One thing about BNHA that I find fascinating is the way that heroics and parenthood intersect. There aren't actually many examples of Pro Heroes having families in the series. I can only remember four notable ones, and three of them are actively detrimental towards the child(ren) involved, because the Pro Hero parent(s) prioritizes their career over the wellbeing of the child(ren).
The Iidas are the only hero family that don't really have any issues, based on what little we see of them. Tenya and Tensei both seem happy to be heroes, and the family appears to support each other after Tensei is attacked by Stain. We don't actually know enough about the Iidas (or Tenya tbh) to know exactly how heroics and parenting overlapped or if there was conflict there.
Where we can see that conflict is with the Todorokis, the Shimuras, and the Izumis (Kota and the Water Hose Duo). With all three families, there's a Hero parent (parents, in Kota's case) who, in the bluntest terms possible, really fuck up their kid(s) because their career and "the greater good" were valued more than their own children.
To start, the Water Hose duo continued to work as a team despite having a preschool aged child at home. No staggered schedule, no parent on indefinite leave from their notably dangerous career. And they're both killed by a villain while protecting civilians, leaving their three-year-old an orphan. This was extremely negligent on their part, and completely unfair of them to bring a child into the world and do nothing to ensure he wouldn't end up orphaned because of their jobs. The Water Hose duo were probably very good people, and they were certainly good heroes, but they were not good parents. They sacrificed themselves for the greater good and left their son to suffer the consequences. Ultimately, Kota is left feeling abandoned, angry, and resentful of hero society. Personally, I think this is a completely valid reaction and I never liked the way the narrative pushed for Midoriya to change Kota's mind, because Kota was never entirely wrong. The Water Hose duo may not have intended to leave their son an orphan, but nothing suggests they took precautions against this. As heroes, their deaths were noble; as parents, their deaths were traumatizing and debilitating. These are both truths that can exist.
The relationship between Nana Shimura and her son Kotaro is similar and, again, leaves a child effectively orphaned and with a crippling feeling of abandonment. Like the Water Hose duo, Nana was a very good person and Hero and clearly an excellent mentor to All Might, but, while I certainly have some empathy for Nana's situation and the difficult choices she had to make, not all of her decisions were in the best interest of her child. Obviously, the existence of OFA and AFO makes the situation complicated, and these complications are only made worse by the muddy timeline of when Nana received OFA from En and when Kotaro was born. There are two hypothetical timelines, 1) Nana marries, has a child, becomes a holder of OFA, her husband is killed by a villain, and she leaves Kotaro at a foster home and cuts all contact with him in order to protect him from AFO, or 2) Nana becomes a holder of OFA, THEN marries, has a child, etc. Neither timeline paints the most flattering picture of Nana as a mother. Like with the Water Hose duo, her duties as a Hero and holder of OFA is valued more than her duties as a mother of a young child. I can't say whether or not I think Nana made the wrong decision to cut contact with Kotaro for his own safety, because it's complex situation where none of the characters win, but the story does end with a child alone and a parent who ends up dying in the line of duty as a martyr for peace.
Not much needs to be said about the Todorokis. Endeavor valued his career and public ranking as a Pro Hero so highly that he purchased a wife, dabbled in eugenics, and abused and neglected his wife and children in nearly every way imaginable. Of his four children, three of them actively hate him at the start of the series. Touya becomes a villain with an end goal of murdering his father. Natsuo is basically no-contact with his father. And Shouto is angry and spiteful. Enji is, and always was, a shitty parent.
In conclusion: Heroes in BNHA make really shitty parents because they refuse to place their children over their careers.















