#body customization

[b-e-e-h-o-p]

This game is so customizable it’s UNREAL I LOVE IT SO MUCH PLEASE PLAY IT

[murdersimarchive]

Lover’s Trophy Creators: Mr Fishess, Bonecandy Release Date: April 20th 2022 Price: $1.69 or higher Game description: You are currently a unemployed loser, spending their last day at a motel in LittleRock, Washington State. You grew up here, but the town has changed since then. You need to figure out what to do, what will change your life! You only have one day left before you're doomed to sleep in your car... Good thing others have something in store for you... all the while two bastards wriggle their way into your life! Link: https://mrfishess.itch.io/lovers-trophy-game

[irbcallmefynn]

I think being modular and customizable would be so awesome

Just like, your going mountain climbing so you put on your mountain goat legs. You're going for a swim so you put your gills in. You're going on a road trip so you put your wheel feet on.

Or you could do it for personal style! "I think some longer legs would look good with this dress! This shirt would look good with a little more weight I think. I'm feeling a little festive so I'm gonna put on my reindeer antlers!" It would be so so awesome

[murdersimarchive]

Sweet Care Creator: pamplemoussekiss Release Date: March 20th 2022 Game description: You are a person who suffers with depression, with very little motivation to do much of anything to take care of yourself. You only leave the house to buy cheap, processed food. A pink-haired checkout attendant, the cheerful and outgoing Sakhar Sladkiy, becomes concerned about you and takes matters into his own hands.

You already have his heart, but what's important is how you feel. Is this kidnapping the unexpected sweetness you needed in your life, or will you be rightfully bitter towards him?

Whatever you do, you shouldn't refuse his care. Bad things happen when you don't let him help. Link: https://pamplemoussekiss.itch.io/sweet-care

[something-nameless-grows-blog]

I love the textures and shapes you end up with when you look at tattoos closely. (Take a wild guess which one is still healing)

[nomercles]

I like it as Body Customization because it's neutral, which is important, as this is a space where even more than usual, no ableism or healthism is allowed; it's continual, because it is about claiming my body in ways I haven't before and that is a lifelong process; and it's mutable, so I can always change my mind, change my goals, or just reset back to "factory settings", as it were.  Also I really like body mods, and this is very much a form of really organic body modding.

It has the added benefit of reminding me that there are concrete, clear steps involved.  There is no nebulous "in shape" to aspire to, there is only lifting X pounds, walking X distance, etc.

Credit to Ben for acting as my subjective thesaurus and helping me find a word for this process that doesn't involve value judgments, healthism,  ableism, or the specific words "fitness", "weight loss", or "health".  I rejected the first suggestion, which was "self-maintenance", because that implies fatness, laziness, whatever is my body in disrepair and that is nonsense.

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I am considering finding a pro tem personal trainer.  I need help with

Creating an exercise plan that takes into consideration my specific goals, my physical limitations, and my access/time requirements.  For example, I want to do some strength training on my legs, but I have arthritis in both knees.  While exercise of all sorts may well help with this, it is not ever going to go away.  Also, it is not mentally healthy for me to go to the gym every single day, and there will be days when I cannot leave the house or even brush my teeth.  An exercise plan needs to incorporate all of that.  Lastly, I need to be able to come back every once in a while to reevaluate the plan as my body changes.

Learning how to use the machines I have access to here in my complex's gym, as well as the correct forms to avoid injury--and for that matter, how to take care of injuries when they do occur.

I have specific limits

NO SCALES EVER.  I cannot stress the importance of this enough.  Scales are triggering for me, and this is already an incredibly difficult process, confronting a hell of a lot of demons.  Scales are useless barometers of ability, anyway, and ABILITY is my goal.

This one's still very, very tentatively on the table: I'm considering seeing a nutritionist, to serve as cheerleader for my food-related self-care stuff (ie, eating food when food sounds guilty), assistance with finding resources like a body positive personal trainer, and to help me find solutions for those days when food sounds guilty but I'm about to pass out anyway because it's the third day of food sounding guilty.

VERY STRICT rules about what words are okay and what words aren't.  Fat is not a bad word, and they do not get to make that face when they say it.  Lazy is not a word that gets applied to me on days when I don't exercise.  Fitness! and Health! are abstract, highly subjective concepts that I wholly reject.  We will not be subscribing to the Health at Every Size philosophy...though they do get some points for some progress.

So yeah.  There's some thoughts.

[nomercles]

Long Thinky Post that Comes with Many Body-Negative Trigger Warnings Ahead

Let's start here.  I am a fierce believer and activist for fat positivity.  Not the Health at Every Size movement, because it is predicated on the Good Fatty/Bad Fatty false dichotomy.  Not all fat people are healthy, and they should not have to be to be deserving of respect.  Let me repeat that, because it is important: Fat people do not owe anyone health as a way of earning respect.  I like the Body Positive movement quite a lot, but there is so much thin privilege out there, fat people need a specific voice.  So Fat Positivity.

Another fact: I have an eating disorder.  I'm fairly open about this.  I am, essentially bulimic.  I binge-eat, and then I starve myself for days.  The only thing that keeps me from throwing up--and it is a struggle, every time, and that is a thing I don't share often--is that I am a singer, and purging destroys your vocal cords.

