even so, he still has doubts - he knows that what he's doing is wrong, he knows that he'll be failing Michael, who's just shown his loyalty. Then, of course, he goes through with it anyway, but it’s less because he wants to because he's selfish and disloyal. It's more that he feels like he HAS to because it would be the "right" thing to do.
Like I said, it's a pretty significant change in tone.
That's why I take issue with how the London production did it. For those of you who don't know, they kept Loser Geek Whatever AND the original ending of Upgrade. Only, they cut out the whole section in Loser Geek Whatever about how his instincts sucked and took away a significant portion of the arc of the song. Adding Upgrade back in didn't work for me for the reasons I've just mentioned - they’re too tonally different.
TL;DR, Upgrade and Loser Geek Whatever are their own songs - Upgrade is (disturbingly) happy, Loser Geek Whatever is pained and conflicted. The London production tried to have their cake and eat it but they just did them both dirty.
the Squip had proven prior to LGW that it could block Michael from Jeremy’s sight/hearing without him noticing, so i HIGHLY doubt Jeremy had any actual say in optic-nerve blocking Michael beyond the Squip giving him the illusion of a choice
(This is the post version of a page on my blog, which I decided to make for referential purposes. Though I removed a number of them included on the page itself--which you can find [here]--inks to some of my BMC content will be at the bottom.)
Be More Chill is a YA lite-sci-fi dramedy franchise about a neurotic high school student, Jeremy Heere, who takes a pill-sized super computer, called the SQUIP, in order to survive the confusion and anxiety of his teenage years. To quote Wikipedia,
“Jeremy is considered a loser by his popular peers; the popular girls have no interest in him, and he is frequently tormented by bullies. Jeremy’s best friend is the music-loving Michael Mell. They always sit together at lunch and often talk about Jeremy’s attempts at wooing his longtime crush, Christine Canigula. Jeremy is tired of being a loser and hopes to find a way to change this.” [x]
Originally a niche YA novel by the late Ned Vizzini (may he rest in peace), BMC was adapted into a brief play and a massively popular musical; a comic and movie adaptation that have also been announced, although the movie currently seems stuck in limbo. The Musical originally ran at the Two River Theater in May-June of 2015 with it’s first cast; following the sudden and intense popularity of the soundtrack in 2017 however, an Off-Broadway production began at the Irene Diamond Stage in July of 2018, with a new cast that included some of the old, which then went onto Broadway at the Lyceum Theatre in February of 2019.
Despite its cancellation in August of the same year, a London run began at The Other Palace with an entirely new, separate cast in September of 2019, followed by the announcement of an Chicago run with its own cast as well at the Apollo Theater, set to begin previews in April of 2020. Both have been halted for now due to Covid-19, with London mid-run and Chicago still in pre-production. Neither have been cancelled, but when they’ll start back up is unclear due to the growing complications with America and the UK’s mismanagement of the pandemic.
There are also, of course, countless fan animatics that serve both as fan art and indie adaptations in their own right. On top of that, local theaters (not just middle or high schools) in most American states put on their own productions of the musical often. I thoroughly encourage you try all of these; besides my adoration, I believe BMC is a genuinely good musical; the sounds are great, the writing is a joy, and the characters are phenomenal. Similarly, is a truly underrated and misunderstood gem.
Please, give any of it a try. <3
Ao3
The BMC Darkfic blog
The BMC Neurodivergent Safe Space blog [Empty WIP]
So I was listening to Broadway radio, like any normal person, and this older song came on. Now the interesting thing is that the Telephone Hour has a structure similar to Smartphone Hour, so much that I’m pretty sure Smartphone Hour is supposed to be a homage to it. So here are some comparisons.
(I’m going to be writing this explaining the Bye Bye Birde stuff, but not the BMC stuff because the later actually has a fandom)
So for background on Telephone, I don’t really know what’s happening. But from what I could tell based on a summary I found, this sets up Kim’s and Hugo’s relationship for payoff later. But that doesn’t matter. But basically Kim told her friend that she and Hugo banged so then it spreads across the entire town.
So Smartphone opens with texting and that part of the song has no parrel to Telephone, showing how in the modern age, instead of just having the phone ring when they don’t pick up, you can bug them in text form. Then each of the first receiver’s phones rings 3 times. However, instead of the sound of a ringing phone in smartphone, it’s just Chole reading off the caller id.
Now after the information is first spread in each song, everyone picks off the information and shares it with everyone. It’s pretty similar for both songs, but here are the main differences:
Telephone
In the rapid spreading of information, this guy named Harvey is completely talked over. Everyone he tries to call thing he’s trying to talk about Hugo and Kim and talks over him.
Unlike Smartphone, parts of the song are hostile, with some people talking about how they won’t last or attacking Hugo for loving Kim. In Smartphone everyone shows at least some false performative form of sympathy.
Smartphone
Not counting that text is added to communication as a medium, there are two main differences:
1. Preformative sympathy: Now this is probably just because the focus of Smartphone is a tragedy, but the change in times also makes performative sympathy better. Changing your profile pic and thinking you know what’s happening, making it about you, is so much easy in modern times(I’d link the relevant part of DEH here, but it’s not part of a song).
2. False information: Why Ritch set the fire changes throughout the song. This also probably has to do with the fact there even are questions, but false information is more easily spread when you don’t have to go one to one person.