More facts, and herein lies the rub: I don't always like my body.  I pretty much always love my breasts, and there are days, most days even, when I look in the mirror or I touch my skin while laying in bed, and I just think I am the sexiest fucking thing in existence, and I get excited to be in my own body.  It has taken painful, grinding, day-to-day intense labor and effort to get even this far.  When we SJWs say that unlearning oppression is a life-long process, we really mean it.

But I don't always like my body.  It doesn't do the things I want it to.  I'm in pain quite often.  I can't shop in straight-size stores, bras are a bitch to find (I wear a 42J), I don't fit on roller coasters, I preemptively buy extra seats, and queen-size beds are not made for two people of my size.  I can't do yoga anymore, I've lost a tremendous amount of the flexibility I was once very proud of, my selection of sexual positions is decreasing, and boy howdy have I lost a lot of my breath control.  (This is devastating for a singer, who also plays the flute).

Let me be very clear on something.  My hatred of my body--and it is only my body that I hate, I love every single other thing about myself, except for perhaps, my toenails--is not reflected in my adoration of fatness.  I think fat people are sexy as hell, and not just sexy, but incredibly beautiful.  The sheer variety of fatness is so very, very cool, and I have a long-lasting love affair with it.  I just have a hard time with it on me.

Partly--largely--because my own person body shame has a moral slant to it.  Fat is bad, and being fat makes me a bad person.  It's indicative of not taking care of myself, and it has strong religious overtones.  I was raised to believe that our bodies are given to us by God so that we may be stewards of them.  They're not really ours, they belong to God.  By being fat, eating crap, no exercising, I am being a bad steward of God's property.  I realize this is a seriously fucked up thing, but I can't shake it.

But I do want to change some things about my body.  I have specific goals about it.  I do not want to just be thin, I don't want a "bikini body".  I want quantifiable things.  I'm working with my therapist on navigating both an exercise plan and a healthier mindset, because I am also one of those people who does not know how to exercise without overdoing it.  I will exercise until the point of passing out.  I fixate on it, and I fuel that fixation with my body shame.

This week's therapy homework assignment is to list the quantifiable, specific things I want to do, or be able to do, with my body.  I have this thing.  Things that feel organic and natural and achievable, that I can picture myself doing, I tend to imagine in first person, looking through my own eyes.  Things that feel like pipe dreams, things that I should probably not try for, I tend to envision as though a camera is pointed at that person over there.  I am to list the things I want out of my body only from the first-person view column.

I want blacksmith arms.  I am very strong.  I have linebacker shoulders.  I am mighty.  I can one-handed dead-lift my mattress, box spring, and bed frame from the ground and lean it up against the wall.  A 50-pound box is not a big deal, as long as I can get my balance right.  I want my arms, particularly my upper arms and shoulders, to reflect that.  I don't want Vin Diesel arms or anything, but I do want some definition.  I'm always going to be fat, I just want some of the strength to be visible, too.

I would like more apparent cheekbones.  I have a great face shape, and high cheekbones.  I'd like to emphasize them.

I want to be able to do yoga again!  There was a time when I could touch my elbows together behind my back.  That is a specific thing I'd like to once again achieve.

I'd like to have better balance while walking in high heels, and while on top during sex.

I want to have a broader spectrum of available positions during sex, and the biggest thing hampering those possibilities is my abundant belly.  I still want softness there, I do not want a flat stomach, I don't want a "bikini body", I would just like a few less inches, because I like my lovers to have a bit of girth, too, and sex is made much more difficult when you have two bellies the size of mine.

I would like to walk a mile without stopping, and I want to be able to do it while speaking normally.

I want to be able to clip my own toenails!  And paint them!  And touch my toes!  And more easily shave my legs!

I want to be able to do 5 sit ups, 1 pull up, and 10 push ups.

There's probably more, but that's what I can see right now.

So I'm going to be talking about this stuff here a bit, because I need to write it down.  You do not have to read it if it is upsetting to you.  I will probably not tag anything, because I do not want it to show up in the tags for strangers to read.  General warnings, however, for body shame, eating disorders, exercise, ranting about fat positivity, mental illness.  

Please do not comment with anything that cheers my "fitness" on.  I do not want encouraging comments such as "Good for you, getting into shape!"  NO FAT NEGATIVITY.  This is already a difficult, dangerous thing for me, do not make it worse.  If you are not sure about saying something, DON'T SAY IT.  Do not shame me for changing my body, either.  I am not doing this at you, and I am not harming the movement.  I am not giving in to societal pressure, and I do not need a lecture on ableism and the patriarchy.

However, positive comments about what I can do now are encouraged!  Telling me that I am strong and capable AS I AM NOW is a very, very powerful thing to hear!  When I reach a milestone, cheer with me!  Again, I am doing this with the support of a very good therapist, and a nutritionist.  If you have helpful comments to make, for instance, if I am struggling with a pull-up and you have found a trick that works for you, that's a cool thing to share!

Failure to respect these boundaries nets you one warning, in whatever tone I desire and think you deserve, and after that, you will be blocked.  I may or may not tell you to go fuck yourself while I'm at it.

[triangulobscuro]

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/gustavomuller66