So. The whole reason Jeremy got a SQUIP was to become “the ideal boy”, right? A Manly Man, A Cool Guy, The Hero, Testosterone, Muscles, Gigachad, Getting Bitches, Alpha Male, etc etc. The entirety of More Than Survive is him denying this desire while also VERY MUCH EXPRESSING THIS DESIRE (ur repression isn’t fooling anyone hun). Jake is the prime example of this goal actually fulfilled; he’s well-liked, charismatic, aggressive, go-getting, mew streak 1000000, abs of steel, MANLY. Jake’s everything Jeremy wants to be, everything he thinks he needs to be to ~get with Christine~ and ~have all the friends~ and all the other shit he sets as the squip’s directive instead of the real thing he needs (therapy. And actually maybe some more friends wouldn’t hurt).
So it makes sense the squip is always trying to get him to resemble Jake, right? It molds Jeremy into that MYSTERIOUS MANLY MAN who WALKS WITH SWAGGER and SHOWS UP FASHIONABLY LATE and ONLY TALKS ABOUT HIS EMOTIONS WHEN ITS CONVENIENT and TREATS WOMEN LIKE DOGSHIT and CONNECTS WITH BLUETOOTH COMPATIBLE DEVICES. Y’know, guy stuff! But what’s fascinating to me is that when Jeremy is left to his own (Bluetooth incompatible) devices, he doesnt imitate the popular boys. He imitates the popular girls.
When Jake is upset (such as when he thinks Jeremy is “having sex in his parents bed” which is SO CRAZY and he is SO CRAZY for saying that and I have FEELINGS ABOUT IT but one thing at a time), he gets violent. Yelling, threatening Jeremy, destroying shit—the whole shebang. But when Chloe is upset or defensive, she gets petty. She interrupts Jenna, belittles Christine, betrays Brooke, and insults Jeremy. Neither of these reactions are surprising, especially to an audience expected to be familiar with teen drama stories. As a boy, Jake would be socialized to express his anger through physical aggression. As a girl, Chloe would be socialized to express her anger through relational aggression. And as the Most Boy and Most Girl in the entire show, it tracks that they’d follow these expectations down to the letter.
But Jeremy isn’t the Most Boy or Most Girl. He doesn’t know what the fuck he is, which is made abundantly clear by the, uh, everything about him. Everything including the fact that when Jeremy feels angry, he reacts much more like Chloe would than Jake. If Michael tried to block Jake from leaving the bathroom, Jake would probably have just shoved him out of the way, or at least threatened to (provided Jake couldn’t talk Michael down first, because Jake doesn't seem particularly prone to violence outside of—wow I should just make a seperate Jake post hes a freak I want to study him under a microscope). If Michael blocked Chloe from leaving the bathroom, she would insult him until he was demoralized enough to go with what she wanted without force. Which is exactly what Jeremy does to Michael, and later to Mr. Heere. In these moments, Jeremy is still trying to embody that “cool guy” image, but he doesn’t have the SQUIP’s gendered guidance. He’s going with his gut, and it’s becoming abundantly clear to the audience that this whole “manly man” thing isn’t what Jeremy really even wants (I mean, he turned down sex from a hot girl just a scene prior! He’s willingly failing at Mission Get Bitches!!! That’s like, mission one!!!!!!!). He just wants to… not feel shitty all the time.
And what’s interesting to me though is that while the SQUIP is out of the picture for the bathroom scene, it’s on and active for Jeremy’s confrontation with his dad. When Mr. Heere stops Jeremy from leaving, the SQUIP originally tries to brush him off. However, it tells Jeremy to stop and engage with him a lil bit, actually. Tell him what’s going on, Jeremy, be honest. And that’s where we get that second example of Jeremy more closely imitating The Mean Girl than The Cool Guy. So, like, that’s confusing, right? The SQUIP has been directing him to avoid any perceived femininity (literally one of their first interactions is it questioning/berating him for picking a “girls shirt”) so why would it lean so hard into this more feminine version of aggression when it could just tell Jeremy to, idk, punch Mr. Heere in the face ig? Well, on one hand I think it realizes that actual violence would probably make this conflict more trouble than it’s worth but on the other I think it’s a rly intentional power play on the SQUIP’s part. It’s directions are intentionally vague: “stop”, “tell him the truth”, “smth else vague” idk I don’t remember the scene exactly I’m too lazy to pull up the slime tutorial. The point is that we have seen the SQUIP feeding Jeremy lines like a teleprompter the entire show, literally saying “repeat after me” in its first big Social Interaction Test in bmc p1. I think it’s prompts being so open-ended is a way for it to sweeten the pot for Jerry a lil bit, considering everything that’s about to happen in “The Play” is gonna be so fucking crazy. I don’t think the SQUIP expected Jeremy to turn on it, but it knew it was asking a lot of Jeremy and he was hesitant. Being vague gave Jeremy just the right amount of control that he could say every single thing that he’s wanted to say to his father since the very first scene while still letting the SQUIP take all the credit. It’s oh-so-generously allowing Jeremy to take the reins to show that “see! Before me you could hardly hold a conversation with ur dad and now ur telling him to fuck off TO HIS FACE!! See how not shitty I make you feel?? See how powerful I make you feel?” It’s willing to break with Jeremy’s Cool Guy objective to further its own obsession with spreading the SQUIPs as far as possible, displaying how separate its goals are from Jeremy’s at this point. Jeremy doesn’t want this, anymore.
And then “The Play” happens and everything’s shit til it actually gets pretty not shit and then actually actually gets pretty awesome until at the end Jeremy is wearing Hello Kitty shoes and telling his dad he loves him and having friends (!!!!!) doing all the GIRLY BETA CUCK stuff he rejected b4 n maybe some of the MANLY GUY STUFF too bc what the fuck does it actually matter, real talk? Like, who even cares? And maybe, just maybe, feeling not only not shitty but Genuinely Actually Okay for the first time ever. Yay!
So. Um. Yeah. Idk what any of this means, rly. It’s just smth I thunk up recently and couldn’t get out of my head. Jeremy (affectionate).
